{"id":24664,"date":"2023-03-14T03:43:13","date_gmt":"2023-03-14T00:43:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=24664"},"modified":"2023-03-14T03:43:16","modified_gmt":"2023-03-14T00:43:16","slug":"posta-redactiei-sotului-meu-nu-i-pasa-de-familie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-sotului-meu-nu-i-pasa-de-familie\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u015fta redac\u0163iei: So\u0163ului meu nu-i pas\u0103 de familie"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimi(te)\u021bi problema voastr\u0103 de suflet pe birou@lorenalupu.com. Noi citim, cuget\u0103m \u0219i analiz\u0103m, apoi propunem o solu\u021bie sau d\u0103m o opinie \u00ceNTR-UN ARTICOL PE BLOG.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sau \u00een consulta\u0163ie privat\u0103 remunerat\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Subliniez:&nbsp;<strong>dac\u0103 NU vrei s\u0103 scriu despre, NU-mi trimite o po\u015ft\u0103 a redac\u0163iei cu amendamentul \u201cdar vreau r\u0103spuns privat\u201d<\/strong>, dup\u0103 ce am citit un \u00eentreg roman fluviu. Exist\u0103 dou\u0103 op\u0163iuni: vrei formatul \u0103sta, sau \u00eemi recompensezi timpul. Merci de \u00een\u0163elegere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Scrisorica de azi spune a\u015fa:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Drag\u0103 Lorena,\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mul\u0163umesc anticipat pentru disponibilitatea de a citi povestea mea.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Am 46 ani \u015fi sunt c\u0103s\u0103torit\u0103. De\u015fi ai mei nu au fost boga\u0163i, m-au r\u0103sf\u0103\u0163at cat au putut. C\u00e2nd m-am c\u0103s\u0103torit, eram optimist\u0103 \u00een leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu banii. \u015ei meseria mea era promi\u0163\u0103toare c\u00e2nd am terminat facultatea, deci, teoretic, la acest moment ar trebui s\u0103 fiu bogat\u0103 \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 griji, dar nu sunt. \u00centre copii, concediul de maternitate \u015fi cheltuielile de cuplu, nu am reu\u015fit s\u0103 punem bani de-o parte. So\u0163ul meu, M., a f\u0103cut un infarct c\u00e2nd erau copiii mici, \u015fi, de atunci, s-a schimbat foarte mult. Niciodat\u0103  nu a fost econom, dar m\u0103car eram pe aceeasi lungime de und\u0103, c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eencerc\u0103m s\u0103 economisim. A devenit foarte risipitor, \u015fi-a cump\u0103rat tot felul de electronice scumpe \u00een rate, a insistat s\u0103 mergem \u00een concediu la hoteluri de 4-5 stele, pe scurt, a \u00eenceput s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi duc\u0103 via\u0163a ca \u015fi cum ar putea muri m\u00e2ine \u015fi dup\u0103 el, potopul. Pe mine, acela\u015fi eveniment m-a schimbat \u00een sens invers. M-a f\u0103cut mai str\u00e2ng\u0103toare, mai preocupat\u0103 de viitorul \u00eendep\u0103rtat, de pensie, de viitorul copiilor. De\u015fi \u00eel \u00een\u0163eleg c\u0103 a trecut printr-un eveniment traumatizant, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 moarte, am putea spune, m\u0103 doare s\u0103 v\u0103d c\u0103 parc\u0103 nu \u00eei mai pas\u0103 de familie.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Am \u00eencercat s\u0103-l conving s\u0103 facem un plan de economii, s\u0103 renun\u0163e la rate, la obiectele scumpe care se devalorizeaz\u0103 rapid, dar nu am avut cu cine s\u0103 discut. Dup\u0103 certuri epuizante, am ajuns la concluzia c\u0103 sunt pe cont propriu, c\u0103 nu m\u0103 pot bizui pe el, \u015fi cel mai trist, c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 ascund bani de el. De\u015fi serviciul nu mi-a mers a\u015fa bine cum am sperat, de\u015fi am stat mult acas\u0103 cu copiii \u015fi el nu a contribuit cu aproape nimic la cheltuielile casei, am reu\u015fit s\u0103 pun deoparte ni\u015fte bani \u015fi chiar s\u0103-mi monetizez hobby-ul. P\u00e2n\u0103 acum, c\u0103snicia noastr\u0103 a mers ca o biciclet\u0103 stricat\u0103, dar a mers. Din p\u0103cate, \u00eencep s\u0103 am probleme de s\u0103n\u0103tate. \u00cen viitor, nu voi mai putea lucra ca p\u00e2n\u0103 acum. \u015etiind c\u0103 i-a crescut salariul, am deschis din nou subiectul unei surse pasive de venit. I-am propus s\u0103 cump\u0103r\u0103m un apartament \u00een ora\u015f \u015fi s\u0103-l d\u0103m \u00een chirie. Cu ce bani am pus deoparte, \u015fi dac\u0103 \u00eemi v\u00e2nd colec\u0163ionabilele ( care au fost tot o investi\u0163ie, pentru c\u0103 le-a crescut valoarea), am putea avea la var\u0103, c\u00e2nd sper s\u0103 scad\u0103 dob\u00e2nzile, suficient pentru avans. O asemenea achizi\u0163ie se face asumat \u00een cuplu, zic eu, pentru c\u0103 presupune c\u0103 familia va avea nevoie de ambele venituri pentru a duce un credit ipotecar, \u015fi, \u00een plus, un apartament nu e o po\u015fet\u0103 pe care s\u0103 o po\u0163i cump\u0103ra \u00een secret \u015fi apoi s\u0103 spui c\u0103 a fost la reducere \ud83d\ude09 . R\u0103spunsul lui a fost NU. Uimitor, e ok s\u0103 cumperi al cincilea tv cu diagonal\u0103 mare \u00een rate, dar un imobil al c\u0103rui valoare cre\u015fte \u00een timp \u015fi poate produce venit, nu.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Acum, sunt blocat\u0103. Nu \u015ftiu ce s\u0103 fac. Nu vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 despart de el sau s\u0103 divor\u0163ez. \u00cen ciuda numeroaselor lui defecte, nu e un om r\u0103u, e un tat\u0103 acceptabil, un so\u0163 implicat, amuzant \u015fi pl\u0103cut c\u00e2nd e \u00een toane bune. Nici eu nu sunt perfect\u0103, evident. Dar nici a\u015fa cum suntem nu mai putem continua. Copiii cresc, urmeaz\u0103 s\u0103 avem cu ei cheltuieli tot mai mari. Dac\u0103 nu avem grij\u0103, dac\u0103 nu \u00eencepem s\u0103 lu\u0103m ni\u015fte decizii financiare bune, faliment scrie pe noi. Ori eu nu sunt preg\u0103tit\u0103 s\u0103 accept c\u0103 voi tr\u0103i dintr-o pensie mizer\u0103, numai pentru c\u0103 so\u0163ul meu nu e dispus s\u0103 se educe financiar \u015fi s\u0103 ia ni\u015fte decizii mature. Men\u0163ionez c\u0103 am \u00eencercat toate metodele de persuasiune, de la discu\u0163ii sincere \u015fi directe, la apropouri mai mult sau mai pu\u0163in subtile \u015fi manipul\u0103ri amoroase. S-ar putea crede c\u0103 ascunde \u015fi el bani, c\u0103 are o amant\u0103, dar nu cred, fiindc\u0103 v\u0103d \u00een cas\u0103 pe ce se duce salariul lui. Cred c\u0103 nu suntem compatibili financiar \u015fi gata.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Deci, ce pot s\u0103 fac? Cum s\u0103-mi conving so\u0163ul c\u0103 viitorul exist\u0103, \u015fi trebuie s\u0103 ne preg\u0103tim din timp pentru el?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Cu stim\u0103, <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>X. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Drag\u0103 X., <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cred c\u0103 \u015ftii \u015fi tu ce ai de f\u0103cut, \u015fi mi-ai scris doar pentru a-\u0163i confirma c\u0103 ai dreptate. Ba da, vrei s\u0103 divor\u0163ezi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nu po\u0163i s\u0103-l nume\u015fti un tat\u0103  acceptabil c\u00e2nd deciziile lui nu \u0163in deloc cont de viitorul copilului, \u015fi nici un so\u0163 implicat c\u00e2nd tot tu spui c\u0103 e orb \u015fi surd la cheltuielile casei, \u015fi nu-l intereseaz\u0103 dec\u00e2t s\u0103 f bani pe propriile lui pl\u0103ceri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nu, nu zic c\u0103 e important s\u0103 ai  propriile pl\u0103ceri. Dar c\u00e2nd, ca tat\u0103 de familie, neglijezi familia pentru c\u0103 vrei sejururi de lux, haimar\u015f de-aici. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>M\u0103 \u00eentrebi cum s\u0103-l convingi c\u00e2nd spui, tot tu, c\u0103 ai \u00eencercat toate metodele de persuasiune. \u015ei \u015ftii, ca mine, c\u0103 nu ai cum. Dac\u0103 un om nu vrea s\u0103 se schimbe, s\u0103 devin\u0103 responsabil, po\u0163i s\u0103 tragi de el ca de cal mort \u015fi nu se va schimba. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u015ei s\u0103 ajungi s\u0103 ascunzi bani de un risipitor iresponsabil? Not in this lifetime. Numai detaliul \u0103sta ne spune c\u0103 nu mai ai ce c\u0103uta cu el. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cred c\u0103 inclusiv problemele tale de s\u0103n\u0103tate sunt generate de faptul c\u0103 tu munce\u015fti ca dementa s\u0103 produci bani, pentru c\u0103 e\u015fti (pe drept cuv\u00e2nt) con\u015ftient\u0103 \u015fi responsabil\u0103 de nevoile copiilor \u015fi de ale tale pe termen lung, \u015fi vezi c\u0103 el nu te ajut\u0103 cu nimic \u00een asta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cum tot nu contribuie \u00een gospod\u0103rie, cred c\u0103 te vei descurca mult mai bine de una singur\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Copiii t\u0103i au nevoie de minimum un p\u0103rinte s\u0103n\u0103tos, puternic, pe care s\u0103 se poat\u0103 baza, \u015fi ne e clar \u015fi mie \u015fi \u0163ie c\u0103 el nu e \u0103la. Divor\u0163 asap. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dac\u0103 vrei ceva amuzant \u015fi pl\u0103cut, ai colec\u0163ia de stand-up comedy de pe Netflix. Un partener de via\u0163\u0103, \u00eens\u0103, trebuie s\u0103 fie un st\u00e2lp pe care s\u0103 te po\u0163i baza \u015fi un om cu care s\u0103 po\u0163i organiza viitorul. <br>Iar \u0103sta nu e acel om. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00cen plus, pentru \u0103\u015ftia care au mereu bani de sejururi \u015fi lux, dar nu cotizeaz\u0103 un ban \u00een cas\u0103, pentru c\u0103 proasta e \u015fi slug\u0103, dar \u015fi finan\u0163ator oficial al competi\u0163iei, dup\u0103 divor\u0163, \u00eel oblig\u0103 statul s\u0103 vireze pensia alimentar\u0103 pentru copii minori. Iar potera nu o iei la mi\u015fto, cum \u00ee\u0163i iei nevasta \u015fi copiii pe care-i \u015ftii incapabili de un dos de palm\u0103 s\u0103-\u0163i sar\u0103 mucii de cordac neserios. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bag\u0103 actele alea de divor\u0163 m\u00e2ine, ia-\u0163i copiii \u015fi colec\u0163ionabilele \u015fi bucur\u0103-te c\u0103 nu \u0163i-ai b\u0103gat toate economiile personale \u00eentr-un apartament la comun care, \u00een cazul divor\u0163ului, s-ar fi \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163it \u00een doi. Vrea s\u0103 fie adolescent \u00eent\u00e2rziat? Treaba lui. Dar nu cu tine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pariem c\u0103 vor citi \u015fi b\u0103rba\u0163i cu familii, ta\u0163i buni \u015fi cu adev\u0103rat implica\u0163i, acest text, \u015fi o s\u0103-\u0163i spun\u0103 c\u0103 nu vor plasa niciodat\u0103 al cincilea home cinema peste nevoile familiei \u015fi viitorul copiilor? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Copiii t\u0103i au nevoie de tine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ia-i \u015fi pleac\u0103, divor\u0163eaz\u0103 \u015fi tr\u0103ie\u015fte \u00een stabilitatea pe care \u0163i-o creezi singur\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103, <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lorena. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Acest site \u00ee\u015fi poate continua activitatea doar cu sus\u0163inerea cititorilor.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.paypal.com\/paypalme\/Trollywood\"><strong>Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14577\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCCHBtHi6S2GlUFqETH70cjQ\">YouTube<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi pe<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@lorena.lupu\">\u00a0Tiktok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimi(te)\u021bi problema voastr\u0103 de suflet&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":24666,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/the-man-and-the-woamn-gfcd7d6e08_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24664","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24664"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24664\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24665,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24664\/revisions\/24665"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24666"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24664"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24664"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24664"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}