{"id":25544,"date":"2023-11-05T13:20:19","date_gmt":"2023-11-05T10:20:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=25544"},"modified":"2023-11-05T13:20:22","modified_gmt":"2023-11-05T10:20:22","slug":"de-ce-sa-nu-stai-cu-parintii-la-maturitate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/de-ce-sa-nu-stai-cu-parintii-la-maturitate\/","title":{"rendered":"De ce s\u0103 nu stai cu p\u0103rin\u021bii la maturitate"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei<\/a> <\/strong>de ieri m-a pus serios pe g\u00e2nduri. O femeie \u00een toat\u0103 firea, cu maturitatea emo\u021bional\u0103 a unei pu\u0219toaice de 14 ani, neput\u00e2ndu-se elibera din capcana urii fa\u021b\u0103 de o alt\u0103 tip\u0103, de\u0219i acea alt\u0103 tip\u0103 e out of her life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

De asemenea, o tip\u0103 care a apelat la po\u0219ta redac\u021biei de mai multe ori, pe diverse subiecte, dar niciodat\u0103, \u0219i vreau s\u0103 zic niciodat\u0103, ever, \u00een vie\u021bi\u0219oara ei, nu a considerat c\u0103 ar fi cazul s\u0103 sus\u021bin\u0103 rubrica cu m\u0103car un euro sau ceva. Las\u0103 s\u0103 doneze al\u021bii. Mie mi se cuvine timp, aten\u021bie \u0219i infinit\u0103 r\u0103bdare. F\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 ofer niciodat\u0103 nimic <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar nu e singura cu acest mindset. E o atitudine comun\u0103 printre cei care \u00eenc\u0103 locuiesc cu p\u0103rin\u021bii la 30 de ani. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hai s\u0103 vorbim despre asta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Locuitul cu p\u0103rin\u021bii e un trend. Copilul termin\u0103 \u0219coala, dar chiriile sunt scumpe, las\u0103 s\u0103 se bucure \u0219i el de bani, dragul de el \/ ea, stai cu mami \u0219i tati. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sigur, nici o problem\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

OK, aproape nici o problem\u0103. Except\u00e2nd faptul c\u0103, acum, adultul nostru e condamnat s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 de 14 ani toat\u0103 via\u021ba. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 stai cu p\u0103rin\u021bii, ei pl\u0103tesc tot, deci tu nu contribui cu nimic<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mi\u0219to s\u0103 nu te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti niciodat\u0103 la facturi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sigur c\u0103 da, dar de aici provin oamenii care nu simt c\u0103 e cazul s\u0103 dea nimic niciodat\u0103. C\u0103 e treaba lu’ tati \u0219i a lui mami. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u021ain minte \u0219i acum prima mea chirie, \u00een timpul facult\u0103\u021bii. Cum colega de apartament a trebuit s\u0103-mi explice c\u0103 lunar vin \u00eentre\u021binerea \u0219i lumina, iar acestea trebuie pl\u0103tite. Practic, dai ni\u0219te bani pentru curent, apa rece \u0219i cald\u0103 \u0219i alte nevoi de zi cu zi pe care cineva \u021bi le asigur\u0103. Nu, nu \u021bi se cuvin de la sine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cemi amintesc c\u0103 revela\u021bia asta a fost uria\u0219\u0103 pentru Lorena cea de 20 de ani, dar totodat\u0103 m-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat ceva important. \u0218i anume: Trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi pl\u0103te\u0219ti partea. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu po\u021bi doar s\u0103 ceri la infinit \u0219i s\u0103 nu dai niciodat\u0103 nimic, a\u0219a cum sugereaz\u0103 locuitul cu p\u0103rin\u021bii, inclusiv la v\u00e2rste adulte. Copiii nu trebuie s\u0103 contribuie, pentru c\u0103 nu au ce. Adul\u021bii, da. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rar g\u0103se\u0219ti fiin\u021be mai c\u00e2\u0219tig\u0103toare la belciuge ca persoanele care stau \u00een continuare cu p\u0103rin\u021bii la 30+ ani. Sentimentul lor c\u0103 to\u021bi cei din jur ar trebui s\u0103 fac\u0103 lucruri pentru ei, iar ei nu trebuie s\u0103 fac\u0103 nimic pentru nimeni. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen momentul \u00een care \u00een\u021belegi c\u0103 nimic nu \u021bi se cuvine by default \u0219i c\u0103 totul se pl\u0103te\u0219te, e primul t\u0103u pas spre maturizare. \u0218i asta pentru c\u0103… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 stai cu p\u0103rin\u021bii, nu \u00eenve\u021bi niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 gestionezi un buget <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Principala provocare a locuitului de unul singur e reprezentat\u0103 de maturitatea cu care \u00ee\u021bi gospod\u0103re\u0219ti salariul, s\u0103 acopere toate facturile \u0219i s\u0103 ajung\u0103 de m\u00e2ncare, \u00eembr\u0103c\u0103minte \u0219i alte nevoi. Adic\u0103, s\u0103 fii o persoan\u0103 matur\u0103, responsabil\u0103 \u0219i con\u0219tient\u0103 de consecin\u021bele propriilor decizii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu spargi tot salariul pe bijuterii, pentru c\u0103, dup\u0103 aceea, mori de foame toat\u0103 luna \u0219i r\u0103m\u00e2i restant la \u00eentre\u021binere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd stai cu p\u0103rin\u021bii, nu \u00eenve\u021bi niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 te autogestionezi \u0219i vei fi o povar\u0103 pe capul oric\u0103rui alt adult care are de a face cu tine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 stai cu p\u0103rin\u021bii, munca domestic\u0103 (a altora) se sub\u00een\u021belege<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u0219a cum gigeii tradi\u021bionali\u0219ti nu consider\u0103 niciodat\u0103 c\u0103 efortul nevestei care a f\u0103cut curat \u00een toat\u0103 casa e munc\u0103, nici \u0103ia care stau la mami \u0219i tati nu se mir\u0103 cum \u00een camera lor apare magic ordine \u0219i cum cutiile de bere de pe jos au prins picioare. Au tr\u0103it de dintotdeauna a\u0219a \u0219i sunt ferm convin\u0219i c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 existe mereu o prezen\u021b\u0103 celest\u0103 (sau, m\u0103 rog, teluric\u0103), care s\u0103 str\u00e2ng\u0103 dup\u0103 ei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adultul care st\u0103 cu p\u0103rin\u021bii se remarc\u0103 \u00een orice grup profesional. E mereu colegul \u0103la de la job care las\u0103 masa vrai\u0219te \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103ria firmei dup\u0103 ce a m\u00e2ncat. Din cauza lui a ap\u0103rut mema \u201eMama ta nu lucreaz\u0103 aici, str\u00e2nge dup\u0103 tine\u201d. Sau \u0103la care las\u0103 zoaie dup\u0103 el la cantin\u0103, chit c\u0103 e co\u0219 de gunoi dedicat arunc\u0103rii resturilor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Via\u021ba de unul singur te \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 faptul c\u0103, dac\u0103 la\u0219i un kkt \u00een mijlocul \u00eenc\u0103perii, o s\u0103-\u021bi put\u0103 sub nas a doua zi. \u0218i e o lec\u021bie extrem de util\u0103 \u0219i de valoroas\u0103. Da, via\u021ba devine mai dificil\u0103, dar \u0219ti\u021bi care e latura pozitiv\u0103 a dificult\u0103\u021bii? Te fortific\u0103 pe interior \u0219i te maturizeaz\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 stai cu p\u0103rin\u021bii, nu apuci s\u0103 te maturizezi emo\u021bional. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0103rin\u021bii \u021bi-au schimbat pamper\u0219ii \u0219i te-au sp\u0103lat la fund. \u00cen mintea lor, r\u0103m\u00e2i \u00eentotdeauna \u0103la mic care or\u0103c\u0103ia \u00een c\u0103rucior \u0219i vor continua s\u0103 \u021bi se adreseze \u0219i s\u0103 te trateze ca pe o fiin\u021b\u0103 dr\u0103g\u0103la\u0219\u0103, dar care e total inapt\u0103 de decizii personale \u0219i c\u0103reia \u00eei hot\u0103r\u0103sc ei binele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i c\u00e2t timp e\u0219ti \u00een casa lor \u0219i le m\u0103n\u00e2nci m\u00e2ncarea, nu ai ce face \u00een privin\u021ba asta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 ei nu te v\u0103d \u0219i nu te trateaz\u0103 ca pe un adult, tu nu te vei vedea \u0219i nu te vei trata pe tine niciodat\u0103 ca pe un adult. Vei r\u0103m\u00e2ne eternul copil pe care trebuie s\u0103-l \u021bin\u0103 cineva perpetuu de m\u00e2nu\u021b\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la oli\u021b\u0103, s\u0103 fac\u0103 c\u0103cu\u021b\u0103 frumos. \u0218i, bine\u00een\u021beles… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tu nu e\u0219ti \u00een stare niciodat\u0103 de nimic, \u0219i mereu altul trebuie s\u0103 fac\u0103 lucruri pentru tine<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mami, ce avem la cin\u0103? Mami, mi-ai sp\u0103lat tricoul \u0103la verde? Mami, mi-ai f\u0103cut ardei umplu\u021bi? Mami, s\u0103 duci c\u00e2inele la plimbare. Mami, unde mi-s c\u0103r\u021bile? Mami, mi-am uitat lista de cump\u0103r\u0103turi acas\u0103, po\u021bi s\u0103 mi-o dictezi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apoi, \u0103la care st\u0103 cu p\u0103rin\u021bii se mut\u0103 cu tine \u0219i face din tine mami. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Locuitul singur te deprinde s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi procuri cina, s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi speli tricourile, s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021bi s\u0103 faci sau s\u0103 cumperi ardei umplu\u021bi \u0219i S\u0102-\u021aI REZOLVI SINGUR PROBLEMELE, nu s\u0103-i faci program perpetuu altui adult care nu e asistentul t\u0103u personal salariat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apoi… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 stai cu p\u0103rin\u021bii, vei avea tantrumuri de copil \u00een continuare. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen momentul \u0103sta, eu nu a\u0219 putea p\u0103stra genul \u0103la de ranchiun\u0103 interminabil\u0103 pe nimeni, oric\u00e2te mizerii mi-a f\u0103cut. Pentru c\u0103 am treab\u0103 \u0219i am energie de investit \u00een munci care dau roade. Am rela\u021bii bune cu o sumedenie de oameni \u0219i prefer s\u0103 \u00eemi rezerv energia pentru ele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Genul \u0103sta de blocaj \u00een rahaturi care au trecut \u0219i care nu mai constituie \u00een prezent o problem\u0103 e caracteristica celor ce nu au de gestionat probleme prezente \u0219i au timp s\u0103-\u0219i fac\u0103 filme interminabile despre cineva care, \u00eentre timp, i-a l\u0103sat \u00een pace de mult. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u0219a era \u0219i maic\u0103-mea. 30 de ani dup\u0103 divor\u021b, \u0219i \u00eenc\u0103 se smiorc\u0103ie c\u0103 taic\u0103-miu n-a f\u0103cut \u0219i n-a dres. Chit c\u0103 taic\u0103-miu n-a deranjat-o cu nimic dup\u0103 divor\u021b, deci a avut 30 de ani la dispozi\u021bie s\u0103 fac\u0103 ce vrea cu via\u021ba ei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar \u0219i maic\u0103-mea a locuit cu p\u0103rin\u021bii toat\u0103 via\u021ba. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chiar dac\u0103 vi se pare greu, muta\u021bi-v\u0103 singuri \u0219i \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba\u021bi s\u0103 v\u0103 raporta\u021bi la via\u021b\u0103 ca ni\u0219te adul\u021bi. Ve\u021bi fi mult mai st\u0103p\u00e2ni pe voi \u00een\u0219iv\u0103 \u0219i mai pu\u021bin obositori pentru oricine are interac\u021biune cu voi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 apreciezi aceast\u0103 rubric\u0103, po\u021bi sus\u021bine la r\u00e2ndul t\u0103u site-ul \u00een singurul mod care conteaz\u0103. Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei de ieri m-a pus serios pe g\u00e2nduri. O femeie \u00een toat\u0103 firea, cu maturitatea emo\u021bional\u0103 a unei pu\u0219toaice de 14 ani, neput\u00e2ndu-se...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19459,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25544","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/parent.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25544"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25544\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25547,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25544\/revisions\/25547"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19459"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}