{"id":2445,"date":"2010-08-14T12:38:44","date_gmt":"2010-08-14T09:38:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=2445"},"modified":"2010-08-14T12:38:44","modified_gmt":"2010-08-14T09:38:44","slug":"angajez-negrisori","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/angajez-negrisori\/","title":{"rendered":"Angajez negri\u015fori"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Angajez negri\u015for cu z\u00e2mbet de maic\u0103lgecs\u0103n \u015fi frunz\u0103 mare de palmier \u00een dotare. Nu s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 v\u00e2nt &#8211; am ventilator. \u00cel \u0163in pe balcon, c\u0103 am alergie la el. \u015ei la aparatul de aer condi\u0163ionat de la job. De fapt vreau b\u0103taie cu frunza aia de palmier &#8211; poate e un mod mai eficient de a sc\u0103pa de c\u0103ldur\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Angajez \u00eenc\u0103 un negri\u015for s\u0103 \u00eemi fac\u0103 pedichiura. Ar trebui s\u0103 m\u0103 duc acum, dar nu am pic de chef s\u0103 ascult b\u00e2rfe de muieri proaste, cine cu cine s-a mai futut \u015fi pe c\u00e2t.<\/p>\n<p>Angajez un al treilea negri\u015for s\u0103 \u00eemi fac\u0103 limonad\u0103. S\u0103 culeag\u0103 menta proasp\u0103t\u0103 dintr-un loc umbros, s\u0103 cumpere miere de Verde Cafe (una dintre pu\u0163inele mieri bucure\u015ftene cu arom\u0103 de miere) \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eemi stoarc\u0103 l\u0103m\u00e2ile.<\/p>\n<p>Angajez al cincilea negri\u015for &#8211; un scrib gug\u0103lar \u015fi uichipedant &#8211; s\u0103 scrie ni\u015fte texte, c\u0103 nu am inspira\u0163ie acum.<\/p>\n<p>Angajez un al \u015faselea negri\u015for s\u0103 \u00eemi zic\u0103 bancuri. S\u0103 fie foarte-foarte haios, s\u0103 m\u0103 fac\u0103 s\u0103 r\u00e2d cu lacrimi, dar s\u0103 nu fie trivial \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eemi spun\u0103 numai bancuri pe care nu le \u015ftiu. <!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Angajez un al \u015faptelea negri\u015for s\u0103 dea ni\u015fte telefoane pe care nu am chef s\u0103 le dau.<\/p>\n<p>Angajez un al optulea negri\u015for s\u0103 \u00eemi r\u0103sfe\u0163e pisoiul. S\u0103 \u00eel alinte, s\u0103 \u00eei c\u00e2te gospeluri, s\u0103 \u00eei plimbe motocei pe la nas. S\u0103 \u00eel perie, s\u0103 \u00eel hr\u0103neasc\u0103, s\u0103 pun\u0103 rufele la loc atunci c\u00e2nd pisoiului meu textilofil i se scoal\u0103 penisul minuscul \u015fi roz, d\u0103 jos un raft de rufe  din care \u00ee\u015fi alege UNA SINGUR\u0102 (!) de futut<\/p>\n<p>Angajez un al nou\u0103lea negri\u015for pentru a-mi spune c\u0103 sunt frumoas\u0103 (24 \/ 7) \u015fi c\u0103 nu ar\u0103t gras\u0103 \u00een nimic. Nici m\u0103car \u00een h\u0103inu\u0163e de bebelu\u015fi.<\/p>\n<p>Angajez un al zecelea negri\u015for s\u0103 se ocupe de cazarea, hrana \u015fi actele celorlal\u0163i nou\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi, m\u0103 voi g\u00e2ndi la modalit\u0103\u0163i c\u00e2t mai ingenioase de a-i ucide pe cei zece negri\u015fori.<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/LKXUNRrYQd0?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>De fapt, ceea ce \u00eencercam s\u0103 spun &#8211; cam pe ocolite, e drept! &#8211; e c\u0103 mi-e foarte lene. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Angajez negri\u015for cu z\u00e2mbet de maic\u0103lgecs\u0103n \u015fi frunz\u0103 mare de palmier \u00een dotare. Nu s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 v\u00e2nt &#8211; am ventilator. \u00cel \u0163in pe balcon,&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2445"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2445\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}