{"id":26180,"date":"2024-03-11T16:14:10","date_gmt":"2024-03-11T13:14:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=26180"},"modified":"2024-03-11T16:14:18","modified_gmt":"2024-03-11T13:14:18","slug":"premiile-ce-a-fost-in-mintea-lor-oscar-2024","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/premiile-ce-a-fost-in-mintea-lor-oscar-2024\/","title":{"rendered":"Premiile \u201eCe-a fost \u00een mintea lor\u201d, Oscar 2024"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ieri, pe 10 martie, a fost edi\u021bia a 96-a a premiilor Academiei Americane de Film, cunoscut\u0103 popular sub alintul \u201eOscaruri\u201d. Nu neg c\u0103, v\u0103z\u00e2nd c\u00e2te premii a \u00eenh\u0103\u021bat Oppenheimer, mi-a venit s\u0103 ies la protest \u00een Pia\u021ba Victoriei, cu pancarta #rezist. Dar nu voi intra acum \u00een acest subiect, pentru c\u0103 a sosit momentul seriei noastre preferate. Seria \u00een care lu\u0103m cele mai tr\u0103snite \u021binute de la o gal\u0103 de premii, \u0219i \u00eencerc\u0103m s\u0103 reconstituim ce s-a putut omene\u0219te \u00eent\u00e2mpla, s\u0103 se ajung\u0103 acolo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Premiul \u201ePl\u0103pumioara \u0218turlubatic\u0103\u201d – Ariana Grande <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

-Domnule fe\u0219\u0103ndizain\u0103r, am nevoie s\u0103-mi face\u021bi o rochie sentimental\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Toate rochiile mele sunt proiecte ale pasiunii, doamna Grande. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Nu, m\u0103 refer sentimental\u0103 pentru mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Oooook. \u0218i ce anume e sentimental pentru dvs.? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Noaptea nun\u021bii, domnule fe\u0219\u0103ndizain\u0103r. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Ooook, un pic prea mult\u0103 informa\u021bie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Am f\u0103cut dragoste interminabil\u0103 cu iubitul meu \u00een a\u0219ternuturile pe care le alesesem s\u0103 fie roz, ca vibe-ul primului nostru s\u0103rut. Cel pu\u021bin cinci numere. Modul \u00een care m-a ridicat \u00een aapogeul orgasmului… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Ooooook, un pic cam mult prea mult\u0103 informa\u021bie. Ce dori\u021bi, doamna Grande? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Am adus a\u0219ternuturile. Cear\u0219aful \u0219i plapuma, c\u0103 pernele le-au ocupat pisicile. Crede\u021bi c\u0103 pute\u021bi s\u0103-mi face\u021bi o rochie sentimental\u0103? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Premiul \u201eNu am, dar m\u0103 descurc\u201d – Julianne Hough <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

-Mamiiii, am o problem\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat, fata mea? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Mi-am v\u0103rsat ketchup pe rochia de gal\u0103 \u0219i taxiul e aici \u00een trei minute. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218i nu ai cu ce altceva s\u0103 te \u00eembraci? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-M\u0103 \u0219tii doar. Sunt femeie, nu am niciodat\u0103 cu ce s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eembrac. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u00cen regul\u0103, hai s\u0103 ne g\u00e2ndim. Pune pe tine maieul \u0103sta colorat de pe Temu, c\u0103 e foarte \u0219ic \u0219i fe\u0219\u0103n, nu se prinde nimeni c\u0103 e un plastic de doi bani, care at\u00e2t a \u0219i costat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Daaaaaaa. \u0218i lu\u0103m cear\u0219aful de pe pat, \u00eel prindem cu ni\u0219te ace de siguran\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 nu cumva s\u0103 cad\u0103, \u0219i gata \u021binuta. Mul\u021bumesc, mami. E\u0219ti regina modei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218i tu, copila mea. Sigur r\u0103m\u00e2n to\u021bi cu gurile c\u0103scate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Premiul Gravita\u021bia \u00eenvinge – Molly Sims <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"This<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

-Domni\u0219oar\u0103, vrem s\u0103 v\u0103 angaj\u0103m ca ambasador de brand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Cine sunte\u021bi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Clinica de chirurgie plastic\u0103 \u0219i estetic\u0103 \u021a\u00e2\u021b\u0103 de m\u00e2\u021b\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Aha. Dar eu nu am implanturi mamare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Crede\u021bi-ne, \u0219tim. A\u021bi m\u0103turat \u0219i la noi \u00een curte f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 v\u0103 da\u021bi seama. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218i atunci, de ce s\u0103 fiu eu ambasadorul dvs. de brand? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Pe psihologie invers\u0103. Tot ce ave\u021bi de f\u0103cut e s\u0103 umbla\u021bi cu un decolteu generos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-C\u00e2t de generos?? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Suficient de generos \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 creeze awareness \u00een popula\u021bie legat de pericolul atrac\u021biei gravita\u021bionale. O s\u0103 \u00eencadr\u0103m peisajul dezolant cu o sfoar\u0103 gri, s\u0103 subliniem tragismul situa\u021biei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Premiul Prea bun, prea de la \u021bar\u0103 – Melissa McCarthy <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

-Iar nu mi-a trimis nici un designer rochie, din discriminare corporal\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Da, tovar\u0103\u0219a mea, e revolt\u0103tor \u0219i strig\u0103tor la cer. Dar noi, partidul comunist, te sus\u021binem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Eu nu de sus\u021binere am nevoie, ci de o rochie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Da, tovar\u0103\u0219\u0103, am \u00een\u021beles. Adun\u0103m toate steagurile ro\u0219ii din unitate, le coasem \u00eempreun\u0103, \u0219i o s\u0103 ias\u0103 un sac suficient de mare, \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 \u00eencapi \u0219i tu \u00een el. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218i cum ne asigur\u0103m c\u0103 se muleaz\u0103 pe siluet\u0103? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Tovar\u0103\u0219\u0103, noi, partidul, credem \u00een dezvoltare multilateral\u0103. Le \u00eenf\u0103\u0219ur\u0103m \u00een jurul frigiderului \u0219i aplic\u0103m un fermoar \u00een spate. \u0218i g\u0103sim noi ceva prelat\u0103 veche \u0219i \u0219ifonat\u0103, s\u0103 facem pelerin\u0103 cu ea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Premiul \u201eDu\u0219manii-mi poart\u0103 pic\u0103, c\u0103ci n-au valoarea mea\u201d – Laura Karpman <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

-\u0218tii care e fantezia mea secret\u0103? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Care? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-S\u0103 fiu gangster manelar pimp feroce din anii 2000, c\u00e2nd violul \u00eenc\u0103 era legal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Ahaaaa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Vreau s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 Dana Budeanu gravid\u0103 \u00een ambele g\u0103uri deodat\u0103, doar dintr-o privire la mafio\u021benia \u0219i la opulen\u021ba mea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Ooook. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Straight Outta Ciorog\u00e2rla. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Am notat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218i pentru contrast creativ, vreau po\u0219eta brodat\u0103 cu care a fost bunic\u0103-mea na\u0219\u0103-mare. S\u0103 ar\u0103t c\u0103 gigiduru nostru are \u0219i latur\u0103 sensibil\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Bun. C\u00e2nd s\u0103 fie gata? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 apreciezi acest articol, po\u021bi sus\u021bine la r\u00e2ndul t\u0103u site-ul \u00een singurul mod care conteaz\u0103. Aici<\/strong><\/a>. Pentru dona\u021bii de 50 de euro sau mai mult, \u00eemi po\u021bi propune tu un subiect. Pentru dona\u021bii de 25 de euro sau mai mult, po\u021bi propune o poezie pentru cele 365 de zile de poezie.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ieri, pe 10 martie, a fost edi\u021bia a 96-a a premiilor Academiei Americane de Film, cunoscut\u0103 popular sub alintul \u201eOscaruri\u201d. Nu neg c\u0103, v\u0103z\u00e2nd...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":26181,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/ariana-grande-.jpg?fit=745%2C487&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26180"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26180\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26188,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26180\/revisions\/26188"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}