{"id":22037,"date":"2021-07-09T10:22:20","date_gmt":"2021-07-09T07:22:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=22037"},"modified":"2021-07-09T10:22:22","modified_gmt":"2021-07-09T07:22:22","slug":"posta-redactiei-mama-abuziva-se-intoarce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-mama-abuziva-se-intoarce\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei: Mama abuziv\u0103 se \u00eentoarce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet pe birou@lorenalupu.com. Noi citim, cuget\u0103m \u0219i analiz\u0103m, apoi propunem o solu\u021bie sau d\u0103m o opinie \u00ceNTR-UN ARTICOL PE BLOG.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sau \u00een consulta\u0163ie privat\u0103, contra cost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mesajul de azi spune a\u015fa:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Bun\u0103, Lorena,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not\u0103 Lorena: Virgula dintre &#8220;bun\u0103&#8221; \u015fi &#8220;Lorena&#8221; a fost ad\u0103ugat\u0103 de mine. Habar nu am de ce at\u00e2\u0163ia oameni din ziua de azi nu simt c\u0103 e cazul de virgul\u0103 \u00eentre salut \u015fi vocativul care urmeaz\u0103, dar iat\u0103 un anun\u0163 de utilitate public\u0103. Dac\u0103 nu pui virgula, e ca \u015fi cum \u00eemi spui mie c\u0103 sunt bun\u0103ciune. Ceea ce \u015ftim deja \u015fi nu e nevoie de redundan\u0163e. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">E cazul clasic cu &#8220;Mai s\u0103 m\u00e2nc\u0103m, bunica!&#8221; \u015fi &#8220;hai s\u0103 m\u00e2nc\u0103m bunica&#8221;. Save the world. Salveaz-o pe bunic\u0103-ta. Pune virgula \u00eenainte de vocativ, \u00ceN PWLA MEA GRAMMARNAZI, c\u0103 urm\u0103torul mail care vine cu &#8220;Bun\u0103 Lorena&#8221; va primi un r\u0103spuns automat cu &#8220;Bun\u0103 e m\u0103-ta c\u00e2nd \u0163ip\u0103 \u00eenfipt\u0103 anal \u00een strap-onul meu negru \u015fi lucios&#8221;. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><br>Sunt tipa cu mama nebun\u0103 care \u021bi-a scris acum un an. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not\u0103 Lorena: Cu mame abuzive, despotice \u015fi mitomane am nenum\u0103rate po\u015fte ale redac\u0163iei. E unul dintre subiectele preferate ale blogosferei \u015fi, dac\u0103 intri pe grupuri de m\u0103mici, prev\u0103d c\u0103 \u015fi genera\u0163ia urm\u0103toare va avea exact aceea\u015fi problem\u0103. Nu \u015ftiu care dintre ele e a ta, s\u0103 dau link. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Revin cu un update de informa\u021bii, pentru c\u0103 nu am putut aplica solu\u021bia ta total din anumite motive. M-am mutat, sunt pe picioarele mele, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 merg la psiholog, sunt mult mai bine dec\u00e2t epava care \u00ee\u021bi ucidea ochii cu contraste de-ampulea. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u00cenc\u0103 mai am ceva p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 simt perfect ok, dar e clar o evolu\u021bie. A\u0219a cum m-ai sf\u0103tuit, am \u00eencercat \u00een repetate r\u00e2nduri s\u0103-i deschid ochii lui tata la situa\u021bia toxic\u0103 \u00een care am ajuns \u0219i la care se cer m\u0103suri clare. Dar m-am izbit de un zid. Tata nu poate s\u0103 conceap\u0103 s\u0103 ia atitudine \u0219i s\u0103 nu mai permit\u0103 abuzul \u0103sta pentru c\u0103 e un la\u0219 \u0219i se las\u0103 manipulat de prea mult timp de maic\u0103-mea. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>A avut momente rare \u00een care i-a \u00eenchis gura, dar \u00eentr-un mod violent, atunci c\u00e2nd ceda nervos, \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i men\u021bin\u0103 pozi\u021bia. Efectiv vorbesc cu un surd \u0219i nici m\u0103car argumentul c\u0103 \u00eemi distruge fra\u021bii psihic \u0219i pe el nu \u00eel convinge s\u0103 fac\u0103 ceva, argumentul lui fiind c\u0103 nu poate schimba situa\u021bia, c\u0103 nu o poate duce cu for\u021ba la psihiatru \u0219i c\u0103 m\u0103car c\u00e2t poate s\u0103 fie aproape de b\u0103ie\u021bi, plus c\u0103 e cre\u0219tin \u0219i nu se cade. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>C\u0103 dac\u0103 nu \u021bi-am men\u021bionat, ei sunt super religio\u0219i, gen habotnici, \u0219i c\u0103s\u0103toria \u0219i via\u021ba e v\u0103zut\u0103 \u00een general ca o mucenicie prin care \u00ee\u021bi ar\u0103\u021bi virtutea \u0219i ajungi \u00een rai dup\u0103 moarte. Deci \u0219i tata din p\u0103cate e super limitat pe anumite planuri, mai ales c\u0103 la r\u00e2ndul s\u0103u a avut un tat\u0103 extrem de abuziv \u0219i autoritar, deci s-a cam obi\u0219nuit s\u0103 fie tratat a\u0219a, av\u00e2nd doar excese de autoritate din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dac\u0103 i-a\u0219 avea doar pe ei, mi s-ar rupe sincer, pur \u0219i simplu a\u0219 aplica ce ai f\u0103cut cu mama ta. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not\u0103 Lorena: La ce se refer\u0103 autoarea? o s\u0103 \u00eentreba\u0163i. C\u00e2\u0163iva ani, am rupt orice comunicare, am retezat din fa\u015f\u0103 orice tentativ\u0103 de domina\u0163ie \u015fi abuz, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am redefinit rela\u0163ia. \u00cen aceste momente, avem o interac\u0163iune bazat\u0103 pe respect reciproc \u015fi nu \u00ee\u015fi mai permite s\u0103 ridice tonul la mine, pentru c\u0103 \u015ftie c\u0103 vor urma mai multe luni de silenzio stampa, de fiecare dat\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oamenii pot fi abuzivi cu tine doar \u00een m\u0103sura \u00een care le permi\u0163i s\u0103 fie abuzivi. Dac\u0103 setezi limite \u015fi consecin\u0163e, vei beneficia de respect \u015fi amabilitate inclusiv de la oameni pe care nu-i credeai \u00een stare de asta. Sau, pur \u015fi simplu, \u00eei elimini cu totul din via\u0163a ta pe cei care nu prind aluzia fin\u0103 \u015fi tr\u0103ie\u015fti fericit p\u00e2n\u0103 la ad\u00e2nci b\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u0163i. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u015ei dac\u0103 apar pe aici copii din familii fericite s\u0103 \u00eemi povesteasc\u0103 cum p\u0103rin\u0163ii nu \u0163i-i alegi \u015fi blabla, sunt ruga\u0163i s\u0103 m\u0103 pupe a priori \u00een a posteriori. Voi, cei cu copil\u0103rii fericite \u015fi pline de iubire, habar nu ave\u0163i cum e s\u0103 te culci pl\u00e2ng\u00e2nd sear\u0103 de sear\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 meditezi la sinucidere la 10 ani. Zice\u0163i merci lui Dumnezeu c\u0103 nu \u015fti\u0163i cum e \u015fi b\u0103ga\u0163i-v\u0103 pove\u0163ele ad\u00e2nc \u00een locul pe care nu-l vede niciodat\u0103 soarele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dar am fra\u021bii de care \u021bi-am spus de care nu poate s\u0103 mi se rup\u0103. Cel mai mare cel pu\u021bin are tendin\u021be depresive clare, se simte extrem de singur \u0219i \u00eemi spune c\u0103 nu \u0219tie de ce mai tr\u0103ie\u0219te \u0219i doare s\u0103 auzi asta din partea unui adolescent care abia \u0219i-a \u00eenceput via\u021ba. Plus c\u0103 m\u0103 ia groaza c\u00e2nd m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc c\u0103 trec am\u00e2ndoi fix prin ce am trecut \u0219i eu \u0219i sora mea \u0219i pur \u0219i simplu e prea mult. Ce pot s\u0103 fac?<br>Cu mult respect<\/strong>, <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>,X<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Drag\u0103 X., <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00centr-o \u0163ar\u0103 cu servicii reale de protec\u0163ie a copilului, chemai autorit\u0103\u0163ile, \u00eel salvau pe minor \u015fi cre\u015ftea lini\u015ftit \u00eentr-un centru social de ceva tip. Din p\u0103cate, \u00een \u0163ara asta, nu e \u00eenc\u0103 cazul. \u015ei dac\u0103 ajung la putere AUR \u015fi al\u0163i militan\u0163i pentru abuzul familial tradi\u0163ional, Dumnezeu cu mila. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ce po\u0163i face pe moment \u015fi nu cost\u0103 nimic este: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">a) Lucreaz\u0103 mai departe la propria evolu\u0163ie, continu\u0103 s\u0103 munce\u015fti, s\u0103 te pui financiar pe picioare \u015fi s\u0103 fii un om de sine st\u0103t\u0103tor, care se descurc\u0103 de minune. C\u00e2nd ai genul de p\u0103rin\u0163i care din incapabil\u0103, proast\u0103 \u015fi handicapat\u0103 nu te scot, faptul c\u0103 e\u015fti &#8220;perfect f\u0103r\u0103 tine&#8221; e cea mai dulce r\u0103zbunare de care ai nevoie. C\u00e2nd ei te las\u0103 s\u0103 pleci la oha, f\u0103r\u0103 resurse, miz\u00e2nd c\u0103 o s\u0103 te \u00eentorci bocind, cu basca \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103, \u015fi tu nu doar c\u0103 nu te \u00eentorci bocind, dar te descurci mult mai bine dec\u00e2t ei, e  ca o palm\u0103 karmic\u0103 peste bot \u00een fiecare zi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">b) Cheam\u0103-i des \u00een vizit\u0103 pe copii \u015fi d\u0103-le exemplu personal. Uite, frate, eu nu doar c\u0103 nu m-am l\u0103sat strivit\u0103 mintal \u015fi emo\u0163ional de harpie, dar m\u0103 descurc de minune, muncesc, am banii mei. Mai ai pu\u0163in p\u00e2n\u0103 la 18 ani \u015fi po\u0163i face acela\u015fi lucru. Nu mai dureaz\u0103 mult \u015fi o s\u0103 scapi \u015fi tu. It gets better. So much better. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eventual, s\u0103 nu stea acas\u0103, \u00een climat toxic \u015fi urlete, \u00eencurajeaz\u0103-i s\u0103-\u015fi g\u0103seasc\u0103 un mic part-time, s\u0103 c\u00e2\u015ftige \u015fi ni\u015fte bani. \u015etiu c\u0103 familiile habotnice o ard \u00een general pe s\u0103r\u0103kie arogant\u0103 \u015fi pe &#8220;nou\u0103 nu ne trebuie dec\u00e2t iubirea lui Dumnezeu&#8221;, \u00een timp ce fratele t\u0103u adolescent ar vrea mai degrab\u0103 blugii \u0103ia de la H &amp; M \u015fi tricoul de la Zara, s\u0103 dea bine printre colegi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cea mai bun\u0103 terapie pentru un adolescent oprimat e primul lui venit realizat prin for\u0163e proprii. E  ok, nu-mi trebuie bani de la tine, nu mai trec prin ciclul umilin\u0163ei de a m\u0103 milogi pentru 5 lei de-o Cola, \u00eei am pe ai mei. (Da, copii din familii fericite, unii nu doar c\u0103 nu primeam bani din ini\u0163iativa p\u0103rintelui de a nu ne l\u0103sa s\u0103 fim milogul grupului de adolescen\u0163i, ci, c\u00e2nd ceream noi, eram \u00eent\u00e2i terfeli\u0163i verbal p\u00e2n\u0103 la descompunere, apoi ni se aruncau \u00een sil\u0103 \u0103ia 5 lei. Facts of life, b***chez. \u00cen loc s\u0103 ne mu\u015ftrului\u0163i, lua\u0163i o pauz\u0103 \u015fi asuma\u0163i-v\u0103 c\u0103 habar n-ave\u0163i cum e.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pe scurt. Motiveaz\u0103-l s\u0103 se deta\u015feze emo\u0163ional \u015fi spune-i. Dac\u0103 am putut eu, \u00een numai c\u00e2\u0163iva ani, o s\u0103 po\u0163i \u015fi tu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ceea ce v\u0103 spun \u015fi eu vou\u0103 cu fiecare postare, btw. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103, <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lorena. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, sus\u0163ine\u0163i activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14577\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">***<br>Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong>&nbsp;\u015fi&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCCHBtHi6S2GlUFqETH70cjQ\">YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16678,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22037","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/mailbox.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22037"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22037\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22041,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22037\/revisions\/22041"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}