{"id":23782,"date":"2022-09-28T12:11:19","date_gmt":"2022-09-28T09:11:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=23782"},"modified":"2022-09-28T12:19:01","modified_gmt":"2022-09-28T09:19:01","slug":"supravietuitor-nu-victima","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/supravietuitor-nu-victima\/","title":{"rendered":"Supravie\u0163uitor, nu victim\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dup\u0103 o pauz\u0103 pricinuit\u0103 de lipsa de timp, de ni\u015fte probleme private \u015fi de un cumul de factori, voi relua podcastul Ce m\u0103 enerveaz\u0103 azi. \u015ei pentru c\u0103 un topic care \u00eemi pricinuie\u015fte enervare continu\u0103 e abuzul la adresa femeilor, episodul va fi cu Larisa Butnariu, unul dintre cei mai implica\u0163i activi\u015fti pentru drepturile femeilor pe care \u00eei cunosc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vorbind despre experien\u0163a ei cu traficul de persoane, am folosit \u00een c\u00e2teva locuri termenul de victim\u0103. Pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam la toate formele de \u00eenjosire \u015fi brutalizare, fizic\u0103 \u015fi moral\u0103, pe care le \u00eendur\u0103 persoanele traficate de la agresorii lor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Larisa, fat\u0103 delicat\u0103, nu m-a corectat \u00een \u00eenregistrare, de\u015fi a\u015f fi apreciat s-o fac\u0103. M-a corectat dup\u0103. Mi-a spus: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Te rog, nu mai folosi termenul de victim\u0103. Folose\u015fte termenul de supravie\u0163uitor. Muncesc cu toate fetele de care m\u0103 ocup, s\u0103 le fac s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 c\u0103 nu sunt victime, ci supravie\u0163uitori. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am \u00een\u0163eles \u015fi mi-am cerut scuze. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A fi victim\u0103 \u015fi a r\u0103m\u00e2ne victim\u0103 presupune a l\u0103sa abuzul pe care l-ai \u00eendurat s\u0103-\u0163i defineasc\u0103 via\u0163a \u015fi identitatea. V-am povestit de maic\u0103-mea care, la 30 de ani dup\u0103 ce a divor\u0163at de taic\u0103-miu, chit c\u0103 \u0103la nu a sup\u0103rat-o cu absolut nimic dup\u0103 divor\u0163 – sigur, nu \u015fi-a pl\u0103tit pensia alimentar\u0103, dar aceasta putea fi revendicat\u0103 legal, \u015fi dac\u0103 nu lup\u0163i pentru drepturile care-\u0163i sunt prejudiciate, ai parte din vin\u0103 pentru prejudiciu, de vreme ce te-ai compl\u0103cut. Dar strict pe partea de h\u0103r\u0163uire telefonic\u0103, verbal\u0103, fizic\u0103, probleme post-divor\u0163, pe care le experimenteaz\u0103 multe femei, taic\u0103-miu a fost civilizat, \u015fi-a v\u0103zut de ale lui, nu a \u00eempiedicat-o \u00een nimic ce \u015fi-a propus \u015fi nu i-a creat nicio nepl\u0103cere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015ei totu\u015fi, 30 de ani mai t\u00e2rziu, ea se v\u0103ic\u0103rea \u00een continuare c\u0103 a \u00een\u015felat-o \u015fi c\u0103 a trebuit s\u0103 divor\u0163eze \u015fi c\u0103 i-a ruinat via\u0163a, de parc\u0103 nu ar fi fost responsabil\u0103 de via\u0163a ei proprie din momentul \u00een care judec\u0103torul i-a declarat oficial pe cont propriu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asta e mentalitatea de victim\u0103 \u00eencremenit\u0103 \u00een proiect \u015fi e un pericol pentru fiecare dintre noi, indiferent de gravitatea abuzului suferit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015ei da, abuzurile suferite de persoanele care au trecut prin experien\u0163a r\u0103pirii \u015fi a coerci\u0163iei de a face sex cu str\u0103ini sunt absolut teribile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mentalitatea de supravie\u0163uitor se concentreaz\u0103 pe modul \u00een care te ridici din noroi. Pe refuzul de a pune semnul egal \u00eentre ce \u0163i s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat, sau ce \u0163i se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 chiar acum, \u015fi tine ca om. Mentalitatea de supravie\u0163uitor e cea care spune: “Eu pot crea o lume mai bun\u0103 pentru mine \u015fi iat\u0103 ce am de g\u00e2nd s\u0103 fac pentru asta”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Indiferent c\u00e2t de jos ai c\u0103zut, tu-supravie\u0163uitorul \u015ftii c\u0103 po\u0163i, \u015fi \u015ftii c\u0103 vrei, s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i reg\u0103se\u015fti puterea, libertatea \u015fi dreptul la o via\u0163\u0103 \u00eemplinit\u0103 \u015fi fericit\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Victima st\u0103 s\u0103 se vaiete, supravie\u0163uitorul identific\u0103 solu\u0163ii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Victima folose\u015fte v\u0103ic\u0103reala s\u0103 mai stoarc\u0103 ni\u015fte mil\u0103, supravie\u0163uitorul merge \u00eenainte \u015fi concentrarea lui e pe modul \u00een care ziua de m\u00e2ine va fi mai bun\u0103 dec\u00e2t cea de azi, pentru c\u0103 mila \u00eel insult\u0103 \u015fi vrea s\u0103 inspire respect. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E ok s\u0103 asimilezi un abuz \u015fi s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i identifici statutul de victim\u0103. Dar din secunda \u00een care o faci, concentreaz\u0103-te pe supravie\u0163uire. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u015fa vei trece prin loviturile vie\u0163ii (aka ale tic\u0103lo\u015filor din via\u0163a ta, \u015fi uneori propriile tale prostii, pentru c\u0103 de multe ori suntem propriii no\u015ftri tic\u0103lo\u015fi) cu fruntea \u00een sus \u015fi vei deriva putere, nu umilin\u0163\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie. Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***
Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dup\u0103 o pauz\u0103 pricinuit\u0103 de lipsa de timp, de ni\u015fte probleme private \u015fi de un cumul de factori, voi relua podcastul Ce m\u0103 enerveaz\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":23783,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/silhouette.jpg?fit=640%2C452&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23782","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23782"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23782\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23785,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23782\/revisions\/23785"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23783"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}