{"id":21767,"date":"2021-05-13T10:04:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-13T07:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=21767"},"modified":"2021-05-13T10:04:00","modified_gmt":"2021-05-13T07:04:00","slug":"posta-redactiei-in-pat-cu-exul-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-in-pat-cu-exul-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei: \u00cen pat cu exul"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet pe birou@lorenalupu.com. Noi citim, cuget\u0103m \u0219i analiz\u0103m, apoi propunem o solu\u021bie sau d\u0103m o opinie \u00ceNTR-UN ARTICOL PE BLOG.<\/p>\n<p>Sau \u00een consulta\u0163ie privat\u0103, contra cost.<\/p>\n<p>Mesajul de azi spune a\u015fa:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bun\u0103, Lorena! <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Am o poveste lung\u0103 \u0219i complicat\u0103, dac\u0103 ai r\u0103bdare sa cite\u0219ti p\u00e2n\u0103 la cap\u0103t.<\/strong><\/p>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><strong>Am 20 de ani, am avut o rela\u021bie de un an cu un b\u0103iat ( 24 de ani) minunat, in care am fost f ferici\u021bi amandoi, ne am completat \u0219i ne am f\u0103cut unul altuia vie\u021bile mai frumoase. Rela\u021bia a durat din vara 2019 pana in vara 2020. Asta vara, pe fondul mai multor probleme ap\u0103rute la mine (examene, restric\u021bii de la parinti), care m au f\u0103cut pe mine s\u0103 fiu pu\u021bin mai absent\u0103 o vreme. el a f\u0103cut o pasiune pentru o prieten\u0103 veche \u0219i a vrut s\u0103 se culce cu ea. Mi a spus s\u0103 o termin\u0103m \u00eenainte s\u0103 fac\u0103 orice cu ea, a fost deschis \u0219i corect fa\u021b\u0103 de mine, lucru de apreciat, a zis c\u0103 nu a vrut s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00een\u0219ele sau s\u0103 m\u0103 mint\u0103 cu nimic. Eu am suferit enorm din cauza desp\u0103r\u021birii, credeam c\u0103 e sufletul meu pereche (insera\u021bi cli\u0219ee de adolescent\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103gostit\u0103 aici).\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><strong>Am lucrat mult la mine de c\u00e2nd ne am desp\u0103r\u021bit, am evoluat pe toate planurile, am intrat la medicin\u0103, am plecat din ora\u0219ul unde locuiam am\u00e2ndoi, mi-am dat seama c\u0103 lumea nu \u00eencepe \u0219i se termin\u0103 cu el \u0219i c\u0103 orizontul meu de acum \u00eencolo e mult mai larg dec\u00e2t or\u0103\u0219elul de provincie \u0219i rela\u021bia cu el. Am avut interac\u021biuni cu tot felul de b\u0103rba\u021bi, ultimul dintre ei chiar peste fostul meu din multe privin\u021be ( din p\u0103cate n-a mers din alte motive ). Una peste alta, am ajuns la concluzia c\u0103 pot \u0219i merit mai mult dec\u00e2t fostul \u0219i c\u0103, dac\u0103 voi fi deschis\u0103 la nou, voi primi.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><strong>Cu tipa aia din var\u0103 a durat pu\u021bin, s a terminat, el \u0219i-a f\u0103cut alt\u0103 rela\u021bie care p\u0103rea serioas\u0103 (dar s a dovedit ca nu era ce trebuie) \u0219i \u00een acest timp a mai \u00eencercat s\u0103 m\u0103 caute, dar mereu l-am respins, deoarece \u00eenc\u0103 \u021bineam la el \u0219i-mi era team\u0103 c\u0103, dac\u0103 vom avea iar leg\u0103tura, m\u0103 voi \u00eemp\u0103ca cu el. \u00centre timp, dup\u0103 ultima experien\u021b\u0103, chiar am sim\u021bit c\u0103 am trecut peste el, deoarece mi s-a demonstrat c\u0103 pot avea b\u0103rba\u021bi mai mi\u0219to. Fostul m-a c\u0103utat iar \u0219i, fiind sigur\u0103 pe mine c\u0103 am trecut peste, i-am r\u0103spuns \u0219i am ie\u0219it cu el. Am vorbit despre ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat \u00een var\u0103, mi-a spus c\u0103 regret\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 de aia voia s\u0103 ne vedem, s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 c\u00e2t de r\u0103u \u00eei pare etc. La momentul respectiv mi s-a p\u0103rut c\u0103 putem fi prieteni, c\u0103 am crescut am\u00e2ndoi separat \u0219i c\u0103, \u00een ceea ce m\u0103 prive\u0219te pe mine, nu mai e b\u0103rbatul pe care mi-l doresc. El a avut o atitudine de tipul &#8220;eu n-am plecat la drum cu nicio inten\u021bie, vedem cum evolueaz\u0103&#8221;,\u00a0 \u00een sensul \u00een care nu e chitit neap\u0103rat s\u0103 ne \u00eemp\u0103c\u0103m, dar \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103, dac\u0103 a\u0219 vrea, el ar fi de acord. Momentan suntem \u00eentr-o situa\u021bie incert\u0103, ne-am culcat de c\u00e2teva ori, nu suntem nici \u00eempreun\u0103 iar, dar nici f buddy nu pot fi cu el, deoarece l-am iubit prea mult \u0219i nu poate s\u0103 nu m\u0103 intereseze \u0219i dac\u0103 mai vorbe\u0219te cu altele (cum e normal \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie de f buddies).\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><strong>Din partea lui, lucrurile pot evolua \u00een orice direc\u021bie, in sensul \u00een care mi ofer\u0103 mie libertatea de a decide ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 \u00een continuare. Eu nu mai vreau o rela\u021bie cu el, m\u0103 bucur c\u0103 am avut parte de acest closure, mai ales c\u0103 vara nu a vrut s\u0103 ne mai vedem s\u0103 vorbim fa\u021b\u0103 \u00een fa\u021b\u0103, desp\u0103r\u021birea a avut loc prin mesaje. C\u00e2nd l-am intrebat acum de ce a f\u0103cut asta \u00een var\u0103, mi-a spus c\u0103 i-a fost team\u0103 c\u0103, dac\u0103 ne vedem \u0219i vorbim, ne vom \u00eemp\u0103ca \u0219i nu-\u0219i va mai putea face nebunia cu fata aia \u0219i c\u0103 m\u0103 va \u00een\u0219ela, a\u0219a c\u0103 a preferat s\u0103 \u021bin\u0103 distan\u021ba fa\u021b\u0103 de mine.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><strong>Pe de alt\u0103 parte, eu sim\u021beam c\u0103 evoluasem f mult \u0219i acum nu mi place c\u0103 vb iar cu el, simt c\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentorc de unde am plecat. Nici singur\u0103 nu \u00eemi place s\u0103 fiu, nu vreau neap\u0103rat \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie, dar a\u0219a, s\u0103 am un b\u0103iat cu care s\u0103 mai ies s\u0103 mai schimb o vorb\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><strong>Eu l-am sim\u021bit sincer c\u0103 regret\u0103, adev\u0103rul e c\u0103 nu a mai g\u0103sit o fat\u0103 ca mine (nu neap\u0103rat c\u0103 a\u0219 fi eu rupt\u0103 din soare de frumoas\u0103 sau de de\u0219teapt\u0103, ci compatibilitate cum a avut cu mine nu a mai g\u0103sit), i-am explicat c\u0103 problemele de ast\u0103 var\u0103 erau temporare (acum nu mai am examen de admitere la medicin\u0103 \u0219i nici ai mei nu mai sunt deloc restrictivi de c\u00e2nd am intrat la facultate) \u0219i el cu gura lui a zis c\u0103 a fost prost \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i d\u0103 seama.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><strong>\u00centrebarea mea este: s\u0103 lucrez la mine \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 adaptez condi\u021biilor actuale, adic\u0103 s\u0103 iau ce-mi place de la el \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 str\u0103duiesc s\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103gostesc iar (\u00een ideea c\u0103 m\u0103 va ajuta pe viitor s\u0103 nu m\u0103 leg emo\u021bional din prima de orice b\u0103rbat) sau s\u0103 o termin cu el \u0219i s\u0103 a\u0219tept ceva mai bun?\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><strong>X.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Haaai, fat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Nu mi-e clar dac\u0103 te min\u021bi pe tine sau m\u0103 min\u021bi pe mine. Av\u00e2nd \u00een vedere c\u0103 pe mine m\u0103 respec\u021bi,\u00a0 probabil c\u0103 te min\u021bi pe tine.<\/p>\n<p>Tu \u00ceNC\u0102 ai sentimente fa\u021b\u0103 de \u0103sta. Altfel, \u00eei spuneai de la telefon c\u0103 nu ai timp de irosit pe chestii expirate \u0219i c\u0103 \u00eel rogi frumos s\u0103-\u0219i bage scuzele ad\u00e2nc acolo unde nu \u00eel lumineaz\u0103 soarele. O tip\u0103 care a trecut realmente peste un ex tic\u0103los are o satisfac\u021bie s\u0103lbatic\u0103 s\u0103-i dea peste bot, s\u0103-l fac\u0103 pre\u0219 \u0219i ar prefera s\u0103 \u0219i-o trag\u0103 cu cer\u0219etorul din col\u021b dec\u00e2t cu el.<\/p>\n<p>Faza cu &#8220;nu \u00eel mai vreau, dar iau ce \u00eemi convine&#8221; e scutul t\u0103u psihologic pentru posibilitatea c\u0103 \u0103stuia i se mai aprind c\u0103lc\u00e2iele dup\u0103 vreo pi*dulice \u015fi te mai r\u0103ne\u015fte o dat\u0103. Sau de mai multe ori. Realitatea e c\u0103 te culci din nou cu el pentru c\u0103 te hr\u0103ne\u015fti emo\u0163ional din anul \u0103la \u00een care a\u0163i fost \u00eempreun\u0103 \u015fi ai dori \u00een subcon\u015ftient s\u0103 te \u00eentorci acolo.<\/p>\n<p>\u00ce\u0163i spun \u015fi de ce \u00eel \u0163ii a\u015fa. Nici \u00een rela\u0163ie, dar nici pe liber. Pentru c\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 tu ai upper hand, dat fiind c\u0103 te-a \u00een\u015felat ca un bou, \u015fi a\u015fa \u00eel \u0163ii \u00een \u015fah, s\u0103 simt\u0103 c\u0103 te poate pierde u\u015for dac\u0103 mai face o m\u0103g\u0103rie.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei \u00ee\u0163i spun \u015fi ce vrei s\u0103 auzi. Continu\u0103 exact a\u015fa, pentru c\u0103 probabil c\u0103 tipul e mi\u015fto \u015fi probabil c\u0103 face sex fabulos, altfel \u00eei d\u0103deai papucii fluier\u00e2nd. Dar nu-l mai plasa pe soclul exclusivit\u0103\u0163ii, pentru c\u0103 \u0163i-a dat deja red flags c\u0103 nu e de \u00eencredere c\u00e2nd i se pune pata.<\/p>\n<p>Dar dac\u0103 tu \u00ee\u0163i \u0163ii op\u0163iunile deschise, g\u00e2nde\u015fte-te c\u0103 \u00eei dai pretextul perfect s\u0103 le \u0163in\u0103 \u015fi el deschise pe ale lui. \u015ei de la un punct \u00eencolo, se va folosi de asta \u00eempotriva ta. \u015ei tot tu vei suferi.<\/p>\n<p>Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103,<\/p>\n<p>Lorena.<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577 jetpack-lazy-image jetpack-lazy-image--handled\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" data-lazy-loaded=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCCHBtHi6S2GlUFqETH70cjQ\">YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/album\/3ahSP7bHbzcKsWtGDdzRLK\">Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/music.apple.com\/album\/id\/1497428911\"><strong>iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Jet\/dp\/B084DZ4W5J\"><strong>Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Image: <a href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/users\/engin_akyurt-3656355\/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=3804528\">Engin Akyurt<\/a> \/\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=3804528\">Pixabay<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21768,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21767","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/pat.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21767","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21767"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21767\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21769,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21767\/revisions\/21769"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21767"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21767"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21767"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}