{"id":2044,"date":"2010-02-11T13:57:18","date_gmt":"2010-02-11T10:57:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=2044"},"modified":"2010-02-11T13:57:18","modified_gmt":"2010-02-11T10:57:18","slug":"spiritul-lui-jackson-contraataca","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/spiritul-lui-jackson-contraataca\/","title":{"rendered":"Spiritul lui Jackson contraatac\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Michael Jackson e<a href=\"http:\/\/timesofindia.indiatimes.com\/world\/uk\/Jacksons-spirit-seeks-apology-from-ex-wife\/articleshow\/5559894.cms\"> printre noi<\/a>. B\u00e2ntuie nelini\u015ftit, vizit\u00e2nd b\u0103bu\u0163e \u015fi orfelinate. Poate fi invocat, dac\u0103 ai pahare de cristal cu picior lung, serie complet\u0103, \u015fi dac\u0103 \u00eel invoci av\u00e2nd la mas\u0103 o virgin\u0103, un om care crede \u00een Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun, un posesor de ochi mari, alba\u015ftri \u015fi patru pensionari ferici\u0163i. Eu sunt virgin\u0103, cred \u00een Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun, am lentile de contact (deci se pun!) \u015fi o damigean\u0103 de \u0163uic\u0103 autentic\u0103 din zona R\u0103g\u0103\u0163enilor-de-Deal, din prune brum\u0103rii suflate bl\u00e2nd de un v\u00e2nticel din est, deci m\u0103 calific. Buuuuon.<\/p>\n<p>I-am adunat pe nea Costel, nea Gigel, nea Marcel \u015fi pe tanti Florica (s\u0103 nu m\u0103 violeze cei trei men\u0163iona\u0163i anterior, sub efectul irezistibil al \u0163uicii), am scos paharele serie complet\u0103, am stins luminile \u015fi ne-am a\u015fezat \u00een jurul mesei cu palmele \u00een jos. Apoi s-a remarcat c\u0103 eram doar cinci \u015fi paharele serie complet\u0103 erau \u015fase.<br \/>\n-P\u0103i hai s\u0103 lu\u0103m pe cine vine, a propus nea Costel.<br \/>\nCorect. Dar nu venea nimeni. Sear\u0103 fiind, toat\u0103 lumea pleca. Pe la cluburi, discoteci, maneloteci, party-uri de fi\u0163e, ceain\u0103rii. Apoi am remarcat un taxi care a\u015ftepta \u00een fa\u0163a blocului.<br \/>\n-Pe cine a\u015ftepta\u0163i?<br \/>\n-Pe domni\u015foara Arabela B\u00e2rg\u0103u, vecina dvs.<br \/>\n-Ah, domni\u015foara B\u00e2rg\u0103u nu mai vine, am min\u0163it eu, \u00een timp de colegii mei de spiritism o sechestrau pe numita \u015fi o \u00eendesau \u00een usc\u0103toria de rufe. Nu vre\u0163i s\u0103-l invoca\u0163i pe Michael Jackson cu noi? <!--more--><br \/>\n-Nu, domni\u015foar\u0103!! Una, io muncesc \u015fi dou\u0103, sunt rocker din tat\u0103-n fiu! Mai bine \u00eel invoc\u0103m pe James Hetfield.<br \/>\n-Dar Hetfield tr\u0103ie\u015fte.<br \/>\n-P\u0103i vede\u0163i. Nu v\u0103 pot ajuta.<br \/>\n\u015ei a demarat \u00een tromb\u0103.<br \/>\n-Ce ne facem? ne-am sc\u0103rpinat noi \u00een cap. Apoi tanti Florica a s\u0103rit \u00een sus, cre\u00e2nd un seism neprev\u0103zut de exper\u0163i, care a f\u0103cut \u015ftiri pe la toate televiziunile Europei de Est.<br \/>\n-Arabela B\u00e2rg\u0103u!<br \/>\n-Da.<br \/>\nDe cum am dezlegat-o, Arabela a \u00eenceput s\u0103 \u0163ipe:<br \/>\n-Ce-i asta?? Ce-i asta??? Eu am sex de f\u0103cut \u00een seara asta, nu stau s\u0103 umblu dup\u0103 michaeljacksoni mor\u0163i s\u0103 le iau potcoavele! Am plecat!! Taxiiii! Taxiiiiiiii!<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei a\u015fa am ratat s\u0103 invoc\u0103m spiritul lui Michael Jackson. Cine \u015ftie ce ar fi avut s\u0103 ne spun\u0103. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Michael Jackson e printre noi. B\u00e2ntuie nelini\u015ftit, vizit\u00e2nd b\u0103bu\u0163e \u015fi orfelinate. Poate fi invocat, dac\u0103 ai pahare de cristal cu picior lung, serie complet\u0103,&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2044","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2044"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2044\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}