{"id":26229,"date":"2024-03-20T12:26:49","date_gmt":"2024-03-20T09:26:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=26229"},"modified":"2024-03-20T12:26:51","modified_gmt":"2024-03-20T09:26:51","slug":"ce-localitate-din-romania-ti-se-potriveste-in-functie-de-zodie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ce-localitate-din-romania-ti-se-potriveste-in-functie-de-zodie\/","title":{"rendered":"Ce localitate din Rom\u00e2nia \u021bi se potrive\u0219te, \u00een func\u021bie de zodie"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Am scris horoscopul pentru toate revistele \u0219i ziarele la care am lucrat. Pentru c\u0103 cineva trebuia s-o fac\u0103 \u0219i pe asta, iar eu am fost toat\u0103 via\u021ba mea cineva. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00cenainte s\u0103 sar\u0103 de fese \u00een sus diver\u0219i antihaz; aceasta e o glum\u0103. \u0218tiu, ora\u0219ul t\u0103u natal e locul \u00een care s-a atestat documentar prima \u00eenfigere a lalelei \u00een br\u00e2nz\u0103. Dar dac\u0103 nu \u0219tii s\u0103 r\u00e2zi de o glum\u0103, zbori. Sau, cum am avut o interac\u021biune cu un idiot acum c\u00e2teva zile:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0102la: *spume la bot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eu: Mar\u0219, m\u0103, \u0219i ragi la familia ta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0102la: \u00cendr\u0103zne\u0219ti s\u0103 zici ceva de familia mea??? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eu: Ce s\u0103 mai zic \u0219i eu, c\u00e2nd s\u0103racii p\u0103timesc destul c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 te suporte pe tine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A\u0219adar: Ce localitate din Rom\u00e2nia \u021bi se potrive\u0219te \u00een func\u021bie de zodie? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Berbecul &#8211; Gala\u021bi <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Istorie veche de mafio\u021bi, care mai de care mai periculo\u0219i? Check. Accent pe \u0219mecherie \u0219i pe tupeu? Check. Ora\u0219ul care a transformat-o \u00een legend\u0103 pe Mariana C de Fier, sex workeri\u021ba care \u00ee\u0219i f\u0103cea businessul f\u0103r\u0103 urm\u0103 de emo\u021bie chiar \u0219i pe vremea lui Ceau\u0219escu, c\u00e2nd risca ani grei de \u00eenchisoare, dac\u0103 nu i-ar fi avut la m\u00e2n\u0103 pe to\u021bi cu c\u00e2te ceva? Check. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nic\u0103ieri nu po\u021bi plasa pe cineva ahtiat dup\u0103 vicii \u0219i excese, cum e zodia Berbecului, mai bine dec\u00e2t la Gala\u021bi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Taurul &#8211; Ia\u0219i <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pentru zodia Taurului, via\u021ba are dou\u0103 valori esen\u021biale: m\u00e2ncarea bun\u0103 \u0219i lini\u0219tea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Iar Ia\u0219iul le are din plin pe ambele. M\u00e2ncare mai bun\u0103 \u0219i \u00een por\u021bii mai mari dec\u00e2t la Ia\u0219i nu g\u0103se\u0219ti nic\u0103ieri. \u0218i locuitorii sunt de un calm pe care nu pare s\u0103-l tulbure nimic \u0219i nimeni. V-am povestit c\u00e2nd mi-am lansat cartea la Ia\u0219i, \u00eei aveam eroi de afi\u0219 pe Emil Brumaru, Dumnezeu s\u0103-l ierte, \u0219i pe criticul Liviu Antonesei? \u0218i m-am pomenit cu libr\u0103ria plin\u0103 de lume? \u0218i niciunul din doi nu a ap\u0103rut, din varii motive? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>La Bucure\u0219ti, te-ar fi alungat lumea cu furci \u0219i topoare c\u0103 i-ai scos din cas\u0103 cu dou\u0103 nume grele \u0219i le-ai dat \u021beap\u0103. La Ia\u0219i, lumea a dat blajin din umeri: \u201eL\u0103sa\u021bi, d\u00e2n\u0219ii sunt b\u0103tr\u00e2ni \u0219i bolnavi, s\u0103rmanii. Zice\u021bi de carte.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Gemenii &#8211; Constan\u021ba <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gemenilor le place s\u0103 se \u00eemprieteneasc\u0103 superficial cu toat\u0103 lumea \u0219i s\u0103 se fac\u0103 nev\u0103zu\u021bi de cum apar dificult\u0103\u021bile. Iar Constan\u021ba, cu fluxul permanent de turi\u0219ti \u0219i cu traficul&#8230; de toate tipurile, e ora\u0219ul ideal pentru asta. Ai noi \u00eembog\u0103\u021bi\u021bi care nu \u00eencap \u00een cas\u0103 de bani \u0219i lume simpl\u0103; ai un mix de na\u021bionalit\u0103\u021bi cum rar \u00eent\u00e2lne\u0219ti, ai o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de oameni incredibil de frumo\u0219i, cu tr\u0103s\u0103turi exotice; ai comer\u021b intens la toate nivelurile, petreceri de toate tipurile, plaj\u0103, veselie \u0219i jocuri de noroc. Ce poate un Geam\u0103n s\u0103-\u0219i mai doreasc\u0103? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Racul &#8211; R\u00e2mnicu V\u00e2lcea <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Racul e o zodie sentimental\u0103, disperat\u0103 dup\u0103 intimitate \u0219i discre\u021bie. Iar R\u00e2mnicu &#8211; V\u00e2lcea e mic, verde \u0219i foarte intim. Perfect pentru plimb\u0103ri romantice \u00een doi sub clar de lun\u0103, fo\u0219net de codri, iubire adev\u0103rat\u0103 \u0219i un job remote la o firm\u0103 pe care nativii no\u0219tri n-o vor vizita niciodat\u0103 fizic, pentru c\u0103 spa\u021biile aglomerate sunt extenuante. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Leul <\/strong>&#8211; <strong>Cluj <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00centreab\u0103 un clujean ce ora\u0219 ar merita s\u0103 fie adev\u0103rata capital\u0103 a Rom\u00e2niei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A\u0219a cum Leul e ferm convins c\u0103 e pe un altar imaginar, comparativ cu restul \u021b\u0103ranilor jalnici din jur, Clujul e convins c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 termen de compara\u021bie pentru el \u00een tot rahatul \u0103sta de Rom\u00e2nie. Fiecare bud\u0103 public\u0103 din Cluj e un mic palat. Aici avem cultur\u0103 \u0219i valori, nu ca voi, plebea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Fecioara &#8211; Alba Iulia <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Iat\u0103 un ora\u0219 curat \u0219i ordonat, dar nu ostentativ. Semnificativ cultural \u0219i plin de istorie, dar lipsit de orice arogan\u021b\u0103. Cochet, dar nu fistichiu. Amabil, dar re\u021binut. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Alba-Iulia e ora\u0219ul-fecioar\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Timi\u0219oara &#8211; Balan\u021b\u0103 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Balan\u021ba e o zodie a amabilit\u0103\u0163ii \u015fi frumuse\u0163ii, care \u00ee\u0219i dore\u0219te s\u0103 se fac\u0103 pl\u0103cut\u0103 de toat\u0103 lumea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A\u0219a e \u0219i Timi\u0219oara: un ora\u015f de o frumuse\u0163e clasic\u0103, unde lumea e toat\u0103 numai polite\u021be, bune maniere \u0219i z\u00e2mbet. Totul e nice. C\u00e2nd vezi doi timi\u0219oreni cert\u00e2ndu-se, ai sentimentul c\u0103 se complimenteaz\u0103 pe un ton mai rece. Dac\u0103 ridic\u0103 tonul, sigur sunt timi\u0219oreni de Craiova. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Scorpionul &#8211; Odorheiul Secuiesc <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pentru Scorpion, o zi f\u0103r\u0103 certuri e o zi care a trecut degeaba. \u0218i nic\u0103ieri nu vei g\u0103si certuri ca la Odorheiul Secuiesc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> Motivul? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Apare el, mai devreme sau mai t\u00e2rziu. \u0218i dac\u0103 nu apare, \u00eel invent\u0103m. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>S\u0103get\u0103torul &#8211; Bucure\u0219ti <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oportunit\u0103\u021bi la fiecare pas, vitez\u0103 \u0219i haos pitoresc. Anonimat perfect \u00een mijlocul mul\u021bimii dezl\u0103n\u021buite. 15 minute de celebritate, urmate de un ocean de uitare. Un flux mereu nou de oameni care invadeaz\u0103 ora\u0219ul an de an. Bucure\u0219tiul e ora\u0219ul &#8211; S\u0103get\u0103tor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Capricornul &#8211; Sibiu <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sibianul le face \u0219i le \u0219tie pe toate mai bine, corect? Nu, nu e la fel cu clujeanul. Clujeanul e m\u00e2ndru de tot ce este \u0219i de tot ce are, sibianul e m\u00e2ndru de tot ce face \u0219i de tot ce produce. Evident c\u0103 e un meseria\u0219 mai bun ca tine, pentru c\u0103 tu e\u0219ti un diletant f\u0103r\u0103 viitor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mai face cineva br\u00e2nz\u0103 ca a noastr\u0103? Jazz ca al nostru? Teatru ca al nostru? B\u0103\u0219ini \u00een scal\u0103 pentatonic\u0103 a\u0219a cum sunt ale noastre? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Evident c\u0103 nu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ora\u0219ul perfect pentru Capricorn, workaholicul zodiacului. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>V\u0103rs\u0103torul &#8211; Arad <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aradul e suprarealist. Locuitorii lui par mereu \u00eenc\u0103lzi\u021bi de dou\u0103 shoturi pe post de cafelu\u021b\u0103 de diminea\u021b\u0103. Nu vei afla niciodat\u0103 c\u00e2nd vorbesc serios, pentru c\u0103 au mereu glumele pe \u021beav\u0103. \u0218i un vibe general de libertinism, de parc\u0103 petrecerea nu se termin\u0103 niciodat\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aradul e ora\u0219ul ideal pentru un V\u0103rs\u0103tor ros pe interior de viermi\u0219orul talentului care amenin\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 erup\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Pe\u0219tii &#8211; B\u0103ile Herculane <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nativii din Pe\u0219ti sunt perpetuu bolnavi \u0219i \u00eentr-o acut\u0103 suferin\u021b\u0103. \u0218i atunci, o sta\u021biune balneoclimateric\u0103 unde s\u0103 se poat\u0103 duce zilnic la tratamente e paradisul pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt. Mai duci o ciocolat\u0103 asistentei mature, comp\u0103timitoare, te mai pl\u00e2ngi dou\u0103 ore, te ascult\u0103 \u0219i te aprob\u0103, a mai trecut o zi \u00een care ai sim\u021bit c\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti. \u0218i sta\u021biunea e mic\u0103, deci nu te-ai dus departe, s\u0103 te calce ma\u0219inile pe drum, pentru c\u0103, nu-i a\u015fa, la omul s\u0103rac nici c\u00e2inii nu latr\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dac\u0103 apreciezi acest articol, po\u021bi sus\u021bine la r\u00e2ndul t\u0103u site-ul \u00een singurul mod care conteaz\u0103.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.paypal.com\/paypalme\/Trollywood\"><strong>Aici<\/strong><\/a>. Pentru dona\u021bii de 50 de euro sau mai mult, \u00eemi po\u021bi propune tu un subiect. Pentru dona\u021bii de 25 de euro sau mai mult, po\u021bi propune o poezie pentru<strong>&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@lorena.lupu\">cele 365 de zile de poezie.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14577\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong>&nbsp;\u015fi&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe&nbsp;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCCHBtHi6S2GlUFqETH70cjQ\">YouTube<\/a><\/strong>&nbsp;\u015fi pe<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@lorena.lupu\">&nbsp;TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Am scris horoscopul pentru toate revistele \u0219i ziarele la care am lucrat. Pentru c\u0103 cineva trebuia s-o fac\u0103 \u0219i pe asta, iar eu am&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19435,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/horoscope.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26229"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26231,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26229\/revisions\/26231"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19435"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}