“De ziua ta, iubito, \u00een dar \u0163i-am adus inima \u015fi a\u015f vrea s\u0103 te pun capr\u0103 pe masa din buc\u0103t\u0103rie, ca \u00een filmul \u0103la genial, Po\u015fta\u015ful izbe\u015fte \u00eentotdeauna de dou\u0103 ori, pe care l-am v\u0103zut eu pe P-hub. Dec\u00e2t c\u0103 eu sub patru numere succesive nu m\u0103 satur. Sunt ca Loto, 6 din 49, \u015fi toate norocoase, lol.”<\/p>\n
Taurul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “La mul\u0163i ani savuro\u015fi \u015fi delicio\u015fi, plini de filet mignon, musaca de vinete \u015fi pui cu parmezan. S\u0103 ai borcanul pururea plin de vin bun \u015fi s\u0103 nu-\u0163i lipseasc\u0103 niciodat\u0103 mozzarella din frigider.”<\/p>\n Gemenii\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Vrei, te rog, s\u0103-mi dai \u015fi mie follow pe Instagram? Ah, stai, apare tortule\u0163ul \u0103sta \u00een dreptul numelui t\u0103u. Fat\u0103, ziceai c\u0103 e\u015fti la diet\u0103, ce naibaaa.”<\/p>\n Racul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “De ziua ta special\u0103 ca momentul \u00een care ai ap\u0103rut \u00een via\u0163a mea, vreau s\u0103-\u0163i mul\u0163umesc pentru fiecare respira\u0163ie cu care mi-ai insuflat inspira\u0163ie. Nu \u015ftii c\u00e2t de mult te iubesc, dar o s\u0103 postez acum 80 de emoji cu inimi, s\u0103 te edifici. Minune ambulant\u0103 ireal\u0103, dar totu\u015fi mobil\u0103, ce e\u015fti!”<\/p>\n Leul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Paypal: 10.000 de euro.<\/p>\n Tu: Wait, what? Cred c\u0103 e o gre\u015feal\u0103. Cred c\u0103 voiai s\u0103 pui 10 \u015fi ai gre\u015fit trei zerouri.<\/p>\n Leul: Drag\u0103, nu e nimic gre\u015fit. \u015ei mai vreau s\u0103 afli c\u0103 a\u015f oferi infinit mai mult, c\u0103 e un singur Leu \u00eentr-o aglomera\u0163ie de pot\u0103i jig\u0103rite, dar trec momentan prin dificult\u0103\u0163i cu pandemia naibii. La mul\u0163i ani.<\/p>\n Fecioara\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “\u00ce\u0163i doresc mult\u0103 s\u0103n\u0103tate, mai ales acum, s\u0103 ai mereu dezinfectan\u0163i, degresan\u0163i \u015fi detergen\u0163i din bel\u015fug, s\u0103 nu te intersectezi vreodat\u0103 cu vreo urm\u0103 de germen, bacterie sau virus, \u015fi s\u0103 po\u0163i munci de diminea\u0163a p\u00e2n\u0103 seara, ca o femeie puternic\u0103 \u015fi responsabil\u0103 ce e\u015fti. Spor \u00een toate. Pup, m\u0103 \u00eentorc la sp\u0103lat ferestre.”<\/p>\n Balan\u0163a\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Draga mea, \u00ee\u0163i doresc s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i de-a pururi t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 \u015fi frumoas\u0103, s\u0103 nu-\u0163i apar\u0103 nici un rid, s\u0103 te men\u0163ii ca la 20 de ani, f\u0103r\u0103 griji dar totu\u015fi cu ceva bani, de cosmetice, desigur. \u00cemi place mult c\u0103 ai sl\u0103bit \u00een ultima vreme, \u015fi nu \u00ee\u0163i spun s\u0103 z\u00e2mbe\u015fti \u00een poze, dar c\u00e2nd z\u00e2mbe\u015fti, ar\u0103\u0163i chiar simpatic\u0103. La mult acid hialuronic”.<\/p>\n Scorpionul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “La mul\u0163i ani, fat\u0103. \u015ei zi a\u015fa, tot \u00een izolare la domiciliu? Nasoool, pisi. Dar \u015ftii ceva? \u015ei eu tot acas\u0103 am s\u0103rb\u0103torit, so, m\u0103car a murit \u015fi capra ta. Lol, hihi, la mul\u0163i aaaani. Pwned!”<\/p>\n S\u0103get\u0103torul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “\u0102\u015ftia de p\u00e2n\u0103 acum nu \u015ftiu nimic. Vinul se poate cump\u0103ra din timp \u015fi clubul numit Spotify e nonstop. Iar faptul c\u0103 mai scapi de ei e o binecuv\u00e2ntare \u00een sine. La mul\u0163i ani, beeetch. Bucur\u0103-te de carantin\u0103, c\u00e2t mai dureaz\u0103, c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 te \u00eent\u00e2lne\u015fti fizic cu nimeni, ai mereu scuza pandemiei! Cadou de la Dumnezeu!”<\/p>\n Capricornul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “La mul\u0163i ani. \u015ei mult\u0103 bucurie. \u00cen fond, \u0163ie \u00eenc\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i merge ok c\u00e2nd at\u00e2\u0163ia al\u0163ii nu mai au joburi. Te men\u0163ii pe linia de plutire, nu ai datorii \u015fi asta conteaz\u0103. S\u0103 fii s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103, c\u0103 \u00een rest, te descurci tu. Nu bea prea mult, c\u0103-\u0163i cauzeaz\u0103. \u015ei nu face shopping pe aliexpress, c\u0103 numai s\u0103rakii se duc acolo. Vezi c\u0103 Luisa via Roma are reduceri”.<\/p>\n V\u0103rs\u0103torul<\/strong><\/p>\n “De ziua ta, d\u0103-mi voie s\u0103-\u0163i trimit acest poem fracturist cu rim\u0103 alb\u0103, scris special pentru tine, numai 456 de strofe, \u015fi o filmare cu pisica mea ling\u00e2ndu-se \u00een c*r, montat\u0103 din unghiuri avantgardiste, \u00een alb negru. \u0162i-au pl\u0103cuuuut, nu? Bun. \u00ce\u0163i mai trimit un poem. Poate scrii despre mine pe blog.”<\/p>\n Pe\u015ftii\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “La mul\u0163i ani \u00een aceste momente grele \u015fi te rog, spune-mi c\u0103 n-ai Covid. A murit unu’ de la noi din bloc s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103. Bine, avea \u015fi astm cronic, \u015fi s-a sufocat ca un torturat din Game of Thrones, dar stai, \u015fi tu ai astm cronic. Te rog frumos s\u0103-\u0163i iei temperatura \u015fi dac\u0103 str\u0103nu\u0163i sau ceva, s\u0103 te duci neap\u0103rat la medic. Fie ca 2021 s\u0103 ne aduc\u0103 un vaccin eficient, c\u0103 nu mai pooot. O sun zilnic pe mama s-o \u00eentreb c\u00e2te grade are. Pup. S\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u015fti, s\u0103 fii s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103, vitaminizat\u0103 \u015fi vaccinat\u0103”.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol,\u00a0sus\u0163ine site-ul cu o dona\u0163ie<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n *** Ce le-a f\u0103tat mintea<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n