{"id":23425,"date":"2022-05-29T10:04:26","date_gmt":"2022-05-29T07:04:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=23425"},"modified":"2022-05-29T10:04:27","modified_gmt":"2022-05-29T07:04:27","slug":"nu-accept-sfaturi-de-la-barbati-despre-casatorie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/nu-accept-sfaturi-de-la-barbati-despre-casatorie\/","title":{"rendered":"Nu accept sfaturi de la b\u0103rba\u0163i despre c\u0103s\u0103torie"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Aveam un om foarte apropiat care, acum c\u00e2\u0163iva ani, m\u0103 s\u00e2c\u00e2ia exhaustiv despre cum ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eemi g\u0103sesc \u015fi eu pe cineva. Grad de rudenie str\u00e2ns, deci nu puteai s\u0103-i spui ceva de genul “ia hai mar\u015f de-aici” \u015fi s\u0103-i dai block pe re\u0163ele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cei explicam cu toat\u0103 polite\u0163ea \u015fi r\u0103bdarea pe care o storceam din mine ca dintr-un tub de past\u0103 de din\u0163i c\u0103 oamenii sunt diferi\u0163i, c\u0103 au nevoi diferite, \u015fi c\u0103 NU PO\u0162I IMPUNE ALTUIA, CARE ARE PRIOPRIA LUI FORM\u0102 DE ECHILIBRU, ideile TALE despre ce te face pe tine fericit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

O dat\u0103. De dou\u0103 ori. De zece ori. Apoi i-am comunicat sec c\u0103 subiectul e \u00eenchis \u015fi c\u0103 \u00een fond e via\u0163a mea \u015fi nu datorez justific\u0103ri, punct. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apoi, mariajul lui perfect s-a terminat nasol, cu un divor\u0163 ur\u00e2t \u015fi un partaj agresiv \u015fi ustur\u0103tor financiar care se mai \u015fi \u00eentinde ca postul negru \u015fi \u00eei m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 toate veniturile. Lol. Plus b\u0103taia de cap birocratic\u0103. Eu duc doar buletinul, acolo unde e de f\u0103cut acte. El trebuie s\u0103 duc\u0103 certificat de c\u0103s\u0103torie \u015fi hot\u0103r\u00e2re de divor\u0163 \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe, \u00een original \u015fi copie, pentru c\u0103 dac\u0103 statul rom\u00e2n te poate h\u0103r\u0163ui, statul rom\u00e2n TE VA h\u0103r\u0163ui. De ce statutul omului divor\u0163at nu e similar cu al celui nec\u0103s\u0103torit? Nici nu vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc cum e, dac\u0103 mai ai \u015fi copii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I-am r\u00e2njit \u00een nas la un moment dat cu un “vezi cum karma e o c\u0103\u0163elu\u015f\u0103 etc”. Mi-a confirmat c\u0103 e un bou. \u00cen timp ce tu \u00ee\u0163i consumi banii pe avoca\u0163i de divor\u0163uri, eu mi-i bag \u00een ce \u00eemi place s\u0103 fac, \u015fi anume contentul meu online. O s\u0103 scot o pies\u0103 nou\u0103, pe 1 iunie. \u015ei asta pentru c\u0103 mi-au fost clare din prima priorit\u0103\u0163ile mele \u015fi nu le-am halit pe nemestecate pe ale altora. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oook. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zilele astea, st\u0103team de vorb\u0103 cu un domn mai \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103. \u015ei m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103: Cum se face c\u0103 o femeie frumoas\u0103 \u015fi interesant\u0103 ca tine nu e m\u0103ritat\u0103? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00centrebarea asta m\u0103 irit\u0103 grav. Dragi b\u0103rba\u0163i, evita\u0163i s\u0103 \u00eentreba\u0163i de ce femei frumoase \u015fi interesante nu sunt m\u0103ritate. Sau de ce femei ur\u00e2te \u015fi neinteresante nu sunt m\u0103ritate, for that matter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ce sugereaz\u0103 aceast\u0103 \u00eentrebare nespus de iritant\u0103 \u015fi de minimalizant\u0103 e OBLIGATIVITATEA femeii de a fi o perpetu\u0103 candidat\u0103 la m\u0103riti\u015f \u015fi faptul c\u0103 singurul aspect care conteaz\u0103 e dac\u0103 vrea un gigel s\u0103 o ia sau nu. E exact mentalitatea aia patriarhal\u0103 vomitiv\u0103 \u015fi scabroas\u0103 cum c\u0103 voin\u0163a ta, ca purt\u0103toare de vagin, e irelevant\u0103, c\u0103 esen\u0163ial e s\u0103 vrea gogu s\u0103 te ia, \u015fi dac\u0103 gogu nu vrea s\u0103 te ia, nu e\u015fti nimic. Ipoteza \u00een care pe tine nu te intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103 iei un gogu \u015fi c\u0103 e\u015fti perfect \u00een regul\u0103 \u015fi neluat\u0103 e total ignorat\u0103 de acest mindset. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pentru c\u0103 femeile, frumoase sau nu, interesante sau nu, mai trebuie s\u0103 \u015fi VREA acest job fulltime neremunerat care e o c\u0103s\u0103torie, i-am retezat-o eu. Partea cu “nu \u00eemi doresc a\u015fa ceva” nici m\u0103car nu v-a traversat orizonturile g\u00e2ndirii, nu-i a\u015fa? De ce vi se pare c\u0103 singurul factor de decizie e disponibilitatea a trei, zece sau o sut\u0103 de gigei? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A \u00eencasat-o u\u015for \u015focat. Apoi a ouat una: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Uneori, m\u0103 \u00eentreb de ce unor oameni le e fric\u0103 s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tssss. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aici mi-a pus capacul. Exact frica de a tr\u0103i era problema mea, lol. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Stimate domn, nu v\u0103 sup\u0103ra\u0163i, dar cumva un b\u0103rbat nu are de ce s\u0103-i spun\u0103 unei femei cum e cu c\u0103s\u0103toria \u015fi cu frica de a tr\u0103i. Mai ales la rom\u00e2ni. Unde un b\u0103rbat, dac\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi ia nevast\u0103, \u00ee\u015fi ia concomitent menajer\u0103 gratis, buc\u0103t\u0103reas\u0103 gratis, sex asigurat la nevoie – sigur, dac\u0103 femeia munce\u015fte neajutat\u0103 la cele de mai sus s-ar putea ca s\u0103 nu prea aib\u0103 chef de punctul al treilea \u015fi tot ea va fi de vin\u0103 c\u0103 v\u0103 g\u0103si\u0163i ceva de f*** pe l\u00e2ng\u0103, sus\u0163inere necondi\u0163ionat\u0103 \u00een toate planurile lui de carier\u0103 \u015fi un aparat gratis de sandviciuri pentru momentele c\u00e2nd pleac\u0103 el la drum. Cred \u015fi eu c\u0103, pentru un b\u0103rbat, c\u0103s\u0103toria este tr\u0103it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scap\u0103 de tot ce e trivial \u015fi plictisitor \u00een via\u0163\u0103 \u015fi poate face tot ce \u00eei place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pentru femei, versiunea rom\u00e2neasc\u0103 a c\u0103s\u0103toriei e o luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung\u0103 list\u0103 de obliga\u0163ii, toate al naibii de obligatorii, prin urmare neremunerate, care s\u0103 haleasc\u0103 mare parte din timp \u015fi din energie, \u015fi care s\u0103 nu fie recompensate cu absolut nimic. Nu doar c\u0103 nu sunt recompensate, dar mai vin \u015fi japi\u0163ele din familia \u0103luia s\u0103-\u015fi dea cu p\u0103rerea despre cum ar trebui s\u0103 faci tu ciorba \u015fi c\u00e2t\u0103 verdea\u0163\u0103 se pune s\u0103 \u00eel g\u00e2dili mai bine la ou\u0163e pe gigel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pentru femei, versiunea rom\u00e2neasc\u0103 a c\u0103s\u0103toriei e o perpetu\u0103 punere a dorin\u0163elor proprii pe planul al doilea, pentru c\u0103 \u0103la e starul rela\u0163iei, nu ele. \u015ei trebuie perpetuu s\u0103 se re\u0163in\u0103, s\u0103 nu par\u0103 prea de\u015ftepte, s\u0103 nu par\u0103 prea ambi\u0163ioase, s\u0103 nu par\u0103 prea bune la ceea ce fac, s\u0103 nu cumva s\u0103-l fac\u0103 pe starul rela\u0163iei s\u0103 se simt\u0103 inferior, pentru c\u0103 sunt castrante \u015fi atunci e vina lor c\u0103 \u0103la se rateaz\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pentru femei, versiunea rom\u00e2neasc\u0103 a c\u0103s\u0103toriei nu e tr\u0103it. E renun\u0163area la tr\u0103it. Tr\u0103itul \u00eencepe c\u00e2nd te prinzi c\u0103, dac\u0103 investe\u015fti \u00een tine tot efortul \u015fi toat\u0103 d\u0103ruirea pe care le bagi cu titlu obligatoriu \u00een anusul \u0103luia, chiar faci lucruri care \u00ee\u0163i plac \u015fi chiar derivi satisfac\u0163ie personal\u0103 din asta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Iar eu aleg s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc, \u015fi din acest motiv, aleg s\u0103 nu m\u0103 m\u0103rit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 nu ave\u0163i experien\u0163a \u015fi perspectiva unei femei, nu mai pov\u0103\u0163ui\u0163i femei ce s\u0103 fac\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie. Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***
Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aveam un om foarte apropiat care, acum c\u00e2\u0163iva ani, m\u0103 s\u00e2c\u00e2ia exhaustiv despre cum ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eemi g\u0103sesc \u015fi eu pe cineva. Grad...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14143,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/girl.jpg?fit=1280%2C871&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23425","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23425"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23425\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23428,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23425\/revisions\/23428"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14143"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}