Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimi(te)\u021bi problema voastr\u0103 de suflet pe birou@lorenalupu.com. Noi citim, cuget\u0103m \u0219i analiz\u0103m, apoi propunem o solu\u021bie sau d\u0103m o opinie \u00ceNTR-UN ARTICOL PE BLOG.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sau \u00een consulta\u0163ie privat\u0103 remunerat\u0103. Subliniez: dac\u0103 nu vrei s\u0103 scriu despre, nu-mi trimite o po\u015ft\u0103 a redac\u0163iei cu amendamentul “dar vreau r\u0103spuns privat”. Exist\u0103 dou\u0103 op\u0163iuni: vrei formatul \u0103sta, sau \u00eemi recompensezi timpul.<\/strong> Merci de \u00een\u0163elegere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Scrisorica de azi spune a\u015fa:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Drag\u0103 Lorena,<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0162i-am admirat \u00eentotdeauna inteligen\u0163a \u015fi logica. Sunt un tip, am un job de middle management \u00eentr-o corpora\u0163ie \u015fi o via\u0163\u0103 ok, deci nu am frustr\u0103ri \u015fi pot aprecia o femeie talentat\u0103 \u015fi cu cuvintele la ea. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Am citit articolele tale despre avort \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i dau dreptate. Femeia are tot dreptul s\u0103 decid\u0103 dac\u0103 nu vrea un copil. Cost\u0103 mul\u0163i bani s\u0103 cre\u015fti un copil, nu mai ai timp de nimic, trebuie s\u0103 renun\u0163i la o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de lucruri \u015fi nu e ok s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple asta \u00eentr-un moment \u00een care nu e\u015fti preg\u0103tit\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar uite problema mea, Lorena. Dac\u0103 un gigel ca mine o las\u0103 gravid\u0103 din gre\u015feal\u0103 pe una, iar aia vrea copilul, toat\u0103 lumea devine pro lifer cu bietul om. Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut s\u0103 te f***, \u00ee\u0163i asumi, asta e, ghinion, dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i place p***, pl\u0103te\u015fte \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Mie nu mi se pare corect faptul c\u0103, dac\u0103 femeia nu vrea sarcina, \u00eel scoate afar\u0103, indiferent ce crede tat\u0103l copilului, iar dac\u0103 femeia vrea sarcina, \u00eel \u0163ine, indiferent ce crede tat\u0103l copilului. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u015ei noi avem momente c\u00e2nd nu avem bani, sau vrem timp pentru noi, sau avem alte planuri, iar astea ar trebui s\u0103 conteze a\u015fa cum conteaz\u0103 ale femeii. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Tu ce crezi despre asta? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Po\u0163i s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenjuri, c\u0103 nu m\u0103 sup\u0103r. M\u0103 excit\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenjure o femeie dezl\u0103n\u0163uit\u0103, haha.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n X. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Drag\u0103 X., <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 vrei o sesiune profesional\u0103 de \u00eenjurat, book me and pay me, lol. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar s\u0103 vorbim serios: da, \u00een\u0163eleg. Eu personal nu a\u015f impune un copil unui om care nu \u00eel vrea. Eu personal am fost un copil b\u0103gat pe g\u00e2t cu sila unui b\u0103rbat de o femeie care nu se sim\u0163ea iubit\u0103 de respectivul b\u0103rbat \u015fi avea senza\u0163ia c\u0103 un copil o s\u0103-i creeze \u0103luia sentimentul obliga\u0163iei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Pe c\u00e2nd m\u0103 asmu\u0163ea \u00eempotriva lui taic\u0103-meu, maic\u0103-mea \u00eemi tot spunea: \u015etii c\u0103 taic\u0103-tu nu te-a vrut? <\/p>\n\n\n\n (De fapt, nici ea nu m\u0103 vrusese. Nici ea nu \u00ee\u015fi dorise cu adev\u0103rat un copil. \u00ce\u015fi dorise un instrument de manipulare \u015fi \u015fantaj.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n Asta p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am crescut suficient de mare s-o \u00eentreb: Deci, omul \u0163i-a spus deschis c\u0103 nu vrea copii, iar tu i-ai \u00eenc\u0103lcat voin\u0163a \u015fi m-ai \u00eendesat pe g\u00e2tul lui, \u015fi cumva se presupune c\u0103 tot el e \u0103la r\u0103u \u00een aceast\u0103 situa\u0163ie?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Chiar nu cred c\u0103 e ok s\u0103 legi un b\u0103rbat de tine cu un copil. Cineva care te iube\u015fte, te iube\u015fte pur \u015fi simplu. Cineva care nu te iube\u015fte, nu te iube\u015fte \u015fi gata. Iar un b\u0103rbat care nu e preg\u0103tit de un copil nu e preg\u0103tit \u015fi punct, \u015fi are dreptul la priorit\u0103\u0163ile lui. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar iat\u0103 de ce cred c\u0103 exist\u0103 aceast\u0103 inechitate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Omul care trebuie s\u0103 fie cu adev\u0103rat preg\u0103tit, pentru c\u0103 va c\u0103ra grosul responsabilit\u0103\u0163ii \u015fi al muncii, e femeia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ea va purta sarcina, ea va suporta na\u015fterea, ea va hr\u0103ni f\u0103tul cu laptele ei, ea va face mare parte din munca de \u00eengrijire a noului-n\u0103scut, ea va avea rela\u0163ia aceea cu totul special\u0103 cu pruncul, ea \u00eei va alina durerile, ea \u00eel va \u00eemb\u0103rb\u0103ta dac\u0103 se love\u015fte, sau ia prima not\u0103 proast\u0103, \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 b\u0103rbatul nu dore\u015fte s\u0103 se implice \u00een via\u0163a copilului, participarea lui se reduce la o sum\u0103 lunar\u0103. \u015ei zero b\u0103taie de cap. Iar dac\u0103 te tot faci c\u0103 ui\u0163i s-o trimi\u0163i, femeile mai orgolioase o s\u0103 zic\u0103: Ia mai d\u0103-te \u00een mor\u0163ii t\u0103i c\u0103 nu stau eu s\u0103 m\u0103 milogesc cu basca \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 trimi\u0163i tu bani, boul dracului. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Un copil cre\u015fte foarte bine \u00een absen\u0163a fizic\u0103 a unui tat\u0103, ca dovad\u0103 sute de mii de adul\u0163i din familii formate din mam\u0103 \u015fi bunic\u0103. De aceea r\u00e2d c\u00e2nd \u00eei aud pe idio\u0163i cum nu cred \u00een familii de acela\u015fi sex. M\u0103-ta \u015fi bunic\u0103-ta nu erau de acela\u015fi sex, prafule? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sigur, ideal e s\u0103 aib\u0103 doi p\u0103rin\u0163i care s\u0103 se sus\u0163in\u0103 unul pe cel\u0103lalt \u015fi s\u0103 fie martorul unei rela\u0163ii fericite, s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163e cum arat\u0103 afec\u0163iunea \u015fi cooperarea real\u0103. Dar de crescut, cre\u015fte \u015fi \u00een prezen\u0163a mamei \u015fi at\u00e2t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar foarte pu\u0163ine mame \u00ee\u015fi permit luxul de a pleca \u00een lume, de a l\u0103sa pruncul \u00een \u00eengrijirea tat\u0103lui \u015fi de a trimite lunar pensie alimentar\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Pentru c\u0103 rolul celor doi p\u0103rin\u0163i e at\u00e2t de dispropor\u0163ionat \u00een context, e mai important s\u0103 vrea femeia copilul, cel pu\u0163in la nivel social. <\/p>\n\n\n\n La nivel individual, \u00ee\u0163i dau perfect\u0103 dreptate. Dac\u0103 un b\u0103rbat \u00ee\u0163i spune c\u0103 nu e preg\u0103tit pentru copii, tu, femeie, (sau orice alt gen, nu conteaz\u0103, lol), respec\u0163i asta, a\u015fa cum vrei ca el s\u0103 respecte decizia ta de a nu face copii din diverse motive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar \u00een definitiv, \u015fi la animale, ceasul biologic al femelei seteaz\u0103 programul de \u00eenmul\u0163ire. Csf, ncsf. Poate, dac\u0103 evolueaz\u0103 \u015ftiin\u0163a \u015fi apare op\u0163iunea transplantului de sarcin\u0103 asupra tat\u0103lui, se democratizeaz\u0103 \u015fi aceste decizii. I am all for it, pentru c\u0103 rolul biologic \u015fi social al femeii NU m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103, <\/p>\n\n\n\n Lorena. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimi(te)\u021bi problema voastr\u0103 de suflet...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":22275,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/nevermind.jpg?fit=890%2C534&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23375"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23375\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23376,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23375\/revisions\/23376"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}