Mbun. Acum, c\u0103 am l\u0103murit-o pe asta, s\u0103 trecem la horoscop.<\/p>\n
Berbecul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “S\u0103 \u00eenceap\u0103 o dat\u0103 \u015fcoala aia, frate. Deja i-am b\u0103tut pe to\u0163i de la mine din cartier, \u015fi to\u0163i \u0163\u0103ranii de la \u0163ar\u0103, de la bunica, nu mai am cu cine s\u0103 m\u0103 bat \u015fi m\u0103 plictisesc.”<\/p>\n Taurul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Nu pot s\u0103 cred c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 plec de acas\u0103, tocmai acum, c\u00e2nd am f\u0103cut rochi\u0163e noi pentru toate p\u0103pu\u015file. \u015ei a f\u0103cut \u015fi bunica pr\u0103jitur\u0103 cu ciocolat\u0103. \u0102\u015ftia abia a\u015fteapt\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 piard\u0103 din vizor, s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce toat\u0103 pr\u0103jitura.” 4<\/p>\n Gemenii<\/strong><\/p>\n “Oare o s\u0103 zic\u0103 ceva diriga dac\u0103 \u00eemi iau rochia aia foarte scurt\u0103? Data trecut\u0103 a comentat c\u0103 mi se v\u0103d c**iele, dar \u00eentre timp am descoperit chilo\u0163eii modelatori. Ah, \u015fi sper s\u0103 \u00eel avem la sport pe proful \u0103la hooot \u015fi sexy, omggggg. S\u0103 vezi cum m\u0103 \u00eempiedic eu de c\u00e2te ori m\u0103 pune s\u0103 alerg.”<\/p>\n Racul<\/strong><\/p>\n “Mi-e a\u015fa de dooor de toate fetele mele frumoase, de surorile mele de suflet, de doamna \u00eenv\u0103\u0163\u0103toare care mi-a d\u0103ruit de ziua mea un semn de carte pe care \u00eel am \u015fi acum. O s\u0103 le povestesc fiec\u0103reia \u00een parte c\u00e2te 30 de minute c\u00e2t am visat-o. Le-am f\u0103cut c\u0103r\u0163i po\u015ftale personalizate cu c\u00e2te o amintire comun\u0103 \u015fi 67890 de inimioare. \u015ecoala e iubire, \u015fcoala e via\u0163\u0103.”<\/p>\n Leul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Oare cum le-o fi fost fraierilor \u0103\u015ftia de la mine din clas\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 regele, \u00eemp\u0103ratul, sultanul \u015fi faraonul lor? Pariez c\u0103 au avut cele mai deprimante vacan\u0163e, \u015fi a\u015fteapt\u0103 s\u0103 reapar eu s\u0103 le dau din nou via\u0163\u0103 \u015fi sens. Who’s ya daddy, b**ches?<\/p>\n Fecioara\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “\u00ceuuu, masc\u0103. Sc\u00e2rbos. \u015ei nu foarte s\u0103n\u0103tos, opt ore pe zi. Nu putem s\u0103 facem naibii \u015fcoal\u0103 online \u015fi s\u0103 nu lu\u0103m microbi unii de la al\u0163ii. Parc\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u0163 mai bine c\u00e2nd nu m\u0103 trag to\u0163i infec\u0163ii de codi\u0163e cu unghiile lor negre.<\/p>\n Balan\u0163a\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Ce bine c\u0103 \u00eencepe \u015fcoala. Care e farmecul tuturor acestor pr\u0103jituri dac\u0103 nu ai colegi cu care s\u0103 le \u00eempar\u0163i? Ce rost are s\u0103 ai tricouri faine cu paiete dac\u0103 nu po\u0163i face schimb de haine cu fetele? Abia a\u015ftept s\u0103 aduc o coleg\u0103 s\u0103 doarm\u0103 la noi, sau s\u0103 dorm eu la ea. Via\u0163a f\u0103r\u0103 oameni nu e via\u0163\u0103. Ce Covid? Iau \u015fi eu pe cineva care nu are febr\u0103.<\/p>\n Scorpionul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Aoleu, iar ne \u00eentoarcem la hruba de pro\u015fti. \u00cen fine, m\u0103car am de cine s\u0103 fac mi\u015ftouri \u015fi pe cine s\u0103 montez la certuri. Pl\u0103cerea mea: pro\u015fti f\u0103c\u00e2nd spume la gur\u0103. Ahahahaha.”<\/p>\n S\u0103get\u0103torul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Mie, sincer, mi-e totuna. Pot citi c\u0103r\u0163i din afara bibliografiei \u015fcolare \u015fi de acas\u0103, \u015fi pe furi\u015f din banc\u0103. Nu au \u0103\u015ftia ce s\u0103-mi predea \u015fi eu s\u0103 nu \u015ftiu deja. Dac\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentrerup din Amantul doamnei Chatterley, \u00eei povestesc profei ideile principale ale lec\u0163iei pe care tocmai o pred\u0103, apoi o \u00eentreb ce mai vrea s\u0103 \u015ftie.”<\/p>\n Capricornul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “A, se deschide din nou comer\u0163uuul. Cine face bani din a cump\u0103ra carioci de la un fraier cu 10 lei \u015fi din a le vinde la alt fraier cu 40 de lei? Ne \u00eembog\u0103\u0163iiim iar. Era \u015fi timpul, c\u0103 fra\u0163ii mei nu mai bun botul”.<\/p>\n V\u0103rs\u0103torul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Da dac\u0103 totu\u015fi ce \u00eenv\u0103\u0163\u0103m noi la \u015fcoal\u0103 e un rudiment de cunoa\u015ftere limitat de nivelul nostru precar de \u00een\u0163elegere? Dac\u0103 suntem plasa\u0163i de fapt \u00eentr-o cutie a limit\u0103rilor, care mai mult ne \u00eenchide, dec\u00e2t ne desc\u0103tu\u015feaz\u0103 intelectual? Noroc c\u0103 am trei prieteni, to\u0163i cu ochelari, \u015fi putem dezbate \u00een pauz\u0103 chestia asta.”<\/p>\n Pe\u015ftii\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Iar m\u0103 \u00eentorc \u00een colc\u0103iala aia de b\u00e2rfe \u015fi r\u0103ut\u0103\u0163i, unde toat\u0103 lumea m\u0103 prive\u015fte chior\u00e2\u015f \u015fi nimeni nu m\u0103 \u00een\u0163elege. \u0162in minte \u015fi acum cum anul trecut, \u00een prima zi de \u015fcoal\u0103, Gigel mi-a zis “Ce ur\u00e2t\u0103 e\u015fti” \u015fi Getu\u0163a a zis “Rochia aia e de la second hand, drag\u0103?”. Am sim\u0163it c\u0103 mor pe interior. Cum po\u0163i tr\u0103i \u00eentre asemenea mon\u015ftri lipsi\u0163i de empatie? \u015ecoala e un chin, \u015fcoala e un infern. Oameni r\u0103i \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 univers interior. Inventa\u0163i cipul cu materie \u015fcolar\u0103 pe care \u0163i-l implantezi \u015fi \u015ftii deja tot, s\u0103 scap de to\u0163i criminalii \u0103\u015ftia cu s\u00e2nge rece, c\u0103 nu mai supooort. Am acas\u0103 un poster cu doamna Firea. De c\u00e2te ori mai sufl\u0103 un v\u00e2nt rece \u015fi \u00eenchide \u015fcolile, \u00eei pun o lum\u00e2nare.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n *** ***<\/p>\n Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" N-am scris cam de multicel un horoscop a la Lorena Lupu, \u015fi cred c\u0103 \u00eenceputul \u015fcolii e momentul perfect pentru asta. A se nota:...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12815,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/astro.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20386","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20386"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20386\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20387,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20386\/revisions\/20387"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12815"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20386"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20386"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20386"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n