\u00cemi place foarte mult po\u0219ta redac\u021biei. Am \u0219i eu o \u00eentrebare: rela\u021biile care au fost odat\u0103 toxice se pot repara? E o fost\u0103 care vrea s\u0103 ne \u00eemp\u0103c\u0103m \u0219i nu sunt hot\u0103r\u00e2t ce s\u0103 fac. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n X. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Drag\u0103 X, <\/p>\n\n\n\n M-ar fi ajutat mult s\u0103 \u00eemi dai mai multe detalii despre dinamica rela\u021biei tale cu fosta, s\u0103 \u00eemi dau seama ce n-a mers prima oar\u0103 \u0219i ce se poate face. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A\u0219a, nu pot dec\u00e2t s\u0103 tatonez generic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ca idee, \u0219i din experien\u021b\u0103 personal\u0103, pot spune a\u0219a: PRIMUL PAS, SINGURUL INDISPENSABIL, PENTRU REPARAREA UNEI RELA\u021aII TOXICE ESTE S\u0102 NU POR\u021aI PIC\u0102. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Asta, desigur, depinde \u0219i de volumul de rahaturi pe care \u021bi le-a f\u0103cut respectiva persoan\u0103, \u0219i de nivelul t\u0103u personal de toleran\u021b\u0103 pentru rahaturi. Po\u021bi ierta cu adev\u0103rat, din ad\u00e2ncul sufletului? Dac\u0103 da, exist\u0103 o \u0219ans\u0103 pentru repara\u021bie. Dac\u0103 nu, e mai s\u0103n\u0103tos s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi asumi c\u0103 tu pur \u0219i simplu nu ai cum s\u0103 treci cu vederea trecutul \u0219i s\u0103 cau\u021bi noi orizonturi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Vedem acele cupluri care se \u00eempac\u0103, dar cu o atitudine de tipul \u201eEu iert, dar nu uit.\u201d Asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 ranchiuna clocote\u0219te \u00een continuare \u00een aer, \u0219i orice mic gest care ar putea p\u0103rea o ofens\u0103 e ca un b\u0103\u021b de chibrit aprins dup\u0103 o scurgere de petrol. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 nu sim\u021bi c\u0103 po\u021bi \u00eengropa mor\u021bii cu adev\u0103rat, definitiv, atunci mai bine v\u0103 vede\u021bi fiecare de a m\u0103micu\u021bei din dotare \u0219i \u00eei spui fostei: \u201eSorry, iubire, dar s-au \u00eent\u00e2mplat prea multe m\u0103g\u0103rii \u00eentre noi \u0219i, pur \u0219i simplu, e mai s\u0103n\u0103tos s\u0103 se joace fiecare la scara lui.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103, judec\u00e2nd retrospectiv, realizezi c\u0103 nu ai mari nemul\u021bumiri legate de ceea ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat, \u0219i c\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi provoac\u0103 bucurie sincer\u0103 s\u0103 revezi persoana, e un semn bun c\u0103 exist\u0103 \u0219anse de rezolvare a conflictului. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Apoi, mai e un aspect: c\u00e2t de mult e fiecare dintre voi dispus s\u0103 evolueze ca om, pentru a nu ajunge din nou \u00een situa\u021biile iritante \u0219i frustrante care au dus la desp\u0103r\u021bire prima oar\u0103? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Da, asta presupune s\u0103 discuta\u021bi matur, calm, tot ce n-a mers. \u0218i ce pute\u021bi face diferit. Poate c\u0103 ea era cert\u0103rea\u021b\u0103 c\u00e2nd tu aveai nevoie de lini\u0219te. Discuta\u021bi despre asta. Poate c\u0103 tu te d\u0103deai disp\u0103rut de cum se apuca ea de cur\u0103\u021benie. Discuta\u021bi despre asta. Poate c\u0103 ea nu avea niciodat\u0103 chef de s*x (pentru c\u0103 tu te d\u0103deai disp\u0103rut de cum se apuca ea de cur\u0103\u021benie, lol). Discuta\u021bi despre asta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218i prin \u201ediscuta\u021bi despre asta\u201d, nu spun s\u0103 ajunge\u021bi din nou s\u0103 v\u0103 certa\u021bi ca orbe\u021bii. Discuta\u021bi despre asta constructiv, identifica\u021bi solu\u021bii. Ea s\u0103-\u021bi respecte \u021bie nevoia de lini\u0219te, tu s\u0103 pui osul la treab\u0103 c\u00e2nd vine momentul de cur\u0103\u021benie, etc. etc. Comunica\u021bi deschis, f\u0103r\u0103 agresivitate \u0219i acuza\u021bii, \u0219i vede\u021bi cu maturitate dac\u0103 pute\u021bi face treaba s\u0103 mearg\u0103. Dac\u0103 reu\u0219i\u021bi s\u0103 ave\u021bi o prim\u0103 discu\u021bie matur\u0103 \u0219i constructiv\u0103, care s\u0103 se \u00eencheie pozitiv, e un semn bun. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218i da, pentru asta e nevoie ca am\u00e2ndoi s\u0103 ave\u021bi un mindset de rezolvare a problemelor, nu de \u201ecum fac eu pe interesantul \u00eentr-un mod mai iritant\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Asum\u0103-\u021bi ce ai gre\u0219it. Arat\u0103 c\u0103 \u00een\u021belegi ce ai f\u0103cut gre\u0219it, \u0219i consecin\u021bele a ceea ce ai f\u0103cut. Asta ajut\u0103 mult la repararea oric\u0103rei rela\u021bii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n De exemplu, mul\u021bi aleg s\u0103 rup\u0103 definitiv rela\u021bia cu p\u0103rin\u021bii care i-au abuzat \u00een copil\u0103rie, tocmai pentru c\u0103 p\u0103rintele neag\u0103 cu \u00eenver\u0219unare abuzul \u0219i pretinde c\u0103 \u201eba da, \u021bi-am dat tot ce \u021bi-a trebuit \u0219i nu \u021bi-a lipsit nimic.\u201d DAC\u0102 VREI S\u0102 \u0218TII CE MI-A LIPSIT, \u00ceNTREAB\u0102-M\u0102, NU MAI DA TU VERDICTE PE NEVOILE MELE. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Nimic nu alimenteaz\u0103 frustrarea \u0219i ranchiuna \u00een rela\u021bii ca preten\u021bia unui combatant sau a unei combatante c\u0103 \u0219tie mai bine dec\u00e2t tine de ce ai nevoie, ce-\u021bi lipse\u0219te \u0219i ce e cazul s\u0103 vrei. Asta se nume\u0219te popular \u201ec\u00e2\u0219tigare la belciuge\u201d, \u0219i \u0219tiin\u021bific \u201etentativ\u0103 de control abuziv\u201d, \u0219i e primul semn c\u0103 nu ai nici o \u0219ans\u0103 s\u0103 func\u021bionezi s\u0103n\u0103tos \u00een acel cuplu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So: f\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2i o introspec\u021bie \u0219i vezi dac\u0103 tu, personal, po\u021bi trece de ranchiun\u0103, apoi \u0219ezi la o cafea \u0219i vezi dac\u0103 pute\u021bi crea un mecanism s\u0103n\u0103tos de comunicare \u0219i cooperare armonioas\u0103. Dac\u0103 \u201eda\u201d \u0219i \u201eda\u201d, cas\u0103 de piatr\u0103. Dac\u0103 minimum un \u201enu\u201d, toate cele bune, mi-a f\u0103cut pl\u0103cere s\u0103 ne revedem \u0219i mult\u0103 s\u0103n\u0103tate la neamuri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sper c\u0103 \u021bi-am fost util\u0103, <\/p>\n\n\n\n Lorena. <\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dac\u0103 apreciezi acest articol, po\u021bi sus\u021bine la r\u00e2ndul t\u0103u site-ul \u00een singurul mod care conteaz\u0103. Aici<\/strong><\/a>. Pentru dona\u021bii de 50 de euro sau mai mult, \u00eemi po\u021bi propune tu un subiect. Pentru dona\u021bii de 25 de euro sau mai mult, po\u021bi propune o poezie pentru cele 365 de zile de poezie.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. \u00cen sensul \u00een care el sau ea, sau chiar tu, de ce nu, ne trimite(\u021bi) problema voastr\u0103 de suflet...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19971,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26547","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/tango.jpg?fit=640%2C425&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26547","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26547"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26547\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26548,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26547\/revisions\/26548"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19971"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26547"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26547"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26547"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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