{"id":24110,"date":"2022-11-24T10:37:09","date_gmt":"2022-11-24T07:37:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=24110"},"modified":"2022-11-24T10:37:11","modified_gmt":"2022-11-24T07:37:11","slug":"cam-cum-o-sa-fie-testamentul-meu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cam-cum-o-sa-fie-testamentul-meu\/","title":{"rendered":"Cam cum o s\u0103 fie testamentul meu"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ieri, s-a n\u0103scut o discu\u0163ie foarte interesant\u0103 pe pagina mea, legat\u0103 de testament. O doamn\u0103 avocat a afirmat c\u0103 omul trebuie s\u0103 se preocupe de tot ce \u0163ine de decesul lui \u00eencep\u00e2nd de la 30 de ani, pentru c\u0103 m\u00e2nc\u0103m prost \u015fi tr\u0103im periculos, \u015fi nu \u015ftim dac\u0103 prindem ziua de m\u00e2ine, iar dac\u0103 nu avem ni\u015fte lucruri preg\u0103tite, \u00eei l\u0103s\u0103m pe familie \u015fi pe prieteni \u00een \u00eencurc\u0103tur\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cum am tot avut parte \u00een via\u0163\u0103 de genul care nu se ocup\u0103 de nimic, dar te las\u0103 \u00een \u00eencurc\u0103tur\u0103 – nu intru \u00een detalii, refuz s\u0103 fiu acest gen de om, \u015fi da, doamna avocat are dreptate. Nu la\u015fi lucruri la voia \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103rii, pentru c\u0103 poate te calc\u0103 m\u00e2ine o ma\u015fin\u0103 sau ceva. Voi merge c\u00e2t de cur\u00e2nd la un notar s\u0103-mi fac testamentul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Evident c\u0103-i las fratelui meu tot ce am, \u015ftiu c\u0103 va r\u0103m\u00e2ne pe m\u00e2ini bune. D\u0103h. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar chestia despre care vreau s\u0103 vorbesc \u00een acest articol, de fapt, este c\u0103 nu \u00eemi doresc un loc de veci, nu \u00eemi doresc 567890 de parastase \u015fi singurul aranjament post-mortem pentru mine va fi incinerarea cu pres\u0103rare prin ce p\u0103dure se nimere\u015fte prin preajm\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Legat de locul de veci: mi se par aberant \u015fi exagerat de scumpe. Eu nu-mi voi rupe de la gur\u0103 \u015fi din pasiunile mele acel gen de bani pentru absolut nimic \u00een lume, \u015fi nu voi cere nim\u0103nui altcuiva s\u0103 fac\u0103 una ca asta. M\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103 stau \u00een loc frumos \u015fi confortabil c\u00e2t timp sunt \u00een via\u0163\u0103. Ulterior, chiar NU am nicio preten\u0163ie, \u015fi s\u0103-\u015fi tuf\u0103 cineva banii pentru monument de marmur\u0103 pentru mine care oricum nu mai sunt acolo s\u0103 m\u0103 bucur de peisaj? Fereasc\u0103 domnul. Mai bine mi-i d\u0103 s\u0103 fac o excursie undeva \u00een \u0163\u0103rile calde, acum c\u00e2nd tr\u0103iesc, c\u0103 frigul de noiembrie m\u0103 deprim\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Legat de parastase. Noi \u00een Ardeal nu le avem, c\u0103 ardeleanul e practic. Te boce\u015fte \u015fi d\u0103 o mas\u0103 pentru tine dup\u0103 ce mori, \u015fi \u00een rest, s\u0103n\u0103tate \u015fi virtute. B\u0103i, dar \u00een restul \u0163\u0103rii se sparg bani \u00een amintirea r\u0103posatului, Dumnezeu s\u0103-l ierte, de nu le \u015ftii num\u0103rul, \u015fi nici nu conteaz\u0103 c\u0103 stai prost cu banii \u00een momentul \u0103la. Iei credit de nevoi personale \u015fi tot \u0163ii party-ul \u0103la lipsit de orice veselie, c\u0103 nu \u015fade frumos s\u0103 glume\u015fti c\u00e2nd bietul Vasile e mort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eu \u00eemi iubesc familia \u015fi NU \u00eemi doresc genul \u0103sta de tufere de bani aiurea. S\u0103-i \u0163in\u0103, s\u0103 se bucure de ei \u015fi s\u0103-mi mul\u0163umeasc\u0103 c\u0103 i-am scutit de deranj. Oricum am murit, nu \u00eemi mai pas\u0103. \u015ei \u00eenc\u0103 nu am \u00eent\u00e2lnit un om care s\u0103 a\u015ftepte cu ner\u0103bdare un parastas. S\u0103 se duc\u0103 de pl\u0103cere. S\u0103 zic\u0103 “n-am dormit patru zile de emo\u0163ie c\u0103 uite, azi e parastasul lui Vasile”. Lumea se duce de obliga\u0163ie, \u00een anticiparea faptului c\u0103 returnezi \u015fi tu favoarea, \u015fi dac\u0103 ai poman\u0103 de dat, o \u00eenghite cu noduri. Oric\u00e2t de bun\u0103 ar fi m\u00e2ncarea \u015fi oric\u00e2\u0163i bani ai dat pe ea, se r\u0103ce\u015fte \u015fi se face c\u00e2h p\u00e2n\u0103 se termin\u0103 slujba, pentru c\u0103 biserica n-are frigider. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah, iar legat de biseric\u0103. NU, \u015fi prin NU \u00een\u0163eleg N \u015fi U, nu acel “poate” pe care \u00eel \u00een\u0163eleg mereu gigeii c\u00e2nd sunt refuza\u0163i de o femeie, NU, NU, NUUUUUUUUU \u00eemi doresc nici un fel de slujb\u0103 de \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntare \u015fi fonf\u0103ial\u0103 pe nas de la BOR. Unu, c\u0103 i-am ur\u00e2t ca institu\u0163ie toat\u0103 via\u0163a mea. Doi, c\u0103 modul \u00een care este privit\u0103 femeia \u00een religie, ca etern subaltern care s\u0103 tac\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 dea bovin din cap, s\u0103 m\u0103ture, s\u0103 fac\u0103 m\u00e2ncare \u015fi s\u0103 se \u00eempuieze pe band\u0103 rulant\u0103 \u015fi, esen\u0163ial, s\u0103 fie “ru\u015finat\u0103” f\u0103r\u0103 vreo vin\u0103, e absolut revolt\u0103tor pentru orice femeie cu minimum un neuron func\u0163ional. \u015ei trei: voi a\u0163i remarcat cum jecm\u0103ne\u015fte biserica la orice slujb\u0103 funerar\u0103 fraierul \u00eendoliat? Icoan\u0103 nu \u015ftiu de care, 100 de lei, t\u0103m\u00e2ie, 100 de lei, nu mai \u015ftiu ce chestie infim\u0103, \u00eenc\u0103 o sut\u0103 de lei, rug\u0103ciune nu \u015ftiu de care, 50 de lei c\u0103 e Black Friday \u015fi ne rug\u0103m la reducere. \u015ei nici nu te po\u0163i t\u00e2rgui, c\u0103 a murit Vasile \u015fi e\u015fti rupt de durere, nu-\u0163i arde. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

NU sunt de acord ca familia mea s\u0103 fie supus\u0103 acestui tip de jecm\u0103neal\u0103 pentru mine. Prefer incinerare, eliberare \u00een natur\u0103 \u015fi, dac\u0103 cineva vrea s\u0103 bea un pahar de vin ro\u015fu sec \u015fi s\u0103 zic\u0103: “Uite, b\u0103, \u015fi lui Lupu i-a pl\u0103cut vinul ro\u015fu sec”, e toat\u0103 comemorarea de care o s\u0103 am vreodat\u0103 nevoie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah, \u015fi cine o s\u0103 chiar sufere dup\u0103 mine, s\u0103 adopte o pisic\u0103. Cel mai bun, juc\u0103u\u015f \u015fi cald companion de care ai nevoie ever. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cam at\u00e2t despre moarte \u015fi testament. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

OK, dar eu sunt \u00eenc\u0103 \u00een via\u0163\u0103, iar tu po\u0163i sus\u0163ine acest blog c\u00e2t timp are cine s\u0103-l continue \ud83d\ude00 .\u00a0Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ieri, s-a n\u0103scut o discu\u0163ie foarte interesant\u0103 pe pagina mea, legat\u0103 de testament. O doamn\u0103 avocat a afirmat c\u0103 omul trebuie s\u0103 se preocupe...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":24111,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24110","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/testament.jpg?fit=640%2C458&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24110","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24110"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24110\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24112,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24110\/revisions\/24112"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24111"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24110"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24110"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24110"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}