{"id":24840,"date":"2023-04-14T09:33:28","date_gmt":"2023-04-14T06:33:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=24840"},"modified":"2025-04-14T16:02:07","modified_gmt":"2025-04-14T13:02:07","slug":"ce-trebuie-sa-stii-daca-adopti-o-pisica","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ce-trebuie-sa-stii-daca-adopti-o-pisica\/","title":{"rendered":"Ce trebuie s\u0103 \u015ftii dac\u0103 adop\u0163i o pisic\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Bun\u0103, eu sunt Lorena \u015fi, dup\u0103 cum ai aflat de circa un milion de ori dac\u0103 cite\u015fti acest blog, am o pisic\u0103. Un motan imens, foarte m\u0103t\u0103sos, foarte afectuos \u015fi periodic extrem de iritant. \u00cenainte s\u0103 m\u0103 adopte aceast\u0103 pisic\u0103 – pentru c\u0103 pisica \u00ee\u015fi alege omul, nu invers – eram printre iubitorii neasuma\u0163i de pisici, care vor o pisic\u0103, dar nu o pot avea, \u00eent\u00e2i din refuz matern, apoi din motivul “abia am bani s\u0103 nu mor eu de foame”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd aceste motive au expirat, practic din acela\u015fi motiv: bani de tr\u0103it pe cont propriu, a ap\u0103rut \u00een via\u0163a mea \u015fi superpisicul \u00eendelung dorit. Dar. \u015ei e un mare dar. Dar din dar se face rai. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu lua pur \u015fi simplu o pisic\u0103 de pe strad\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u0163ii cont de urm\u0103toarele: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A) Pisica e un animal cu idei proprii. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2inele e acolo pentru a fi cel mai bun prieten \u015fi pentru a g\u0103si noi \u015fi noi giumbu\u015flucuri \u00een slujba ta preasmerit\u0103 \u015fi umil\u0103. Pisica NU e \u00een slujba ta. E egalul t\u0103u, care \u00eemparte casa cu tine, c\u0103 sunte\u0163i am\u00e2ndoi mamifere, dar NU a semnat nic\u0103ieri de predare-primire, deci tu NU e\u015fti st\u0103p\u00e2nul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Va face fix ce vrea ea, fix c\u00e2nd vrea ea, iar tu po\u0163i g\u0103si solu\u0163ii \u00een jurul acestui plan de b\u0103taie, dar pisica e \u015fmecher\u0103 \u015fi va g\u0103si solu\u0163ii \u00een jurul solu\u0163iilor tale. De exemplu, pentru ea e vital s\u0103 te trezeasc\u0103 foarte de diminea\u0163\u0103. C\u0103 se plictise\u015fte. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Po\u0163i s\u0103-i la\u015fi bolul plin de m\u00e2ncare. O vreme va merge. Litiera cur\u0103\u0163at\u0103. Idem. S-o obose\u015fti seara cu joac\u0103. Ibidem. Numai c\u0103 m\u00e2\u0163a doarme patru ore \u015fi se treze\u015fte Batman meets Superman, pe c\u00e2nd tu ai muncit toat\u0103 ziua \u015fi e\u015fti rupt; primele patru ore nu se pun. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd e somnul mai dulce, m\u00e2\u0163a ta o s\u0103 scoat\u0103 chitara electric\u0103 \u015fi o s\u0103 bage concert cu coveruri ACDC, pentru c\u0103 a\u015fa o s\u0103 aib\u0103 chef. Apoi, tu o s\u0103 te treze\u015fti \u015fi n-o s\u0103 po\u0163i adormi la loc, c\u0103 e\u015fti prea obosit s\u0103 po\u0163i dormi – da, exist\u0103 fenomenul! – \u015fi ea, s\u0103tul\u0103 de joac\u0103, o s\u0103 se lungeasc\u0103 fix \u00een locul t\u0103u \u015fi o s\u0103 bage somn la fel de hardcore precum concertul cu care te-a trezit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

B. Pisica ta vrea iubire. Dar vrea s-o la\u015fi \u00een mor\u0163ii t\u0103i \u00een pace. Uneori \u00een acela\u015fi timp. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sear\u0103. Tu te ui\u0163i la Netflix, la un film adorabil de groaz\u0103, cu zombies care urm\u0103resc eroul. Deodat\u0103, din spatele t\u0103u, pe sp\u0103tarul canapelei: Miau.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ce\u0163i faci singur manevr\u0103 de resuscitare dup\u0103 infarctul pe care tocmai l-ai suferit. Apoi \u00een\u0163elegi. M\u00e2\u0163a ta vrea \u00een bra\u0163e, cu cuddling \u015fi diverse. OK, o iei \u00een bra\u0163e, toarce. \u00cen exact dou\u0103zeci de secunde, c\u00e2nd pe spinarea personajului se pune o ghear\u0103 scheletic\u0103 de zombie: Miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuu! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As in: Pune-m\u0103 jos, violator nenorocit, sau dau hashtag #metoo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Okok. O pui jos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eroul scap\u0103 ca prin miracol de zombie, fuge mai departe, se ciocne\u015fte de tovar\u0103\u015f, strig\u0103: B\u0103i, Vasile, am belit-o, s\u0103 fugim de aici. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

La care Vasile deschide ochii \u015fi opa, e \u015fi el zombie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Miaaaaaaaau!! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As in: De ce nu m\u0103 iube\u015fti, l\u0103v mi, l\u0103v mi, ia-m\u0103-n bra\u0163e \u015fi str\u00e2nge-m\u0103 u\u015for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015ei tot a\u015fa p\u00e2n\u0103 se termin\u0103 filmul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C) S\u0103 ai mereu nisip de rezerv\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exact \u00een ziua c\u00e2nd \u0163i-e lene \u015fi zici: E ok, are litiera curat\u0103, \u00eei cump\u0103r nisip m\u00e2ine! – o s-o apuce o diaree cu bulbuci \u015fi o s\u0103 te treze\u015fti la 4 diminea\u0163a cu lop\u0103\u0163ica \u00een p\u0103rcule\u0163ul copiilor, s\u0103 aduci nisip, c\u0103 pisica ta zbiar\u0103 c\u0103 n-are unde s\u0103 se desf\u0103\u015foare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

D) \u015ei s\u0103 te obi\u015fnuie\u015fti c\u0103 uneori \u00eei vei extrage chestii dubioase din anus. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Miaaaaaaaau! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ce e? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Miaaaauuu! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0103 uit eu la ea mai atent, din anus \u00eei iese un cap\u0103t de elastic lung, alb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nici nu vreau s\u0103 aflu cum a ajuns \u0103la acolo”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0103 i-l extragi e provocare de “Supravie\u0163uitorul”, pentru c\u0103 pisica o s\u0103 urle, o s\u0103 se zbat\u0103, o s\u0103 vrea s\u0103 te composteze ca pe biletul de autobuz, o s\u0103 dea senza\u0163ia c\u0103 o jupoi de vie, \u015fi la final, c\u00e2nd elasticul iese, o s\u0103 mai \u015fuiere o dat\u0103 la tine \u00een semn de “Nu pui m\u00e2na pe c** meu c\u0103 te sparg” \u015fi o s\u0103 plece cu coada sus. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E) \u015ei bobi\u0163e ag\u0103\u0163ate de perii din zon\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asta dup\u0103 ce \u00een prealabil va \u00eencerca s\u0103 scape de ei frec\u00e2ndu-se de covorul proasp\u0103t sp\u0103lat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bine, fenomenul bobi\u0163elor ag\u0103\u0163ate de perii din zon\u0103 apare doar la diaree, iar cu o hran\u0103 echilibrat\u0103, diareea va fi din ce \u00een ce mai rar\u0103 de la maturitate \u00een sus. C\u00e2nd e puiu\u0163, se va c*ca \u00eempr\u0103\u015ftiat \u015fi pentru c\u0103 a\u015fa a zis Neti Sandu la zodia ei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Totu\u015fi, e bine de \u015ftiut c\u0103 dac\u0103 ai pisic\u0103, o s-o \u015ftergi la c*r \u00een c\u00e2teva r\u00e2nduri, \u015fi o s-o \u015fi speli la c*r cu ap\u0103 cald\u0103 dup\u0103 ce \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u015fte \u015fi nu mai ajunge acolo. \u015ei \u00een timp ce o speli, ai ghicit: “I’m TNT, I’m dynamite, I’m TNT and I’ll win the fight!!!” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

F) O s\u0103 vomite periodic gheme de p\u0103r, \u015fi va face asta chiar dac\u0103 o perii zilnic <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu po\u0163i peria tu c\u00e2nd poate ea s\u0103 ling\u0103 de pe augusta-i f\u0103ptur\u0103, \u015fi excesul se va reg\u0103si pe jos. Inevitabil vei c\u0103lca \u00een el c\u00e2nd te vei duce noaptea la un pipi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

G) Dac\u0103 se \u00eemboln\u0103ve\u015fte, solu\u0163ia e VETERINARUL, nu tanti Nu\u0163i de pe grupul de pisici. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu mai pot cu to\u0163i t\u00e2mpi\u0163ii care intr\u0103 pe grupuri de animale s\u0103 \u00eentrebe ce s\u0103 fac\u0103, c\u0103 uite, pisica horc\u0103ie cu spume verzi la bot. M\u0103 ustur\u0103 degetele grav s\u0103 dau un r\u0103spuns, dar hei, 30 de zile de zucc \u00eenseamn\u0103 trafic \u015fi bani pierdu\u0163i. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oameni buni. Dac\u0103 te \u00eemboln\u0103ve\u015fti, mergi la doctori, NU ceri p\u0103reri online de la oameni pe care nu-i cuno\u015fti \u015fi cu care n-ai \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163i liftul dac\u0103 l-a\u0163i a\u015ftepta \u00eempreun\u0103. Iar dac\u0103 \u0163i se \u00eemboln\u0103ve\u015fte petul, mergi la veterinar. Nu pune\u0163i via\u0163a voastr\u0103 \/ a animalelor \u00een pericol din zg\u00e2rcenie. Banii se fac. Via\u0163a nu \u0163i-o d\u0103 nimeni \u00eenapoi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Acest site \u00ee\u015fi poate continua activitatea doar cu sus\u0163inerea cititorilor. Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe Tiktok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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@sophia09820<\/a>

#everyone<\/a> watch this cute friends <\/p> \u266c original sound – Sophia Angelina<\/a> <\/section> <\/blockquote>