{"id":21714,"date":"2021-05-05T10:21:19","date_gmt":"2021-05-05T07:21:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=21714"},"modified":"2021-05-05T10:21:19","modified_gmt":"2021-05-05T07:21:19","slug":"oamenii-trebuie-lasati-sa-copilareasca","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/oamenii-trebuie-lasati-sa-copilareasca\/","title":{"rendered":"Oamenii trebuie l\u0103sa\u021bi s\u0103 copil\u0103reasc\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"

Acum c\u00e2teva zile, am primit un mail \u00een po\u0219ta redac\u021biei<\/a>.<\/strong> O fat\u0103 care era combinat\u0103 cu “b\u0103iatul bun”, pe care \u00eel alesese ra\u0163ional, dar de care nu era atras\u0103 \u015fi cu care nu era compatibil\u0103. Cred c\u0103 \u00eemi \u015fi scrisese cu speran\u0163a nem\u0103rturisit\u0103: soro, dac\u0103 nu-i placi, f\u0103-i v\u00e2nt.<\/p>\n

Eu nu mi-a\u015f putea petrece fiecare zi din via\u0163\u0103, nu mi-a\u015f putea \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163i casa, patul \u015fi cele mai intime ore ale zilei cu o persoan\u0103 care s\u0103 nu-mi plac\u0103 foarte, foarte mult. Mi se pare un chin \u015fi o teroare s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i asumi un angajament fa\u0163\u0103 de cineva care nu-\u0163i inspir\u0103 dorin\u0163a de angajament. Cred c\u0103 e un chin de zi cu zi, \u015fi e principala explica\u0163ie a nevrozelor cucoanelor de alt\u0103dat\u0103, prinse \u00een capcana c\u0103s\u0103toriei cu b\u0103rba\u0163i ale\u015fi de p\u0103rin\u0163i sau comunitate.<\/p>\n

S\u0103 \u0163i-o tragi o dat\u0103, de dou\u0103 ori, sportiv cu o persoan\u0103 care nu-\u0163i place foarte tare? Treac\u0103-mearg\u0103. Faci un du\u015f \u015fi e\u015fti ca nou.<\/p>\n

Dar s\u0103 \u00eempar\u0163i via\u0163a privat\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 datorezi s\u0103 faci lucruri pentru o persoan\u0103 care nu-\u0163i place foarte tare?<\/p>\n

Mi se pare un chin.<\/p>\n

Aici, o parte din cititorime a s\u0103rit cu pove\u0163e, s\u0103-\u015fi bage min\u0163ile \u00een cap, c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163ii buni sunt rari, s\u0103 aprecieze ce are, c\u0103 a\u015fa nu mai g\u0103se\u015fte \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe.<\/p>\n

Tot acest curent de opinie cu care femei binevoitoare au anihilat de-a lungul istoriei personalitatea, nevoile \u015fi emo\u0163iile reale ale altor femei, \u00eenchiz\u00e2ndu-se unele pe altele \u00eentr-o cu\u015fc\u0103 a sacrificiului inutil \u015fi a sclaviei autoasumate, \u00een numele unui rol social de care oricum nu-i pas\u0103 nim\u0103nui \u00een afar\u0103 de persoana \u00een cauz\u0103. Tot acest curent, cum ziceam, mi se pare extrem de toxic. V\u0103 pl\u00e2nge\u021bi c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii nu v\u0103 respect\u0103, dar totul \u00eencepe cu faptul c\u0103 voi nu v\u0103 respecta\u021bi. Nici pe voi \u00een\u0219iv\u0103, nici una pe alta.<\/p>\n

Unu la m\u00e2n\u0103: E perfect \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 vrei s\u0103 mai copil\u0103re\u015fti. E o perioad\u0103 natural\u0103 de explorare, autodescoperire \u015fi autodefinire, care ajut\u0103 pe fiecare persoan\u0103, b\u0103rbat sau femeie, s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 care sunt lucrurile de care are cu adev\u0103rat nevoie de la un partener sau o partener\u0103. Surpriz\u0103: uneori, aceste lucruri pot fi diferite de la om la om. Unele femei spun c\u0103 ur\u0103sc s\u0103 aud\u0103 solu\u0163ii c\u00e2nd se v\u0103ic\u0103resc, vor doar comp\u0103timire. Eu c\u00e2nd expun cuiva o problem\u0103, o fac pentru c\u0103 mizez pe faptul c\u0103 \u00eemi propune solu\u0163ii. C\u00e2t timp comp\u0103timirea nu pl\u0103te\u015fte p\u00e2inea la magazin, m\u0103 p*\u015f pe ea.<\/p>\n

Tot copil\u0103reala \u00ee\u015fi are rolul de formare a \u00eencrederii \u00een sine \u015fi a arsenalului de seduc\u0163ie specific \u0163ie, ca om adult s\u0103n\u0103tos. Nu, nu te na\u015fti cu el \u015fi nu \u015ftii cum s\u0103 provoci atrac\u0163ie \u015fi pasiune. Din diverse experien\u0163e \u00ee\u0163i formezi skillul \u0103sta, care te ajut\u0103 la maturitate, hopefully, s\u0103 MEN\u0162II atrac\u0163ie \u015fi pasiune \u00eentr-un cuplu deja stabil.<\/p>\n

De aceea multe cupluri ajung la divor\u0163. Membrii lor nu au habar s\u0103 men\u0163in\u0103 atrac\u0163ia \u015fi pasiunea. O dat\u0103 ob\u0163inut\u0103 persoana, nu mai fugi dup\u0103 tren dac\u0103 l-ai prins. \u0218i a\u0219a se ajunge la dou\u0103 situa\u021bii: c\u00e2nd cei doi nu mai \u021bin minte pe ce dracu legale erau c\u00e2nd s-au combinat, drept care, se despart viforos, sau c\u00e2nd nu se mai suport\u0103 c\u00e2tu\u0219i de pu\u021bin, dar au afaceri \u0219i copii \u00een comun.<\/p>\n

O prieten\u0103 fericit\u0103 \u00een c\u0103s\u0103torie \u00eemi povestea cum,, dup\u0103 o zi de munc\u0103, se preg\u0103tea s\u0103 plece \u0219i se aranja \u00een oglind\u0103. A v\u0103zut-o o coleg\u0103 \u0219i a \u00eentrebat-o de ce se face frumoas\u0103. I-a r\u0103spuns c\u0103 vine so\u021bul s-o ia de la munc\u0103 cu ma\u0219ina. \u0218i aia: P\u0103i, e deja b\u0103rbatu-tu, de ce te mai aranjezi?<\/p>\n

De men\u021bionat: prietena mea e genul de fat\u0103 care a tr\u0103it \u0219i a copil\u0103rit c\u00e2t a avut nevoie, drept care a \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 dac\u0103 vrei ca un b\u0103rbat s\u0103 fie fascinat de tine \u00een continuare, trebuie s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i fascinant\u0103, iar ailalt\u0103. Mna. O tanti \u0219i ea.<\/p>\n

Tot copil\u0103reala \u0219i experimentatul te \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 un lucru extrem de important: S\u0102 AI STANDARDE. C\u00e2nd eram mic\u0103, poate c\u0103 m\u0103 puteai prosti c\u0103 e normal ca un b\u0103rbat s\u0103 fie b\u0103d\u0103ran. De\u0219i \u021bin minte c\u0103, uit\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 la lipsa de respect cu care tata o trata pe mama, m\u0103 \u00eentrebam de ce nu \u00eel pune s\u0103-\u0219i fac\u0103 m\u00e2ncare \u0219i curat singur. Aveam mai multe standarde la patru ani dec\u00e2t avea ea ca adult\u0103.<\/p>\n

Dar cu experien\u021ba, te prinzi c\u0103 NU AI NICI UN MOTIV SUB SOARE S\u0102 TOLEREZI B\u0102D\u0102R\u0102NIE, \u0219i c\u0103 \u021bi-e mai bun celibatul asumat dec\u00e2t un mariaj oribil, unde ai toate obliga\u021biile specifice unei c\u0103s\u0103torite, dar zero beneficii. \u0218i ajungi \u00een punctul \u00een\u021belept \u00een care te prinzi din timp c\u0103 o rela\u021bie nu are \u0219anse s\u0103 fie ce \u021bi-ai dori \u0219i pui stop acolo unde una mai neexperimentat\u0103 ar c\u0103uta iar, \u0219i iar, \u0219i iar, s\u0103-i demonstreze lui Gigel ce persoan\u0103 minunat\u0103 este, c\u0103 poate \u00eel mi\u0219c\u0103. Iar Gigel ar profita cu neru\u0219inare de asta.<\/p>\n

\u0218i \u00eenc\u0103 un punct foarte important:\u00a0asumarea unei obliga\u021bii c\u00e2nd nu e\u0219ti cu adev\u0103rat preg\u0103tit pentru ea se va r\u0103zbuna mai t\u00e2rziu.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

De aceea vezi oameni c\u0103s\u0103tori\u021bi din liceu divor\u021b\u00e2nd la 40 de ani \u0219i chefuind la c\u00e2rcium\u0103 cu zece lucr\u0103toare sexuale sub 20 de ani. Sau neveste p\u0103r\u0103site la 40 de ani pentru una mai t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 c\u0103z\u00e2nd \u00een patima b\u0103uturii \u0219i f\u0103c\u00e2nd sex noapte de noapte cu altcineva. E un mecanism compensator mult mai trist \u0219i cu efecte mai negative dec\u00e2t asumarea cinstit\u0103 a faptului c\u0103 mai ai de copil\u0103rit \u00eenainte s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi asumi responsabilit\u0103\u021bi mari.<\/p>\n

Nu mai constr\u00e2nge\u021bi femei tinere s\u0103 duc\u0103 vie\u021bi ur\u00e2te \u0219i triste, doar pentru c\u0103 voi a\u021bi f\u0103cut-o.<\/p>\n

B\u0103rba\u021bii buni nu sunt chiar at\u00e2t de rari, \u0219i chiar dac\u0103, mai \u00eencolo, nu g\u0103se\u0219ti unul, singur\u0103tatea e oric\u00e2nd preferabil\u0103 unei c\u0103s\u0103torii ratate. Multora le place s\u0103 abereze despre c\u00e2t de nebun\u0103 e femeia singur\u0103 cu pisici, dar pu\u021bini admit c\u00e2t de dezechilibrat\u0103 \u0219i profund nefericit\u0103 e femeia m\u0103ritat\u0103 cu un b\u0103rbat nepotrivit.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Acum c\u00e2teva zile, am primit un mail \u00een po\u0219ta redac\u021biei. O fat\u0103 care era combinat\u0103 cu “b\u0103iatul bun”, pe care \u00eel alesese ra\u0163ional, dar...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20323,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/dans.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21714"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21714\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21717,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21714\/revisions\/21717"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20323"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}