{"id":20652,"date":"2020-10-26T10:35:28","date_gmt":"2020-10-26T07:35:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20652"},"modified":"2020-10-26T10:35:28","modified_gmt":"2020-10-26T07:35:28","slug":"activitati-anaf-in-plina-pandemie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/activitati-anaf-in-plina-pandemie\/","title":{"rendered":"Activit\u0103\u021bi ANAF \u00een plin\u0103 pandemie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Am un cunoscut foarte generos. Un b\u0103iat care sus\u021bine un num\u0103r at\u00e2t de impresionant de cauze nobile, \u00eenc\u00e2t te mai \u00eentrebi cum \u00eei r\u0103m\u00e2ne de o ciorb\u0103.<\/p>\n

Acum c\u00e2teva zile, b\u0103iatul \u0103sta a primit bilet de amor de la prietenul nostru al tuturor, ANAF.<\/p>\n

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Ca orice om care prime\u0219te genul \u0103sta de bile\u021bel, s-a speriat. Ce a f\u0103cut oare gre\u0219it? At\u00e2t de gre\u0219it, \u00eenc\u00e2t nu mergea trimis \u00een spa\u021biul privat virtual? Sau \u00een mail? Sau comunicat la telefon?<\/p>\n

Omul s-a dus la po\u0219t\u0103, s\u0103 vad\u0103 ce vrea ANAF de la sufletul lui. Matinal fiind, a ajuns la 9. Func\u021bionara s-a uitat dispre\u021buitor la bilet, apoi la infractorul nostru, apoi iar la bilet, \u0219i s-a r\u0103stit la el:<\/p>\n

-Auzi, domnule, dar tu \u0219tii s\u0103 cite\u0219ti?<\/p>\n

-Da, doamn\u0103, de ce? Nu e oficiul po\u0219tal corect?<\/p>\n

-Ce or\u0103 scrie acolo? 10. C\u00e2t e ceasul acum? 9. La revedere.<\/p>\n

Evident, \u00eentre 9 \u0219i 10 diminea\u021ba, n-a venit po\u0219t\u0103 nou\u0103, deci plicul era bine mersi acolo, \u0219i po\u0219ta plin\u0103 ochi, a\u0219a, ca de pandemie. De ce s\u0103 nu stai o or\u0103 \u00een gang bang, dac\u0103 are ANAF treab\u0103 cu tine?<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 vi se pare c\u0103 am \u0219ters dou\u0103 nume, e pentru c\u0103 de fapt chiar am f\u0103cut-o. \u0218i omul, \u0219i so\u021bia lui erau pe acela\u0219i aviz. Pas\u0103mite, p\u0103c\u0103tuiser\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103. Nu, min\u021bi porcoase, nu \u00een sensul \u0103la. \u00cen sensul \u0103la nu e p\u0103cat, c\u0103 au pus deja pirostriile. Ci se pare c\u0103 p\u0103c\u0103tuiser\u0103 fiscal \u00eempreun\u0103.<\/p>\n

Las\u0103, drag\u0103, zic eu, m\u0103car nu te-au pus pe mandat cu nevasta altuia, s\u0103 te v\u0103d atunci cum scoteai c\u0103ma\u0219a acas\u0103.<\/p>\n

Mbun. Dup\u0103 ce ia covid de la minimum 20 de persoane, \u00ee\u0219i ob\u021bine plicul lui \u0219i, cu insisten\u021be, rug\u0103min\u021bi, trafic de influen\u021b\u0103: “e de la ANAF, doamn\u0103, iar noi suntem c\u0103s\u0103tori\u0163i. Facem evaziune fiscal\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103” \u015fi pe al nevestei. Pleac\u0103, tremur\u00e2nd de team\u0103 c\u0103 aoleu, dac\u0103 au aflat de conturile lui secrete din paradisuri fiscale. Ajunge acas\u0103. S\u0103rut\u0103 pragul minunatei locuin\u0163e pe care o va p\u0103r\u0103si \u00een cur\u00e2nd, s\u0103 \u00eenfunde pu\u015fc\u0103ria ca un infractor ce este. (Paragraf ironic, gigel.) Se a\u015faz\u0103 pe un scaun, s\u0103 nu-l d\u0103r\u00e2me ve\u015ftile prea tare. Scaunul are fundul tare. Se a\u015faz\u0103 pe fotoliu. Nu, nu poate citi asemenea ve\u015fti pe stomacul gol, \u00ee\u015fi pune un shot de vodc\u0103. \u00cel \u00eenghite. \u00cenc\u0103 unul. Acum se simte suficient de b\u0103rbat s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi ia adio de la avere \u015fi via\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n

Deschide plicul. \u015ei scoate urm\u0103toarea foaie.<\/p>\n

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Omul s-a frecat la ochi c\u0103 poate viseaz\u0103. Deci, stai, ce? \u00cemi dai frisoane, palpita\u0163ii, dureri la linguric\u0103 \u015fi transpira\u0163ie trece, plus m\u0103 bagi la po\u015ft\u0103 \u00een \u00eenghesuiala castrave\u0163ilor din borcan, \u00een plin Covid, doar s\u0103 m\u0103 informezi cui am donat procent din impozit? Jur\u0103-te! \u00cen plin\u0103 er\u0103 a internetului \u015fi a informaticii, \u015fi c\u00e2nd orice declara\u0163ie de venituri are rubricile obligatorii mail \u015fi telefon? B\u0102, D\u0102-M\u0102 DREQ.<\/p>\n

S\u0103 \u00eencheiem cu cuvintele omului:<\/p>\n

“\u015etii ce e mi\u015fto, \u015fi nu se pot scoate cu blabla? Adresa mi-am schimbat-o anul asta \u00een iulie, \u015fi mi-au trimis avizul pe adresa nou\u0103, deci au aflat relativ rapid.\u00a0 Declara\u0163ia de venituri era pe adresa veche. S\u0103 nu mai vorbim de copacii masacra\u0163i pentru mizeria asta.
\nLa 5000 de cazuri noi de Covid pe zi, tu pui sute de mii de oameni la coad\u0103, ca s\u0103 le aminte\u015fti pe h\u00e2rtie unde au donat anul trecut!? Urlu! A\u015f vrea s\u0103 am p**a de 5000 de metri, s\u0103 le dau la to\u0163i c\u00e2te o \u00eembuc\u0103tur\u0103.”<\/p>\n

De acord cu aproape tot, mai pu\u0163in cu ideea c\u0103 mi-a\u015f p\u00e2ng\u0103ri ginga\u015fa \u015fi delicata p**\u0103 \u00een acest mod.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol, sus\u0163ine site-ul cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Am un cunoscut foarte generos. Un b\u0103iat care sus\u021bine un num\u0103r at\u00e2t de impresionant de cauze nobile, \u00eenc\u00e2t te mai \u00eentrebi cum \u00eei r\u0103m\u00e2ne...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19863,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20652","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/germ.png?fit=640%2C488&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20652","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20652"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20652\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20657,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20652\/revisions\/20657"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19863"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20652"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20652"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20652"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}