{"id":20369,"date":"2020-09-08T09:58:42","date_gmt":"2020-09-08T06:58:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20369"},"modified":"2020-09-08T09:58:42","modified_gmt":"2020-09-08T06:58:42","slug":"posta-redactiei-am-doi-iubiti-cu-care-sa-raman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-am-doi-iubiti-cu-care-sa-raman\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u015fta redac\u0163iei: Am doi iubi\u0163i, cu care s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. De c\u00e2nd cu Covid \u015fi izolarea social\u0103, cititorul nostru cere iubire \u00een fiecare zi, sub forma unor mailuri cu probleme personale, pe care mi le trimite pe birou@lorenalupu.com, \u015fi eu vin cu idei.<\/p>\n

Misiva de azi zice a\u015fa:<\/p>\n

\n

Bun\u0103, Lorena.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Am ales s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i scriu pentru c\u0103\u00a0 \u00ee\u0163i admir modul direct \u00een care \u00ee\u0163i spui p\u0103rerile argumentate \u015fi sper tare mult s\u0103 m\u0103 po\u0163i ajuta \u015fi pe mine cu un sfat.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

C\u00e2teva cuvinte despre mine:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Sunt X, 26 ani, de 7 ani sunt mami de pisic, din Bucure\u015fti, 1,58 \u00een\u0103l\u0163ime, locuiesc \u00een garsoniera primit\u0103 de la p\u0103rin\u0163i dup\u0103 ce am pl\u0103tit chirii aproape 5 ani de zile din salariul meu. A\u015fa am dorit. Autonom\u0103, s\u0103 zicem. Am f\u0103cut c\u00e2\u0163iva ani chat, dar nu mi-a pl\u0103cut \u015fi de c\u00e2\u0163iva ani m\u0103 ocup cu monitorizare media (transcript). Sunt mai introvertit\u0103.<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n

De 3 ani jumate am o rela\u0163ie cu L.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

De 7 luni am o rela\u0163ie cu D.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Concomitent. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Situa\u0163ia este una oribil\u0103 \u015fi chiar a\u015f dori s\u0103 am o singur\u0103 rela\u0163ie \u00een care s\u0103 fiu fericit\u0103 \u015fi \u00een viitor s\u0103 \u00eemi \u00eentemeiez o familie (dap, vreau s\u0103 am \u015fi eu copil \u00eentr-o zi).<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Problema mea este aceea c\u0103 nu sunt deloc bun\u0103 la a face alegeri. \u015ei pentru c\u0103 \u00eemi este team\u0103 c\u0103 voi regreta alegerea f\u0103cut\u0103 \u00een viitor, \u00een prezent (\u015fi de vreo c\u00e2teva luni chiar) nu fac nicio alegere. Iar asta doar m\u0103 chinuie. Dac\u0103 a\u015f alege un b\u0103iat din cei doi, alegerea este una ireversibil\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 nicio cale de \u00eentoarcere. Nu a\u015f putea s\u0103 m\u0103 r\u0103zg\u00e2ndesc.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

S\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i spun c\u00e2te ceva despre cei doi:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

1. L.: 26 ani, din provincie. M\u0103 atrage aspectul s\u0103u fizic, dar mai ales mintea lui<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Calit\u0103\u0163i:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>absolvent facultate\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>job \u00een domeniu pe salariu de 3000, \u015ftie c\u0103 merit\u0103 mai mult dar \u00eei place atmosfera prietenoas\u0103 a b\u0103ie\u0163ilor cu care lucreaz\u0103<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>a stat \u00een c\u0103min 4 ani, ulterior chirie<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>1,85 m<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00ee<\/span>i plac pisicile, iar pisicu meu \u00eel vede ca pe un tati \u015fi \u00eel ador\u0103<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>dispus la a face pui cu mine \u015fi preg\u0103tit s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi asume toate responsabilit\u0103\u0163ile care \u00eei revin<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00ee<\/span>mi face cadouri generoase, diverse obiecte de calitate pe care mi le doresc (mofturi) sau de care am nevoie \u015fi nu mi le permit (imprimant\u0103, lamp\u0103 de unghii etc)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00ee<\/span>n pat m\u0103 simt super dezinhibat\u0103 \u015fi confortabil cu el, cu toate c\u0103 natura nu l-a f\u0103cut tocmai terente, \u015ftie ce \u015fi cum s\u0103 fac\u0103, s\u0103 ajung \u00een mult doritul punct al pl\u0103cerii<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>de\u015ftept.\u00a0 da, am ce vorbi cu el \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eei cer p\u0103reri \u015fi sfaturi, iar acestea vin argumentate \u015fi foarte ra\u0163ionale<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>cultur\u0103 general\u0103 foarte bine dezvoltat\u0103, nicio gre\u015feal\u0103 gramatical\u0103\/de exprimare de c\u00e2nd \u00eel cunosc<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Defecte:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>nu are ma\u015fin\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103, dar ar dori sa dea de permis (\u00eel va lua din prima, deoarece nu este omul care sa aib\u0103 vreun e\u0219ec sau s\u0103 pice vreun examen la ceva \u00een via\u021ba lui)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>din motive de s\u0103n\u0103tate, nu poate face efort fizic intens sau obose\u0219te repede \u0219i i se face r\u0103u; aceasta e o problem\u0103 din na\u0219tere, neereditar\u0103, duce o via\u021b\u0103 relativ normal\u0103, dar mai pu\u021bin activ\u0103.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>nu are prieteni, doar cuno\u0219tin\u021be<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>stilul vestimentar pe care nu dore\u0219te s\u0103 \u00eel schimbe: o groaz\u0103 de haine cam de mo\u0219. adic\u0103 \u00eel prefer \u00een cas\u0103 \u0219i \u00een haine de cas\u0103<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>a\u0219 intra \u00een p\u0103m\u00e2nt de ru\u0219ine dac\u0103 ar afla c\u0103 primul meu job a fost la chat, timp de c\u00e2teva luni bune (\u00een timp ce el era la olimpiade \u0219i sus\u021binea prezent\u0103ri de fizic\u0103 cuantic\u0103 \u0219i inginerie aerospa\u021bial\u0103) este open minded, nu ar avea o p\u0103rere ur\u00e2t\u0103, doar ar fi dezam\u0103git de mine un pic<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

2. D, 31 ani, din Bucure\u0219ti. arat\u0103 bine. Arat\u0103 \u0219i mai bine c\u00e2nd tace. Are for\u021b\u0103 \u0219i e bun de c\u0103rat\/mutat lucruri pe gratis.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Calit\u0103\u021bi:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>are ma\u0219in\u0103 \u0219i acest lucru e un ajutor foarte mare pentru mine, chiar dac\u0103 am permis, nu mi-a\u0219 permite ma\u0219in\u0103 \u00een viitorul apropiat, iar taxiul e cam scump<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00ee<\/span>i plac pisicile, dar pisicu meu nu \u00eel place (pisicu meu chiar e super prietenos, dar cu el e a\u0219a cam ne\u00eenc\u00e2ntat c\u00e2nd vine \u00een vizit\u0103 la mine, nu vorbe\u0219te cu el, nu \u00eei sare \u00een bra\u021be, nu se gudur\u0103, iar astfel de gesturi le face \u0219i cu str\u0103ini care intr\u0103 in cas\u0103, cum ar fi omul care vine s\u0103 citeasc\u0103 panoul pentru regularizarea la lumin\u0103)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>ne \u0219tim de 9 ani si tot de at\u00e2\u021bia, de c\u00e2nd m-a v\u0103zut prima oar\u0103, prin prieteni comuni, este obsedat de mine (nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 e neap\u0103rat o calitate); c\u00e2nd spun obsedat – chiar o spun \u00een adev\u0103ratul sens, \u0219tie ca am f\u0103cut chat<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>condi\u021bie fizic\u0103 bun\u0103 \u0219i ar fi dispus s\u0103 fac\u0103 trasee montane cu mine (pasiunea mea \u0219i greu g\u0103sesc oameni cu care s\u0103 merg)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>prietenii lui \u00eemi sunt apropia\u021bi, gen nu m-a\u0219 \u00eentreba “oare ce facem de revelion”<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>3 tricouri \u0219i o pereche de blugi care \u00eei vin bine (nu de firm\u0103)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>are chitar\u0103 \u0219i \u0219tie c\u00e2teva acorduri ca hobby<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Defecte:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>1,65m<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>st\u0103 cu mami \u0219i cu tati, dar el are camera lui<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>nu m\u0103 r\u0103sfa\u021b\u0103, nu le are cu d\u0103ruitul de cadouri, doar c\u00e2teva floricele, \u0219i asta c\u0103 i-am b\u0103tut eu obrazu’!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>slabe \u0219anse s\u0103 \u00eel conving vreodat\u0103 s\u0103 procreeze \u0219i dupa lungi insisten\u021be, poate<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

(\u0219i chiar \u0219i atunci, o s\u0103 cari singur\u0103 responsabilitatea copilului. L.)<\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>mofturos la m\u00e2ncare<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>dotat de la natur\u0103, dar at\u00e2t. S<\/span>e vede c\u0103 el chiar \u00eencearc\u0103, dar ceva nu prea iese din partea mea.. m\u0103 termin solo<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>nu a terminat faculta’ de medicin\u0103, a renun\u021bat \u00een ultimul an c\u0103 se sim\u021bea cople\u0219it, dar de c\u00e2\u021biva ani tot “are de g\u00e2nd s\u0103…” dac\u0103 \u00eei spui cuv\u00e2ntul “cervical” te va \u00eentreba dac\u0103 e vreun pub la care dore\u0219ti s\u0103 mergi \u0219i cam cum sunt pre\u021burile; lucreaz\u0103 \u00een call center pe 20, de aproximativ 8 luni – first job ever (repet, 31 ani).<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>nu se pricepe la nimic \u00een mod special, adic\u0103 nu l-a\u0219 putea \u00eentreba una-alta \u0219i s\u0103 am \u00eencredere c\u0103 \u00eemi d\u0103 un r\u0103spuns pertinent<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>“\u0219i daca mai scap\u0103 c\u00e2te o gre\u0219eal\u0103 gramatical\u0103 \u00een mesaje, asta e, doar nu d\u0103 vreun test la \u0219coal\u0103” pfff<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Adev\u0103rul e c\u0103 ace\u0219ti doi b\u0103ie\u021bi s-ar completa de minune dac\u0103 ar fi s\u0103 adun calit\u0103\u021bile am\u00e2ndurora.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Te \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219ez \u0219i\u00a0 \u00ee\u021bi urez o zi c\u00e2t mai pl\u0103cut\u0103!<\/strong><\/div>\n
X.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
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***<\/div>\n
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Drag\u0103 X,<\/div>\n
Nu \u0219tiu de ei, dar tu \u00een mod sigur ar trebui s\u0103-\u021bi iei un job \u00een Resurse Umane. Modul \u00een care ai schi\u021bat profilul candida\u021bilor, cu puncte tari \u0219i puncte slabe, are zero leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu dragostea, \u00een schimb e un talent \u00een sine, \u0219i mul\u021bi HR manageri nu \u00eel au.<\/div>\n
Pe de alt\u0103 parte, te felicit pentru realism. O gr\u0103mad\u0103 de alte fete care-mi scriu \u00ee\u0219i v\u0103d iubi\u021bii mult idealiza\u021bi, sau se g\u00e2ndesc \u00een ce moduri \u00eei vor schimba, ceea ce evident c\u0103 nu se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 niciodat\u0103, \u0219i tot ele sufer\u0103. Aptitudinea de a-i vedea exact cum sunt \u0219i de a lucra cu materialul clientului e wow.<\/div>\n
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*<\/div>\n
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Acum s\u0103 trecem la profilurile candida\u021bilor \u0219i s\u0103 vedem care e potrivit pentru jobul de long time relationship officer. Scuze de glum\u0103, dar \u00eenc\u0103 sunt bulversat\u0103 de aceste portrete.<\/div>\n
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Al doilea e un NU hot\u0103r\u00e2t. Listen to your cat, mama. C\u00e2nd pisicile nu agreeaz\u0103 un om, de obicei e \u00eentemeiat. \u0218i nu pentru c\u0103 are 1.65, dar sincer: la 31 de ani s\u0103 ai primul job \u0219i s\u0103 stai cu p\u0103rin\u021bii? LOOOSER. \u0218tiu, c\u00e2nd ai 26 de ani, faptul c\u0103 un tip e un loser nu e un mare impediment, dac\u0103 e distractiv. Fast forward 15 ani: ave\u021bi doi copii, tu munce\u0219ti \u00een dou\u0103 joburi s\u0103 acoperi facturile \u0219i cheltuielile \u0219colare, iar el st\u0103 pe canapea acas\u0103 \u0219i se uit\u0103 la teleshopping, spal\u0103 dou\u0103 farfurii \u0219i zice c\u0103 a f\u0103cut treab\u0103 \u00een cas\u0103.<\/div>\n
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\u00ce\u021bi g\u0103se\u0219ti ga\u0219c\u0103 de alpini\u0219ti la orice or\u0103. Sunt grupuri de alpini\u0219ti \u0219i pe Facebook. \u00ce\u021bi g\u0103se\u0219ti muncitori care s\u0103 mute mobil\u0103. \u0218i transportul \u00een comun n-a cobor\u00e2t \u00een mod real rangul nim\u0103nui. Eu iau metroul \u00een fiecare zi, \u0219i nu pentru c\u0103 nu \u00eemi permit o ma\u0219in\u0103, ci pentru c\u0103 nu am chef s\u0103 stau bar\u0103 la\u00a0 bar\u0103 \u00een ambuteiaje.<\/div>\n
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*<\/div>\n
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Primul e un boyfriend cu poten\u021bial, dar, av\u00e2nd \u00een vedere c\u0103 l-ai \u00een\u0219elat \u00ceN TIMP CE aveai o rela\u021bie cu el, \u00een mod evident nu te satisface.\u00a0 C\u00e2nd un b\u0103rbat te intereseaz\u0103 exclusiv, my dear, are aceast\u0103 calitate, s\u0103 te fac\u0103 s\u0103 nu ai ochi pentru restul b\u0103rba\u021bilor. Tu, prin \u00eensu\u0219i faptul c\u0103 \u00eemi descrii un alt tip, de\u0219i \u0103sta e cu tine, \u00eemi dovede\u0219ti c\u0103 te prive\u0219ti ca pe un om cu op\u021biunile deschise. Deci, you are not so much into him.<\/div>\n
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De ce e o problem\u0103?<\/div>\n
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Pentru c\u0103, dac\u0103 nu exist\u0103 comuniunea emo\u021bional\u0103, \u00een c\u00e2\u021biva ani ve\u021bi avea o cas\u0103 superb\u0103, toate facilit\u0103\u021bile \u0219i tot luxul, dar ve\u021bi tr\u0103i vie\u021bi separate, pentru c\u0103 nu ave\u021bi feelingul care une\u0219te un cuplu cu adev\u0103rat \u00eendr\u0103gostit. (Dar dragostea se toce\u0219te, o s\u0103 sar\u0103 instant gogu. S-o fi tocind cheful de a face amor \u00een dormitor, dar conexiunea emo\u021bional\u0103, sentimentul de suflet pereche, \u0103la care face b\u0103tr\u00e2nei s\u0103 se plimbe de m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een Ci\u0219migiu, r\u0103m\u00e2ne.<\/div>\n
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Verdict; mai caut\u0103.<\/div>\n
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Sper c\u0103 \u021bi-am fost util\u0103,<\/div>\n
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Lorena.<\/div>\n
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***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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