{"id":26892,"date":"2024-09-06T11:30:19","date_gmt":"2024-09-06T08:30:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=26892"},"modified":"2024-09-06T11:35:36","modified_gmt":"2024-09-06T08:35:36","slug":"nu-vad-nimic-rau-in-a-fi-selectiva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/nu-vad-nimic-rau-in-a-fi-selectiva\/","title":{"rendered":"Nu v\u0103d nimic r\u0103u \u00een a fi selectiv\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103, mi-a scris pentru po\u015fta redac\u0163iei o fat\u0103 de 35 de ani, care, printre altele, men\u0163ionase c\u0103 n-a cunoscut p\u00e2n\u0103 la acea v\u00e2rst\u0103 un b\u0103rbat cu care s\u0103-\u015fi doreasc\u0103 o rela\u0163ie. Evident, dar evident, au s\u0103rit \u015fi c\u00e2\u0163iva indivizi \u00een sec\u0163iunea de comentarii, s\u0103 fac\u0103 gargar\u0103 agresiv\u0103 \u00een privin\u0163a \u201efemeilor prea selective\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eCum n-a g\u0103sit pe cineva p\u00e2n\u0103 la v\u00e2rsta asta!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

E destul de u\u0219or s\u0103 nu g\u0103se\u0219ti pe cineva care s\u0103-\u021bi plac\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la absolut orice v\u00e2rst\u0103, dac\u0103, s\u0103 zicem, tr\u0103ie\u0219ti \u00eentr-o \u021bar\u0103 care glorific\u0103 gher\u021boiala agresiv\u0103, iar \u021bie personal gher\u021boiala agresiv\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi inspir\u0103 repulsie din r\u0103runchi. \u201dDar nu to\u021bi sunt a\u0219a\u201d. OK, dar dac\u0103 te confrun\u021bi \u00eentr-o zi cu unul, \u00een ziua aia, cheful t\u0103u de amor se usuc\u0103 \u0219i moare, pentru c\u0103 nu suntem robo\u021bi, ci oameni. \u0218i o traum\u0103 nu trebuie obligatoriu s\u0103 vin\u0103 dintr-un viol sau o tentativ\u0103 de crim\u0103. O traum\u0103 poate veni \u0219i din faptul c\u0103 cineva te tufe zilnic la icre \u00een cel mai agasant mod, ca \u0219i cum ar vrea s\u0103 te pedepseasc\u0103 c\u0103 nu e\u0219ti interesat, iar tu nu \u00eei po\u021bi da flit instant pentru c\u0103 \u021bi-e profesor \/ \u0219ef \/ prieten cu cineva din familie \/ etc., iar lumea din jur se aliaz\u0103 cu bully-ul, nu cu tine, tot \u201epentru c\u0103 e\u0219ti prea selectiv\u0103.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am pierdut una dintre cele mai generoase contribuitoare lunare la paypalul blogului doar pentru c\u0103 mi-a venit la un moment dat cu un speech legat de femei prea selective, iar eu nu m-am putut ab\u021bine \u0219i i-am zis ceva de genul: Tu, ca femeie, ar trebui s\u0103 fii prima care \u00een\u021belege dreptul altor femei la propriile alegeri. Nu exist\u0103 femei \u201eprea selective\u201d. Pur \u0219i simplu, nu-\u021bi place oferta \u0219i n-ar trebui s\u0103 te constr\u00e2ng\u0103 nimeni, sau s\u0103 caute s\u0103 pun\u0103 presiune cu jigniri, s\u0103-\u021bi plac\u0103. Fiecare femeie are dreptul s\u0103 fie c\u00e2t de selectiv\u0103 dore\u0219te, iar dac\u0103 rezultatul e singur\u0103tatea, hai s\u0103 analiz\u0103m ce \u021bi se poate \u00eent\u00e2mpla r\u0103u. Ca femeie singur\u0103, cel mult te plictise\u0219ti acas\u0103 – \u0219i nu te opre\u0219te nimeni s\u0103 ie\u0219i undeva \u0219i singur\u0103 sau cu prieteni. Ca femeie \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie toxic\u0103 sau incompatibil\u0103, \u021bi se poate \u00eent\u00e2mpla orice, de la abuz fizic la exploatare financiar\u0103, de la gaslighting \u0219i manipulare \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 la absen\u021ba oric\u0103rui moment \u00een care faci ceva care s\u0103-\u021bi aduc\u0103 bucurie \u021bie, pentru tine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O femeie singur\u0103 e \u00een controlul propriului timp, propriilor decizii \u0219i propriilor bani. Una \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie are mereu list\u0103 de sarcini de la masculul din dotare, pentru c\u0103, \u00een calitate de so\u021bie sau iubit\u0103, \u201ee treaba ei s\u0103\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mi se pare logic \u0219i de la sine \u00een\u021beles s\u0103 fii selectiv\u0103, pentru c\u0103 sunt cazuri \u00een care ai mai mult de pierdut dec\u00e2t de c\u00e2\u0219tigat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd i-am spus asta, donatoarea mea s-a sup\u0103rat grav pe mine \u0219i \u0219i-a sistat instant dona\u021biile. Evident c\u0103, spre deosebire de \u201eunfriend!!!\u201d de la comentac(\u0103) oarecare 567889654, unde nu pierdeam nimic, retragerea unui donator e o pierdere real\u0103 pentru acest blog, dar sunt situa\u021bii c\u00e2nd nu po\u021bi trece cu vederea ce t\u00e2mpenii debiteaz\u0103 cel\u0103lalt, indiferent c\u00e2\u021bi bani \u00ee\u021bi trimite. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Da, e dreptul fiec\u0103rei femei s\u0103 fie selectiv\u0103, pentru c\u0103 o rela\u021bie presupune at\u00e2tea obliga\u021bii, \u00eenc\u00e2t mi se pare normal s\u0103 te \u00eentrebi dac\u0103 personajul te inspir\u0103 suficient pentru a-\u021bi asuma benevol toate aceste obliga\u021bii sau nu. \u0218i e dreptul fiec\u0103rei femei s\u0103 decid\u0103 pentru sine ce anume caut\u0103, la schimb pentru aceste obliga\u021bii. R\u0103spunsul e diferit pentru fiecare \u00een parte \u0219i e perfect \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 fie a\u0219a. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apoi, vin \u0103ia cu \u201efemeia \u0219i b\u0103rbatul sunt jum\u0103t\u0103\u021bile unui \u00eentreg\u201d. Sigur, dar mai trebuie s\u0103 vrea \u0219i ea s\u0103 formeze un \u00eentreg cu tine, c\u0103 dac\u0103 nu \u00eei inspiri asta, sorry about it, nu se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ca s\u0103 citez o glumi\u021b\u0103 care circula zilele trecute pe Facebook: <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

E 100% \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 n-ai chef, e 100% \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 nu-\u021bi plac\u0103 nimeni \u00een mod special \u0219i e 100% \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 preferi lini\u0219tea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Iar legat de femeile selective, spun doar at\u00e2t: c\u00e2nd e vorba s\u0103-\u021bi asumi echivalentul unui job neremunerat cu obliga\u021bii 24 \/ 7, e NORMAL s\u0103 fii selectiv. Dubios ar fi s\u0103 nu fii. \u0218i culmea, b\u0103rba\u021bii le trateaz\u0103 cel mai prost, mai misecuvenist \u0219i mai la sictir pe cele care NU<\/strong> sunt selective. Dac\u0103 ob\u021bin totul necondi\u021bionat \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 efort, trag concluzia c\u0103 aia e proast\u0103 – fie c\u0103 o spun, fie c\u0103 nu – \u0219i se folosesc de ea p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een p\u00e2nzele albe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i da, sunt femei care ajung p\u00e2n\u0103 la 35 de ani \u0219i nu \u00eent\u00e2lnesc pe nimeni care s\u0103 merite deranjul. Realitatea e c\u0103 \u0219i restul, c\u00e2nd le \u00eentrebi de ce stau cu iubi de acum, \u00ee\u021bi dau un r\u0103spuns din categoria \u201emi-e fric\u0103 de singur\u0103tate\u201d, \u201enu cred c\u0103 g\u0103sesc pe cineva mai bun\u201d sau \u201ecopiii au nevoie de un tat\u0103\u201d. Tot at\u00e2tea forme de \u201emerge \u0219i-a\u0219a\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, via\u021ba ta e cel mai valoros bun al t\u0103u. Banii vin \u0219i pleac\u0103, joburile interesante vin \u0219i pleac\u0103, succesul vine \u0219i pleac\u0103, dar lini\u0219tea unei dimine\u021bi de duminic\u0103, c\u00e2nd deschizi larg geamurile s\u0103 intre soarele, apoi \u00ee\u021bi bei lini\u0219tit cafeaua pe balcon \u0219i nu e nimeni acolo s\u0103 te frece la icre \u0219i s\u0103-\u021bi strice zenul e genul de fericire pe care mul\u021bi nu o au. De ce s-o sacrifici pe mizilicuri? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi plac aceste articole, po\u021bi alege s\u0103-mi oferi sus\u021binerea de care am nevoie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103, mi-a scris pentru po\u015fta redac\u0163iei o fat\u0103 de 35 de ani, care, printre altele, men\u0163ionase c\u0103 n-a cunoscut p\u00e2n\u0103 la acea v\u00e2rst\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21819,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26892","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/wow.jpg?fit=640%2C465&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26892","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26892"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26892\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26897,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26892\/revisions\/26897"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}