{"id":21644,"date":"2021-04-24T12:11:04","date_gmt":"2021-04-24T09:11:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=21644"},"modified":"2021-04-24T12:11:04","modified_gmt":"2021-04-24T09:11:04","slug":"supteliile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/supteliile\/","title":{"rendered":"Supteliile"},"content":{"rendered":"

Veneam eu de la magazin, bine aprovizionat\u0103, c\u0103 nah, se \u00eenchide totul la 18, \u00een plm, \u0219i nu am chef s\u0103-mi pl\u00e2ng\u0103 motanul de foame. C\u00e2nd intru \u00een bloc, v\u0103d dou\u0103 vecine \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103, care conversau. \u0218i zice una:<\/p>\n

-Sper s\u0103 nu plou\u0103, c\u0103 vreau s\u0103 \u00eengrijesc florile, c\u0103 a\u0219a se face de Florii.<\/p>\n

A\u0219a se face de Florii. C\u00e2nd am auzit fraza asta, am v\u0103zut ro\u0219u.<\/p>\n

Am o alergie cu strig\u0103turi la “a\u015fa se face”, la “\u0103sta e obiceiul”, la “se \u0163ine post vinerea”, la “nu se spal\u0103 duminica”, la “s\u0103 fii mai bun de s\u0103rb\u0103tori”, tot at\u00e2tea cli\u015fee obosite, f\u0103r\u0103 sens, create de oameni cu idei pu\u021bine \u0219i fixe s\u0103 aib\u0103 baz\u0103 s\u0103 le vorbeasc\u0103 de sus altora.<\/p>\n

Cine te \u021bine s\u0103 \u00eengrije\u0219ti florile \u00een fiecare zi, s\u0103 fii bun \u00een fiecare zi, s\u0103 speli c\u00e2nd vrea pu\u0219ca ta \u0219i s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti liber?<\/p>\n

Ah, stai. Te \u021bine faptul c\u0103 e\u0219ti tu prost de bubui.<\/p>\n

Mbun.<\/p>\n

\u0218i atunci, lansez un apel public. A\u0219 vrea s\u0103-i pitch-uiesc domnului Titus Steel un scenariu de film porno. Care \u00eel \u0219ti\u021bi, trimite\u021bi-i acest articol.<\/p>\n

Supteliile\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mitzi \u0219i Ritzi discut\u0103 \u00een fa\u021ba blocului. Sunt \u00eengrijorate c\u0103 vine s\u0103rb\u0103toarea Supteliilor, ziua \u00een care, dac\u0103 nu sugi p*** dup\u0103 datin\u0103, o s\u0103 ai ghinion tot anul. Pe Mitzi tocmai a p\u0103r\u0103sit-o iubi, pentru c\u0103 a \u021bipat numele altuia. (Cut to scen\u0103.) Ritzi \u0219i-a prins ea iubitul cu o alt\u0103 femeie. (Cut to scen\u0103.)<\/p>\n

Se \u00eent\u00e2lnesc cu doamna Frusina, vecina, care le ia cu arogan\u021be, \u0103h\u0103\u0103\u0103, maic\u0103, pe vremea mea se respecta datina, te sculai la 4 diminea\u021ba s\u0103 sugi p*la dup\u0103 datin\u0103, nu acum, c\u00e2nd tineretul din ziua de azi nici nu \u0219tie tehnic\u0103 de deep throat cum se cuvine. Exact \u00een momentul \u0103la trece un oarecare pe strad\u0103. Doamna Frusina \u00eel opre\u0219te, \u00eei desface \u0219li\u021bul \u0219i zice pe un ton \u00een\u021belept:<\/p>\n

-Uite a\u0219a se suge p**a, g\u00e2sculi\u021belor. \u00cenv\u0103\u021ba\u021bi de la \u0103i b\u0103tr\u00e2ni.<\/p>\n

Dar, dup\u0103 o secven\u021b\u0103 lungu\u021b\u0103 de deep throat, doamna Frusina d\u0103 ochii peste cap \u0219i cade pe jos, inert\u0103. Gigelul care se extazia \u00een diverse moduri se sperie \u0219i o rupe la fug\u0103. Fetele sun\u0103 la salvare. Vin b\u0103ie\u021bii, o resusciteaz\u0103 pe doamna Frusina cu un gang bang. La final, ea, revigorat\u0103, strig\u0103:<\/p>\n

-Vede\u021bi, fraierelor, eu am respectat datina str\u0103bun\u0103. O s\u0103 am noroc tot anul. Voi?<\/p>\n

Mitzi \u0219i Ritzi se duc acas\u0103 \u0219i comand\u0103 pizza. Vine pizza, dar \u021beap\u0103, o aduce o femeie.<\/p>\n

\u0218i mai sup\u0103rate, cheam\u0103 instalatorul. Tsss, \u021beap\u0103, \u0219i instalatorul e tot o femeie. Dar una mai butch, mai cu tatuaje, care face cu ele un threesome, apoi o f** pe Mitzi cu un m\u00e2ner de ciocan \u0219i pe Ritzi cu o cheie francez\u0103.<\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 aceast\u0103 experien\u021b\u0103, Mitzi \u0219i Ritzi ajung la concluzia c\u0103 asta e, nu po\u021bi avea noroc \u00een fiecare an, \u0219i se preg\u0103tesc s\u0103 se culce.<\/p>\n

Dar exact atunci se despic\u0103 cerurile, \u0219i tavanele, \u0219i se pogoar\u0103 peste ele \u00eensu\u0219i Titus Steel \u00eentr-o aur\u0103 argintie.<\/p>\n

-Fiicele mele, am auzit suferin\u021ba voastr\u0103 \u0219i mi-am f\u0103cut mil\u0103 de voi, s\u0103 pute\u021bi respecta datina str\u0103bun\u0103 a Supteliilor. Lua\u021bi aceast\u0103 p**\u0103 m\u0103rea\u021b\u0103 \u0219i aspira\u021bi-o ca pe ultima suflare.<\/p>\n

Mitzi \u0219i Ritzi, p\u0103trunse de evlavie, cad \u00een genunchi. Apoi, a\u0219a c\u0103zute \u00een genunchi, fac o fela\u021bie apoteotic\u0103 la dublu. Muzic\u0103 pe fundal: cor de heruvimi \u0219i serafimi.<\/p>\n

Final.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

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Veneam eu de la magazin, bine aprovizionat\u0103, c\u0103 nah, se \u00eenchide totul la 18, \u00een plm, \u0219i nu am chef s\u0103-mi pl\u00e2ng\u0103 motanul de...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21645,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/pink-324175_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21644","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21644"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21646,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21644\/revisions\/21646"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}