\u00ce\u021bi scriu \u00eentruc\u00e2t a\u0219 avea nevoie de opinia ta pentru urm\u0103toarea situa\u021bie.<\/strong> Cu drag,<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n *** <\/p>\n\n\n\n Drag\u0103 X., <\/p>\n\n\n\n S\u0103 \u00eencepem cu \u00eenceputul, care e cel mai important: NU ai de ce s\u0103 te sim\u021bi vinovat\u0103. \u00cen fond, tu nu min\u021bi. Chiar munce\u0219ti sincer \u0219i pe bune, de diminea\u021ba p\u00e2n\u0103 seara, faci tot ce po\u021bi s\u0103 fii \u0219i mam\u0103, \u0219i so\u021bie, \u0219i om al muncii, \u0219i gospodin\u0103, \u0219i de toate. Primul an de dup\u0103 na\u0219terea unui copil e un efort cumplit pentru p\u0103rin\u021bi, iar asta e o informa\u021bie pe care cercul t\u0103u de prieteni ar putea s-o afle, dac\u0103 s-ar deranja s\u0103 se documenteze. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cen al doilea r\u00e2nd, po\u021bi s\u0103 nu alegi indiferen\u021ba. Po\u021bi alege s\u0103 comunici. Faci o \u00eent\u00e2lnire cu to\u021bi pe Zoom \u00eentr-o vineri seara. \u0218i le spui c\u0103 \u00een seara asta l\u0103muri\u021bi problema. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Le poveste\u0219ti sincer c\u00e2t\u0103 munc\u0103 presupune un copil \u00een primul lui an de via\u021b\u0103, c\u00e2t tragi de tine, \u0219i tot ce mi-ai povestit mie \u00een mail. Le spui c\u0103 pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 asta, te str\u0103duie\u0219ti s\u0103 \u021bii leg\u0103tura c\u00e2nd \u0219i cum \u00ee\u021bi permite timpul, \u0219i observi c\u0103, totu\u0219i, exist\u0103 repro\u0219uri. Le poveste\u0219ti c\u0103 aceste repro\u0219uri sunt jignitoare \u0219i lipsite de empatie, \u0219i c\u0103 ai avea nevoie de \u00een\u021belegere. \u0218i \u00eenchei: nu e o noutate c\u0103 primul an din via\u021ba unui bebelu\u0219 e munc\u0103 24 \/ 7 \/ 365. Pute\u021bi \u00eentreba orice mam\u0103 \u0219i orice medic pediatru. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Acum, stima\u021bi prieteni, am o \u00eentrebare. Pentru c\u0103 eu nu am nervi \u0219i r\u0103bdare de \u00eenvinuiri, atunci c\u00e2nd eu simt c\u0103 ofer tot ce se poate oferi \u00een contextul dat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sunte\u021bi dispu\u0219i s\u0103 \u00een\u021belege\u021bi situa\u021bia? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 da, prietenia poate continua. Dac\u0103 nu, putem rupe rela\u021bia \u0219i asta e. <\/p>\n\n\n\n E important s\u0103 aduni tot grupul, s\u0103 nu te repe\u021bi de dou\u0103 ori, ca popa pentru baba surd\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218i dac\u0103 e\u0219ti pe Zoom, le po\u021bi ar\u0103ta copilul, scutecele, diverse chestii, cu detalii specifice. C\u0103 poate \u00een\u021beleg. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 nici a\u0219a nu \u00een\u021beleg, po\u021bi s\u0103 te ier\u021bi. Tu ai f\u0103cut tot ce se putea omene\u0219te face. \u00cenc\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2narea, imaturitatea, lipsa de empatie, \u00eenc\u0103lcarea de boundaries nu e la tine, ci la ei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n E ok s\u0103 le spui adio prietenilor care refuz\u0103 s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 c\u0103 treci prin momente grele. Prietenia \u00eenseamn\u0103 \u00een primul r\u00e2nd \u00een\u021belegere. Abilitatea de a te pune \u00een locul celuilalt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Poate c\u0103 unii dintre ei nu \u00ee\u021bi sunt cu adev\u0103rat prieteni, \u0219i e ok. O s\u0103 apar\u0103 al\u021bii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar, ca regul\u0103 general\u0103, alege \u00eentotdeauna s\u0103 ai o discu\u021bie clarificatoare \u00eenainte s\u0103 spui ia hai mar\u0219 de-aici. Unii oameni sunt orbi\u021bi de proiec\u021biile lor \u0219i nu te vor auzi, dar exist\u0103 cei pe care explica\u021biile \u00eei lumineaz\u0103. Nu fii Lorena cea de 20 de ani care alegea ghostingul din la\u0219itate. Fii Lorena de dup\u0103 30, care alege s\u0103 poarte discu\u021bia, s\u0103 ofere argumente, s\u0103 vad\u0103 dac\u0103 ne putem \u00een\u021belege omene\u0219te \u0219i se deta\u0219eaz\u0103 c\u00e2nd vede c\u0103 nu. Acord\u0103-le oamenilor \u0103lora \u0219ansa unei discu\u021bii oneste. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sper c\u0103 \u021bi-am fost util\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Lorena. <\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i plac sfaturile obiective \u0219i bine inten\u021bionate, sus\u0163ine site-ul \u00een singurul mod care conteaz\u0103. Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17825,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/mailbox2.jpg?fit=960%2C606&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25307"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25309,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25307\/revisions\/25309"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17825"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Eu tr\u0103iesc \u00een afar\u0103 de aproape 4 ani, carier\u0103 clasic\u0103 9-5, de cur\u00e2nd am \u0219i un nou-n\u0103scut, so\u021b \u00een\u021beleg\u0103tor. \u00cencerc s\u0103 \u021bin leg\u0103tura cu un cerc str\u00e2ns de prieteni apropia\u021bi din Rom\u00e2nia.<\/strong>
Problema e c\u0103 de cur\u00e2nd au \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi cam repro\u0219eze c\u0103 nu mai r\u0103spund la fel de repede \u0219i des la telefon, c\u0103 ei nu \u0219tiu cum o s\u0103 mai \u021binem prietenia vie, c\u0103 las prea mult timp \u00eentre r\u0103spunsuri.
Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 faptul c\u0103 sunt full all day de task-uri legate de copil, cas\u0103 \u0219i administrarea cotidianului, \u00eemi fac totu\u0219i timp s\u0103 le scriu mesaje, chiar s\u0103 ne auzim la telefon (din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd), trimis link-uri, meme-uri, s\u0103 ne vedem atunci c\u00e2nd vin \u00een \u021bar\u0103. Prietenii mei nu au \u00eenc\u0103 vreun copil; este work in progress pentru majoritatea. \u00cen plus, au familii aproape care \u00eei ajut\u0103 cu cur\u0103\u021benia prin cas\u0103 \u0219i trimis de m\u00e2ncare.
Simt c\u0103 am foarte pu\u021bin\u0103 spre deloc empatie din partea lor \ud83d\ude41 Uneori chiar presiune c\u0103 nu depun suficient efort (efort care ar veni cu pre\u021bul sacrific\u0103rii unei ore de somn, care \u0219i a\u0219a este rar\u0103). Prin urmare, m\u0103 simt super vinovat\u0103 de fiecare dat\u0103 \u0219i simt c\u0103 o sa pierd si ultima r\u0103m\u0103\u0219i\u021ba de contact social r\u0103mas\u0103.<\/strong>
Ai vreo idee cum a\u0219 putea trece mai cu indiferen\u021b\u0103 peste aceast\u0103 presiune?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
X<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n