{"id":21543,"date":"2021-04-01T10:54:55","date_gmt":"2021-04-01T07:54:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=21543"},"modified":"2021-04-01T10:54:55","modified_gmt":"2021-04-01T07:54:55","slug":"posta-redactiei-banii-nu-te-fac-fericita","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-banii-nu-te-fac-fericita\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u015fta redac\u0163iei: Banii nu te fac fericit\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"

Azi, de 1 aprilie, avem o edi\u0163ie special\u0103 de po\u015fta redac\u0163iei. Edi\u0163ia cu pro\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Eu garantez anonimat persoanelor care scriu cu bun\u0103 credin\u0163\u0103 \u015fi cer o p\u0103rere. Dar nu garantez absolut nimic p\u0103reri\u015ftilor care au dou\u0103 clase ca trenul, dar \u00ee\u015fi permit s\u0103 m\u0103 \u015fcoleasc\u0103 de pe o pozi\u0163ie de superioritate pe care nu o justific\u0103 absolut nimic sub soare.<\/p>\n

Drept care, misiva de azi e cu expeditor la vedere. \u015ei zice a\u015fa:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Drag\u0103 Diana,<\/p>\n

\u015etiai c\u0103 mai mult ca sigur Alexandru are \u00eenc\u0103 un cont pe Facebook, unul \u00een care nu te are \u015fi pe tine cocoa\u015f\u0103, \u015fi probabil are un nickname de tipul Alex \u015emecherul, e plin de poze la bustul gol, \u0163i-a dat block de pe el \u015fi combin\u0103 gagici?<\/p>\n

OK, glumesc. Dar primul semn c\u0103 nu te califici s\u0103 dai sfaturi nici m\u0103car unui copila\u015f de trei ani e c\u0103 nu e\u015fti \u00een stare s\u0103 ai conturi individuale, pe numele t\u0103u. C\u0103 tu \u00ee\u0163i g\u0103se\u015fti o justificare doar \u00een tandem cu \u00eenc\u0103 cineva. Ca pe vremea lui Ceau\u015fescu, c\u00e2nd c\u0103r\u0163ile de doctrin\u0103 comunist\u0103 nu se cump\u0103rau singure, \u015fi atunci librarii le vindeau doar la pachet cu Cel mai iubit dintre p\u0103m\u00e2nteni sau alt roman modern mi\u015fto. Iar lumea cump\u0103ra scr\u00e2\u015fnind din din\u0163i \u015fi bro\u015fura comunist\u0103. Cam a\u015fa \u00eei e\u015fti tu lui Alexandru. Bro\u015fura lui comunist\u0103.<\/p>\n

Una la m\u00e2n\u0103: s\u0103 deranjezi privat un om pentru c\u0103 ruleaz\u0103 pe YouTube o reclam\u0103 pe care el a filmat-o acum trei ani \u015fi care e proprietatea pl\u0103titorului de la acea vreme e dovada unei imbecilit\u0103\u0163i at\u00e2t de atroce \u015fi de definitive, \u00eenc\u00e2t Alexandru ar trebui s\u0103 te \u0163in\u0103 nuai legat\u0103 de calorifer, s\u0103 nu faci familia de r\u00e2s.<\/p>\n

Eu nu controlez c\u00e2nd se difuzeaz\u0103 reclamele \u00een care joc. Dac\u0103 tu crezi c\u0103 \u00eemi scrii mie \u015fi se opre\u015fte reclama: E\u015eTI PROAST\u0102.<\/p>\n

Dou\u0103 la m\u00e2n\u0103: tu ai un mod de a nu viziona reclame. \u015ei de a sc\u0103pa implicit de reclama mea. Iar acesta se nume\u015fte YouTube Premium \u015fi, da, presupune s\u0103 PL\u0102TE\u015eTI BANI.<\/p>\n

Dar tu, vita care \u00ee\u015fi permit\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 \u015fcoleasc\u0103 pe mine legat de veniturile mele, de parc\u0103 mi-ai oferi tu vreun contract alternativ de publicitate, mai bun dec\u00e2t videochati\u015ftilor, e\u015fti la r\u00e2ndul t\u0103u O CALIC\u0102, O ZG\u00c2RCIT\u0102, O S\u0102R\u0102KIE, care str\u00e2nge din sfinctere la \u0103ia 5 euro pe lun\u0103, pe care i-ai pl\u0103ti pentru YouTube Premium, s\u0103 scapi de toate reclamele.<\/p>\n

Nu faci gestul cel mai la \u00eendem\u00e2n\u0103 pentru a nu vedea reclame, ci m\u0103 deranjezi pe mine. \u015ei aici avem o problem\u0103. Pentru c\u0103 eu nu primesc ordine, \u00een special de la calici \u015fi zg\u00e2rci\u0163i. Pe \u0103ia \u00eei sfidez cu cea mai mare pasiune, pentru c\u0103 \u0103ia chiar nu au nimic de dat niciodat\u0103, prin urmare, nici un fel de temei s\u0103 cear\u0103 vreodat\u0103 ceva.<\/p>\n

Trei la m\u00e2n\u0103: DE UNDE \u00ee\u0163i permi\u0163i tu s\u0103 decizi pentru mine ce m\u0103 face fericit\u0103 \u015fi ce nu? M\u0103 cuno\u015fti de undeva? Ai avut vreodat\u0103 taine cu mine? Cum, nu? Ia hai, mar\u015f \u00een plm.<\/p>\n

\u015ei, iat\u0103, oameni buni, care e problema mea cu religia \u00een special. Se ia o vit\u0103 proast\u0103 ca asta. Proast\u0103 de d\u0103 \u00een gropi. O fomist\u0103 care se zg\u00e2rce\u015fte la 5 euro, c\u00e2t cost\u0103 versiunea premium a lui YouTube.<\/p>\n

\u015ei proasta asta sinistr\u0103, analfabet\u0103, gunoiul \u0103sta lipsit de orice urm\u0103 de logic\u0103, ra\u0163iune \u015fi sim\u0163 al propor\u0163iilor cap\u0103t\u0103, prin enablingul dat de sp\u0103larea pe creier religioas\u0103, entitlementul absolut s\u0103-mi vorbeasc\u0103 mie de undeva de foarte sus, \u015fi s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163e\u00a0 ce m\u0103 face fericit\u0103 \u015fi ce nu.<\/p>\n

Religia le d\u0103 tuturor pro\u015ftilor arogan\u0163\u0103 s\u0103 se dea mari fa\u0163\u0103 de oameni care au mai mult\u0103 vacan\u0163\u0103 dec\u00e2t tot neamul lor de oi b\u0103tute \u00een cap \u015fcoal\u0103.<\/p>\n

Nu, gunoaielor, fa\u0163\u0103 de lepre calice ca tine nu am urm\u0103 de inim\u0103 \u015fi nu \u00eemi propun\u00a0 s\u0103 am. Faci analiza veniturilor mele atunci C\u00c2ND \u00ceMI ADUCI VENITURI MAI MARI. C\u00e2nd nu pui nimic pe mas\u0103, taci \u00een plm, \u015fi \u00eenainte s\u0103 decizi ce m\u0103 face pe mine fericit\u0103, \u00eentreab\u0103-te ce te calific\u0103 pe tine s\u0103 dai lec\u0163ii oricui, despre orice. Ai experien\u0163a de via\u0163\u0103 a unui g\u00e2ndac de cartof, inteligen\u0163a unei g\u0103ini de hal\u0103 \u015fi autonomia unui vagon ruginit de m\u0103rfar.<\/p>\n

Iar Alexandru te va p\u0103r\u0103si de cum \u00eei iese una mai r\u0103s\u0103rit\u0103 \u00een cale. Probabil c\u0103 o s\u0103 te lase \u015fi cu trei puradei de fust\u0103, \u015fi o s\u0103 fii prea tolomac\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eel dai \u00een judecat\u0103 pentru pensie alimentar\u0103.<\/p>\n

De c\u00e2te ori vei avea nevoie disperat\u0103 de bani – \u015fi \u00een general, proastele care vorbesc dispre\u0163uitor despre bani sunt cele mai rupte \u00een c*r \u015fi cele care ajung mereu \u00een situa\u0163ii disperate – promit s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i r\u0103sar \u00een co\u015fmaruri \u015fi s\u0103 r\u00e2d mefistofelic: “\u015etii, g\u0103ino!! Sunt aia pe care ai deranjat-o legat de futilitatea banilor, pentru c\u0103 erai prea avar\u0103 s\u0103 pl\u0103te\u015fti YouTube Premium. Zi, f\u0103, e nasol s\u0103 n-ai de p\u00e2ine? Cum e cu banii care nu te fac fericit\u0103, fomisto? Ahahahaha.”<\/p>\n

OK, glumesc \u015fi de data asta. Nu apar gratuit nici m\u0103car \u00een co\u015fmaruri. Vrei co\u015fmaruri cu mine, negociem bugetul aferent.<\/p>\n

Ce voiam s\u0103 spun cu aceste lungi divaga\u0163ii e s\u0103-\u0163i iei YouTube Premium, dac\u0103 nu vrei reclame, \u015fi s\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai deranjezi cu inep\u0163ii.<\/p>\n

Merci anticipat,<\/p>\n

Lorena.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dar, cum pe sora voastr\u0103 o fac fericit\u0103 numai banii, las asta aici:<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

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Azi, de 1 aprilie, avem o edi\u0163ie special\u0103 de po\u015fta redac\u0163iei. Edi\u0163ia cu pro\u015fti. Eu garantez anonimat persoanelor care scriu cu bun\u0103 credin\u0163\u0103 \u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19136,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21543","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/mailbox1.jpg?fit=750%2C500&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21543","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21543"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21543\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21547,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21543\/revisions\/21547"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19136"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21543"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21543"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21543"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}