{"id":26448,"date":"2024-05-07T13:22:43","date_gmt":"2024-05-07T10:22:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=26448"},"modified":"2024-05-07T13:22:46","modified_gmt":"2024-05-07T10:22:46","slug":"premiile-ce-a-fost-in-mintea-lor-editia-met-gala","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/premiile-ce-a-fost-in-mintea-lor-editia-met-gala\/","title":{"rendered":"Premiile \u201eCe-a fost \u00een mintea lor\u201d, edi\u021bia Met Gala"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

An de an, a\u015ftept\u0103m cu \u00eenfrigurare evenimentele de top ale elitei. \u015ei an de an, a\u015ftept\u0103m cu \u015fi mai mare \u00eenfrigurare s\u0103 explor\u0103m cotloanele pline de agonie \u015fi extaz ale covorului ro\u015fu.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aceast\u0103 mic\u0103 serie are un rol emo\u0163ional. Ea reconstituie ce a fost \u00een mintea eroului sau a eroinei, de-a ajuns s\u0103 ias\u0103 \u00een lume \u00een aceste memorabile ve\u015fminte.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

An de an, \u0219i respectiv ieri seara, New York a g\u0103zduit Met Gala. Un bal de caritate, destinat s\u0103 adune fonduri pentru Muzeul Metropolitan, de unde \u0219i numele Met. \u0218i totodat\u0103, un prilej pentru vedete din toate domeniile, de la film la muzic\u0103, de la politic\u0103 la cer\u0219etorie de aten\u021bie profesionist\u0103, s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i etaleze cele mai extravagante, exorbitante \u0219i n\u0103ucitoare \u021binute. Uneori, suntem epata\u021bi. Alteori, curg meme de genul: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n

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***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i subliniez: acesta e un pamflet. Nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103-mi apari l\u0103cr\u0103moas\u0103 \u0219i indignat\u0103 flea\u0219c\u0103 \u00een sec\u021biunea de comentarii s\u0103 \u021bipi la mine c\u0103 ixuleasca e o eroin\u0103, c\u0103 se lupt\u0103 de zece ani cu cancerul \u0219i totu\u0219i are puterea de a dona pentru \u0219oc\u00e2tele cu burt\u0103 ro\u0219ie \u0219i c\u0103 e\u0219ti profund r\u0103scolit\u0103. Nu e vorba de ce face ixuleasca \u00een rest, nu e un atac la valorile ixuleasc\u0103i, e un text satiric \u0219i \u021binta lui e doar ceea ce poart\u0103 ixuleasca la eveniment. Mkay? Bun. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0103 ne mai uit\u0103m la o mem\u0103 de la Gala Met, \u00een ideea c\u0103 \u00een\u021belege \u0219i Vasilica Crizata De Serviciu ideea de pamflet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n

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Ai prins-o, Vasi? E o glum\u0103, \u0219i reac\u021bia dorit\u0103 e hahaha, nu muuuuu muuuuuuuuuu muuuuu. Ok. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tema edi\u021biei 2024 a fost Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion, adic\u0103 Frumuse\u021bi adormite: Trezirea la via\u021b\u0103 a modei. \u0218i mul\u021bi au \u00een\u021beles-o ad litteram. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Premiul \u201eLumea este dormitorul meu\u201d – Doja Cat <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    <\/ol>\n\n\n
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    -Alo, Doamna Doja? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Regina Doja vrei s\u0103 spui, muritor de r\u00e2nd. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Cum zice\u021bi dvs., doamn\u0103. Suntem de la Impozite \u0219i Taxe \u0219i v\u0103 inform\u0103m c\u0103 v-am recalculat obliga\u021biile financiare fa\u021b\u0103 de stat. Ne mai datora\u021bi 456 de milioane de dolari. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Nu se poate, p\u0103i m\u0103 l\u0103sa\u021bi \u00een fundul gol. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Ne pare r\u0103u, doamn\u0103, impozitele sunt impozite \u0219i nu ne juc\u0103m cu ele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Iubito, ai hot\u0103r\u00e2t deja \u00een ce te \u00eembraci la Gala Met? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Premiul \u201eLumea e plaja mea de nudi\u0219ti\u201d – Rita Ora. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

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    -Alo, doamna Ora? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Faraoana absolut\u0103 Ora vrei s\u0103 spui, irelevan\u021b\u0103 ambulant\u0103 ce e\u0219ti. Ce vrei? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Suntem tot de la Impozite \u0219i Taxe \u0219i v-am recalculat obliga\u021biile financiare fa\u021b\u0103 de stat. Dar ave\u021bi \u0219i din urm\u0103. Ne pare r\u0103u, va trebui s\u0103 v\u0103 lu\u0103m \u0219i prosoapele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Mai bine. Eu oricum nu am celulit\u0103 ca fraiera aia de Doja, deci nu am nimic de ascuns. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Premiul \u201eC\u00e2nd ajung acas\u0103, rup chilo\u021bii nevesti-mii. C\u0103 m\u0103 str\u00e2ng de turbez\u201d – Eddie Redmayne <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

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    \"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

    -Eddie, \u021bi-au pierdut bagajele la aeroport \u0219i \u00eencepe gala \u00een jum\u0103tate de or\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -O, nuuuuuuuu! O, nu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nu pot s\u0103 merg \u00een pielea goal\u0103, c\u0103 risc s\u0103 m\u0103 dea fetele \u00een judecat\u0103 pentru plagiat!!! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Stai, drag\u0103, lini\u0219tit. Nu sunt eu nevasta ta de \u00eencredere? Nu am eu mereu solu\u021bii c\u00e2nd se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 rahaturi? Uite, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 rochia mea de gal\u0103, am adus \u0219i un capo\u021bel sexos cu care pl\u0103nuiam s\u0103 facem dragoste romantic\u0103 \u0219i r\u0103scolitoare la hotel, dup\u0103 ce se termina balul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Ce tare! \u00cemi \u0219i vine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Foarte frumos. Deci, avem cu ce s\u0103 ne \u00eembr\u0103c\u0103m. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Da. \u0218i ca s\u0103 ar\u0103t care dintre noi e b\u0103rbatul, o s\u0103-mi p\u0103strez \u0219osetele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Premiul \u201eDac\u0103 e sub plapum\u0103, nu se pune\u201d – Paloma Elsesser <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

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    -Mi-a venit ciclul!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Doamne! Sper c\u0103 nu \u021bi-ai p\u0103tat fusta, a costat numai 300.000 de dolari. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Ba da. E toat\u0103 terci. Fac un act de cruzime carnal\u0103 la Met sau m\u0103 dezbrac ca restul fetelor? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Drag\u0103, ai o v\u00e2rst\u0103, nu mai po\u021bi \u00een fundul gol. Ri\u0219ti s\u0103 tabere pe tine to\u021bi produc\u0103torii de granny p**n. Iar cruzimea carnal\u0103 e o idee str\u0103lucit\u0103, dar e prea anii 1980. Hai mai bine s\u0103 lu\u0103m plapuma asta \u0219i s-o prindem cu un ac de siguran\u021b\u0103 pe sub corset. Nimeni nu se prinde. To\u021bi vor crede c\u0103 e ultima produc\u021bie Balenciaga. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Ce m\u0103 f\u0103ceam eu f\u0103r\u0103 tine, iubitule? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Mureai anonim\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Premiul \u201eGlorie mielului\u201d – Kris Jenner <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    -Ce v\u0103 facem pentru Gala Met, doamn\u0103? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Nu o s\u0103 crezi niciodat\u0103! Noaptea trecut\u0103 mi s-a ar\u0103tat Domnul nostru Isus Cristos \u00een caviar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Wow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -L-am \u00eentins \u0219i pe blini, dar el era tot acolo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Wow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -\u0218i Domnul nostru mi-a zis: Kris… Vezi, ne \u0219i porecle\u0219te lumea la fel. Ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eencepi o nou\u0103 religie. Una care spune c\u0103 Dumnezeu a creat-o pe Eva, apoi pe Adam din coasta ei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Mi se pare o ipotez\u0103 mai valid\u0103 a\u0219a. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -\u0218i mie! \u0218i s\u0103 ceri cotiza\u021bie de la enoria\u0219e 150 de dolari pe lun\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -Ieftin! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    -\u0218tiu. F\u0103-mi noile mele ve\u0219minte preo\u021be\u0219ti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Dac\u0103 apreciezi acest articol, po\u021bi sus\u021bine la r\u00e2ndul t\u0103u site-ul \u00een singurul mod care conteaz\u0103.\u00a0Aici<\/strong><\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    An de an, a\u015ftept\u0103m cu \u00eenfrigurare evenimentele de top ale elitei. \u015ei an de an, a\u015ftept\u0103m cu \u015fi mai mare \u00eenfrigurare s\u0103 explor\u0103m cotloanele...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":26456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26448","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/doja-cat-1.jpg?fit=722%2C517&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26448","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26448"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26448\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26457,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26448\/revisions\/26457"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26448"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26448"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26448"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}