{"id":27108,"date":"2024-10-26T11:08:03","date_gmt":"2024-10-26T08:08:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=27108"},"modified":"2024-10-26T13:14:36","modified_gmt":"2024-10-26T10:14:36","slug":"amoroso","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/amoroso\/","title":{"rendered":"Amoroso"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

La un moment dat, am avut un vecin care s-a \u00eendr\u0103gostit de mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ie\u0219eam din garsonier\u0103, \u00een mieunat de motan care nu p\u0103rea convins c\u0103 e nevoie cu adev\u0103rat s\u0103 plec, pentru a pune plicule\u021b pe mas\u0103, prin urmare, m\u0103 tr\u0103gea de cracii pantalonilor, l\u0103f\u0103it pe pragul u\u0219ii de la intrare. Iar eu \u00eencercam f\u0103r\u0103 succes s\u0103-l \u00eemping \u00eenapoi \u00een cas\u0103, s\u0103 pot \u00eencuia u\u0219a. Btw, cine spune c\u0103 pisicile sunt fiin\u021be indiferente n-a avut una. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vecinul s-a uitat r\u00e2njind la scena de lupt\u0103 \u0219i a decretat: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-S\u0103 \u0219tii c\u0103 e\u0219ti foarte frumoas\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Newsflash: c\u00e2nd vede\u021bi o femeie, sau orice alt\u0103 fiin\u021b\u0103 uman\u0103, c\u0103 \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 rezolve o problem\u0103, \u0219i \u021bine\u021bi neap\u0103rat s\u0103 v\u0103 intromisiona\u021bi \u00een seam\u0103, oferi\u021bi-v\u0103 s\u0103 rezolva\u021bi problema. Un compliment nu face dec\u00e2t s\u0103 enerveze un om iritat. Mie personal \u00eemi evoc\u0103 asta: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Am m\u00e2r\u00e2it ceva antipatic, am \u00een\u0219f\u0103cat mot\u0103nosul \u0219i, pentru c\u0103 anticipam c\u0103 \u0219i boul hlizit se duce tot la lift, am intrat cu el \u00eenapoi \u00een cas\u0103, i-am dat ni\u0219te treats, m-am jucat pu\u021bin cu el s\u0103 oboseasc\u0103, au trecut vreo zece minute \u0219i apoi am ie\u0219it spre lift. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Surpriz\u0103: boul hlizit era tot acolo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0102la a fost momentul c\u00e2nd antipatia mea superficial\u0103 s-a transformat \u00een cringe pur. I-am aruncat o singur\u0103 privire, \u0219i am luat-o pe sc\u0103ri \u00een jos. \u00cen tot acel timp, \u00eemi spuneam c\u0103 iat\u0103 de ce am pierdut eu at\u00e2tea trenuri \u00een via\u021b\u0103: nu pot s\u0103 mimez polite\u021bea cu oameni care nu-mi plac, \u0219i chiar dac\u0103 nu spun nimic, mi se cite\u0219te subtitrarea pe fa\u021b\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jos, \u00een fa\u021ba blocului, omul nostru mima c\u0103 treb\u0103luie\u0219te la o motociclet\u0103. De ce nu pleca unde avea treab\u0103? A, da. Mai voia s\u0103 se bage o dat\u0103 \u00een seam\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dup\u0103 ce mi-a aruncat o privire macho-macho-man, s-a urcat pe motociclet\u0103 ca un James Dean de Balta Alb\u0103 \u0219i a plecat \u00een tromb\u0103. Spre bucuria mea, c\u0103 nu trebuia s\u0103 \u00eendur \u00eenc\u0103 o tentativ\u0103 de conversa\u021bie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seara, m\u0103 uitam la ceva gore s\u00e2ngeros sud-american, cu m\u00e2\u021bul fericit c\u0103 e \u021binut \u00een bra\u021be, c\u00e2nd am auzit b\u0103taie \u00een u\u0219\u0103. Acea b\u0103taie \u00een u\u0219\u0103 \u00eenceat\u0103 \u0219i cu sub\u00een\u021beles, specific\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bilor care vin s\u0103 sugereze c\u0103 ar tufe \u0219i ei ceva. Am ignorat. B\u0103taia \u00een u\u0219\u0103 s-a repetat. Am oftat. Gore-ul era pe la por\u021bunea de t\u0103cere \u00eencremenit\u0103, deci nu m\u0103 ajuta. I-am dat stop, am deschis un playlist intitulat \u201dMori \u00een s\u00e2nge\u201d, cu multe melodioare vesele de Rammstein, Sepultura \u00een perioada lor sup\u0103rat\u0103, Slayer, Motorhead \u0219i \u00eenc\u0103 c\u00e2\u021biva, l-am dat la maximum \u0219i am a\u0219teptat ca pofta de amor-amor s\u0103 dispar\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dup\u0103 vreo trei melodii, b\u0103taie sup\u0103rat\u0103 \u00een u\u0219\u0103: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Nu exist\u0103 a\u0219a ceva, e sear\u0103, unii mai \u0219i muncim!! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Voce sup\u0103rat\u0103 de femeie 40+. Bun, deci, amoroso plecase, \u00eenfr\u00e2nt \u00een tentativele lui de cucerire. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A doua zi diminea\u021ba, fl\u0103c\u0103ul nostru era la lift, cu aceea\u0219i privire de \u201esunt at\u00e2t de pies\u0103 \u0219i nu \u0219tii ce pierzi\u201d. Din nou, am luat-o pe sc\u0103ri. De data asta, a venit dup\u0103 mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Saluuut. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Salut! am tr\u00e2ntit-o pe un ton sec, care \u00eenchidea conversa\u021bia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-V\u0103d c\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi place s\u0103 mergi pe sc\u0103ri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Da. \u00cemi place la nebunie s\u0103 merg pe sc\u0103ri singur\u0103. Ce zici, \u00eemi faci pl\u0103cerea asta? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Pe mine m\u0103 cheam\u0103 Cumva. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Sigur, doar c\u0103 eu n-am manifestat o curiozitate \u00een acest sens. M\u0103 scuzi, sunt \u00een \u00eent\u00e2rziere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Galopam pe sc\u0103ri \u00een jos de zici c\u0103 eram calul c\u00e2\u0219tig\u0103tor pe care \u00ee\u0219i puseser\u0103 cunosc\u0103torii pariurile. Am reu\u0219it s\u0103 c\u00e2\u0219tig distan\u021b\u0103, am sc\u0103pat de urm\u0103ritor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seara, din nou, b\u0103taie cu sub\u00een\u021beles \u00een u\u0219\u0103. De data asta, am zis c\u0103 nu are rost s\u0103 sup\u0103r vecina care mai \u0219i muncea, m-am uitat la film \u00een continuare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd m-am convins c\u0103 orice fo\u0219g\u0103ial\u0103 a disp\u0103rut pe coridor \u0219i c\u0103 e lini\u0219te ca-n Catedrala M\u00e2ntuirii Neamului, am luat o foaie A4, un marker negru \u0219i un scotch. \u201eNU PRIMIM VIZITE F\u0102R\u0102 PROGRAMARE \u00ceN PREALABIL. MAFIA.\u201d Am lipit-o pe u\u0219\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A doua zi de diminea\u021b\u0103, ies din garsonier\u0103 \u0219i constat c\u0103 anun\u021bul meu disp\u0103ruse. Mi s-a sculat p\u0103rul \u00een cap. Ajung la lift, constat c\u0103 era acolo, r\u00e2njind. Din nou, am luat-o pe sc\u0103ri \u00een jos, dar numai un etaj. C\u00e2nd am ie\u0219it din lift, am constatat c\u0103 se uita la nu \u0219tiu ce pe avizier. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Deci, iei liftul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Da. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i am tulit-o afar\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A doua zi, m-am trezit cu o or\u0103 mai devreme, m-am echipat cu viteza v\u00e2ntului \u0219i a g\u00e2ndului. \u00cen sf\u00e2r\u0219it, eram singur\u0103 la lift, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 agaseze nimeni cu prezen\u021ba. Ce frumoase sunt micile bucurii ale vie\u021bii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seara, m\u0103 a\u0219tepta o coal\u0103 A4 lipit\u0103 de u\u0219\u0103: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eAM AUZIT C\u0102 TU\u0218E\u0218TI NOAPTEA. DE CE NU TE DUCI LA DOCTOR?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eP\u0103i nu-mi bag eu pwla \u00een integralitatea mor\u021bilor m\u0103-tii!?\u201d am murmurat eu \u00een g\u00e2nd. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am luat cu m\u00e2ini tremur\u00e2nd de draci h\u00e2rtia, am scris cu markerul pe ea: \u201eS\u0103 se mire pro\u0219tii care nu se prind c\u0103 sunt inoportuni!\u201d \u0219i am lipit-o \u00eenapoi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Evident, a doua zi, c\u00e2nd am plecat iar cu o or\u0103 mai devreme, h\u00e2rtia disp\u0103ruse. Se pare c\u0103 amoroso avea un hobby: colec\u021biona refuzuri. Mi-am \u0219i imaginat cum \u00ee\u0219i invit\u0103 prietenii: \u201eVii pe la mine s\u0103-\u021bi ar\u0103t colec\u021bia mea de mor\u021bi de mam\u0103?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atunci, mi-am dat seama c\u0103 se impun m\u0103suri. Am dat interviu pentru un job remote, l-am \u0219i luat, \u0219i vreo dou\u0103 luni am avut un lockdown autoimpus: facturi pl\u0103tite din cas\u0103, Glovo pe short dial, munc\u0103 numai de acas\u0103. Spre bucuria motanului care putea s\u0103 se plimbe pe mine ca pe bulevard toat\u0103 ziua. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd, \u00eentr-o diminea\u021b\u0103, am auzit din apartamentul al\u0103turat \u201eMerge trenul, parc\u0103 zboar\u0103, dintr-o \u021bar\u0103-n alt\u0103 \u021bar\u0103!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dau un ochi pe hol \u0219i v\u0103d un morman de materiale de construc\u021bii. Pe cutii era brandul construct.md. \u00cen timp ce m\u0103 uitam, se deschide u\u0219a apartamentului vecin \u0219i ies doi copii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-S\u00ee fi\u021b cumiiiin\u021b! se aude din interior o voce de femeie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am r\u0103suflat u\u0219urat\u0103. Cred c\u0103 niciodat\u0103 n-am tr\u0103it o dragoste mai profund\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de fra\u021bii no\u0219tri de peste Prut. Zdob \u0219i Zdub for the win! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da follow pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi plac aceste articole, po\u021bi alege s\u0103-mi oferi sus\u021binerea de care am nevoie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

La un moment dat, am avut un vecin care s-a \u00eendr\u0103gostit de mine. Ie\u0219eam din garsonier\u0103, \u00een mieunat de motan care nu p\u0103rea convins...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27108","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/doorknock.jpg?fit=234%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27108","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27108"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27108\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27112,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27108\/revisions\/27112"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}