\u00cen general, femeile care gre\u015fesc sunt prea orgolioase s\u0103 recunoasc\u0103 faptul c\u0103 au gre\u015fit. De aici \u015fi desp\u0103r\u0163irile.<\/p>\n
Un mod de a re\u00eendr\u0103gosti un b\u0103rbat de tine e s\u0103 \u00eel vezi fa\u0163\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103, s\u0103 \u00eei spui “Uite, \u015ftiu c\u0103 nu va mai fi nimic \u00eentre noi, dar vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 ier\u0163i pentru…”. \u015ei \u00een\u015firi tot ce l-a r\u0103nit din ceea ce ai f\u0103cut.<\/p>\n
Sunt at\u00e2t de rare femeile care \u00ee\u015fi cer scuze, \u015fi arat\u0103 c\u0103 au \u00een\u0163eles exact ce au gre\u015fit, c\u0103 \u0103la va r\u0103m\u00e2ne n\u0103uc \u015fi vag t\u00e2mp. \u00cenc\u0103 nu am cunoscut b\u0103rbat ok, care s\u0103 nu zic\u0103: da, b\u0103i, ok, am fost tineri \u015fi pro\u015fti, hai s\u0103 trecem peste.<\/p>\n
\u00cen timp ce \u00ee\u0163i ceri iertare, nu bagi aluzii c\u0103 vrei s\u0103 te \u00eempaci, sau s\u0103 te combini din nou cu el, sau orice altceva de genul. Nu arde etape. Dac\u0103 \u0103la vede c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i ceri iertare \u015fi \u00een secunda a doua deja \u00eel ceri de b\u0103rbat, tot orgoliul lui r\u0103nit de prima desp\u0103r\u0163ire va izbucni precum un vulcan devenit brusc activ. Nu, nene. \u00cei ob\u0163ii iertarea \u00een cel mai pur mod cu putin\u0163\u0103, \u015fi nu vrei dec\u00e2t absolvire de p\u0103cate.<\/p>\n
Peniten\u0163a e sexy.<\/p>\n
Exist\u0103 \u0219ansa ca simpla cerere de iertare s\u0103 \u00eel fac\u0103 s\u0103 te vrea \u00eenapoi exact \u00een secunda aia. A\u0219a cum exist\u0103 \u0219ansa s\u0103 te bage \u00een origini p\u00e2n\u0103 la maimu\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n
S\u0103 presupunem c\u0103 omul nu e ranchiunos – nu ne uit\u0103m la genul \u0103la – \u0219i te iart\u0103. Urm\u0103torul pas este:<\/p>\n
2. Vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 revan\u0219ez fa\u021b\u0103 de tine. Vrei s\u0103 fim prieteni?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n De ce prieteni, Loreno, \u0219i nu iubi\u021bi s\u0103lbatici \u0219i dezl\u0103n\u021bui\u021bi pe masa din buc\u0103t\u0103rie?<\/p>\n Pentru c\u0103, dac\u0103 ai r\u0103nit un om \u0219i l-ai p\u0103r\u0103sit, decizia asta trebuie s\u0103 fie a lui, nu a ta. S\u0103 te \u00eentorci \u00eenapoi s\u0103 pretinzi s\u0103 fie iar cu tine ca \u0219i cum\u00a0 ceea ce i-ai f\u0103cut nu s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat e o dovad\u0103 de misecuvenism.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00cen plus, b\u0103rba\u021bii, chiar \u0219i cei mai buni, sunt condu\u0219i de ego. Nu e un lucru r\u0103u. \u00cenainte de crearea instrumentelor moderne care s\u0103 ne simplifice via\u021ba, traiul era greu. Plus s\u0103 cre\u0219ti \u0219i copii. C\u00e2te cincisprezece, c\u0103 nu exista contracep\u021bie. Plus c\u0103 de c\u00e2te ori ap\u0103rea \u00een zare alt trib, \u0103ia atentau direct la gr\u00e2ul \u0219i carnea ta, \u0219i trebuia s\u0103 la\u0219i tot ce f\u0103ceai \u00een secunda aia, s\u0103 te iei la b\u0103taie. F\u0103r\u0103 ego, omenirea n-ar fi supravie\u021buit.<\/p>\n Acum \u00eens\u0103, acest ego e cel r\u0103nit de fapta ta \u0219i va fi cel care \u00eel va sili s\u0103-\u021bi dea peste nas, chiar dac\u0103 el te vrea de fapt \u00eenapoi. Taman de aceea, tehnica hai-s\u0103-fim-prieteni e un mod de a reintra \u00een intimitatea lui \u0219i a face s\u0103 par\u0103 c\u0103 e ideea lui s\u0103 v\u0103 recombina\u021bi.<\/p>\n 3. Vede\u021bi-v\u0103 cu regularitate.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Acum, c\u0103 sunte\u021bi prieteni, po\u021bi ini\u021bia tu ie\u0219iri \u00een ora\u0219 (yeah, right, mai ales acum, c\u0103 restaurantele sunt \u00eenchise), seara cl\u0103titelor, “hai s\u0103 mergem la sal\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103 c\u0103 sunt o vac\u0103 lene\u015f\u0103 \u015fi singur\u0103 nu m\u0103 motivez”, etc.<\/p>\n Esen\u0163ial e s\u0103\u00a0nu exagerezi cu pis\u0103logeala.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u015eti\u0163i de ce \u00eenceteaz\u0103 unii b\u0103rba\u0163i s\u0103 asculte? Pentru c\u0103 noi nu ne prindem c\u00e2nd s\u0103 t\u0103cem. Ieri, \u00een metrou, am v\u0103zut urm\u0103toarea scen\u0103. Un ficior se juca chestii pe mobil. Mobil mare, frumos, ultim r\u0103cnet. \u00cel sun\u0103 o muiere. N-avea c\u0103\u015fti, a trebuit s\u0103 duc\u0103 mobilul la ureche: “Da, \u015etefania. Da, ok. \u0102h\u0103. Da, biiine, p\u0103i…”<\/p>\n C\u00e2nd auzi acel “bine, p\u0103i…”, \u015ftii c\u0103 \u0103la n-are chef de vorb\u0103 \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i consumi puncte de atractivitate. E “bine, p\u0103i haipa”, dar e \u0103la educat.<\/p>\n “Da, \u015etefania, am \u00een\u0163eles. OK, bine, bine. Da, m\u0103i, biine”.<\/p>\n Ceea ce ar fi trebuit s\u0103 fie o conversa\u0163ie de dou\u0103 minute se lungea p\u00e2n\u0103 la pxla calului, iar ficiorul tot c\u0103uta un mod de a plasa un punct. Nu pe “i”, ci la final de propozi\u0163ie, \u015fi s\u0103 dea check out. \u015etefania, nimic. Bla bla bla bla bla. Acum nu \u015ftiu \u00een ce rela\u0163ie de amor era t\u00e2n\u0103rul cu numita \u015etefania, dar, dup\u0103 ce a reu\u015fit s\u0103 scape de ea pe la Unirii (pistonajul a \u00eenceput la Titan), expresia de infinit\u0103 u\u015furare de pe fa\u0163a lui mi-a spus c\u0103 \u00een scurt timp, acel num\u0103r nu va mai exista \u00een acea agend\u0103.<\/p>\n Fetelor, nu fi\u0163i \u015etefania. Sim\u0163i\u0163i din tonul interlocutorului c\u00e2nd n-are chef de basme \u015fi, dac\u0103 l-a\u0163i sunat cu scop precis (“ni s-a terminat laptele, ia \u015fi tu o cutie” s\u0103 zicem), comunica\u0163i asta, eventual \u00eel \u00eentreba\u0163i ce mai face \u015fi l\u0103sa\u0163i-l \u00een plata Domnului. Cu c\u00e2t \u00eel pfoote\u0163i mai pu\u0163in la cap, cu at\u00e2t \u0103la o s\u0103 vrea mai mult s\u0103 v\u0103 pfoot\u0103 unde e cazul. \u015ei viceversa.<\/p>\n Prietenia de reparat poduri trebuie s\u0103 fie, cu at\u00e2t mai mult, neintruziv\u0103 \u015fi neinvaziv\u0103. D\u0103-i add \u00eenapoi pe social media, iar dac\u0103 \u0163i-e dor de el, e suficient s\u0103 postezi o foto dr\u0103gu\u0163\u0103 cu tine. Eventual \u00eembr\u0103cat\u0103 \u00een ceva care \u00eei aminte\u015fte lui de diverse. B\u0103rba\u0163ii sunt stimula\u0163i de vizual (de aceea cer nuduri). Ob\u0163ii mult mai mult\u0103 nostalgie \u015fi “ah, ce mi\u015fto era c\u00e2nd” cu o poz\u0103 pe care o vede in his own rhythm, c\u00e2nd scrolleaz\u0103 feedul, dec\u00e2t cu un apel \u00eentr-un moment neinspirat. \u00centre \u015etefania care l-a sunat s\u0103-l frece la melodie lung \u015fi prost, \u015fi Hortensia, s\u0103 zicem, care s-a machiat frumos \u015fi a postat un selfie pe Instagram, \u0103la o s\u0103 se culce \u00een seara aia cu g\u00e2ndul la Hortensia, nu la \u015etefania. De\u015fi \u015etefania a muncit mai mult.<\/p>\n Acum, c\u0103 a\u0163i redevenit prieteni, arat\u0103-i mult\u0103 afec\u0163iune fizic\u0103. \u015ei men\u0163ine-o \u00een limitele decen\u0163ei.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n C\u00e2nd v\u0103 vede\u0163i, \u00eembr\u0103\u0163i\u015feaz\u0103-l. C\u00e2nd face o glum\u0103 care te amuz\u0103, m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie-l pe um\u0103r. C\u00e2nd merge\u0163i undeva \u00eempreun\u0103, ia-l de bra\u0163. Astea sunt gesturi amicale, \u00een sine, nu te poate raporta nimeni la Poli\u0163ie pentru h\u0103r\u0163uire sexual\u0103 cu ele, dar au o intens\u0103 for\u0163\u0103 de evocare a c\u00e2t de frumos era c\u00e2nd v\u0103 iubea\u0163i.<\/p>\n Urm\u0103re\u015fte r\u0103spunsul lui fizic la astfel de tandre\u0163uri. Dac\u0103 se retrage sau evit\u0103. Dac\u0103, dimpotriv\u0103, coopereaz\u0103. Dac\u0103 st\u0103 pasiv. Dac\u0103, dimpotriv\u0103, data viitoare ini\u0163iaz\u0103 el. Asta \u00ee\u0163i spune dac\u0103 ai sau nu \u015fanse s\u0103 recucere\u015fti umanoidul.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 se retrage sau evit\u0103, e posibil s\u0103 nu te mai vrea deloc, sau e posibil s\u0103 fie \u00eenc\u0103 r\u0103nit emo\u0163ional. Nu insista. Nu-l\u00a0 mai atinge.<\/p>\n Poart\u0103 conversa\u0163ii cu miez\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Pe rom\u00e2ne\u015fte: pune \u00eentreb\u0103ri. Dar nu \u00eentreb\u0103ri din acelea obraznice din categoria “ce te f grija”, c\u0103 alea nu st\u00e2rnesc dec\u00e2t pofta de a pocni interlocutorul cu un \u015flap sub\u0163ire de plaj\u0103. \u00centreb\u0103ri din acelea calde \u015fi soft despre lucruri care-i plac. \u015ei care s\u0103 arate c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 \u015ftii ce \u00eei place, \u015fi c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i pas\u0103.<\/p>\n De exemplu, dac\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 \u00eei place fotbalul. S\u0103 zicem. O conversa\u0163ie relevant\u0103 despre fotbal, care s\u0103 arate c\u0103 ai b\u0103gat efort \u015fi te-ai documentat, e genul de gest care impresioneaz\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat. Faptul c\u0103 vii s\u0103 vezi meciul \u015fi te oferi s\u0103 iei o g\u0103leat\u0103 de aripioare picante de la KFC \u015fi c\u00e2teva beri \u00eei spune c\u0103 e\u015fti femeia al\u0103turi de care vrea s\u0103 \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2neasc\u0103.<\/p>\n Concentreaz\u0103-te s\u0103 oferi quality time de c\u00e2te ori v\u0103 vede\u0163i.<\/p>\n \u015ei cum am spus:<\/p>\n Las\u0103-l s\u0103 ini\u0163ieze el.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Eu nu cred c\u0103 \u00eentr-o rela\u0163ie nou\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 ini\u0163ieze b\u0103rbatul. Dimpotriv\u0103, dup\u0103 at\u00e2ta “metoo”, mi se pare mai corect s\u0103 ini\u0163ieze femeia, pentru c\u0103 a\u015fa \u015ftim sigur c\u0103 nu e viol. \u00cemi place s\u0103 ini\u0163iez \u015fi \u00eemi place s\u0103 fiu \u00een pozi\u0163ie de control.<\/p>\n DAR c\u00e2nd tu e\u015fti \u00een culp\u0103 \u015fi ba\u0163i la u\u015fa altuia cu basca \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 \u015fi cenu\u015f\u0103 \u00een cap, \u0103la trebuie s\u0103 decid\u0103 ce vrea, nu tu. A\u015fa e fair.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 ai f\u0103cut tot ce am \u00een\u015firat mai sus, adaptat la personalitatea \u015fi preferin\u0163ele tipului cu pricina, p\u00e2n\u0103 acum te-a luat \u00eenapoi \u015fi \u0163i-a \u015fi pus inelul pe deget. Desigur, dac\u0103 mai are vreo urm\u0103 de iubire pentru tine. Dac\u0103 nu, ghinion, ne\u015fans\u0103, de c\u00e2te ori gre\u015fim exist\u0103 \u015fi consecin\u0163e, dar m\u0103car ai reparat podul \u015fi ai l\u0103sat loc de bun\u0103 ziua.<\/p>\n Uneori, fo\u015ftii devin, \u00een timp, cei mai buni prieteni din via\u0163a omului.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol, sus\u0163ine site-ul cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n *** ***<\/p>\n Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Am avut un acest titlu \u00een po\u0219ta redac\u021biei. O cititoare respinsese un pe\u021bitor cam agresiv, apoi constatase c\u0103 omul, \u00een via\u021ba lui real\u0103, e...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20650,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/cuplu.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20648"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20648\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20651,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20648\/revisions\/20651"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n