{"id":21148,"date":"2021-01-24T16:08:42","date_gmt":"2021-01-24T13:08:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=21148"},"modified":"2021-01-24T16:08:42","modified_gmt":"2021-01-24T13:08:42","slug":"lasa-l-draga-ca-asa-e-el","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/lasa-l-draga-ca-asa-e-el\/","title":{"rendered":"Las\u0103-l, drag\u0103, c\u0103 a\u0219a e el!"},"content":{"rendered":"

V\u0103 povesteam acum c\u00e2teva zile, la cazul elevei h\u0103r\u021buite de profesorul de matematic\u0103, cum, dac\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii ar fi fost sistematic tra\u0219i la r\u0103spundere, de toate femeile, c\u00e2nd sunt abuzivi, abuzurile sexiste ar fi disp\u0103rut de mult.<\/p>\n

\u0218i citam cazul directoarei care, \u00een loc s\u0103-l pun\u0103 la punct pe arm\u0103sarul \u00eenfl\u0103c\u0103rat de la catedr\u0103, o \u00eenvinov\u0103\u021bea tot pe victim\u0103, c\u0103 studiaz\u0103 mecanic\u0103, \u00een loc s\u0103 se duc\u0103 la textile, locul potrivit pentru femei \u00een min\u021bi\u0219oara ei m\u0103runt\u0103 \u0219i retrograd\u0103 r\u0103mas\u0103 undeva \u00een anii 1870. Dac\u0103 studiezi o meserie de b\u0103rba\u021bi, sigur e\u0219ti c***\u0103.<\/p>\n

Abuzurile acelui nene au fost posibile \u00een forma lor continuat\u0103 pentru c\u0103 a existat cucoana cu pricina, care i-a sugerat c\u0103 e ok \u0219i c\u0103 nu-l pa\u0219te nici o consecin\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

Faptul c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii abuzivi primesc und\u0103 verde de la un grup de femei atunci c\u00e2nd sunt abuzivi \u00eei face pe ace\u0219tia s\u0103<\/p>\n

a) continue s\u0103 se comporte abuziv cu persoane pe care le percep drept vulnerabile.<\/p>\n

b) se adune pe forumuri de neomasculinitate, red pill, manosfer\u0103, machism, \u0219i alte nume la fel de inepte, care \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 conving\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bi naivi c\u0103 masculinitatea \u00eenseamn\u0103, basically, s\u0103 fii un bou b\u0103d\u0103ran, egoist, misecuvenist \u0219i foarte, foarte nesim\u021bit, \u0219i c\u0103 e perfect normal s\u0103 nu oferi respect \u00een interac\u021biunile tale cu femei.<\/p>\n

E o cultur\u0103 a abuzului care, de la un punct \u00eencolo, le va afecta \u0219i pe femeile-complici. Pentru c\u0103 dac\u0103 \u00eel educi pe gigel c\u0103 femeile sunt c\u00e2rpe de \u0219ters la p***, la un moment dat va vedea \u0219i \u00een tine tot o c\u00e2rp\u0103 de \u0219ters la p***, \u0219i e\u0219ti direct responsabil\u0103 de asta. \u0218i pentru tine, \u0219i pentru altele.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Azi, \u00eens\u0103, vreau s\u0103 v\u0103 vorbesc de o form\u0103 aparent mai inofensiv\u0103 de perpetuare \u0219i legitimare a abuzului. Aparent.<\/p>\n

\u0218i anume, de c\u00e2te ori un gigel e b\u0103d\u0103ran \u0219i nesim\u021bit cu tine, \u0219i sare grupul de g\u00e2\u0219te: Vai, drag\u0103, dar a\u0219a e el. Obi\u0219nuie\u0219te-te.<\/p>\n

Amuzant e c\u0103 dup\u0103 ce \u00eei dovede\u0219ti gigelului c\u0103 nu tolerezi s\u0103 se trag\u0103 de \u0219ireturi cu tine, \u00een 99% din cazuri, dac\u0103 nu e foarte prost \u0219i foarte r\u0103u, gigelul va \u00eencepe s\u0103 se poarte mai respectuos, s\u0103 lase tupeul \u0219i obr\u0103znicia mai jos. Deci, nu, nu e a\u0219a el. A\u0219a e el PE MOMENT pentru c\u0103 voi \u00eei permite\u021bi \u0219i \u00eel \u00eencuraja\u021bi. Monstrul este crea\u021bia voastr\u0103, pe care \u00eencerca\u021bi s\u0103 mi-o vinde\u021bi \u0219i mie drept definitiv\u0103 \u0219i irevocabil\u0103.<\/p>\n

V\u0103 voi trata acum cu o mic\u0103 amintire din copil\u0103rie. Na\u0219ul meu de botez a fost un fustangiu be\u021biv. Dar pentru c\u0103 de mine era ata\u0219at ca de copilul lui, m\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba p\u0103rinte\u0219te: “Feti\u021bo, b\u0103rba\u021bii sunt ca porcii. O s\u0103 se t\u0103v\u0103leasc\u0103 \u00een n\u0103mol c\u00e2t o s\u0103 se poat\u0103. Dac\u0103 nu vrei s\u0103 sar\u0103 calul cu tine, \u021bine-i foarte din scurt. Indiferent ce minciuni toarn\u0103, o s\u0103 respecte doar femeia care nu pune botul la vr\u0103jeal\u0103.”<\/p>\n

Sigur, aceste \u00eenv\u0103\u0163\u0103minte nu sunt valabile pentru to\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163ii. Sunt destul de mul\u0163i care sunt decen\u0163i, educa\u0163i, cu o \u00een\u021belegere a demnit\u0103\u021bii \u0219i libert\u0103\u021bii celorlal\u021bi,\u00a0 nu se dezbrac\u0103 de caracter \u015fi pot construi interac\u0163iuni reciproc agreabile \u0219i fair cu femeile. Dar sunt boii crescu\u0163i \u00een masculinitate toxic\u0103, dobitocii sini\u015ftri care \u00ee\u015fi imagineaz\u0103 c\u0103, doar pentru c\u0103 tu e\u015fti femeie, sunt scuti\u0163i de regulile civiliza\u0163iei \u0219i ale comunic\u0103rii normale.<\/p>\n

Cu \u0103ia nu merg dec\u00e2t lec\u0163iile na\u015fului meu. Omul vorbea practic despre sine, cu deplin\u0103 bun\u0103 credin\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd v\u0103d pe net c\u00e2te un influiens\u0103r misogin cu sute de likes, majoritatea de la femei, care gratuleaz\u0103 c\u00e2te o glum\u0103 umilitoare \u015fi degradant\u0103 cu “ahahahaha, c\u00e2t m-am r\u00e2s, e\u015fti tare, Gogu”, m\u0103 doare inima. Pentru c\u0103 e \u00eenc\u0103 un gest de \u00eencurajare. Nu doar pentru \u0103la, ci \u015fi pentru b\u0103rba\u0163ii care se uit\u0103 \u015fi \u00een\u0163eleg c\u0103 a\u015fa trebuie s\u0103 te por\u0163i, s\u0103 fii idolu’ la femei.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd v\u0103d pe c\u00e2te un bou arogant \u015fi profund nesim\u0163it d\u00e2nd replici extrem de obraznice, apoi aud femei justific\u00e2ndu-l cu “vai, drag\u0103, dar a\u015fa este el, obi\u015fnuie\u015fte-te”, \u00eemi dau seama cu triste\u0163e c\u0103, \u00een \u0163ara asta, pozi\u0163ia femeii \u00een societate este tot la nivelul din 1930.<\/p>\n

Unde femeia este taxat\u0103 \u015fi certat\u0103 continuu pentru fiecare moment \u00een care nu e 100% amabil\u0103, disponibil\u0103 \u015fi z\u00e2mbitoare, \u015fi b\u0103rbatul e perpetuu scuzat pentru m\u00e2rl\u0103nie.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2t timp scuza\u0163i obr\u0103znicii \u015fi b\u0103d\u0103r\u0103nii cu “las\u0103, drag\u0103, a\u015fa e el”, sunte\u0163i parte din problem\u0103.<\/p>\n

V-am povestit c\u0103 p\u0103rin\u0163ii mei sunt divor\u0163a\u0163i de c\u00e2nd eram eu mic copil. Mama a l\u0103sat de la ea toat\u0103 via\u0163a \u015fi pe durata \u00eentregului mariaj, sper\u00e2nd s\u0103-l fac\u0103 pe tata s\u0103 vad\u0103 ce comoar\u0103 are l\u00e2ng\u0103 el. “Las\u0103, drag\u0103, a\u015fa e el”. Cu c\u00e2t ea l\u0103sa mai mult de la ea, cu at\u00e2t el era \u015fi mai b\u0103d\u0103ran, \u015fi mai lipsit de respect.<\/p>\n

Eu nu-i datorez lui nimic. A evitat s\u0103 pl\u0103teasc\u0103 pensie alimentar\u0103, a divor\u0163at \u015fi de noi o dat\u0103 cu mama, \u015fi a tr\u0103it ca un burlac. C\u00e2nd m-a c\u0103utat la maturitate, l-am luat scurt \u015fi sec cu “Ce pxla mea vrei de la mine, dup\u0103 c\u00e2te N-ai f\u0103cut pentru mine?”<\/p>\n

“A, p\u0103i stai s\u0103 vezi…”<\/p>\n

“Nu stau s\u0103 v\u0103d nimic. Ce ai f\u0103cut tu ca p\u0103rinte, s\u0103 po\u0163i pretinde de la mine ata\u015fament filial?”<\/p>\n

“C\u0103 p\u0103rin\u0163ii nu \u0163i-i judeci, c\u0103 cutare.”<\/p>\n

“Ba eu te judec \u015fi nu ai ce s\u0103 faci s\u0103 \u00eempiedici asta. Nu ai fost l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine c\u00e2nd am avut nevoie de un tat\u0103, nu ai ce s\u0103-mi ceri!”<\/p>\n

Cu mine, taic\u0103-miu se poart\u0103 acum cu un respect \u015fi o form\u0103 de regret pe care maic\u0103-mea nu le-a v\u0103zut niciodat\u0103, de\u015fi ea chiar a f\u0103cut tot ce se putea pentru mariajul \u0103la.<\/p>\n

At\u00e2t de p\u0103guboas\u0103 este politica lui “A\u015fa e el, n-ai ce s\u0103-i faci”.<\/p>\n

Ba ai.<\/p>\n

Sau devine politicos \u015fi atent la comunicarea cu tine, sau \u00eei strive\u015fti c***iele cu tocurile \u00eenalte.<\/p>\n

\u00cen fond, nu ceri nimic ie\u015fit din comun. Bunul sim\u0163 elementar \u015fi civiliza\u0163ia basic nu ar trebui s\u0103 fie mare lucru.<\/p>\n

Dar din cauza femeilor cu “a\u015fa e el, n-ai ce s\u0103-i faci”, \u00eenc\u0103 este ceva aparent irealizabil \u00een Rom\u00e2nia.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol,\u00a0sus\u0163ine site-ul cu o dona\u0163ie<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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***
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V\u0103 povesteam acum c\u00e2teva zile, la cazul elevei h\u0103r\u021buite de profesorul de matematic\u0103, cum, dac\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii ar fi fost sistematic tra\u0219i la r\u0103spundere, de...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20990,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/cartoon-5498888_640.jpg?fit=629%2C447&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21148"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21148\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21150,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21148\/revisions\/21150"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}