{"id":21186,"date":"2021-02-01T11:58:35","date_gmt":"2021-02-01T08:58:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=21186"},"modified":"2021-02-01T11:58:35","modified_gmt":"2021-02-01T08:58:35","slug":"cum-am-ramas-eu-blocata-in-lift","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cum-am-ramas-eu-blocata-in-lift\/","title":{"rendered":"Cum am r\u0103mas eu blocat\u0103 \u00een lift"},"content":{"rendered":"

Veneam din ora\u0219. Intru \u00een bloc, \u00eenfr\u00e2ng impulsul vitejesc care-mi zice s\u0103 iau sc\u0103rile, s\u0103 fac picioare de zei\u021b\u0103, \u0219i, cum liftul era la parter, hop \u00een el. Am \u00eenchis u\u0219ile, am ap\u0103sat butonul aferent etajului. Chestiile uzuale.<\/p>\n

Ajung, dau s\u0103 deschid. Nimic. U\u0219a rezist\u0103. \u00cenchid u\u0219ile, dau s\u0103 ap\u0103s alt buton. Nimic. Liftul rezist\u0103. Mai \u00eencerc cu u\u0219a.<\/p>\n

Voce de b\u0103tr\u00e2nic\u0103:<\/p>\n

-Nu pute\u021bi s\u0103 ie\u0219i\u021bi?<\/p>\n

-Dup\u0103 cum se vede…, murmur eu blocat\u0103 de at\u00e2ta perspicacitate zdrobitoare.<\/p>\n

-Ce zice\u021bi???<\/p>\n

-C\u0103 nu. Nu pot s\u0103 ies.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd depinzi de bun\u0103voin\u021ba C\u0103pitanului Evident, nu-\u021bi permi\u021bi luxul de a face b\u00e2z\u0103.<\/p>\n

-La alt etaj pute\u021bi s\u0103 merge\u021bi?<\/p>\n

Mai \u00eencerc o dat\u0103. Mnup.<\/p>\n

-A r\u0103mas cinevaaa \u00een liiift! \u00eencepe b\u0103tr\u00e2nica s\u0103 \u021bipe din r\u0103runchi.<\/p>\n

Apare sobor de vecini. Hei, nici nu \u0219tiam c\u0103 am at\u00e2\u021bia vecini.<\/p>\n

Vecinul me\u0219ter:<\/p>\n

-Sta\u021bi s\u0103 aduc un patent.<\/p>\n

Vecina terapeut\u0103 de Formula As:<\/p>\n

-Respira\u021bi, s\u0103 nu vi se fac\u0103 r\u0103u.<\/p>\n

Vecinul Ace Ventura, detectivul lui pe\u0219te:<\/p>\n

-Dar ce f\u0103cea \u00een lift, de ce a r\u0103mas blocat\u0103!?<\/p>\n

“O f**eam pe m\u0103-ta”, oftez eu \u00een g\u00e2nd.<\/p>\n

Vecinul non+intruziv:<\/p>\n

-Nu atinge\u0163i nimic, s\u0103 vin\u0103 b\u0103ie\u0163ii.<\/p>\n

Vecina indignat\u0103:<\/p>\n

-Ce b\u0103ie\u0163i \u00ee\u0163i vine \u0163ie duminica, m\u0103i, finule?<\/p>\n

Primul vecin:<\/p>\n

-Am venit cu patentul.<\/p>\n

\u015ei deodat\u0103, se aude vocea vecinului expert:<\/p>\n

-Las\u0103, domne, patentul, trebuie s\u0103 \u00eenv\u00e2rteasc\u0103 rola.<\/p>\n

-Ce rol\u0103? \u00eentreb eu.<\/p>\n

-Rola, doamn\u0103, rola. Rola deschide u\u015fa liftului.<\/p>\n

-Unde e rola?<\/p>\n

-Nu \u015fti\u0163i dumneavoastr\u0103 de-astea.<\/p>\n

-Logic, de-aia v\u0103 \u00eentreb.<\/p>\n

-Rola trebuie, rola.<\/p>\n

V\u0103z\u00e2nd c\u0103 gigel repeta rola-rola ca un disc stricat, am luat-o pe logic\u0103. Dac\u0103 deschide u\u015fa, sigur e undeva pe marginea u\u015fii. Mi-am amintit ca prin cea\u0163\u0103 cum, pe c\u00e2nd eram eu copil mic, bunicul deschisese un lift tot cu rola, care era \u00een partea de sus a u\u015fii. \u00cencep s\u0103 pip\u0103i, g\u0103sesc o chestie rotund\u0103, o sucesc \u00een sensul \u00een care se las\u0103 \u015fi clac, u\u015fa se deschide.<\/p>\n

Vecinul expert, triumf\u0103tor:<\/p>\n

-Am zis eu c\u0103 e rola.<\/p>\n

Eu, iritat\u0103 cu draci, m\u0103 iau de el:<\/p>\n

-De ce nu mi-a\u0163i explicat unde exact e rola?<\/p>\n

-C\u0103 oricum nu v-a\u0163i fi descurcat.<\/p>\n

Atunci m-am enervat. Dar r\u0103u. Acum, mi se pare stupid c\u0103 m-am enervat at\u00e2t de r\u0103u, dar st\u0103tusem \u00een lift zece minute \u00een plus, pentru c\u0103 boul nu-mi spusese unde zzzda m\u0103-sii e rahatul \u0103la de rol\u0103.<\/p>\n

-Domnule, ave\u0163i ochi? M\u0103 vede\u0163i? Am ie\u015fit singur\u0103 din lift? Cum adic\u0103 nu m-a\u015f fi descurcat?<\/p>\n

-\u0102\u0103\u0103… \u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103…<\/p>\n

-To\u0163i zice\u0163i c\u0103 femeile nu au abilitate tehnic\u0103, dar \u00een realitate nu explica\u0163i cum trebuie \u015fi apoi v\u0103 bate\u0163i joc de ele c\u0103 nu \u015ftiu. Uite cum se explic\u0103: Rola e \u00een partea de sus a u\u015fii liftului, pe dreapta, e din metal, \u015fi se rote\u015fte spre exterior, sau din pozi\u0163ia celui aflat \u00een lift, \u00een ordinea invers\u0103 a acelor de ceasornic. A\u015fa se dau explica\u0163ii clare \u015fi cu sens. OK?<\/p>\n

-Vai, da’ ce rea e\u015fti de gur\u0103. Mai bine te l\u0103sam \u00een lift.<\/p>\n

-La cum nu \u015ftii s\u0103 explici nimic, consider\u0103 c\u0103 m-ai l\u0103sat.<\/p>\n

Se uita lumea la noi ca la urs.<\/p>\n

-O zi bun\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u015ei plec. \u00cen urma mea:<\/p>\n

-Vecine, poate c\u0103 trebuia s\u0103-i zici unde-i rola.<\/p>\n

-Nu! Oricum nu se descurca!<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol,\u00a0sus\u0163ine site-ul cu o dona\u0163ie<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Veneam din ora\u0219. Intru \u00een bloc, \u00eenfr\u00e2ng impulsul vitejesc care-mi zice s\u0103 iau sc\u0103rile, s\u0103 fac picioare de zei\u021b\u0103, \u0219i, cum liftul era la...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21187,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/lift.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21186","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21186"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21186\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21188,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21186\/revisions\/21188"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21187"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21186"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21186"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21186"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}