{"id":21691,"date":"2021-05-01T09:01:03","date_gmt":"2021-05-01T06:01:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=21691"},"modified":"2021-05-01T09:01:03","modified_gmt":"2021-05-01T06:01:03","slug":"am-fost-la-shopping-la-7-dimineata","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/am-fost-la-shopping-la-7-dimineata\/","title":{"rendered":"Am fost la shopping la 7 diminea\u021ba"},"content":{"rendered":"

Eu nu le am cu religia, drept care mi se f\u00e2lf\u00e2ie de s\u0103rb\u0103tori. Noroc c\u0103 am \u0219i eu o mam\u0103, care m\u0103 \u021bine updatat\u0103. \u0218i m\u0103 sun\u0103 maic\u0103-mea.<\/p>\n

-\u021ai-ai \u00eenro\u0219it ou\u0103le?<\/p>\n

-Da, \u00een s\u00e2nge de hater internautic. Le-am plimbat prin gurile fraierilor, de ce?<\/p>\n

-De Pa\u0219te!!<\/p>\n

Ah, f***. Weekendul \u0103sta erau. La naibaaa. Asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 magazine \u00eenchise.<\/p>\n

Drept care, azi la 7 diminea\u021ba, sora voastr\u0103 a f\u0103cut exact ceea ce se jurase s\u0103 nu fac\u0103, no matter what. Anticip\u00e2nd m\u0103cel tradi\u021bional rom\u00e2nesc de s\u0103rb\u0103tori prin magazine de la ore omene\u0219ti \u00eencolo, a pus de\u0219tept\u0103tor la 6.30 \u0219i s-a dus s\u0103 se aprovizioneze. Nu cu chestii pascale, pentru c\u0103, sincer, nu \u00eemi place drobul de miel, ou\u0103le le prefer normale iar cozonacul \u00eengra\u0219\u0103, ci cu cele necesare casei \u00een zilele \u00een care magazinele sunt \u00eenchise.<\/p>\n

Evident, a fost nevoie de o halb\u0103 de cafea pentru a fi func\u021bional\u0103. \u0218i prin halb\u0103, I mean actual f***ing halb\u0103. A fost o promo\u021bie la o bere, care n-a pl\u0103tit-o pe sora voastr\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 publicitate, drept care, numele ei va r\u0103m\u00e2ne o tain\u0103. \u0218i oamenii au \u00eemp\u0103r\u021bit \u0219i halbe. Eu sunt b\u0103utor de vin ro\u0219u sec. \u0218i vinul ro\u0219u sec nu se bea \u00een cantit\u0103\u021bi, ci \u00een calit\u0103\u021bi. Drept care, halba berarilor no\u0219tri a r\u0103mas pe post de recipient pentru cafea pentru dimine\u021bi extrem de dificile.<\/p>\n

Magazinul era cum nu se poate mai aerisit la 7 \u0219i un sfert. Libertate, \u00eenainte de toate. Nu te ciocneai de toate vacile agasante proptite \u00een dreptul unui raft de parc\u0103 era magazinul lor personal \u0219i numai ele aveau cump\u0103r\u0103turi de f\u0103cut acolo. Sau de gigeii cu Nu v\u0103 sup\u0103ra\u021bi, \u00eemi spune\u021bi unde sunt lactatele? Acolo. Dar num\u0103rul dvs. de telefon? \u00cen p*** la mama dvs., de ce?<\/p>\n

Inclusiv lucr\u0103torii din magazine erau mai chill \u0219i mai pu\u021bin cople\u0219i\u021bi, ceea ce automat presupune c\u0103 aveau mai mult\u0103 disponibilitate pentru a te ajuta.<\/p>\n

Mbuuun.<\/p>\n

Aprovizionarea era proasp\u0103t f\u0103cut\u0103, ceea ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 g\u0103seai de toate. \u0218i vinul t\u0103u preferat, \u0219i superofertele actuale, \u0219i m\u00e2ncarea de pisici care ne place mai mult, \u0219i chestii la reducere, din alimentele perisabile care ar fi expirat m\u00e2ine \u0219i poim\u00e2ine.<\/p>\n

Pe la zece, c\u00e2nd se deschide robinetul de “Colebil \u015fi Triferment v\u0103 ureaz\u0103 s\u0103rb\u0103tori fericite”, toate acestea vor fi istorie.<\/p>\n

\u015ei-a cump\u0103rat sora voastr\u0103 tot ce i-a trebuit, cu c\u0103\u015ftile \u00een urechi, ascult\u00e2nd \u015fi ceva muzic\u0103 mi\u015fto, care s\u0103 o ajute s\u0103 nu adoarm\u0103 printre rafturi, apoi s-a rezolvat de una singur\u0103 la self check-out. Pe la opt, a ap\u0103rut primul val de gigei, aka cozi, iar noi prefer\u0103m s\u0103 ne t\u0103iem p*la, s-o rul\u0103m \u00een aluat fraged \u015fi s-o pr\u0103jim \u00een baie de ulei, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 st\u0103m vreodat\u0103 la vreo coad\u0103.<\/p>\n

Am ajuns acas\u0103 aprovizionat\u0103, am hr\u0103nit motanul. \u0102la m\u0103 a\u015ftepta total \u015focat de aceast\u0103 plecare inopinat\u0103 la o or\u0103 nefireasc\u0103 \u015fi a \u00eenceput pe un ton agresiv \u015fi autoritar.<\/p>\n

-Mrrrrauuuu mrrrauuuuuuuuu!!<\/p>\n

-\u015etii ceva? Dac\u0103 vrei papa, schimbi tonul sau stai fl\u0103m\u00e2nd, nesim\u0163itule. La cine crezi tu c\u0103 urli?<\/p>\n

S-a \u00eentins la picioarele mele, \u015fi-a frecat capul de \u015foset\u0103:<\/p>\n

-Meeeuuu, a mieunat \u00eencet \u015fi sub\u0163irel.<\/p>\n

-Vezi, a\u015fa se vorbe\u015fte cu singura femeie din via\u0163a ta.<\/p>\n

L-am hr\u0103nit cu piept de pui rotisat, preferatul lui. \u015ei \u00een timp ce scriu aceste r\u00e2nduri, m\u0103 schimb \u00een pijama \u015fi m\u0103 culc la loc.<\/p>\n

Pa\u015fte fericit.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eu nu le am cu religia, drept care mi se f\u00e2lf\u00e2ie de s\u0103rb\u0103tori. Noroc c\u0103 am \u0219i eu o mam\u0103, care m\u0103 \u021bine updatat\u0103....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21692,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21691","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/shopping-cart.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21691","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21691"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21691\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21693,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21691\/revisions\/21693"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21692"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}