{"id":24814,"date":"2023-04-08T11:14:49","date_gmt":"2023-04-08T08:14:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=24814"},"modified":"2023-04-08T11:23:35","modified_gmt":"2023-04-08T08:23:35","slug":"posta-redactiei-inca-un-sot-toxic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-inca-un-sot-toxic\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u015fta redac\u0163iei: \u00cenc\u0103 un so\u0163 toxic"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>&#8230;ca \u00een ultima vreme po\u015fta redac\u0163iei ar putea fi redenumit\u0103 Rubrica de so\u0163i toxici. Sau, ca s\u0103-l parafraz\u0103m pe Mircea C\u0103rt\u0103rescu, &#8220;De ce ur\u00e2m b\u0103rba\u0163ii&#8221;. Nu eu, c\u0103 eu nu am nimic cu b\u0103rba\u0163ii, doar cu tentativele e\u015fuate \u015fi low quality care m\u0103 h\u0103r\u0163uiesc nesolicitat. Autoarele aici prezente. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Deja \u015fti\u0163i cum st\u0103 treaba cu po\u015fta redac\u0163iei, tu \u00eemi dai mail cu ce te sup\u0103r\u0103, eu r\u0103spund anonim &#8211; \u015fi foarte sincer &#8211; \u00een aceast\u0103 rubric\u0103. De multe ori n-o s\u0103-\u0163i plac\u0103 ce cite\u015fti, dar scopul rubricii nu e s\u0103 te pup \u00een c*r. Acest status se ob\u0163ine dup\u0103 ce dona\u0163iile cumulate dep\u0103\u015fesc miarul de iepuroi. Scopul rubricii e  s\u0103 analiz\u0103m rece \u015fi obiectiv situa\u0163ia. Dac\u0103 te microagreseaz\u0103 onestitatea, angajeaz\u0103 un psiholog. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u015ei cu asta, trecem la mail. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Buna, Lorena,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Sa stii ca-ti scriu fix ca unei prietene. O prietena pe care nu o am..&nbsp;nu din vina mea, pur si simplu se-ntampla.&nbsp;Nu mai am nicio prietena in Romania&nbsp;\ud83d\ude0a&nbsp;(cred ca toti oamenii buni pleaca..)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>N-o sa te plictisesc cu povestea mea .( Sunt in punctul de-a divorta de singura persoana in care am crezut)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Sunt depressiva, laconica, nu vreau sa ranesc, dar o fac:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>&nbsp;Imi urasc sotul, il cunosc de cand aveam 13 ani.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>&nbsp;Imi iubesc sotul, a fost mereu langa mine.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Imi urasc sotul, i-am spus ca am fost abuzata sexual de tatal meu vitreg, de profesorul de sport, de&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Imi iubesc sotul, a fost singura persoana careia ii puteam spune tot&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Imi urasc sotul pentru ca e barbat, pentru ca injura femeile in trafic, pentru ca pleaca in Sfantul Munte Atos&nbsp;\ud83d\ude0a) unde are un frate la fel de &#8220;barbat&#8221; si cu aceleasi slabiciuni ca si el.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Imi iubesc sotul pentru ca inca ma mai suporta.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Intrebarea e: Cat sa mai suport eu? Eu, ca femeie, intr-o lume in care barbatii au voie orice iar femeile&nbsp; sunt condamnate de alte femei..<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>O sa-mi spun totusi o parte din poveste:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>L-am ajutat sa ia bacalaureatul si sa vorbeasca engleza in misiunea lui din Kosovo.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Stiu ca par nesemnificativa, dar sunt lucruri pe care eu le-am facut ca sa fie el mai bine in timp ce el  facea totul sa renunt la tot ce-mi facea viata mai buna \ud83d\ude42<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>X. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Drag\u0103 X.,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Preferam s\u0103-mi spui povestea propriu-zis\u0103, \u00een locul acestei pseudopoezii protofeministe \u00een vers alb care ar fi fost la mod\u0103 \u00een perioada interbelic\u0103, c\u00e2nd \u00eenc\u0103 era ru\u015fine s\u0103 ai un job c\u00e2nd e\u015fti femeie, sau s\u0103 divor\u0163ezi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00cencerc s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleg c\u0103 tu te-ai sacrificat pe altarul egoului so\u0163ului t\u0103u, \u00een timp ce el &#8220;te-a pus s\u0103 renun\u0163i la tot ce-\u0163i f\u0103cea via\u0163a mai bun\u0103&#8221;. Acum, de ce ai acceptat s\u0103 renun\u0163i \u00een loc s\u0103 zici: &#8220;sorry, chestia asta \u00eemi face via\u0163a mai bun\u0103, p\u00e2n-aici!&#8221; e partea pentru care mailul t\u0103u nu \u00eemi ofer\u0103 un r\u0103spuns. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dar s\u0103 zicem c\u0103 se repet\u0103 schema \u00een care el e un profitor nenorocit, iar tu, o victim\u0103 nevinovat\u0103 cu ochi mari \u015fi limpezi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dac\u0103 nu ave\u0163i copii, divor\u0163ul ia fix un sfert de or\u0103 la notar \u015fi e\u015fti liber\u0103 ca din secunda aia s\u0103 iei \u00een bra\u0163e tot ce-\u0163i face via\u0163a mai bun\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eencepi via\u0163a de la zero. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dar, hear me out: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>O tendin\u0163\u0103 extrem de gre\u015fit\u0103 \u015fi de p\u0103guboas\u0103, prezent\u0103 mai ales la femei, e inabilitatea de a dep\u0103\u015fi trecutul \u015fi nevoia de a-l retr\u0103i iar \u015fi iar \u015fi de a pierde timp repro\u015f\u00e2ndu-i imaginar \u0103luia tot ce nu au avut c0@ie s\u0103-i repro\u015feze face to face. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Exemplul pe care-l dau mereu e maic\u0103-mea care, la 30 de ani dup\u0103 divor\u0163ul de taic\u0103-meu, \u00eenc\u0103 m\u0103 plictisea cu &#8220;\u015ftii ce a f\u0103cut nemernicul c\u00e2nd eram c\u0103s\u0103tori\u0163i?&#8221; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00cen primii zece ani, am comp\u0103timit-o cu inim\u0103 nevinovat\u0103 \u015fi empatic\u0103 de copil, \u00een urm\u0103torii zece, am schimbat prompt subiectul, dar dup\u0103 ce am dep\u0103\u015fit 20, am \u00eentrebat-o: Dar tu realizezi c\u0103 nu mai e\u015fti m\u0103ritat\u0103 cu nemernicul de 20 de ani? Cei 20 de ani de dup\u0103 divor\u0163 ERAU RESPONSABILITATEA TA.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Desigur, criz\u0103 de isterie, tu e\u015fti cel mai ingrat copil, alea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dar obiectiv. Once divorced, ia-o de la zero la modul activ \u015fi implicat \u015fi construie\u015fte-\u0163i fericirea. Pentru l\u0103cr\u0103mo\u015fii profesioni\u015fti \u015fi bocitoarele maicii domnului: fericirea e o stare activ\u0103. As in: lup\u0163i pentru ea \u015fi contribui activ pentru a o sim\u0163i! Da, \u015ftiu c\u0103 am repetat de mai multe ori cuv\u00e2ntul ACTIV. \u00cel mai repet o dat\u0103: pentru a fi fericit, TREBUIE S\u0102 FII ACTIV. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dac\u0103 z\u0103ce\u0163i pe canapea ca ni\u015fte legume \u015fi boci\u0163i legat de tic\u0103lo\u015fi de care v-a\u0163i descotorosit CU SUCCES acum c\u00e2\u0163iva ani, trece via\u0163a pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 voi ca acceleratul prin D\u00e2rste \u015fi voi sunte\u0163i singurii vinova\u0163i. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Prin urmare, divor\u0163eaz\u0103 de ipochimen, mut\u0103-te \u00een alt ora\u015f, if needed, s\u0103 scapi de balast emo\u0163ional, \u015fi bucur\u0103-te de noua \u015fans\u0103 la via\u0163\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Iar dac\u0103 o s\u0103 scrii &#8220;depresiv&#8221; cu un singur s, o s\u0103 ai \u015fi prieteni. By the way, terapie faci pentru depresie sau doar te vaie\u0163i online c\u0103 ai depresie? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sper c\u0103 am fost util\u0103, <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lorena.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Acest site \u00ee\u015fi poate continua activitatea doar cu sus\u0163inerea cititorilor.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.paypal.com\/paypalme\/Trollywood\"><strong>Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14577\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong>&nbsp;\u015fi&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCCHBtHi6S2GlUFqETH70cjQ\">YouTube<\/a><\/strong>&nbsp;\u015fi pe<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@lorena.lupu\">&nbsp;Tiktok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;ca \u00een ultima vreme po\u015fta redac\u0163iei ar putea fi redenumit\u0103 Rubrica de so\u0163i toxici. Sau, ca s\u0103-l parafraz\u0103m pe Mircea C\u0103rt\u0103rescu, &#8220;De ce ur\u00e2m&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18170,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/fight.png?fit=632%2C640&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24814","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24814"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24814\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24816,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24814\/revisions\/24816"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}