{"id":24317,"date":"2023-01-08T12:19:45","date_gmt":"2023-01-08T09:19:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=24317"},"modified":"2023-01-08T12:19:48","modified_gmt":"2023-01-08T09:19:48","slug":"zodiacul-prostiei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/zodiacul-prostiei\/","title":{"rendered":"Zodiacul prostiei"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dragi cititori, azi inaugur\u0103m un nou serial, pe care \u00eel intitul\u0103m “Se poate mai bine”. Conceptul este a\u015fa: vedem pe net ceea ce ar putea fi o idee bun\u0103, dar cu o execu\u0163ie lamentabil\u0103. Lu\u0103m ideea \u015fi o execut\u0103m, de data asta mai bine. Ca orice alt serial, \u015fi acesta poate fi sus\u0163inut cu c\u0103ldur\u0103 \u015fi generozitate pe PayPal.Me<\/a>. Dac\u0103 vre\u0163i s\u0103 \u015fi men\u0163iona\u0163i \u00een noti\u0163a \u00eenso\u0163itoare ce anume sus\u0163ine\u0163i c\u00e2nd trimite\u0163i o dona\u0163ie, asta m\u0103 ajut\u0103 s\u0103 livrez mai mult din ceea ce v\u0103 place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ideea de azi e un zodiac al femeilor proaste, pe care l-am v\u0103zut zilele trecute aici<\/a><\/strong>. Cic\u0103 pamflet. Dar cu c\u00e2t\u0103 furie \u015fi nef*** scrie cel \u00een cauz\u0103, am zice c\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi descrie ultimele tipe care i-au dat jet c\u00e2nd le h\u0103r\u0163uia cu mesaje private nesolicitate pe re\u0163ele sociale. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hai s\u0103-l ar\u0103t\u0103m lui Gigel cum se face, c\u00e2nd chiar ai arta pamfletului, shall we? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Berbecului<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Cum adic\u0103 nu se poate? Totul se poate dac\u0103 vreau eu, \u015fi fiindc\u0103 vreau eu. Nu te aud, nu te aud, NU TE AUD. Lalalalalaaaa, nu te aud. \u00cen loc s\u0103 vorbe\u015fti mult \u015fi s\u0103 nu te aud, mergi \u015fi faci cum am zis.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Taurului <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Sigur \u00ee\u0163i place ciorba cu fasole. Ba \u00ee\u0163i place, dar nu \u015ftii. Ai gustat-o pe a mea? \u015etii c\u0103 eu fierb fasolea \u00een n\u015fpe ape \u015fi pun \u015fi condimente din gr\u0103dina bunicii? Trebuie s\u0103 \u00eencerci, nu \u015ftii ce pierzi.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Gemenilor <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Da, da, o s\u0103 \u0163in minte. Sigur, sigur, e important. Aha. Aha. Da. Da, cum s\u0103 nu. \u0102\u0103\u0103, scuze, noi despre ce vorbeam? C\u0103 eu eram cu g\u00e2ndul la o po\u015fet\u0103 ro\u015fie pe care am v\u0103zut-o \u00een vitrin\u0103.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Racului. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“\u015ei totu\u015fi, dac\u0103 fac tot ce vrea \u015fi \u00eei ghicesc dorin\u0163ele din priviri, nu crezi c\u0103 o s\u0103 ajung\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 iubeasc\u0103? Sau m\u0103car s\u0103 m\u0103 aprecieze? Dragostea e un lucru magic, \u00eei transform\u0103 pe to\u0163i broscoii \u00een prin\u0163i, trebuie doar s\u0103 g\u0103sesc cuvintele potrivite.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Leului <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“\u015etii ceva? Hai s\u0103 ne mai lu\u0103m o ma\u015fin\u0103, c\u0103 ailalt\u0103 e demodat\u0103, e hitul lunii trecute. Sigur c\u0103 o s\u0103 avem bani, banii vin singuri c\u00e2nd \u015ftii s\u0103-i invoci. \u015ei dac\u0103 nu avem, \u00eei facem. Nu conteaz\u0103 cum, ne g\u00e2ndim c\u00e2nd n-o s\u0103 avem.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Fecioarei<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“\u015ei ce dac\u0103 am luat Premiul Nobel pentru Pace? Nu m\u0103 pot duce vineri s\u0103-l ridic, vineri e zi de cur\u0103\u0163enie, \u015fi degeaba ai un Nobel, dac\u0103 ai faian\u0163a murdar\u0103. Cum s\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103? S\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103 e zi de gr\u0103din\u0103rit. Zi-le s\u0103-l dea altuia, nu am timp de toate rahaturile.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Balan\u0163ei <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Rochia asta m\u0103 face s\u0103 par gras\u0103. Rochia asta m\u0103 face s\u0103 par \u015fi mai gras\u0103. Rochia asta m\u0103 face s\u0103 par hipopotam. Dar am solu\u0163ie. Hopa pe internet, \u015fi cump\u0103r\u0103m. Uite ce dr\u0103gu\u0163eee sunt rochiile astea S. Nu conteaz\u0103, o s\u0103 sl\u0103besc \u015fi intru eu \u00een ele.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Scorpionului <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“N-am nimic, e doar o r\u0103ceal\u0103. Nu ne batem capul cu toate prostiile, c\u00e2nd avem at\u00e2ta alcool de b\u0103ut. Aha, \u015fi ce dac\u0103 scuip s\u00e2nge? To\u0163i scuip\u0103 s\u00e2nge c\u00e2nd sunt un pic r\u0103ci\u0163i, nu? OK, atunci sunt special\u0103. S\u0103 bem pentru asta.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia S\u0103get\u0103torului<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“\u00cenc\u0103 zece minute \u015fi m\u0103 apuc de treab\u0103. Aha, ok, a trecut un sfert de or\u0103, dar mai am nevoie de zece minute. Da, imediat. Nuuuu, n-au trecut zece minute. Gata, m\u0103 apuc… imediat. Stai s\u0103-mi \u015fi vin\u0103 cheful. Imediat am zis. Cum, deja e 4 diminea\u0163a? D\u0103-m\u0103 naibii.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Capricornului <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Cine-s, m\u0103, prost\u0103l\u0103ii \u0103ia \u015fi ce vor ei? A, MENSA. Ni\u015fte pro\u015fti cu ifose, care se cred mari de\u015ftep\u0163i, d\u0103-i dracu’. Hai, c\u0103 m\u0103 plictisesc, s\u0103 schimb\u0103m canalul. Uite-i \u015fi pe \u0103\u015ftia, cu dezacordurile lor gramaticale. Hai, uite un film. Vai de plm. Cine v\u0103 face traducerile astea, Gigi Becali?” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia V\u0103rs\u0103torului<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nu-i adev\u0103rat, nu s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat. Nu, am zis c\u0103 nu-i adev\u0103rat. Nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 c\u0103 ai \u015fi dovezi, am zis c\u0103 nu-i adev\u0103rat. Nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 ce zice v\u0103ru-tu, c\u0103 a fost \u015fi el acolo. Poate m-a confundat cu altcineva. Poate visa. Nu \u015ftiu despre ce vorbi\u0163i \u015fi nu e adev\u0103rat. De ce are toat\u0103 lumea ceva cu mine?” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prostia Pe\u015ftilor <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Azi, c\u00e2nd m-am trezit, am sim\u0163it a\u015fa o ame\u0163eal\u0103 \u015fi o stare general\u0103 de r\u0103u. Oare sunt pe moarte? Oare e cancer? S\u0103 nu m\u0103 uita\u0163i dup\u0103 ce mor, v\u0103 rog eu frumos. Da, \u015ftiu deja c\u0103 o s\u0103 mor, \u00een fiecare zi m\u0103 doare c\u00e2te ceva, \u015fi \u015ftiu c\u0103 o s\u0103 apar\u0103 o pandemie mai cumplit\u0103 dec\u00e2t Covid, una cu bube.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015ei a\u015fa, drag internet, se face pamflet. Cu pl\u0103cere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 dore\u015fti mai mult pamflet, po\u0163i s\u0103 \u015fi sus\u0163ii rubrica. Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe Tiktok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dragi cititori, azi inaugur\u0103m un nou serial, pe care \u00eel intitul\u0103m “Se poate mai bine”. Conceptul este a\u015fa: vedem pe net ceea ce ar...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12815,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/astro.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24317","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24317"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24317\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24319,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24317\/revisions\/24319"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12815"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24317"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24317"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24317"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}