{"id":20791,"date":"2020-11-22T10:16:19","date_gmt":"2020-11-22T07:16:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20791"},"modified":"2020-11-22T10:16:19","modified_gmt":"2020-11-22T07:16:19","slug":"cum-scapam-de-negativitate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cum-scapam-de-negativitate\/","title":{"rendered":"Cum sc\u0103p\u0103m de negativitate"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mi se spune c\u0103 \u00eemi place s\u0103 critic b\u0103rba\u021bii, dar acest text va \u00eencepe cu un obicei prost pe care \u00eel au mai ales femeile. Nu, nu toate femeile, slav\u0103 Domnului. \u0218i da, \u0219i unii b\u0103rba\u021bi au acest stil. Ajunge s\u0103 fie un fel de a fi, \u0219i e un mod prin care \u00ee\u021bi otr\u0103ve\u0219ti singur via\u021ba \u0219i ajungi s\u0103 \u00eendep\u0103rtezi alte persoane, pe criteriul “Ce, frate, s\u0103 vin\u0103 trista aia s\u0103 strice petrecerea?”.<\/p>\n

Sunt persoane care sunt constant ciufute. \u015ei nu m\u0103 refer la expresia fe\u0163ei pe care o iau eu \u00een poze, alb\u0103 \u015fi neutr\u0103, s\u0103 se vad\u0103 detaliile machiajului. Nu m\u0103 refer nici la faptul c\u0103, dac\u0103 le interpeleaz\u0103 Gigel necunoscut pe net sau pe strad\u0103, \u00eel m\u00e2r\u00e2ie. E perfect ok s\u0103 nu ai nici un chef de ag\u0103\u0163at \u015fi nu datorezi universului r\u0103bdare \u015fi diploma\u0163ie cu nef***ii planetei.<\/p>\n

M\u0103 refer \u00een schimb la oameni care au perpetuu o atitudine negativ\u0103, \u015fi fa\u0163\u0103 de ei, \u015fi fa\u0163\u0103 de tine, care pun mereu r\u0103ul \u00eenainte, care caut\u0103 mereu defectul \u015fi care nu au niciodat\u0103 un motiv de bucurie.<\/p>\n

Restul lumii ajunge, dup\u0103 un timp, s\u0103 te evite, pentru c\u0103 se simt tra\u015fi \u00een jos, \u015fi pe bun\u0103 dreptate. Genul de vampirism emo\u0163ional care vine la pachet cu acest tip de negativitate perpetu\u0103, care-l face pe cel\u0103lalt s\u0103 se simt\u0103 \u00een permanen\u0163\u0103 ca \u015fi cum ar fi angajat full time la proiectul “Tu” \u015fi ca \u015fi cum ar fi permanent vinovat c\u0103 a mai uitat un mic detaliu e crunt.<\/p>\n

Doar persoanele co-dependente \u015fi cu sindrom Stockholm intr\u0103 \u00een acest joc, \u015fi de obicei se termin\u0103 cu ele arunc\u00e2ndu-se de pe pod.<\/p>\n

M\u0103 \u00eentreb cum trebuie s\u0103 fie via\u021ba pentru un astfel de om. Probabil, extrem de nasoal\u0103, \u0219i care parte din asta e din pricina felului lui de a fi. Partea mai proast\u0103 e c\u0103 to\u021bi putem ajunge acolo. \u015ei atunci, pentru c\u0103 to\u0163i suntem vulnerabili \u015fi influen\u0163abili p\u00e2n\u0103 la un punct, hai s\u0103 vedem cum elimin\u0103m tendin\u0163ele negativiste din vie\u0163ile noastre.<\/p>\n

A) Cultiv\u0103m o stare general\u0103 de calm.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fie c\u0103 facem medita\u0163ie, yoga, lu\u0103m \u00een bra\u0163e o religie sau ascult\u0103m clopote tibetane, ideea de baz\u0103 a st\u0103rii generale de calm este c\u0103 dac\u0103 apare o problem\u0103, st\u0103 \u00een puterea noastr\u0103 s\u0103 o rezolv\u0103m c\u00e2t mai repede \u015fi bine, \u015fi chiar dac\u0103 n-o rezolv\u0103m perfect, m\u0103car am \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at lec\u0163ii. Cei care au apreciat efortul sunt oameni de p\u0103strat, iar cei care se bucur\u0103 meschin de r\u0103ul t\u0103u sunt de eliminat.<\/p>\n

Ideea e c\u0103 lini\u015ftea interioar\u0103, pacea cu noi \u00een\u015fine e cel mai bun prieten al nostru. Ne \u00eent\u0103re\u015fte s\u0103n\u0103tatea, ne face s\u0103 facem alegeri practice \u015fi ra\u0163ionale \u015fi ne ajut\u0103 s\u0103 distingem imaginea de ansamblu de rahaturile mici \u015fi irelevante. Tot lini\u015ftea interioar\u0103 ne ajut\u0103 s\u0103 ne bucur\u0103m de chestii mici: o can\u0103 de cafea bun\u0103 diminea\u0163a, un moment de relaxare dup\u0103 o zi de munc\u0103 grea, o pung\u0103 de ursule\u0163i Haribo g\u0103sit\u0103 \u00een buzunarul unei geci c\u00e2nd faci curat.<\/p>\n

B) Ne bucur\u0103m real de ceea ce avem.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Stai \u00een casa ta proprie, \u00een timp ce trei sferturi de Bucure\u015fti pl\u0103tesc chirii exorbitante? Super tare, nu crezi? Toat\u0103 HORECA a \u00eenchis, dar tu de\u0163ii singura cr\u00e2\u015fm\u0103 care \u00eenc\u0103 merge, pentru c\u0103 clien\u0163ii t\u0103i fideli stau pe teras\u0103 de drag? Yaaas, mama! Etc., etc.<\/p>\n

Nu e un exerci\u0163iu de l\u0103ud\u0103ro\u015fenie fa\u0163\u0103 de al\u0163ii, ci strict de evaluare onest\u0103 a tot ce ai \u015fi po\u0163i. Nici nu e cazul s\u0103 spui altora nimic. Conteaz\u0103 s\u0103 \u015ftii tu \u015fi s\u0103 extragi bucurie din asta.<\/p>\n

C) Ne asum\u0103m c\u0103 a vrea confort material e ok.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 ce a ie\u015fit spotul la videochat, au fost mul\u0163i l\u0103tr\u0103i, dar de obicei plecau dup\u0103 ce-\u015fi f\u0103ceau num\u0103rul. \u00cen schimb, a fost o gagic\u0103 turbat\u0103 de-a dreptul. M-a \u00eenjurat cu spume pe Facebook, pe Instagram, pe YouTube. O blocam pe o platform\u0103 \u015fi venea pe alta s\u0103 verse valuri – valuri de venin. Job? Casier\u0103 la nu mai \u015ftiu ce magazin. Tipa asta care probabil c\u0103 muncea pe rupte pe un salariu de mizerie, avea nevoie de o imagine ca a mea, actri\u0163a pl\u0103tit\u0103 generos pe un spot publicitar la o industrie tabu, s\u0103-\u015fi rezolve frustrarea generat\u0103 de g\u00e2ndul c\u0103 ar fi c\u00e2\u015ftigat mai mult dintr-un job “murdar”.<\/p>\n

S\u0103r\u0103cia e ur\u00e2t\u0103. \u0102la care a inventat bra\u015foava aia cu “s\u0103rac, dar cinstit” era un mocangiu care f\u0103cea capital de pe urma s\u0103racilor cinsti\u0163i. Cei care te gaslight c\u0103 nu conteaz\u0103 confortul fie nu-\u0163i vor binele, fie au tr\u0103it vie\u0163i ur\u00e2te \u015fi, exact ca hateri\u0163a mea, sufer\u0103 de o form\u0103 cronic\u0103 de “sindromul caprei vecinului”. E perfect ok s\u0103 vrei s\u0103 fii pl\u0103tit pentru serviciile tale.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 tipa aia ar fi fost perfect mul\u0163umit\u0103 de jobul ei, nu ar fi avut motive obiective s\u0103 m\u0103 caute \u015fi s\u0103 m\u0103 spurce peste tot. E un spot, dai x din col\u0163 \u015fi n-a existat. C\u0103 m\u0103 g\u0103sea ur\u00e2t\u0103 \u015fi proast\u0103? Ai n spoturi pline de actri\u0163e ur\u00e2te \u015fi proaste, dar nu te duci s\u0103 le cau\u0163i pe contul lor de Instagram s\u0103 le \u00eenjuri degeaba. Faptul c\u0103 a f\u0103cut-o ne spune mai degrab\u0103 c\u00e2te lipsuri refuleaz\u0103 f\u0103ptura aia, c\u00e2t de intens nesatisf\u0103cut\u0103 e de jobul de acum \u015fi cum ar vrea de fapt genul de libertate interioar\u0103 de care am dat dovad\u0103 eu.<\/p>\n

D) Drept care, e perfect rezonabil s\u0103 follow the money, c\u00e2t timp nu faci r\u0103u altora.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nu, nu e cazul s\u0103 jefuie\u015fti b\u0103nci sau s\u0103 omori b\u0103tr\u00e2nele singure s\u0103 le furi economiile. \u00cen schimb, po\u0163i refuza s\u0103 munce\u015fti gratis sau prost pl\u0103tit, po\u0163i cere o m\u0103rire de salariu, dac\u0103 consideri c\u0103 o meri\u0163i, po\u0163i argumenta calm \u015fi cu for\u0163\u0103 de ce o meri\u0163i \u015fi po\u0163i lua decizii financiar avantajoase f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 te sim\u0163i vinovat\u0103.<\/p>\n

At\u00e2ta timp c\u00e2t faci munca, meri\u0163i banii. Cine nu vede asta, nu merit\u0103 investi\u0163ia ta de timp \u015fi energie \u00een continuare.<\/p>\n

Nu \u0163ine pic\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eu scot extrem de repede din via\u0163a mea sau neutralizez prompt pro\u015ftii agresivi \u015fi r\u0103i, pentru c\u0103 sora voastr\u0103 Lorena e econoam\u0103 cu timpul ei \u015fi opereaz\u0103 pe modulul “dac\u0103 e\u015fti mai mult deranj dec\u00e2t utilitate, kindly du-te-n mor\u0163ii m\u0103-tii.”<\/p>\n

Dar, chiar dac\u0103 le iau \u00een t\u0103rbac\u0103 tot neamul, de la mamele care au omis s\u0103-i educe \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103 la maimu\u0163a care a comis eroarea de a se da jos din copac, nu m\u0103 implic emo\u0163ional<\/strong>. C\u00e2nd v\u0103d c\u0103 e vorba de un prost insistent, ignorat masiv de femei, care vede \u00een schimbul de insulte cu mine singura b\u0103gare \u00een seam\u0103 pe care a extras-o de la o femeie de trei luni (pay\u00a0 a sex worker for her time, gigele) sau unul masochist, venit s\u0103 cer\u015feasc\u0103 abuz (pay a sex worker for her time, gigele), le dau block prompt. \u015ei mintea mea trece instant la subiectul urm\u0103tor UTIL.<\/p>\n

Acum vreo dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u015fi ceva, un gorobete emigrant, venit el s\u0103 \u00eenjure pe pagina mea la vremea aceea \u0219i f***t \u00een gur\u0103 prompt \u0219i ap\u0103sat \u00ceN RIPOST\u0102, s-a apucat s\u0103 renasc\u0103 un scandal pe Facebook. Scandalul ini\u021bial s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat acum trei ani.<\/strong> Repet: acum trei ani. Dup\u0103 trei ani, scuza aia penibil\u0103 de om nu are alt subiect dec\u00e2t vaaai, ce tare \u00eel ustur\u0103 fisura anal\u0103 pe care i-am provocat-o.<\/p>\n

Din nou, v\u0103 da\u0163i seama nivelul de frustrare \u015fi ratare? Eu, \u00een trei ani, am f\u0103cut proiecte, am scris mii de texte, am semnat contracte, am iubit, m-am desp\u0103r\u0163it, am mai iubit o dat\u0103, m-am mai desp\u0103r\u0163it o dat\u0103, am f\u0103cut bani, i-am cheltuit, am f\u0103cut al\u0163ii, etc., iar viermele \u0103sta \u00een continuare se b\u0103l\u0103ce\u015fte \u00een veninul ideii c\u0103 o femeie i-a luat, provocat\u0103 \u015fi pe bun\u0103 dreptate, mor\u0163ii \u00een pro\u0163ap.<\/p>\n

\u00cenc\u0103 o dat\u0103. Eu nu aveam nimic cu gigel. F*t \u00een gur\u0103 \u015fi blochez c\u00e2te 30 pe zi, pentru c\u0103 familia tradi\u0163ional\u0103 a produs un num\u0103r cople\u015fitor de b\u0103d\u0103rani odio\u015fi. Dar, taman pentru c\u0103 nu fac o obsesie \u015fi nu las ranchiuna fa\u0163\u0103 de gigel4545 s\u0103 m\u0103 macine, c\u00e2nd unul dintre rata\u0163ii \u0103\u015ftia se apuc\u0103 s\u0103 publice mor\u0163ii de mam\u0103 cu care l-am taxat, primul g\u00e2nd e: Cine plm e \u0103sta?<\/p>\n

Abia dup\u0103 ce mi se explic\u0103 mai multe, deduc care prost a irosit trei ani din via\u0163a lui oftic\u00e2ndu-se c\u0103 a fost f***t zdrav\u0103n \u00een bot, \u00ceN REPLIC\u0102 la nesim\u0163ire.<\/p>\n

Ce po\u0163i desprinde tu din asta?<\/p>\n

S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 l-ai iubit pe unul \u015fi \u0103la te-a \u00een\u015felat. CEA MAI BUN\u0102 R\u0102ZBUNARE e s\u0103 nu por\u0163i ranchiun\u0103. S\u0103 zici “d\u0103-l \u00een plm” \u015fi s\u0103 move on. S\u0103-\u0163i g\u0103se\u015fti o form\u0103 nou\u0103 de fericire \u015fi s\u0103 ui\u0163i c\u0103 a existat.<\/p>\n

\u00cen secunda aia, tu te define\u015fti drept Maria Ionescu, sau cum te cheam\u0103, nu ca S\u0103r\u0103cu\u0163a victim\u0103 a lui Gogu Pxl\u0103mic\u0103. E o form\u0103 de deta\u015fare care, pe termen lung, \u00eenseamn\u0103 putere.<\/p>\n

Nu l\u0103sa stresul s\u0103 te cople\u015feasc\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u0163i se cer deadlines prea scurte, cere unele mai lungi. Dac\u0103 \u0163i se d\u0103 un volum prea mare de munc\u0103, explic\u0103 de ce e foarte mare, \u015fi cere unul rezonabil. Fii r\u0103bd\u0103tor cu tine \u015fi stabile\u015fte altora limite clare, pe care s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163e s\u0103 le respecte. Modul de a ob\u0163ine performan\u0163\u0103 nu e f***iul nonstop la icre, ci concentrarea calm\u0103, efortul constant \u015fi corect dozat.<\/p>\n

E ok s\u0103 ai defecte. Capacitatea de a fi autoironic e un mod \u00een care po\u0163i fi prieten cu tine.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cu c\u00e2t mimezi perfec\u0163iunea, cu at\u00e2t iese la iveal\u0103 cus\u0103tura cu a\u0163\u0103 alb\u0103. E ok, e\u015fti om. Sunt lucruri pe care nu le st\u0103p\u00e2ne\u015fti. Nu e o problem\u0103, le po\u0163i aprofunda oric\u00e2nd. Iar dac\u0103 nu e\u015fti \u00een stare s\u0103 treci de un anumit punct al evolu\u0163iei tale \u00een momentul X, e perfect \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 glume\u015fti legat de asta. A\u015fa te accep\u0163i \u015fi tu pe tine, \u015fi a\u015fa, \u00een multe cazuri, elimini exact cauzele blocajului emo\u0163ional.<\/p>\n

\u015ei la final, po\u0163i adopta oric\u00e2nd un animal de companie. Dac\u0103 e\u015fti genul responsabil. Dac\u0103 nu e\u015fti, vezi pisoia\u015fi pe YouTube.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mare parte din negativitatea omeneasc\u0103 deriv\u0103 dintr-o form\u0103 de egoism. Din senza\u0163ia c\u0103 universul \u00ee\u0163i datoreaz\u0103 lucruri \u015fi c\u0103 rolul t\u0103u e s\u0103 faci fi\u0163e \u015fi nazuri.<\/p>\n

O responsabilitate, ca un anim\u0103lu\u0163 de companie, e un lucru minunat. \u00cenve\u0163i S\u0102 AI GRIJ\u0102 DE ALT\u0102 FIIN\u0162\u0102. S\u0103 o hr\u0103ne\u015fti, s\u0103 o \u00eemb\u0103iezi, s\u0103 o deparazitezi, s\u0103-i cure\u0163i litiera, s\u0103 te joci, s\u0103 m\u00e2ng\u00e2i, s\u0103 \u0163ii \u00een bra\u0163e. Grija de alt\u0103 fiin\u0163\u0103 e o form\u0103 de \u00eemplinire ca om.<\/p>\n

Dar dac\u0103 e prea mult pentru tine, po\u0163i oric\u00e2nd s\u0103 deschizi YouTube \u015fi s\u0103 te ui\u0163i la pisoia\u015fii altora.<\/p>\n

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***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol,\u00a0sus\u0163ine site-ul cu o dona\u0163ie<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mi se spune c\u0103 \u00eemi place s\u0103 critic b\u0103rba\u021bii, dar acest text va \u00eencepe cu un obicei prost pe care \u00eel au mai ales...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16057,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20791","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/dog.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20791","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20791"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20791\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20793,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20791\/revisions\/20793"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16057"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20791"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20791"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20791"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}