“Dup\u0103 patru neveste \u015fi un num\u0103r imposibil de calculat de amante, tot ce vreau e un buton de OFF. DA, DA, DAAAAAA. S\u0103 vin\u0103 robotul. Sper c\u0103 are \u015fi func\u0163ie de deep throat!”<\/p>\n
Taurul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Dac\u0103 nu g\u0103te\u015fte, care mai e farmecul? Cine are chef de sex pe stomacul gol?<\/p>\n Gemenii\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Dac\u0103 nu-\u0163i d\u0103 like la poze pe Instagram, e ca \u015fi cum n-ar fi? De orgasme te mai lipse\u015fti, dar de fanclub, niciodat\u0103!”<\/p>\n Racul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Nu cred c\u0103 se va inventa robotul care s\u0103 te \u0163in\u0103 ginga\u015f de m\u00e2n\u0103, s\u0103 te s\u0103rute suav pe g\u00e2t, s\u0103 se joace cu p\u0103rul t\u0103u \u015fi s\u0103 se uite la tine c\u00e2nd dormi, spun\u00e2ndu-\u0163i c\u0103 e\u015fti prima raz\u0103 de soare care \u00eei lumineaz\u0103 diminea\u0163a. F\u0103r\u0103 romantism, e\u015fti tot single, numai c\u0103 nu \u015ftii. Emoticon cu lacrimi. Emoticon cu inim\u0103 zdrobit\u0103.”<\/p>\n Leul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “\u0102sta e pentru b\u0103rb\u0103tu\u015fii \/ femeiu\u015ftele beta. Care n-au nici o \u015fans\u0103 la un partener, pentru c\u0103 toat\u0103 lumea e ocupat\u0103 s\u0103 viseze la mine. Bravo, tehnologie modern\u0103, c\u0103 oferi solu\u0163ii \u015fi pentru rivalii mei.”<\/p>\n Fecioara\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Numai s\u0103 g\u0103seasc\u0103 gaura. \u00cen cazul meu, a disp\u0103rut de la neutilizare. Oricum, eu prefer un robot care s\u0103 fac\u0103 curat, s\u0103 spele \u015fi s\u0103 g\u0103teasc\u0103.”<\/p>\n Balan\u0163a\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “P\u0103i, da, dar asta nu rezolv\u0103 problema rudelor \u015fi a societ\u0103\u0163ii care te \u00eentreab\u0103 de ce nu-\u0163i g\u0103se\u015fti \u015fi tu pe unu sau una. Tu crezi c\u0103 eu am nevoie de un partener s\u0103 fac sex? Ha! Sex se g\u0103se\u015fte pe toate drumurile. Am nevoie de un partener s\u0103 aib\u0103 cine s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenso\u0163easc\u0103 prin lume.”<\/p>\n Scorpionul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Unii sunt at\u00e2t de insuportabili, \u00eenc\u00e2t prev\u0103d c\u0103 o s\u0103-i ia la b\u0103taie \u015fi robo\u0163ii.”<\/p>\n S\u0103get\u0103torul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “De ce s\u0103 te complici cu un robot \u00eentreg, c\u00e2nd industria vibratoarelor \u00ee\u0163i ofer\u0103 fix esen\u0163ialul, f\u0103r\u0103 futilit\u0103\u0163i care s\u0103 ocupe loc degeaba? Economisi\u0163i curent, oameni buni. Planeta e \u00een pericol!”<\/p>\n Capricornul<\/strong><\/p>\n “\u0102h\u0103\u0103\u0103i, taic\u0103, pe vremea mea se f\u0103cea sex \u00een hambar, pe c\u0103pi\u0163a de f\u00e2n. Dac\u0103 nu sim\u0163i cum \u00ee\u0163i intr\u0103 b\u00e2zd\u00e2g\u0103nii \u00een burta c**ului, nu e dragoste adev\u0103rat\u0103!”<\/p>\n V\u0103rs\u0103torul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Abia a\u015ftept erorile de cod \u015fi func\u0163iile corupte. Abia atunci o s\u0103 devin\u0103 sexul interesant.”<\/p>\n Pe\u015ftii\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Dar dac\u0103 rugine\u015fte \u015fi \u00eemi face bubi\u0163e? Dar dac\u0103 face mucegai de la umezeal\u0103?<\/p>\n \u0102\u0103\u0103\u0103, \u015fi dac\u0103 face scurt circuit \u015fi mori electrocutat, c\u0103lare pe robot? \u015ei nu te g\u0103se\u015fte nimeni trei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni?”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, sus\u0163ine\u0163i activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n *** ***<\/p>\n Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" O categorie de clickbait la care r\u00e2d \u00eentotdeauna e genul de \u0219tire: A ap\u0103rut b\u0103rbatul \/ femeia robot care te va satisface pe deplin...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21933,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/robot.jpg?fit=640%2C384&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21932"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21932\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21934,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21932\/revisions\/21934"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21933"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n