Zilele astea, via\u0163a e chitit\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 surprind\u0103.<\/p>\n
1. O nou\u0103 form\u0103 de utilizare a barelor de metrou.<\/p>\n
\u015eti\u0163i bara aia de sus, creat\u0103 pentru ca tu \u015fi io s\u0103 ne \u0163inem, s\u0103 nu c\u0103dem \u00een fund? Ei bine, o doamn\u0103 bondoac\u0103 rotunjoar\u0103 din Sta\u0163ia Muncii a ajuns la concluzia c\u0103 merge \u015fi ca sus\u0163in\u0103tor de umera\u015f. Venea cu ciostumul de nun\u0163i \u015fi botezuri de la sp\u0103l\u0103torie, tras frumos la celofan. \u00ce\u015fi aga\u0163\u0103 frumos costumul de bar\u0103, ca la mama-n \u015fifonier, \u015fi se a\u015feaz\u0103 dedesubt. Triumf\u0103toare.<\/p>\n
2. O nou\u0103 form\u0103 de cer\u015fetorie<\/p>\n
\u00cemi iese \u00een cale un \u0163igan, flutur\u00e2nd un formular. “Ajuta\u0163i-m\u0103, v\u0103 roooog!” S\u0103 ce? “Uite, \u0103sta-i cerfiticatul d\u0103 deces al lui fii-miu \u015fi n-am bani d\u0103 sicriu!” Brrr. S\u0103 falsifici un certificat de deces e extrem, dar extrem de scabros. \u015ei penibil.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
3. O nou\u0103 form\u0103 de scos o femeie \u00een ora\u015f.<\/p>\n
M\u0103 invit\u0103 unu la cafea, cic\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi propun\u0103 o afacere. Ocazie cu care mi-am amintit s\u0103 mai spumeg pu\u0163in: Nu mai \u00eencerca\u0163i s\u0103 ajunge\u0163i la Boerescu prin mine! Nu-s o unealt\u0103 proast\u0103, pe care voi s\u0103 o manipula\u0163i cum vre\u0163i. Dac\u0103 ave\u0163i treab\u0103 cu Boerescu, omul are blog. Num\u0103rul de telefon al redac\u0163iei \u015fi mailul lui sunt disponibile pe www.playboyromania.ro. Sim\u0163i\u0163i-v\u0103 liberi s\u0103 \u00eel accesa\u0163i pe unde vre\u0163i.
\nA\u015fa, \u015fi m\u0103 invit\u0103 \u0103la \u00een ora\u015f, \u00een ideea de a \u00eemi cere o proptelu\u0163\u0103 la \u015fefu’. \u00cemi \u0163ine teoria chibritului, cum c\u0103 el se respect\u0103 \u015fi m\u0103 cheam\u0103 la lounge, la Howard Johnson. OK, zic eu, hai s\u0103 vedem. Odat\u0103 ajuns\u0103 la lounge, omul \u00eemi m\u0103rturise\u015fte candid c\u0103 \u015fi-a uitat cardul acas\u0103 \u015fi nu \u015ftie ce s\u0103 fac\u0103, dar putem merge la McDonalds dac\u0103 vreau! \ud83d\ude00 Adic\u0103, tu vrei s\u0103 \u00eemi ceri o punere de pil\u0103 \u015fi tot tu te a\u015ftep\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i pl\u0103tesc cafeaua? Acum ajung la concluzia c\u0103 certificatul de deces falsificat e mult mai pu\u0163in penibil, prin compara\u0163ie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Zilele astea, via\u0163a e chitit\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 surprind\u0103. 1. O nou\u0103 form\u0103 de utilizare a barelor de metrou. \u015eti\u0163i bara aia de sus, creat\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2348"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2348\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}