{"id":20493,"date":"2020-10-04T09:51:30","date_gmt":"2020-10-04T06:51:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20493"},"modified":"2020-10-04T09:51:30","modified_gmt":"2020-10-04T06:51:30","slug":"cum-te-comporti-cu-un-barbat-suparat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cum-te-comporti-cu-un-barbat-suparat\/","title":{"rendered":"Cum te compor\u0163i cu un b\u0103rbat sup\u0103rat"},"content":{"rendered":"

Un gigel a citit articolul meu Cum te compor\u0163i cu o femeie sup\u0103rat\u0103<\/strong><\/a> \u015fi a trimis un mesaj: A\u015ftept s\u0103 scrii \u015fi cum te compor\u0163i cu un b\u0103rbat sup\u0103rat. Eu i-am r\u0103spuns cum r\u0103spund mereu oamenilot cu a\u015ftept\u0103ri: \u015ei eu a\u015ftept cu ner\u0103bdare dona\u0163ii pe blog de la cei care a\u015fteapt\u0103 s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 ce s\u0103 scriu.<\/p>\n

\u00cen secunda urm\u0103toare a venit notificare de la paypal. 100 de euro.<\/p>\n

OK, domnule gigel, v\u0103d c\u0103 nu glumi\u0163i c\u00e2nd vre\u0163i ceva, drept care,\u00a0 e pl\u0103cerea mea s\u0103 tratez subiectul dorit de dvs., s\u0103 v\u0103 \u0163in\u0103 preamilostivul Iehova obiceiul \u015fi s\u0103 se contamineze \u015fi al\u0163ii cu el.<\/p>\n

So, ladies and gentlemen, azi avem articol sponsorizat, \u015fi anume, cum te compor\u0163i cu un b\u0103rbat sup\u0103rat.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Exact ca femeile, b\u0103rba\u0163ii se \u00eempart \u00een dou\u0103 categorii: cei sup\u0103ra\u0163i pe bun\u0103 dreptate \u015fi cei care nu pot suferi c\u0103 ai succes \u00een via\u0163\u0103 \u015fi caut\u0103 s\u0103 te reduc\u0103 la nivelul lor. Dar, hai s\u0103 presupunem c\u0103 toate suntem fete de\u015ftepte, c\u0103 nu ne \u00eencurc\u0103m cu genul de tembel care se r\u0103zbun\u0103 pe tine c\u0103 e el prost, \u015fi c\u0103 avem de a face cu un b\u0103rbat ok \u015fi cu capul pe umeri, care are un motiv legitim de sup\u0103rare.<\/p>\n

\u015etiu trei modalit\u0103\u0163i prin care se manifest\u0103 sup\u0103rarea masculin\u0103:<\/p>\n

– remarcile iritante na\u015fpa<\/p>\n

– urlatul de aude \u015fi cartierul vecin<\/p>\n

– t\u0103cerea bosumflar\u0103 \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u0163\u00e2nat\u0103.<\/p>\n

Exact ca la femei, acest comportament te poate viza fie c\u0103 ai gre\u015fit tu ceva, fie c\u0103 omul a fost respins la un interviu de job, sau la un date pe Tinder (doar nu crezi c\u0103 te f doar pe tine, hihi) sau nu i-au dat m\u0103rirea de salariu promis\u0103.<\/p>\n

Taman de aceea, prima \u00eentrebare trebuie s\u0103 fie cea care stabile\u015fte c\u0103 ai remarcat anomalia \u015fi totodat\u0103, seteaz\u0103 c\u0103 acest comportament nu e ok:<\/p>\n

Ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

F\u0103r\u0103 aoleu, f\u0103r\u0103 vai, F\u0103nele, dar cum po\u0163i, f\u0103r\u0103 muiereal\u0103 \u00een gol. C\u00e2nd un tip e nervos, astea au “darul” s\u0103-l enerveze cu 500% mai mult.<\/p>\n

\u00centrebarea simpl\u0103, pe un ton omenesc normal, “Ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat” transmite c\u0103 e\u015fti acolo \u015fi vrei s\u0103 afli.<\/p>\n

Versiunea a)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i spune.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ascul\u0163i f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eentrerupi, c\u0103 de obicei un b\u0103rbat care poveste\u015fte o problem\u0103 nu vrea mil\u0103 \u015fi oioioi, ci s\u0103 g\u0103si\u0163i o solu\u0163ie simpl\u0103 \u015fi eficient\u0103. Dup\u0103 ce a terminat \u015fi te asiguri c\u0103 ai \u00een\u0163eles exact ce \u015fi cum, ai urm\u0103toarele op\u0163iuni:<\/p>\n

-Dac\u0103 ai f\u0103cut tu ceva gre\u015fit, \u00eei ceri scuze \u015fi apoi, presupun\u00e2nd c\u0103 e boufrendu’ t\u0103u, \u00eel fx\u0163i. Te iart\u0103 mai repede.<\/p>\n

-A \u00een\u0163eles el gre\u015fit ceva ce era cu totul nevinovat. \u00cei explici calm \u015fi la obiect ce a \u00een\u0163eles gre\u015fit \u015fi ce f\u0103ceai tu de fapt, apoi \u00eei zici c\u0103 lua\u0163i o pauz\u0103 de discu\u0163ie s\u0103-i dai timp s\u0103 se pun\u0103 \u00een ipostaza ta, cu motiva\u0163iile tale, iar dac\u0103 \u00eei iese \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i arat\u0103 c\u0103 a \u00een\u0163eles, \u00eel felici\u0163i pentru abilitatea de a vedea lucrurile din unghiuri diverse \u015fi, dac\u0103 e boufrendu’ t\u0103u, \u00eel fx\u0163i. \u00cel ajut\u0103 s\u0103 se transpun\u0103 mai u\u015for data viitoare.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 e bou \u015fi o refuz\u0103 s\u0103 se pun\u0103 \u00een situa\u0163ia ta, \u015fi ai senza\u0163ia c\u0103 discuta\u0163i \u00een bucl\u0103, \u00eei spui c\u0103 tu dormi pe canapea seara asta, c\u0103 \u0163i se pare c\u0103 are nevoie de timp de reflectat. \u015ei nu-l fx\u0163i.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 sup\u0103rarea lui nu are leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu tine, ci cu boul \u0103la de la munc\u0103, vaca de la casting sau oricine altcineva, \u00eel \u00eencurajezi, \u00eel iei \u00een bra\u0163e \u015fi, presupun\u00e2nd c\u0103 e boufrendu t\u0103u, \u00eel fx\u0163i. Sexul are un dar miraculos de a lini\u015fti b\u0103rba\u0163i nervo\u015fi.<\/p>\n

Versiunea b)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nimic!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

OK, dac\u0103 nu e nimic, eu te voi l\u0103sa frumos \u00een pace \u015fi c\u00e2nd va fi ceva, m\u0103 anun\u0163i. Nu cazi \u00een capcana”hai, iubi, dar te rog frumos, spune”, c\u0103 nu pui dec\u00e2t paie pe foc.<\/p>\n

Bine, pui paie pe foc \u015fi cu versiunea mea, dar m\u0103car le pui cu demnitatea intact\u0103 \u015fi \u00eel \u00eenve\u0163i c\u0103 silent treatment nu \u0163ine cu tine \u015fi nu te panicheaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

M\u0103car la cin\u0103, c\u00e2nd i se face foame, tot deschide gura, m\u0103car s\u0103 te \u00eentrebe ce e de m\u00e2ncare. Tu \u00eei po\u0163i indica pe t\u0103cute frigiderul \u015fi \u00eel la\u015fi s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce singur, ca s\u0103-i aplici propriul medicament. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, o s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103.<\/p>\n

Versiunea c)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Campionatul de urlat<\/strong><\/p>\n

Un b\u0103rbat care url\u0103 e un spectacol destul de \u00eensp\u0103m\u00e2nt\u0103tor, dac\u0103 nu are loc pe scena unui stadion \u015fi nu e cu amplificare. Taman de aceea, tu trebuie s\u0103 ar\u0103\u0163i c\u0103 nu te sperie.<\/p>\n

“O s\u0103 te rog s\u0103 vorbe\u015fti normal cu mine”, \u00eei spui calm, controlat, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 faci concurs de urlat. Nu prea ai cum. Are cavitatea toracic\u0103 mai mare dec\u00e2t a ta \u015fi implicit url\u0103 mai r\u0103sun\u0103tor.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 te ignor\u0103, \u00eei spui:<\/p>\n

“Cu mine nu se vorbe\u015fte a\u015fa, eu ies acum din \u00eenc\u0103pere \u015fi c\u00e2nd e\u015fti preg\u0103tit s\u0103 vorbim normal, m\u0103 anun\u0163i”.<\/p>\n

De ce nu te angajezi \u00eentr-o ceart\u0103 cu un tip dezl\u0103n\u0163uit?<\/p>\n

Pentru c\u0103, pe de o parte, nu ai cum s\u0103 faci apel la logic\u0103 \u015fi ra\u0163iune, c\u0103 \u00een acel moment nu le are, \u015fi pe de alta, ri\u015fti s\u0103 te enervezi \u015fi tu, \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i spun eu: nu vrei s\u0103 v\u0103 bate\u0163i parte \u00een parte. Deschizi o cutie a Pandorei care e greu de \u00eenchis la loc.<\/p>\n

Pur \u015fi simplu refuzi dialogul pe acel ton \u015fi a\u015ftep\u0163i s\u0103 se calmeze. Dac\u0103 sta\u0163i \u00een domicilii diferite, chiar iei un Uber – taxi – ma\u015fina ta \u015fi pleci acas\u0103.<\/p>\n

Versiunea d)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cencepe s\u0103 dea replici pasiv agresive, mi\u015ftoc\u0103reli ur\u00e2te \u015fi atitudine iritant\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pleci pur \u015fi simplu. Sau te duci \u00een alt\u0103 camer\u0103. “Vorbim c\u00e2nd e\u015fti preg\u0103tit s\u0103 vorbim ca doi adul\u0163i”.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 un tip dezl\u0103n\u0163uit \u015fi \u00een culmea furiei te poate lovi fizic, un tip care e \u00een moodul \u0103sta pus pe har\u0163\u0103 verbal\u0103 nasoal\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i va spune numai r\u0103ut\u0103\u0163i \u015fi numai mizerii, \u015fi nu vei putea transmite ce ai tu de spus, c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i va r\u0103spunde tot \u00een zeflemea. De aceea, te prinzi rapid c\u0103 ba\u0163i la o u\u015f\u0103 \u00eenchis\u0103 \u015fi refuzi s\u0103 te \u00eenscrii la concursul de toxicitate. Nu de alta, dar de la schimb de replici aiurea \u015fi nedrepte se ajunge rapid ca nimic s\u0103 nu mai fie valid \u015fi ca boundaries s\u0103 nu mai existe, \u015fi de aici, traseul la “cuplul de demen\u0163i care se porc\u0103iesc sear\u0103 de sear\u0103”, respectiv la “divor\u0163 ur\u00e2t cu partaj” vine de la sine.<\/p>\n

Ce anume\u00a0nu faci, sub nici o form\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

A) Muiereal\u0103 miloag\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u0103la are m\u0103car un s\u00e2mbure de narcisism sau poten\u0163ial abuziv \u00een el, muiereala miloag\u0103 de la tine, mai ales dac\u0103 n-ai f\u0103cut nimic gre\u015fit, va fi dovada clar\u0103 c\u0103 a g\u0103sit victima perfect\u0103. Totodat\u0103, muiereala miloag\u0103 \u00eei va spune c\u0103 nu ai limite ferm setate \u015fi c\u0103 poate folosi agresivitatea \u015fi violen\u0163a ca arm\u0103 \u00eempotriva ta, de c\u00e2te ori nu-i convine ceva.<\/p>\n

B) S\u0103 te dai tu mai sup\u0103rat\u0103 dec\u00e2t el\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

E enervant \u015fi c\u00e2nd e\u015fti tu sup\u0103rat\u0103, e la fel de enervant c\u00e2nd e el sup\u0103rat. Nu fi ceea ce dete\u015fti la al\u0163ii. Las\u0103-l s\u0103 zic\u0103 ce are, fii atent\u0103 \u015fi vezi dac\u0103 are leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu tine sau nu, iar dac\u0103 are, la ce compromis pute\u0163i ajunge.<\/p>\n

C) Muiereal\u0103 comp\u0103timitoare.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

“vai, s\u0103racu de tine, mam\u0103, ce \u0163i-au f\u0103cut”.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd un b\u0103rbat le aude pe astea, nu proceseaz\u0103 compasiunea din tonul t\u0103u. Tot ce aude de la tine e c\u0103 are pxla mic\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103 termin\u0103 repede. Singura comp\u0103timire de care are nevoie e s\u0103-l ascul\u0163i atent, s\u0103-i zici “las\u0103, trecem noi \u015fi prin asta” \u015fi s\u0103-l fx\u0163i p\u00e2n\u0103 rupi patul.<\/p>\n

D) Logic\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd e nervos.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Noi, brainiacs, o \u00een\u0163elegem mai greu, dar c\u00e2nd un om clocote\u015fte de draci, nu poate urm\u0103ri firul unui ra\u0163ionament logic. Dovad\u0103. \u00cencearc\u0103 s\u0103 cite\u015fti Critica ra\u0163iunii pure de Immanuel Kant cu o zi \u00eenainte de ciclu.<\/p>\n

Las\u0103-l s\u0103 se calmeze \u015fi discu\u0163i logic dup\u0103.<\/p>\n

E) Bocete \u015fi lacrimi.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Astea \u00eel scot \u015fi mai tare din s\u0103rite \u015fi \u00eel fac defensiv. Rezerv\u0103-le pentru c\u00e2nd e el calm. Pe moment, d\u0103-i spa\u0163iu s\u0103-\u015fi fac\u0103 el num\u0103rul.<\/p>\n

F) Minciuni<\/strong><\/p>\n

Astea sunt de departe cele mai enervante. Mai bine \u00eei zici: “Da, b\u0103i, l-am fxtut \u015fi pe Vasile” \u015fi \u00eel la\u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 replic\u0103, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 te juri c\u0103 nu, c\u00e2nd el \u015ftie sigur c\u0103 da.<\/p>\n

Orice b\u0103rbat cu minimum un neuron activ va respecta mai mult o femeie care-i spune un adev\u0103r incomod dec\u00e2t pe una care-i insult\u0103 inteligen\u0163a cu vr\u0103jeli proaste. Iar restul nu ne intereseaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

G) S\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103-i controlezi nervii.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

E extrem de iritant s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103-i spui altuia ce are voie s\u0103 simt\u0103 \u015fi ce nu. Dac\u0103 e furios, nervos, sup\u0103rat, tot ce po\u0163i s\u0103 faci e s\u0103 accep\u0163i, s\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegi \u015fi s\u0103 la\u015fi omul \u00een pace. Sau dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 faci ceva. \u00een loc de o predic\u0103 despre cum n-ar trebui s\u0103 simt\u0103 ceea ce simte, d\u0103-i o bere rece de la frigider.<\/p>\n

E echivalentul ciocolatei pentru femei sup\u0103rate.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

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Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Un gigel a citit articolul meu Cum te compor\u0163i cu o femeie sup\u0103rat\u0103 \u015fi a trimis un mesaj: A\u015ftept s\u0103 scrii \u015fi cum te...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20494,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/gerard-butler-as-king-leonidas-in-300.jpg?fit=480%2C319&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20493"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20493\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20497,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20493\/revisions\/20497"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}