{"id":25962,"date":"2024-01-17T10:33:46","date_gmt":"2024-01-17T07:33:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=25962"},"modified":"2024-01-17T10:33:48","modified_gmt":"2024-01-17T07:33:48","slug":"ce-ne-facem-cu-fetele-rele","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ce-ne-facem-cu-fetele-rele\/","title":{"rendered":"Ce ne facem cu fetele rele?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Citeam pe peretele unei amice de Facebook c\u0103 are un b\u0103ie\u0163el cuminte \u015fi bun. Un suflet bl\u00e2nd \u015fi cald, lipsit de orice urm\u0103 de agresivitate. \u00cen schimb, are \u00een clas\u0103 o ga\u015fc\u0103 de fete care \u00eel streseaz\u0103 mereu, \u00eel jignesc, \u00eel trag de p\u0103r, \u00eel \u00eenghesuie pe la col\u0163uri \u015fi, pentru c\u0103 z\u0103pada de alalt\u0103ieri s-a depus \u00een zona lor, l-au \u015fi sp\u0103lat cu z\u0103pad\u0103, cam cum eram agresate noi, c\u00e2nd eram feti\u0163e. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015ei adul\u0163ii mai aveau \u015fi tupeul s\u0103 afirme c\u0103 \u0103ia te plac, de aceea se comport\u0103 a\u015fa. De mic copil mi-a insultat inteligen\u0163a ideea c\u0103 cineva \u00ee\u0163i face mizerii pentru c\u0103 te place. Acel cineva \u00ee\u0163i face mizerii pentru c\u0103 are tendin\u0163e sadice \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i cite\u015fte vulnerabilitatea. Are zero leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu simpatia personal\u0103 \u015fi mai mult cu nevoia de a deriva satisfac\u0163ie din durerea \/ disconfortul altuia \u015fi de a-l subjuga prin brutalitate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015ei \u00een sec\u0163iunea de comentarii a acestei mame, unii o \u0163ineau sus \u015fi tare c\u0103 feti\u0163ele respective \u00eel plac pe b\u0103ie\u021bel. Nooope. C\u00e2nd o feti\u0163\u0103 te place, e cea mai dulce, adorabil\u0103 \u015fi simpatic\u0103. Din nou, \u00eemi vine s\u0103 \u00eenjur liber pe oricine justific\u0103 un abuz cu \u201ede fapt, te place\u201d. Al\u021bii ziceau c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 \u00eencerce cu vorba bun\u0103. Din nou, nooope. Dac\u0103 vorba bun\u0103 func\u021biona, nu se ajungea la bullying. S\u0103 \u00eencerci vorba bun\u0103 cu o ga\u0219c\u0103 de bullies din ipostaza de victim\u0103 e ca \u0219i cum ai fi \u00eencercat vorba bun\u0103 cu o ga\u0219c\u0103 de wights, \u00een Game of Thrones. Al\u021bii ziceau c\u0103 e cazul s\u0103 se \u201eimpun\u0103 ca b\u0103rbat\u201d \u0219i s\u0103 se ia la b\u0103taie cu ele. Din nou, nooope. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E o chestie pe care o explic mereu \u0219i copiilor de pe TikTok, care m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 des ce s\u0103 fac\u0103 \u00een cazuri de bullying. \u0218i anume: \u0219coala \u0219i jobul sunt INSTITU\u021aII PUBLICE. Adic\u0103, exist\u0103 ni\u0219te cadre didactice, \u00een primul caz, \u0219i manageri, \u00een al doilea, care au responsabilitatea s\u0103 gestioneze problemele interumane. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ca b\u0103iat, e o idee extrem de proast\u0103 s\u0103 ba\u021bi feti\u021be. Dac\u0103 sunt suficient de malefice s\u0103 te h\u0103r\u021buiasc\u0103, sunt suficient de malefice s\u0103 te scoat\u0103 tot pe tine vinovat. Pe sistem Amber Heard: Oricum, nu te va crede nimeni c\u0103 te b\u0103team. E foarte u\u0219or, dac\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi iei dreptatea \u00een propriile m\u00e2ini, s\u0103 pici tu de vinovat, la final. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cel mai simplu, mai ales c\u0103 nu e\u0219ti la tine pe tarla, ci \u00eentr-o institu\u021bie bazat\u0103 pe un regulament intern de conduit\u0103, este s\u0103 faci o pl\u00e2ngere la dirigint\u0103 \/ departamentul de resurse umane. \u0218i te bazezi pe ei s\u0103 rezolve problema mai departe. Dac\u0103 n-o rezolv\u0103, se duce p\u0103rintele la direc\u021biune, cere \u00eent\u00e2lnire cu p\u0103rin\u021bii celorlal\u021bi copii, eventual cu odraslele iubite de fa\u021b\u0103, \u0219i o astfel de discu\u021bie cu adul\u021bi va mai potoli agresivitatea bully-ilor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eP\u0103i, da, dar nu e masculin.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cenc\u0103 o dat\u0103, nu te duci la \u0219coal\u0103 sau la job s\u0103 fii masculin, ci s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021bi \/ \u00ee\u021bi iei diploma sau s\u0103 munce\u0219ti \/ \u00ee\u021bi iei salariul. Masculinitatea prost \u00een\u021beleas\u0103 sau prost plasat\u0103 se poate termina nasol pentru tine, cu not\u0103 la purtare sc\u0103zut\u0103, cu raport disciplinar sau cu exmatriculare \/ concediere. Nu c\u0103uta s\u0103 faci pe viteazul \u00een contexte care nu sunt despre vitejie. Apeleaz\u0103 la resursele disponibile \u00een interiorul sistemului. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i mai e un detaliu fin. B\u0103rba\u021bii pro\u0219ti \u0219i javre care te h\u0103r\u021buiesc sunt totu\u0219i intimidabili printr-un festival de #bagpl\u00eenmor\u021biim\u0103tii (scris a\u0219a, s\u0103 nu m\u0103 demonetizeze gug\u0103l). Ajung s\u0103 te urasc\u0103, s\u0103 te vorbeasc\u0103 pe la spate, s\u0103 diverse, dar nu-\u0219i mai permit s\u0103 te deranjeze. Le impui respect. Done that a zillion times. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Femeile proaste \u0219i javre care te h\u0103r\u021buiesc se alimenteaz\u0103 din circ \u0219i scandal. Nu doar c\u0103 nu le sperii cu mor\u021bii de mam\u0103, ci mai mult le bucuri, c\u0103 le oferi trambulin\u0103 pentru spirala psihozei dezl\u0103n\u021buite. De aceea, e o idee extrem de proast\u0103 s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi bagi p*** \u00een ele. \u0218i la propriu, \u0219i la figurat. Singura solu\u021bie online e blockul, iar solu\u021bia offline e s\u0103 le evi\u021bi, s\u0103 scurtezi interac\u021biunea la strict necesar \u0219i s\u0103 apelezi cu \u00eencredere la resurse umane \/ diriginte \/ orice ter\u021b\u0103 parte de care se tem \u0219i care le-a impus deja respect. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deci, ce ne facem cu feti\u021bele rele? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poate p\u0103rea derizoriu s\u0103 te duci ca mam\u0103 s\u0103 te pl\u00e2ngi dirigintei \/ directorului c\u0103 fiul t\u0103u e abuzat, dar dac\u0103 \u021bi se r\u00e2de \u00een fa\u021b\u0103, pui \u00eentrebarea simpl\u0103: \u201eDac\u0103 \u0219i-ar lua dreptatea \u00een propriile m\u00e2ini \u0219i le-ar bate, l-a\u021bi exmatricula, nu-i a\u0219a?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 apreciezi acest articol, po\u021bi sus\u021bine la r\u00e2ndul t\u0103u site-ul \u00een singurul mod care conteaz\u0103.\u00a0Aici<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Citeam pe peretele unei amice de Facebook c\u0103 are un b\u0103ie\u0163el cuminte \u015fi bun. Un suflet bl\u00e2nd \u015fi cald, lipsit de orice urm\u0103 de...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18634,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/angryemo.jpg?fit=1203%2C834&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25962","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25962"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25962\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25963,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25962\/revisions\/25963"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18634"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}