Cei mai mul\u021bi oameni normali \u00ee\u0219i trateaz\u0103 r\u0103celile cu paracetamol \u0219i ceai de l\u0103m\u00e2ie, bolesc dou\u0103 zile \u0219i nu dau bani la doctor pentru acela\u0219i lucru.<\/p>\n
Dar eu am\u00a0 un lung istoric de rinit\u0103 alergic\u0103. \u0218i de nenum\u0103rate ori, diver\u0219i speciali\u0219ti m-au suspectat ba de sinuzit\u0103, ba de meningit\u0103, \u0219i au solicitat exudat nazal \u0219i faringian. \u0218i dac\u0103 la \u0103la faringian ai echivalente \u00een via\u021ba intim\u0103 care te preg\u0103tesc c\u00e2t de c\u00e2t (wink – wink), senza\u021bia extrem\u0103 de disconfort pe care \u021bi-o st\u00e2rne\u0219te exudatul nazal nu se compar\u0103 dec\u00e2t, poate, cu prima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd faci sex anal. Pentru c\u0103 sunt g\u0103uri pe care natura le-a creat specific pentru alte scopuri. \u0218i numai perversitatea inerent\u0103 a fiin\u021bei umane a decis c\u0103 merit\u0103 penetrate.<\/p>\n
Acest gen de disconfort extrem, specific exudatului nazal, creeaz\u0103 legende de genul:<\/p>\n
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Acum, dac\u0103 tu te agi\u021bi ca prostul \u00een timp ce medicul sau asistentul caut\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi ia o mostr\u0103 din celulele \u0219i lichidele aflate \u00een partea superioar\u0103 a tractului nazal, probabil c\u0103 te r\u0103ne\u0219ti. Dar dac\u0103 te agi\u021bi ca prostul \u00een timp ce dentistul \u00ee\u021bi cur\u0103\u021b\u0103 o carie, p\u0103\u021be\u0219ti acela\u0219i lucru. Dac\u0103 te agi\u0163i ca prostul \u00een timp ce proctologul \u00ee\u0163i bag\u0103 un deget \u00een… tr\u0103ie\u015fti orgasmul vie\u0163ii tale.<\/p>\n
Nu e vina omului care caut\u0103 s\u0103-\u0219i fac\u0103 jobul, e vina ta c\u0103 nu-l la\u0219i.<\/p>\n
Spre deosebire, \u00eens\u0103, de instrumentele stomatologice, aici vorbim de un b\u0103\u021b de plastic moale cu un pic de vat\u0103 la cap\u0103t. \u0218ansa lui de a penetra whatever barier\u0103 e minim\u0103. \u0218i \u00een general, \u021bi se introduce extrem de lent \u0219i lin, tocmai pentru a nu o lua pe gaura gre\u0219it\u0103.<\/p>\n
Stai cuminte, nu te foi, las\u0103-i s\u0103-\u0219i ia mostra \u0219i e\u0219ti good to go \u00een trei secunde.<\/p>\n
Prin analize, oamenii pot stabili nu doar dac\u0103 ai covid, ci orice alt tip de virus, bacterie, inflama\u021bie (inclusiv stafilococ auriu.)<\/p>\n
Deci, nu, popor, exudatul nazal nu e un procedeu misterios creat special de Soros s\u0103 te persecute pe tine.<\/p>\n
\u0218i da, “apar simptome dup\u0103”. Dar nu simptome de Covid. De obicei, ai un puseu de str\u0103nut \u015fi muci, pentru c\u0103 te g\u00e2dil\u0103 vata \u00een nas. Dup\u0103 ce ie\u015fi din cabinetul doctorului \u015fi te plimbi cinci minute, trece ca \u015fi cum n-ar fi fost.<\/p>\n
Acum, legat de desenul \u0103sta cu gri. M\u0103 \u00eentreb de ce n-au mers cu imagina\u0163ia mai departe.<\/p>\n
Vede\u0163i cum plasticul \u0103la cu vat\u0103 din desenul conspira\u0163ioni\u015ftilor trece prin mu\u015fchi \u015fi cartilagii ca steagul rom\u00e2nesc pe cr\u00e2ncena redut\u0103? De ce s\u0103 nu penetrezi \u015fi creierul?<\/p>\n
Apoi spui c\u0103 be\u0163iga\u015ful era de fapt dotat cu 5G \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i insufl\u0103 o nou\u0103 identitate: aceea de sclav al vestului decadent \u015fi al consumerismului dezl\u0103n\u0163uit. (Vede\u0163i, sunt deja bun\u0103 la asta, care vrei teorii covidioate \u015fi ai buget ca pentru Lorena Lupu, apeleaz\u0103 cu \u00eencredere.)<\/p>\n
P\u00e2n\u0103 una alta, exudatul nazal e o procedur\u0103 banal\u0103, relativ frecvent \u00eent\u00e2lnit\u0103 de cei cu probleme ORL. Am avut vreo cinci \u00eenainte de Covid \u015fi, iat\u0103, tr\u0103iesc.<\/p>\n
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***<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
*** ***<\/p>\n Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" M\u0103 rog, unii sunt preten\u021bio\u0219i \u0219i \u00eel scriu exsudat, dar nu e ca \u0219i cum a fost sudat \u00eenainte \u0219i acum l-au dat jos,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20536,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/np_swab.jpg?fit=263%2C238&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20535","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20535"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20535\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20538,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20535\/revisions\/20538"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20536"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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