{"id":21679,"date":"2021-04-29T16:21:38","date_gmt":"2021-04-29T13:21:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=21679"},"modified":"2021-04-29T16:21:38","modified_gmt":"2021-04-29T13:21:38","slug":"posta-redactiei-despre-barbati-nehotarati","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-despre-barbati-nehotarati\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei: Despre b\u0103rba\u021bi nehot\u0103r\u00e2\u021bi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet pe birou@lorenalupu.com. Noi citim, cuget\u0103m \u0219i analiz\u0103m, apoi propunem o solu\u021bie sau d\u0103m o opinie \u00ceNTR-UN ARTICOL PE BLOG.<\/p>\n

Sau \u00een consulta\u0163ie privat\u0103, contra cost.<\/p>\n

Mesajul de azi spune a\u015fa:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bun\u0103, Lorena,<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00ce\u021bi scriu pentru ni\u0219te sfaturi legate de dating. Am v\u0103zut recent c\u0103 recomandai unei cititoare s\u0103 fug\u0103 de Tinder m\u00e2nc\u00e2nd p\u0103m\u00e2ntul. Eram curioas\u0103 de ce \u2013 dac\u0103 eu sunt un om ok \u0219i sunt acolo, de ce nu a\u0219 putea g\u0103si \u0219i un b\u0103rbat ok? Mai ales acum, pe pandemie, c\u00e2nd lumea \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 stea safe, ar avea sens s\u0103 fie o varietate mai mare de tipologii de oameni pe app-uri de genul \u0103sta, nu doar cei interesa\u021bi strict de … sport.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Am cunoscut multe persoane ok online anul \u0103sta. Oameni smart, interesan\u021bi, cu un umor mi\u0219to, oameni calzi. Cu unii \u021bin \u00eenc\u0103 leg\u0103tura, de\u0219i nu a ie\u0219it ce am fi vrut, \u0219i ne povestim chestii, ne sus\u021binem, chiar m-am ales cu c\u00e2teva prietenii care \u00eemi sunt dragi. Pare \u00eens\u0103 c\u0103 e un pattern care se repet\u0103. Mul\u021bi oamenii cu depresii, oameni speria\u021bi ca nu cumva s\u0103 fie r\u0103ni\u021bi, oameni care se prind c\u0103 de fapt nu sunt preg\u0103ti\u021bi de ceva adev\u0103rat, de\u0219i credeau c\u0103 asta vor. The type of guy I tend to fall for se prinde dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva \u00eent\u00e2lniri at best (sau dup\u0103 luni \u0219i luni de discu\u021bii, \u00een cazuri mai pu\u021bin fericite), c\u0103 are de lucrat la el, c\u0103 nu \u00eei e tocmai ok \u0219i c\u0103 nu se poate b\u0103ga \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie. O parte din ei se apuc\u0103 de terapie, deci e \u0219i asta o mic\u0103 victorie.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Nu reu\u0219esc deloc s\u0103 \u00eei miros de la \u00eenceput.. Eu cel pu\u021bin nu intru \u00een discu\u021bii dac\u0103 nu sunt cu adev\u0103rat disponibil\u0103, c\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u0103 ar fi degeaba \u2013 and I owe myself a real shot at things. \u0218i \u00eei iau, r\u00e2nd pe r\u00e2nd, \u0219i ajungem s\u0103 ne povestim chestii personale, vise, frici, dorin\u021be, dezam\u0103giri, ajung s\u0103 \u00eei \u0219tiu cu bune \u0219i cu rele, \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 simt apropiat\u0103 de ei, \u00een multe cazuri e \u0219i chimie mi\u0219to c\u00e2nd ne vedem, \u0219i apoi \u00eemi primesc un\u00a0<\/span>“eu de fapt m-am prins c\u0103<\/span>\u00a0nu sunt disponibil”. \u0218i simt c\u0103 obosesc.. obosesc s\u0103 fiu mereu deschis\u0103 \u0219i empatic\u0103 \u0219i vulnerabil\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 mi-o iau \u00een frez\u0103 de la to\u021bi nehot\u0103r\u00e2\u021bii.. Ai vreun radar pentru oamenii de genul \u0103sta? C\u0103 radar pentru wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am am, dar\u00a0\u0103\u0219tia de care zic chiar \u00ee\u0219i bat \u0219i ei capul, they are not in for the effortless sex… Ce \u00eemi scap\u0103?<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n
Ca short bio, am 30 de ani, pe picioarele mele, I love my job, I love my cat, am ceva hobbiuri…nu sunt o tip\u0103 clingy, with crazy chick vibes, \u0219i nici genul care s\u0103 aib\u0103 nevoie ca cineva s\u0103 aib\u0103 grij\u0103 de ea. Dar am avut c\u00e2teva rela\u021bii reu\u0219ite \u0219i lini\u0219tite, \u0219tiu cum e c\u00e2nd \u021bi-e bine \u00een doi – \u0219i mi-e dor de a\u0219a ceva, de construit \u0219i de visat cu cineva.<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n

Mersi mult pentru sfat,<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

X.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Drag\u0103 X.,<\/p>\n

Din scurta mea experien\u021b\u0103 legat\u0103 de Tinder, e cancer pur, genul de aplica\u021bie de care nu m-a\u0219 mai atinge nici dac\u0103 a\u0219 primi sponsorizare de la ei \u00een fiecare lun\u0103. Mi se pare c\u0103 e\u0219ti mai c\u00e2\u0219tigat\u0103 dac\u0103 ai cont pe LiveJasmin. Aceea\u0219i gher\u021boial\u0103 agasant\u0103, dar m\u0103car renteaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

De ce, dac\u0103 tu e\u0219ti om ok, bla bla etc? Pentru c\u0103 via\u021ba nu e dreapt\u0103. Nu scrie nic\u0103ieri c\u0103 oamenii ok vor primi chestii ok la schimb. Mentalitatea multor utilizatori de Tinder legat\u0103 de dating e “ce mai f***m azi cu minimum de efort”, \u015fi r\u0103spunsul final e: Pe m\u0103-ta, gigele.<\/p>\n

Acum, c\u0103 am l\u0103murit-o pe asta, hai s\u0103 trecem la ceea ce te preocup\u0103 de fapt. \u0218i anume, de ce dai de nehot\u0103r\u00e2\u021bi.<\/p>\n

\u00centrebarea mea este: nu cumva se “nehot\u0103r\u0103sc” strict \u00een privin\u0163a ta?<\/p>\n

Nu caut s\u0103 te jignesc sau s\u0103 te descurajez. \u00ce\u0163i doresc tot binele \u015fi vreau s\u0103 fii fericit\u0103. Dar ce m\u0103 pune pe mine pe g\u00e2nduri e acest: \u0218i \u00eei iau, r\u00e2nd pe r\u00e2nd, \u0219i ajungem s\u0103 ne povestim chestii personale, vise, frici, dorin\u021be, dezam\u0103giri, ajung s\u0103 \u00eei \u0219tiu cu bune \u0219i cu rele, \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 simt apropiat\u0103 de ei, \u00een multe cazuri e \u0219i chimie mi\u0219to c\u00e2nd ne vedem, \u0219i apoi \u00eemi primesc un\u00a0<\/span>“eu de fapt m-am prins c\u0103<\/span> nu sunt disponibil”.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Poate c\u0103 \u00eei obose\u015fti foarte repede \u015fi de prea devreme cu filozofia chibritului.<\/p>\n

Vezi tu, primele dates ar trebui s\u0103 fie fun. S\u0103 creeze o conexiune. S\u0103 creeze familiaritate, relaxare \u015fi bun\u0103 dispozi\u0163ie. E un date cu un poten\u0163ial amoros, nu o vizit\u0103 la psiholog.<\/p>\n

Dar multe femei, de team\u0103 s\u0103 nu fie luate drept \u0163inte u\u015foare, duc discu\u0163ia spre abisuri suflete\u015fti \u015fi analiza sentimentului inefabil al umanit\u0103\u0163ii discrete, \u00eens\u0103 omniprezente. E un tip de \u00eencercare de a impresiona, care uneori d\u0103 rezultatele gre\u015fite.<\/p>\n

Da, gigel vrea s\u0103 te cunoasc\u0103 mai bine, da, \u00ee\u015fi dore\u015fte o prezen\u0163\u0103 feminin\u0103 agreabil\u0103 \u00een via\u0163a lui. Ceea ce NU \u00ee\u015fi dore\u015fte este senza\u0163ia c\u0103 s-a \u00eenscris la un colocviu de psihanaliz\u0103.<\/p>\n

Tu \u00eei dai \u00eenainte cu fibra superioar\u0103 a umanit\u0103\u0163ii angoasate, iar \u00een mintea lui se contureaz\u0103 timid \u00eentrebarea: Oare o s\u0103 m\u0103 ia cu de-astea \u015fi diminea\u0163a, \u00eenainte de prima cafea sau vineri seara dup\u0103 ce am scos-o \u00een ora\u015f \u015fi \u00eemi doresc doar o partid\u0103 de sex r\u0103v\u0103\u015fitor?<\/p>\n

“\u015ei ce s\u0103 fac, Lorena, s\u0103 nu mai analizez analize?”<\/p>\n

Nu din prima. Cam cum recomand b\u0103rba\u0163ilor s\u0103 nu solicite o mu** la primul date, c\u0103 sperie femeia, recomand \u015fi femeilor s\u0103 nu desf\u0103\u015foare tot arsenalul de \u00een\u0163elepciuni la primul date, c\u0103 sperie bietul om.<\/p>\n

Chill and relax.<\/p>\n

Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103,<\/p>\n

Lorena.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21682,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/doctor.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21679"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21679\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21683,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21679\/revisions\/21683"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21682"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}