{"id":23283,"date":"2022-05-03T11:50:18","date_gmt":"2022-05-03T08:50:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=23283"},"modified":"2022-05-03T11:50:19","modified_gmt":"2022-05-03T08:50:19","slug":"dependenta-de-vaicareala","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/dependenta-de-vaicareala\/","title":{"rendered":"Dependen\u0163a de v\u0103ic\u0103real\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Se scriu texte despre dependen\u0163a de alcool \u015fi droguri, chiar \u015fi despre dependen\u0163a de dulciuri sau de sex, dar nu se scriu suficiente texte despre dependen\u0163a de v\u0103ic\u0103real\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vai, Lorena, dar oamenii trebuie s\u0103-\u015fi comunice problemele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Desigur. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ce\u0163i comunici problemele, apoi vezi ce m\u0103suri iei pentru a le rezolva. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Data viitoare comunici un update cu modul \u00een care ai avansat, stadiul nou la care te afli \u015fi eventual noi probleme. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar sunt indivizi care nu func\u0163ioneaz\u0103 a\u015fa. Sunt indivizi care nu doresc s\u0103-\u015fi rezolve problemele. Sunt indivizi care simt c\u0103 nu atrag suficient\u0103 aten\u0163ie dac\u0103 nu au \u015fi probleme. Sunt oameni care se folosesc de probleme ca de o modalitate de a t\u00e2rfi cu neru\u015finare aten\u0163ia altora, iar \u015fi iar \u015fi iar \u015fi iar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sigur, folosesc incorect verbul a t\u00e2rfi. A t\u00e2rfi presupune s\u0103 oferi o pl\u0103cere \u015fi o bucurie celuilalt. Dar \u0103la cu v\u0103ic\u0103reala g\u0103l\u0103gioas\u0103 \u015fi agasant\u0103 nu apeleaz\u0103 la hormonii pl\u0103cerii. Dimpotriv\u0103. Se hr\u0103ne\u0219te din disconfortul t\u0103u, ca genul \u0103la de cer\u0219etor care se mutileaz\u0103 de unul singur, ca s\u0103 ob\u021bin\u0103 mila popula\u021biei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Genul \u0103sta de om te aga\u021b\u0103 cu o v\u0103ic\u0103real\u0103 din care reiese c\u0103 via\u021ba lui\/ei e un calvar, c\u0103 el sau ea a fost apostolul bun\u0103t\u0103\u021bii \u0219i p\u00e2inea integral\u0103 a lui Dumnezeu, c\u0103 to\u021bi ceilal\u021bi oameni au fost ni\u0219te odio\u0219i \u0219i ni\u0219te nemernici. OK. Ai r\u0103bdare, propui un plan de b\u0103taie, eventual \u00eei \u0219i oferi sus\u021binere, material\u0103 sau moral\u0103. La urm\u0103toarea conversa\u021bie, consta\u021bi c\u0103 n-a f\u0103cut nimic s\u0103-\u0219i rezolve problemele, dimpotriv\u0103. Exact ca \u00een cazul cer\u0219etorului de la metrou, tot ce ai oferit tu s-a consumat, rana e \u00een stare \u0219i mai avansat\u0103, \u0219i v\u0103ic\u0103reala e de la zero. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i atunci, te prinzi. Stai a\u0219a. \u0102sta nu e un om care vrea s\u0103-\u0219i rezolve problemele. Aici, problema \u00een sine trebuie musai prelungit\u0103 \u0219i alimentat\u0103, \u0219i folosit\u0103 ca vac\u0103 de muls pentru timpul, eforturile, banii fraierilor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Noi to\u021bi trebuie s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m s\u0103 ne gestion\u0103m mai bine timpul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vasilica \u021bi se vaiet\u0103 de ceva. S\u0103 zicem, iubi abuziv. Tu \u00eei spui unde s\u0103 g\u0103seasc\u0103 asisten\u021b\u0103, \u00eei explici de ce s\u0103 ias\u0103 din rela\u021bie, c\u0103 nu \u00eel schimb\u0103 pe iubi \u0219i c\u0103 nu rezolv\u0103 nimic bocind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Data urm\u0103toare c\u00e2nd vorbe\u0219ti cu Vasilica. Uhhm. E tot cu iubi abuziv, \u0219i v\u0103ic\u0103reala e \u00een acela\u0219i stadiu. Ook, poate nu ai fost suficient de explicit prima dat\u0103, \u00eei mai spui o dat\u0103 tot ce e de spus. Unii dintre noi mai \u0219i scot c\u00e2teva sute de lei din buzunar, s\u0103 sus\u021bin\u0103 biata victim\u0103 \u00een drumul ei spre libertate \u0219i fericire. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daaar minune. A treia oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd vorbe\u0219ti cu Vasilica, uimire. E tot cu \u0103la abuziv \u0219i cu o nou\u0103 rafal\u0103 de v\u0103ic\u0103reli agonizante. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i atunci te prinzi: a fi cu iubi abuziv nu e o problem\u0103 care trebuie rezolvat\u0103. E de fapt un reality show \u00een desf\u0103\u0219urare, dar f\u0103r\u0103 camere de filmat \u0219i echip\u0103. Un modus vivendi. Un business. Dac\u0103 din v\u0103ic\u0103reli, vine tot ce vrei tu de la oameni, de ce s\u0103 \u00eendep\u0103rtezi problema? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 cer\u0219etorul de la metrou ar pansa rana aia oribil\u0103, ar pierde obiectul muncii \u0219i sursa principal\u0103 de bani din via\u021ba lui. Interesul lui e s\u0103 supureze \u0219i s\u0103 s\u00e2ngereze \u00een continuare, c\u0103 asta face doamnele miloase s\u0103 renun\u021be la pateul pe care tocmai se preg\u0103teau s\u0103-l cumpere \u0219i s\u0103-i pun\u0103 lui \u0103ia 5 lei \u00een basc\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cam a\u0219a \u0219i cu victima profesionist\u0103. Dac\u0103 toate problemele dispar, dispare obiectul \u0219antajului emo\u021bional \u0219i al presiunii psihologice prin care \u00eei exploateaz\u0103 pe al\u021bii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

OK. Pe de o parte, e important s\u0103 ne menaj\u0103m nervii \u0219i timpul s\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 nu ajungem caii de b\u0103taie \u0219i idio\u021bii utili ai acestui tip de om. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pe de alta, e important s\u0103 identific\u0103m \u00een noi \u00een\u0219ine apuc\u0103turile de victim\u0103 profesionist\u0103. Exist\u0103 vreo problem\u0103 cu care m\u0103 complac? Sau pe care o \u00eentind pe termen lung, din diverse motive, de\u0219i exist\u0103 solu\u021bii simple \u0219i rapide? \u00cemi place s\u0103 ocup timpul \u0219i energia altora cu ea? Simt oare c\u0103 acest timp mi se cuvine de la sine, nerecompensat, c\u0103 a\u0219a mi se cuvin mie lucruri? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218tiu s\u0103 comunic clar \u0219i inteligibil problema? Dac\u0103 da, m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 o solu\u021bie, sau doar s\u0103 m\u0103 pl\u00e2ng? Sigur, sunt momente c\u00e2nd chiar e\u0219ti furios \u0219i ai nevoie de un pomelnic de mor\u021bi de mam\u0103, s\u0103 te calmezi, dar nu despre asta vorbesc. Dup\u0103 ce te-ai calmat. Fac ceva s\u0103 rezolv problema, sau doar m\u0103 l\u0103f\u0103i \u00een ea ca porcul \u00een n\u0103mol \u0219i m\u0103 folosesc de ea s\u0103 atrag aten\u021bie de la lume? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen cazul meu, au fost contractele pe c\u0103r\u021bile mele. Sume derizorii, investi\u021bie minim\u0103 din partea editorilor lor pentru promovare, de\u0219i aveau cea mai mare parte din beneficii. F\u0103ceam 90% din munc\u0103 \u0219i aveam 10% din profit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

M-am victimizat mult pe net pe acest subiect. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Solu\u021bia, \u00eens\u0103. e simpl\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu mai semna nici un contract care nu-\u021bi convine, \u0219i nu te zg\u00e2rci la o sum\u0103 x s\u0103 solici\u021bi serviciile unui amic avocat s\u0103 vad\u0103 \u0219i el sau ea termenii \u0219i condi\u021biile, iar dac\u0103 anumite promisiuni nu sunt incluse pe acolo, s\u0103 negocieze pentru tine s\u0103 fie incluse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E adev\u0103rat, asta va \u00eensemna c\u0103 o s\u0103 semnezi mult mai pu\u021bine contracte, pentru c\u0103, de cum dau de un avocat, impostorii fug m\u00e2nc\u00e2nd p\u0103m\u00e2ntul. Dar m\u0103car \u0219tii c\u0103 nu ri\u0219ti \u021bepe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i nu mai cad \u00een capcana de a m\u0103 v\u0103ic\u0103ri de problem\u0103. \u00cembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219ez solu\u021bia \u0219i m\u0103 bucur c\u0103 exist\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie. Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***
Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Se scriu texte despre dependen\u0163a de alcool \u015fi droguri, chiar \u015fi despre dependen\u0163a de dulciuri sau de sex, dar nu se scriu suficiente texte...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":23285,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/catgalben.jpg?fit=640%2C427&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23283","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23283"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23283\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23286,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23283\/revisions\/23286"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}