{"id":23022,"date":"2022-03-14T11:21:21","date_gmt":"2022-03-14T08:21:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=23022"},"modified":"2022-03-14T11:22:46","modified_gmt":"2022-03-14T08:22:46","slug":"atentie-diaspora-ca-va-ia-in-armata","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/atentie-diaspora-ca-va-ia-in-armata\/","title":{"rendered":"Aten\u021bie, Diaspor\u0103, c\u0103 v\u0103 ia \u00een armat\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ieri, am r\u00e2s cu spume. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mai multe siteuri de \u0219tiri la kilogram – genul care angajeaz\u0103 ni\u0219te copila\u0219i cu salariu minim pe economie s\u0103 scrie 30 de \u0219tiri pe tur\u0103 de opt ore, s\u0103 editeze poze \u0219i eventual \u0219i cinci \u0219tiri video, da s\u0103 fac\u0103 \u0219i trafic, domle – au anun\u021bat un proiect de lege al guvernului care, \u00een eventual r\u0103zboi, o s\u0103 cheme acas\u0103 rom\u00e2nii afla\u021bi peste hotare, s\u0103-i incorporeze \u00een armat\u0103. Ordinul vine la domiciliul din Rom\u00e2nia, \u0219i Vasile are 15 zile la dispozi\u021bie s\u0103 rezolve ce probleme de via\u021b\u0103 cotidian\u0103 are acolo \u0219i s\u0103 se prezinte la oaste, \u00eentru deplasare pe front. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

LOLOLOL. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen primul \u0219i \u00een primul r\u00e2nd, dac\u0103 ar ap\u0103rea un astfel de pericol, fenomenul la care am asista ar fi exact invers. To\u021bi b\u0103rba\u021bii de v\u00e2rst\u0103 incorporabil\u0103 DIN INTERIOR \u0219i-ar da deadline de 15 zile s-o u\u0219cheasc\u0103 rapid care pe unde, \u00een ideea c\u0103, dac\u0103 alearg\u0103 destul de repede, p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eei prinde cineva, cade guvernul care a dat ordinul \u0219i noii \u00eensc\u0103una\u021bi nu vor mai avea nici un motiv s\u0103-i cheme \u00een nici o armat\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pentru c\u0103 rom\u00e2na\u0219ul e viteaz numai pe Facebook, unde e \u00een afara ariei de ac\u021biune a pumnului adversarului, respectiv cu femeia \u0219i cu copii, pentru c\u0103 sunt mai slabi fizic \u0219i nu risc\u0103 s\u0103-\u0219i \u00eencaseze echivalentul obr\u0103zniciei \u00een pumni \u00een muf\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i e ca \u00een liceu, c\u00e2nd chiuleai cu clasa. Dac\u0103 chiulea toat\u0103 clasa, nu lua nimeni absen\u021b\u0103. Drept urmare, chiulul era unanim, cu luat elevii buni pe sus, de m\u00e2ini \u0219i picioare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prezum\u021bia c\u0103 un rom\u00e2n stabilit \u00een str\u0103in\u0103tate, cu cas\u0103 \u0219i job, va da cu piciorul micii lui bule de siguran\u021b\u0103 f\u0103urite cu greu, cu efortul imens al adapt\u0103rii la o alt\u0103 cultur\u0103, pentru a veni \u00eenapoi \u00een \u021bara care l-a frustrat din toate punctele de vedere \u0219i l-a alungat in the first place e de o naivitate de-a dreptul copil\u0103reasc\u0103. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Rom\u00e2nul va deveni brusc invalid, bolnav psihic, sau va face platfus peste noapte – \u0219i tot nu va fi incorporabil. Va pl\u0103ti \u0219pag\u0103 \u0219i lui Dumnezeu, doar s\u0103 scape. \u0218i dac\u0103 nu \u0219i nu, \u00ee\u0219i va face act de identitate fals – doar \u0219tie el ni\u0219te b\u0103ie\u021bi, \u0219i primii oameni cu care face cuno\u0219tin\u021b\u0103, oriunde se mut\u0103, sunt “ni\u015fte b\u0103ie\u0163i” \u015fi va reie\u015fi c\u0103 fusese portorican all along. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Proiectul \u0103sta de lege, dac\u0103 chiar exist\u0103, e la fel de eficient ca un eventual proiect de chemare la oaste a mar\u0163ienilor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nici m\u0103car Putin, c\u00e2t e el de dictator bolnav de putere \u015fi \u00eensetat de control, nu a ouat ideea de a chema la oaste ru\u015fii pleca\u0163i din \u0163ar\u0103. PENTRU C\u0102 \u015eTIE C\u0102 NU VOR VENI. \u015etie c\u0103 \u0103ia au plecat exact din cauza lui \u015fi c\u0103 oricare dintre ei ar prefera s\u0103-\u015fi taie pu\u0163a \u015fi s-o m\u0103n\u00e2nce fript\u0103 \u00eentr-o marinad\u0103 de portocale, suc de m\u0103r \u0219i ghimbir, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 \u00eel serveasc\u0103 pe el m\u0103car cu un deget. Dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 vezi adev\u0103rata ur\u0103 antiputinist\u0103, intr\u0103 \u00een vorb\u0103 cu un rus emigrat \u00een str\u0103in\u0103tate. \u0162i-l va trece pe Putin pe un pod de p*le \u015fi dus, \u015fi \u00eentors, de minimum trei ori, \u015fi asta p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 se enerveze. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Idem \u015fi diasporenii no\u015ftri. Au fugit din cauza lipsei de op\u0163iuni \u015fi de respect. Au fugit de foame, abuz \u015fi exploatare, nepotism \u015fi aranjamente. Mai degrab\u0103 mi-i imaginez \u00eenrol\u00e2ndu-se numai de-al naibii la adversar, \u00een regim de mercenariat, doar pentru satisfac\u0163ia de a da cu flit autorit\u0103\u0163ilor din Rom\u00e2nia \u0219i a le flutura euroiul de la distan\u021b\u0103: Ce-s \u0103\u0219tia? Baaani, lol. Chestia de care eram privat pe c\u00e2nd m\u0103 chinuia\u021bi zi de zi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taman de aceea, povestea asta cu \u00eenrolarea \u00een 15 zile a diasporenilor sun\u0103 a clickbait. \u015ei \u015ftirile nu dau detalii legate de consecin\u0163e. C\u0103 dac\u0103 nu vine \u00een cele 15 zile, ce faci? O trimi\u0163i pe m\u0103-sa la oaste \u00een locul lui? Regimentul de babe nr. 456 infanterie? Cum lupta\u0163i, maic\u0103? \u00cent\u00e2i cu ru\u015f\u00e2ne s\u0103-\u0163i fie, nenorocitule, c\u0103 nu se alege nimic de tine. Apoi cu muri-\u0163i-ar \u015fi f\u0103ce-\u0163i-s-ar \u015fi la final, ne d\u0103m fustele jos \u015fi o rupe du\u015fmanul la fug\u0103 mintena\u015f. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Propun un proiect de lege pentru \u00eenrolarea mor\u0163ilor din Teleorman care l-au votat pe Dragnea. \u0102ia da viteji. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***
Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ieri, am r\u00e2s cu spume. Mai multe siteuri de \u0219tiri la kilogram – genul care angajeaz\u0103 ni\u0219te copila\u0219i cu salariu minim pe economie s\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11418,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/monkey.jpg?fit=517%2C494&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23022"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23022\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23025,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23022\/revisions\/23025"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11418"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}