{"id":24669,"date":"2023-03-15T14:34:11","date_gmt":"2023-03-15T11:34:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=24669"},"modified":"2023-03-15T14:42:44","modified_gmt":"2023-03-15T11:42:44","slug":"banii-intr-un-cuplu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/banii-intr-un-cuplu\/","title":{"rendered":"Banii \u00eentr-un cuplu"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ieri,<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-sotului-meu-nu-i-pasa-de-familie\/\">po\u015fta redac\u0163iei<\/a><\/strong> a st\u00e2rnit mare zarv\u0103 pe blogul meu \u015fi pe social media pe care am sharuit-o. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dac\u0103 \u0163i-e lene s\u0103 dai click pe link, reamintesc spe\u0163a. \u00cemi scrie o so\u0163ie nemul\u0163umit\u0103. So\u0163ul ei cheltuie\u015fte mare parte din venitul familiei pe obiecte scumpe \u015fi sejururi la 5 stele, nu contribuie la cheltuielile familiei \u015fi la \u00eentre\u0163inerea copiilor \u015fi refuz\u0103 s\u0103 se g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 la viitorul lor, cu o investi\u0163ie \u00eentr-un apartament care s\u0103 produc\u0103 un venit suplimentar. Clienta are un job \u015fi un mic business cu care produce bani s\u0103 \u00eentre\u0163in\u0103 familia, \u015fi s\u0103n\u0103tatea ei e lately \u015fubrezit\u0103 de acest efort (la care b\u0103rbatul nu particip\u0103) \u015fi de grija zilei de m\u00e2ine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Majoritatea femeilor s-au transpus \u00een situa\u0163ie \u015fi au zis divor\u0163 instant. Un num\u0103r semnificativ de b\u0103rba\u0163i (slav\u0103 Domnului, exist\u0103 \u015fi b\u0103rba\u0163i de bun sim\u0163) au zis acela\u015fi lucru: c\u0103 nu rupi de la gura copiilor s\u0103-\u0163i cumperi lunar televizor nou. C\u0103 da, po\u0163i bugeta o sum\u0103 oarecare pentru divertisment, dar asta s\u0103 fie suma care r\u0103m\u00e2ne dup\u0103 acoperirea celor necesare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dar mai sunt \u015fi specimene ca \u0103sta: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Gheorghiu Bobita Petre<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Pentru c\u0103 un so\u021b cump\u0103r\u0103 lucruri bune \u00een cas\u0103, \u00ee\u0219i duce familia \u00een concediu \u00een condi\u021bii de decen\u021b\u0103 \u0219i nu de &#8220;sindcat&#8221;, pentru c\u0103 vrea s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103 cu familia ziua de ast\u0103zi \u0219i nu ziua de m\u00e2ine , trebuie executat cu un divor\u021b<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Bine c\u0103 nu este un caz real.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">*<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Gigele, singurii oameni c\u0103ruia acest blog le datoreaz\u0103 raport sunt donatorii lui, \u015fi dac\u0103 erai printre ei, \u00ee\u0163i puteam furniza un  print screen al mailului, cu numele autoarei blurat, pentru c\u0103 po\u015fta redac\u0163iei garanteaz\u0103 anonimatul. Dar cum nu contribui cu nimic pe aici, eu nu trebuie s\u0103-\u0163i demonstrez nimic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dar lucrurile &#8220;bune&#8221; nu le cumperi f\u0103r\u0103 o lua \u00een calcul bugetul cuplului, \u00eent\u00e2i te asiguri de decen\u0163a de zi cu zi \u00eenainte de cea a extravagan\u0163elor \u015fi da, c\u00e2nd nu \u00een\u0163elegi asta nici de vorb\u0103 bun\u0103, nici de vorb\u0103 nebun\u0103, ultima solu\u0163ie e divor\u0163ul. R\u0103m\u00e2i tu cu colec\u0163ia ta de televizoare \u015fi rate, care nu au de ce s\u0103 afecteze bugetul viitor al copiilor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dar iat\u0103 de unde vin mentalit\u0103\u0163i ca a acestui individ: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Exist\u0103 online conturi social media, siteuri \u015fi forumuri de &#8220;neomasculinitate&#8221;, &#8220;Red pill&#8221; sau &#8220;manosfer\u0103&#8221;, cu care diver\u015fi guru autointitula\u0163i atrag b\u0103rba\u0163i naivi \u015fi imaturi cu o retoric\u0103 bazat\u0103 pe minimalizarea femeii, negarea drepturilor ei, reducerea ei la obiect sexual \u015fi unealt\u0103 domestic\u0103 \u015fi ignorarea voin\u0163ei \u015fi deciziilor ei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cum \u00eei remarc pe \u0103\u015ftia \u00een sec\u0163iunea de comentarii, cum \u00eei avertizez cu c\u00e2teva comentarii c\u0103 retorica &#8220;neomasculin\u0103&#8221; nu \u0163ine aici, \u015fi dac\u0103 nu pare s\u0103 le pice fisa, block direct. Ieri, de exemplu, am blocat pe Insta un tip care se \u00eenfiin\u0163ase sub un clip cu &#8220;nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 ce zici acolo, dar ai s\u00e2ni frumo\u015fi&#8221;. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Unu la m\u00e2n\u0103, social media mea e pentru cei interesa\u0163i ce zic acolo, dou\u0103 la m\u00e2n\u0103, chiar nu te prive\u015fte cum am eu s\u00e2nii \u015fi \u00een calitatea ta de necunoscut, nu  ai nici un temei s\u0103-i comentezi. A revenit cu o prostie de genul &#8220;Nu te \u00eempaci nicicum cu condi\u0163ia ta de femeie&#8221;. Atunci m-am prins c\u0103 e \u00eendoctrinat crunt \u015fi, cum nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103 irosesc mult timp s\u0103-i explic unui b\u0103g\u0103tor \u00een seam\u0103 oarecare c\u0103 femeile sunt \u00een primul r\u00e2nd oameni, i-am ars un block. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">OK, \u00eenchid paranteza. Ace\u015fti red pill sau neomasculi predic\u0103 pe plan financiar ideea c\u0103 b\u0103rbatul ia toate deciziile legate de cuplu \u015fi c\u0103 se poate folosi \u00een mod liber de femeie, ca de o proprietate. Comportament pe care-l reg\u0103sim \u015fi la so\u0163ul doamnei care mi-a scris pentru po\u015fta redac\u0163iei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Singurul cuplu \u00een care e normal ca b\u0103rbatul s\u0103 ia un num\u0103r majoritar de decizii e cel de genul: milionar se \u00eensoar\u0103 cu casnic\u0103. Da, el aduce banii, el ia decizii mai multe. De ce majoritar \u015fi nu 100%? Pentru c\u0103, de\u015fi nu aduce cash, nevasta munce\u015fte \u00een cas\u0103 \u015fi se ocup\u0103 de copii, ceea ce este tot munc\u0103 \u015fi ceea ce genereaz\u0103 valoare economic\u0103. Iar deciziile legate de cele necesare \u00een cas\u0103 \u015fi pentru copii trebuie luate \u00een comun, de vreme ce femeia e cea care petrece timp \u00een cas\u0103 \u015fi cu copiii \u015fi ea \u015ftie de ce e nevoie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dar majoritatea cuplurilor moderne, inclusiv cel descris \u00een mail, implic\u0103 doi oameni care muncesc \u015fi care aduc am\u00e2ndoi un venit. Uneori relativ similar, alteori cu diferen\u0163e minore. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Iar \u00een astfel de cupluri, mentalitatea red pill NU ARE CE S\u0102 CAUTE. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">C\u00e2nd nevast\u0103-ta vine acas\u0103 cu un paycheck similar cu al t\u0103u, am\u00e2ndoi ave\u0163i p*l\u0103 \u015fi discuta\u0163i de la egal la egal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u0103 repet, s\u0103 se priceap\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la cucurigu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>C\u00e2nd nevast\u0103-ta vine acas\u0103 cu un paycheck similar cu al t\u0103u, am\u00e2ndoi ave\u0163i p*l\u0103 \u015fi discuta\u0163i de la egal la egal. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A treia oar\u0103, doar pentru Ghi\u0163\u0103 Bobi\u0163\u0103, cel cu comentariul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>C\u00e2nd nevast\u0103-ta vine acas\u0103 cu un paycheck similar cu al t\u0103u, am\u00e2ndoi ave\u0163i p*l\u0103 \u015fi discuta\u0163i de la egal la egal. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">OK. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eu acum sunt single, pentru c\u0103 vreau s\u0103-mi investesc toat\u0103 energia creativ\u0103 \u00een proiecte lucrative, dar am fost \u00eentr-o rela\u0163ie fericit\u0103 la un moment dat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Iat\u0103 dinamica financiar\u0103, care cred c\u0103 e \u00een linii mari aceea\u015fi cu a tuturor cuplurilor func\u0163ionale: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Se pun banii la comun, minus o sum\u0103 lunar\u0103 pe care fiecare \u00een parte o cheltuie\u015fte pe ce vrea mu\u015fchiul lui \u015fi nu d\u0103 explica\u0163ii. Se nume\u015fte bugetul lunar de fun, iar dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103-l pui deoparte \u015fi s\u0103-\u0163i iei televizor din el, de\u015fi ai altele patru, treaba ta. Dar bugetul lunar de fun E \u00ceNTR-UN CUANTUM REZONABIL RAPORTAT LA BUGETUL TOTAL. Nu, nu m\u0103n\u00e2nc o lun\u0103 p\u00e2ine cu mu\u015ftar pentru c\u0103 vrei tu ultimul iPhone, iar dac\u0103 iei decizia asta f\u0103r\u0103 acordul meu, dintr-un buget format \u015fi din banii mei, rela\u0163ia se \u00eencheie \u00een exact acel moment \u015fi nu mai avem ce altceva s\u0103 discut\u0103m vreodat\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Banii la comun se cheltuiesc pe baza unor decizii comune, luate \u00een urma unor discu\u0163ii. Fiecare partener exprim\u0103 ce e important pentru el, ne ascult\u0103m, \u015fi lu\u0103m decizii care s\u0103 ne mul\u0163umeasc\u0103 \u00eentr-o m\u0103sur\u0103 c\u00e2t mai mare pe am\u00e2ndoi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Deci, Ghi\u0163\u0103 Bobi\u0163\u0103, nu iei lucruri bune pe care n-am stabilit \u00een comun c\u0103 le dorim \u015fi nu &#8220;\u00ee\u0163i duci&#8221; familia &#8220;\u00een condi\u0163ii de decen\u0163\u0103&#8221; dac\u0103 n-am stabilit \u00een comun c\u0103 ne permitem asta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u015ei nu, dac\u0103 e din banii no\u015ftri comuni, unde venitul meu e gen jum\u0103tate, nu &#8220;iei&#8221; \u015fi nu &#8220;\u00ee\u0163i duci&#8221;, pentru c\u0103 nu ai muncit tu de to\u0163i banii, am muncit am\u00e2ndoi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"> Mentalitatea red pill v\u0103 spune c\u0103 sunte\u0163i st\u0103p\u00e2ni pe femeie \u015fi implicit pe banii munci\u0163i de ea. De aceea \u00ee\u015fi permitea Andrew Tate s\u0103 ia to\u0163i banii chatistelor \u015fi s\u0103 le fac\u0103 troac\u0103 de porci pentru c\u0103-\u015fi cereau drepturile. Dar mentalitatea red pill e toxic\u0103 \u015fi eronat\u0103, le face pe femei s\u0103 v\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103seasc\u0103 dup\u0103 ce-\u015fi dau seama c\u0103 le e mai bine economic s\u0103 fie singure \u015fi s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 lini\u015ftite din munca lor, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 lua\u0163i voi decizii idioate \u015fi egoiste pe banii lor \u015fi s\u0103 se pomeneasc\u0103 c\u0103, de\u015fi fac un salariu decent, nu au cele necesare \u015fi sunt \u00eenglodate \u00een credite pentru care nu au fost consultate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 iei singur decizii financiare, devino milionar sau r\u0103m\u00e2i single. Dac\u0103 vrei o familie, asum\u0103-\u0163i c\u0103 deciziile se iau \u00een comun \u015fi c\u0103 cele necesare pentru traiul zilnic sunt primordiale. Iar dac\u0103 vrei \u015fi copii, \u0163ii cont c\u0103 ace\u015ftia implic\u0103 cheltuieli \u015fi nu-\u0163i iei \u0163ie rahaturi \u015fi o la\u015fi pe am\u0103r\u00e2t\u0103 s\u0103-i \u00eentre\u0163in\u0103 din al doilea job. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pretinsa superioritate a b\u0103rbatului din vremurile apuse se baza pe un singur detaliu: acesta aducea to\u0163i banii acas\u0103. Nu mai e cazul, deci, asuma\u0163i-v\u0103 traiul \u00eentr-un parteneriat egal. Dac\u0103 nu pute\u0163i, enjoy laba \u015fi s*x workers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Acest site \u00ee\u015fi poate continua activitatea doar cu sus\u0163inerea cititorilor.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.paypal.com\/paypalme\/Trollywood\"><strong>Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14577\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong>&nbsp;\u015fi&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCCHBtHi6S2GlUFqETH70cjQ\">YouTube<\/a><\/strong>&nbsp;\u015fi pe<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@lorena.lupu\">&nbsp;Tiktok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ieri, po\u015fta redac\u0163iei a st\u00e2rnit mare zarv\u0103 pe blogul meu \u015fi pe social media pe care am sharuit-o. Dac\u0103 \u0163i-e lene s\u0103 dai click&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":22102,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24669","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/bani.jpg?fit=640%2C364&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24669","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24669"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24669\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24672,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24669\/revisions\/24672"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22102"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24669"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24669"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24669"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}