Firstly, \u00eemi cer scuze c\u0103 dau buzna \u00een email-ul t\u0103u cu a first world problem, o s\u0103 \u00eencerc s\u0103 nu m\u0103 lungesc.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n (Pentru asta e po\u015fta redac\u0163iei. Lorena.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n Am o amic\u0103\/prieten\u0103 care are tendin\u021ba s\u0103 ia o dram\u0103 \u0219i s-o “mulg\u0103” to infinity and beyond, p\u00e2n\u0103-n punctul \u00een care ajunge efectiv s\u0103 m\u0103 streseze. Eu merg pe principiul c\u0103 un prieten e acolo s\u0103-\u021bi ofere un um\u0103r pe care s\u0103 pl\u00e2ngi \u0219i s\u0103 te asculte – chestie pe care o fac mereu – doar c\u0103 simt c\u0103 ea abuzeaz\u0103 de chestia asta. Se pl\u00e2nge de orice \u0219i, de\u0219i-i dau sfaturi, ea le ignor\u0103 \u0219i continu\u0103 s\u0103 se pl\u00e2ng\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Un alt exemplu recent a fost acum. Nu \u0219tie ce s\u0103-i cumpere iubitului ei de Cr\u0103ciun \u0219i m-a \u00eentrebat pe mine. Eu i-am spus c\u0103 un cadou trebuie s\u0103 fie personal \u0219i c\u0103 ea trebuie s\u0103 \u0219tie ce gusturi\/preferin\u021be are omul \u0103la, totu\u0219i i-am dat ni\u0219te sugestii. Sigur, la fiecare sugestie a venit cu un contraargument “a, dar parfum are” “a, br\u0103\u021b\u0103ri nu poart\u0103” “adida\u0219i \u00eei cump\u0103r\u0103 sor-sa”, ca apoi s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 c\u0103 el \u0219i-ar dori un joc, fiind gamer ca hobby. Am zis “bingo, ia-i jocul respectiv”, la care ea “a, nu, c\u0103 vreau sa-l dezv\u0103\u021b de jocuri fiindc\u0103 simt c\u0103 m\u0103 ignor\u0103 pentru ele”. Fac un mic exerci\u021biu de respira\u021bie \u0219i-i spun “Ok, nu te pot ajuta, spor la g\u0103sit” la care ea “vaaai, dar chiar nu \u0219tiu ce s\u0103-i iau”. Seen, c\u0103 m\u0103 preg\u0103team s\u0103 plec cu c\u00e2inele la veterinar. Eu niciodat\u0103 nu m\u0103 pl\u00e2ng la ea fiindc\u0103, \u0219i dac\u0103 o fac, nu m\u0103 ascult\u0103. I-am spus despre c\u00e2inele meu c\u0103 are o mic\u0103 problem\u0103 de s\u0103n\u0103tate \u0219i ea, \u00een loc s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 ceva, a \u00eendreptat aten\u021bia tot spre ea, a \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 c\u0103 o doare \u0219i pe ea capul \u0219i, agaaain, muls drama pe durerea capului ei. Tipic Leilor, huh? kidding.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Anyway, crezi c\u0103 e \u0219i vina mea, cumva, c\u0103 nu iau atitudine \u0219i-o las a\u0219a? Ce m-ai sf\u0103tui? <\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Mul\u021bumesc!<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n X.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Drag\u0103 X., <\/p>\n\n\n\n Cred c\u0103 da, ar trebui s\u0103 iei atitudine. Pentru c\u0103 frustr\u0103rile provocate de genul \u0103sta de prieteni, pe care eu \u00eei numesc victime profesioniste, ajung la un moment dat s\u0103 creasc\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een punctul \u00een care \u00een mintea ta se desf\u0103\u015foar\u0103 un ne\u00eencetat monolog \u00een care le spui s\u0103 se duc\u0103 \u00een mor\u0163ii lor. Da, \u015ftiu, sun\u0103 jenant. Dar am fost acolo, pe c\u00e2nd timiditatea m\u0103 \u00eempiedica s\u0103 reac\u021bionez \u00een timp real la nepl\u0103ceri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00centre timp m-am maturizat \u015fi c\u00e2nd constat din faza incipient\u0103 a unei interac\u0163iuni c\u0103 persoana se v\u0103ic\u0103re\u015fte mult \u015fi nu caut\u0103 de fapt solu\u0163ii, ci public pentru dramele ei f\u0103r\u0103 sf\u00e2r\u015fit, dau check out instant. E un job mai obositor dec\u00e2t acela de personal de cur\u0103\u0163enie, pentru c\u0103 personalul de cur\u0103\u0163enie termin\u0103 casa sau biroul \u015fi pleac\u0103, dar victima profesionist\u0103 te f la cap, f\u0103r\u0103 pauze, f\u0103r\u0103 urm\u0103 de respect pentru timpul t\u0103u sau orice alt\u0103 activitate ai avea, la orice or\u0103 din zi \u015fi din noapte. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Din c\u00e2te \u00eemi descrii, gagica asta nu vrea solu\u0163ii. Doar emotional flufferi. (Flufferul fiind persoana de pe setul unui film \u0103\u0103\u0103, din acela, care avea rolul s\u0103-i fac\u0103 o lab\u0103 (sau mai multe) actorului principal \u00eentre cadre, s\u0103 nu i se culce p\u00e2n\u0103 se monta aparatura pentru urm\u0103toarea pozi\u0163ie, \u0103\u0103\u0103, scen\u0103.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n E una s\u0103 fi\u0163i un sprijin \u00eentre voi, ca prieteni, c\u00e2nd unul are o problem\u0103, \u015fi e cu totul altceva c\u00e2nd o idioat\u0103 sinistr\u0103 din asta \u0163i se boce\u015fte oric\u00e2t, oric\u00e2nd, oarb\u0103 \u015fi surd\u0103 la nevoile tale emo\u0163ionale. Un prieten adev\u0103rat, c\u00e2nd aude c\u0103 ai c\u00e2inele bolnav, \u00ee\u0163i recomand\u0103 veterinar, dac\u0103 \u015ftie vreunul, te sun\u0103 s\u0103 te \u00eentrebe cum se simte c\u00e2inele, respectiv cum te sim\u0163i tu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n O persoan\u0103 care nu te ascult\u0103, pur \u015fi simplu, c\u00e2nd ai o problem\u0103, nu \u00ee\u0163i e prieten\u0103. Te folose\u015fte doar ca figurant \u00een drama “Aolic\u0103 oioioi” care ruleaz\u0103 24 de ore pe zi, 7 ore pe s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cen func\u0163ie de c\u00e2t de mult \u0163ii la individ\u0103, po\u0163i alege calea simpl\u0103. Cea \u00een care \u00eei spui c\u0103 nu mai ai timp de aceast\u0103 prietenie, c\u0103 ai alte priorit\u0103\u0163i \u015fi \u00eei dai block all over, s\u0103 te asiguri c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i respect\u0103 decizia. Altfel, va n\u0103v\u0103li \u00een inboxul t\u0103u s\u0103 te frece la icre \u00een continuare. Calea simpl\u0103 e cea cu minimum de consum nervos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sau calea mai complicat\u0103. Cea \u00een care \u00eei spui c\u0103 nu mai tolerezi ca prietenia voastr\u0103 s\u0103 fie numai despre dramele ei. \u015ei c\u0103 remarci c\u0103 nu o intereseaz\u0103 problemele tale, ceea ce nu \u0163i se pare normal. \u015ei c\u0103 te a\u015ftep\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i asculte solu\u0163iile \u015fi s\u0103 le aplice, s\u0103 nu continue s\u0103 \u0163i se v\u0103ic\u0103reasc\u0103. Ceea ce vrea de la tine e job de psiholog profesionist, iar \u0103la cere bani de or\u0103 de terapie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Aici, a\u015fteapt\u0103-te s\u0103 izbucneasc\u0103 potopul acuzelor \u015fi v\u0103ic\u0103relilor legate de tine, dar nu ceda. Chiar nu ai de g\u00e2nd s\u0103 mai tolerezi v\u0103ic\u0103reala \u015fi punct. Dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i mai vrea prietenia, s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163e s\u0103 comunice eficient, succint \u015fi la obiect. Probabil c\u0103 \u015fi iubi o ignor\u0103 taman pentru c\u0103 este excesiv\u0103 \u015fi obositoare, iar jocul nu e doar un hobby, ci un refugiu \u015fi o oaz\u0103 de lini\u015fte. <\/p>\n\n\n\n La ce s\u0103 NU te a\u015ftep\u0163i: s\u0103 se schimbe singur\u0103, dac\u0103 tu nu trasezi un boundary. Oamenii nu \u00ee\u015fi con\u015ftientizeaz\u0103 gre\u015felile dec\u00e2t dac\u0103 le sunt puse \u00een vedere. Iar genul \u0103sta de victim\u0103 profesionist\u0103 nu \u015fi le con\u015ftientizeaz\u0103 nici atunci. Preg\u0103te\u015fte-te s\u0103 devii unul dintre mon\u015ftrii ei, din secunda \u00een care deschizi subiectul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 face asta, \u00een loc de autoanaliz\u0103, chiar o po\u0163i expedia \u015fi \u00eenchide definitiv comunicarea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You need better friends. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103, <\/p>\n\n\n\n Lorena. <\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol, sus\u0163ine site-ul cu o dona\u0163ie<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n *** Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16678,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/mailbox.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22693","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22693"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22693\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22696,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22693\/revisions\/22696"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22693"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22693"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22693"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Ex: Ea: stai s\u0103-\u021bi zic ce mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat \u0219i *dram\u0103*. Eu \u00eei dau un sfat sau \u00eei spun ceva, ea “vai, dar stai s\u0103-\u021bi mai zic” *more drama*, eu din nou cu o solu\u021bie, ea din nou cu “vai, dar stai s\u0103-\u021bi mai zic” \u0219i o mai lunge\u0219te cu vreo 20j de “s\u0103-\u021bi mai zic”-uri p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00eemi epuizeaz\u0103 toate cuvintele pe care i le-a\u0219 putea spune. La un moment dat, recunosc, \u00eei dau seen fiindc\u0103 am \u0219i alte treburi \u0219i atunci ce face? \u00cen momentul \u00een care vede c\u0103 i-am dat seen, mai continu\u0103 \u0219i dup\u0103 cu alte drame derivate din drama anterioar\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"