{"id":2849,"date":"2010-11-05T12:36:29","date_gmt":"2010-11-05T09:36:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=2849"},"modified":"2010-11-05T12:36:29","modified_gmt":"2010-11-05T09:36:29","slug":"la-cererea-publicului-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/la-cererea-publicului-2\/","title":{"rendered":"La cererea publicului 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

B\u0103t\u0103u\u015fu’ de c\u00e2mpi <\/strong><\/p>\n

T\u0103iculi\u0163\u0103 drag,<\/p>\n

\tTu, care le \u015ftii p\u0103 toate v\u0103zutele \u015fi nev\u0103zutele, spre deosebire d\u0103 umilu\u2019 robu\u2019 t\u0103u, Gic\u0103 Cioc\u0103l\u0103u, care nu \u015ftie d\u0103 niciunele, \u015ftii \u015fi faptu\u2019 c\u0103 la noi \u00een cas\u0103 prostiile se fac p\u0103 balcon. \u00cen cas\u0103, nu ne d\u0103 a noastr\u0103 voie nici s\u0103 spargem semin\u0163e, nici s\u0103 fum\u0103m, nici alte alea \u2013 sanchi, c\u0103 stric\u0103m mobila, c\u0103 \u00eempu\u0163im locu\u2019, \u015fi alte texte-pretexte. Adev\u0103ru\u2019 \u00eei c\u0103 b\u0103boiului \u00eei place grozav s\u0103 comande, s\u0103 ne arate cu fiecare ocazie cine-i \u015fefu\u2019 \u00een casa asta, \u015fi c\u0103, dac\u0103 nu ni s-a ur\u00e2t cu binele, n-avem dec\u00e2t s\u0103 juc\u0103m dup\u0103 cum ne fluier\u0103 ea.
\n\tPoanta e c\u0103 ea a disp\u0103rut ca o m\u0103g\u0103ri\u0163\u0103-n cea\u0163\u0103, da\u2019 io, c\u00e2nd mi s-a pus pata s\u0103 fumez, am ie\u015fit p\u0103 loc p\u0103 balcon, ca un c\u0103\u0163el bine dresat. Cre\u2019 c\u0103, dac\u0103 mi-a\u015f fi aprins \u0163igarea \u00een cas\u0103, n-a\u015f fi avut nici un pic d\u0103 lini\u015fte, m-ar fi stresat ideea c\u0103 poate veni din clip\u0103-n clip\u0103, s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u0103seasc\u0103 \u00een flagrant deliciu. \u00cen fine, mi se f\u00e2lf\u00e2ie d\u0103 toate chestiile astea f\u0103r\u0103 noim\u0103, problema mea \u00eei c\u0103 nu mai am \u0163ig\u0103ri. \u015ei cine naiba s\u0103 se duc\u0103 dup\u0103 \u0163ig\u0103ri?
\n\tIo unu\u2019 nu, c\u0103-s f\u0103cut zob d\u0103 oboseal\u0103, d\u0103 abia reu\u015fesc s\u0103 duc chi\u015ftocu\u2019 la gur\u0103. Iar tu bagi somn d\u0103 voie, \u00eenfofolit \u00een plapum\u0103 ca o s\u0103rm\u0103lu\u0163\u0103 \u00een foaia d\u0103 varz\u0103. Foarte frumos. Da\u2019 nici lipsa d\u0103 \u0163ig\u0103ri nu conteaz\u0103, mai ales pentru unu\u2019 ca mine, care s-a n\u0103scut cu chi\u015ftocu\u2019 \u00een gur\u0103 \u015fi a inventat cu succes fumatu\u2019 \u00een rate.
\n\t\u015ei-atunci, ce \u00eengerii mei conteaz\u0103? o s\u0103 \u00eentrebi tu, Dumnezeule, s\u0103tul d\u0103 texte f\u0103r\u0103 rost, cu care \u0163i-am f\u0103cut capu\u2019 calendar d\u0103 c\u00e2nd am ie\u015fit r\u0103cnind p\u0103 poarta cezarianei \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een clipa asta, c\u00e2nd fumez ca bou\u2019 p\u0103 balcon, de\u015fi nu e nimeni s\u0103 m\u0103 oblige la asta. Ceea ce conteaz\u0103, t\u0103ticule – bine, ceea ce conteaz\u0103 acu\u2019, c\u0103 m\u00e2ine diminea\u0163\u0103, \u00een birou\u2019 poli\u0163iei, o s\u0103 conteze altceva, poate faptu\u2019 c\u0103 sc\u0103p\u0103m d\u0103 c\u00e2teva ore d\u0103 munc\u0103 – deci, ceea ce conteaz\u0103 acu\u2019, \u00eei faptu\u2019 c\u0103 mi-e at\u00e2t d\u0103 bine\u2026
\n\t\u00ces bine. Bine m\u00e2ncat, bine b\u0103ut, bine iubit. \u00ces fericit ca un porc care se t\u0103v\u0103le\u015fte \u00een balta lui d\u0103 n\u0103mol, \u015fi-i e r\u0103coare, \u015fi-i g\u00e2dil\u0103 noroiu\u2019 sl\u0103ninile, \u015fi nimic nu poa\u2019 s\u0103-l supere. \u015etiu c\u0103 via\u0163a e penal\u0103, da\u2019 \u2026 nu-mi mai pas\u0103. Mi-e a\u015faaa d\u0103 bine\u2026 nici nu am cuvinte s\u0103 cuprind \u00een ele tot binele din mine.
\n\tDa, m\u0103, boule, da\u2019 a disp\u0103rut m\u0103-ta! o s\u0103 zici tu, sc\u0103rpin\u00e2ndu-\u0163i disperat b\u0103rboiu\u2019 lung \u015fi boreal. A\u015fa e, \u015ftiu asta, m-am dat deja d\u0103 ceasu\u2019 mor\u0163ii \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s-o caut, m-am f\u0103cut luntre \u015fi punte, da\u2019\u2026 n-a fost s\u0103 fie. \u015etiu \u00een sufletu\u2019 meu c\u0103 e bine p\u0103 undeva, c\u0103 o s\u0103 apar\u0103 de p\u0103 undeva, c\u0103-i femeie cu scaun la cap, \u00eentreag\u0103 la minte, nu ca fi-su, \u015fi \u015ftie s\u0103 aib\u0103 grij\u0103 d\u0103 ea. Se va rezolva \u015fi asta cu bine, \u00ees convins sut\u0103 la sut\u0103. Pentru c\u0103 mi-e at\u00e2t d\u0103 minunat d\u0103 bine.
\n\tDa\u2019 ce frumos \u00eei afar\u0103. E o sear\u0103 d-aia mi\u015ftoac\u0103 r\u0103u d\u0103 tot, f\u0103r\u0103 lun\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 stele, f\u0103r\u0103 buleftric\u0103 stradal\u0103. Nimic care s\u0103 boteze \u015fi s\u0103 dilueze \u00eentunericu\u2019 \u0103sta perfect, gros \u015fi negru \u015fi plin d\u0103 ne\u015ftiut\u2026 d\u0103 parc\u0103 am fi cu to\u0163ii \u00een cea\u015fca ta d\u0103 cafea, drag\u0103 Dumnezeule. Ba nu. Uite-l c\u0103 \u00eencepe s\u0103 p\u00e2lp\u00e2ie \u015fi se aprinde. Becu\u2019 d\u0103 p\u0103 dragu\u2019 meu tovar\u0103\u015f de be\u0163ie – st\u00e2lpu\u2019.<\/p>\n

\tCe frumos e pomu\u2019 \u0103sta care ajunge p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een geamu\u2019 nostru. E p\u0103r, da\u2019 n-a apucat, s\u0103racu\u2019, s\u0103-\u015fi vad\u0103 vreo par\u0103 coapt\u0103 din produc\u0163ia proprie. \u00cen momentu\u2019 \u00een care \u00eei ap\u0103reau primele gogoloaie verzi printre frunze, se n\u0103pustea pu\u015ftimea blocului peste el ca o band\u0103 de \u0163igani peste un Mer\u0163an parcat unde nu-i fierbe oala, \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103 nu-l despuiau complet, n-aveau lini\u015fte. P\u0103 scoar\u0163a lui, careva a crestat cu briceagu\u2019 : MONA SUGE PULA, \u015fi, dedesubt, probabil Mona aia, care o fi ea, sau vreun pretin de-al ei, c\u0103-i alt scris, mai mic \u015fi mai ascu\u0163it : BA M\u0102TA \u015eI SORTA FRAERE ! Ce frumos sun\u0103 toate astea, \u00eentr-o sear\u0103 ca asta, cu un chi\u015ftoc ca \u0103sta \u00een gur\u0103, \u015fi cu o fericire ca asta \u00een suflet. Mai \u00eencolo, p\u0103 blocu\u2019 vecin, unu\u2019 mai \u015fcolit \u015fi umblat p\u0103 la americani a pictat cu spray portocaliu : YO MOTHAFUCKAZ!!! MANELE SUX!! peste sprayu\u2019 verde-\u0163ip\u0103tor al altuia, care zicea : ADI DE VITO IZ Z\u0102 BIG\u0102ST. Numa\u2019 c\u0103 s-a \u015fuc\u0103rit administratoru\u2019 d\u0103 bloc p\u0103 to\u0163i talenta\u0163ii \u0103\u015ftia, \u015fi-a pus afi\u015f : CARE M-AI SCRI\u0162-I, PROSTII, S-AU T\u00ceMPENI, P-\u0102 PERE\u0162I, PL\u0102TI\u0162-I 50 RONI AMEND\u0102! \u015ei, bine\u00een\u0163eles, p\u0103 afi\u015f, cu carioca : CEAI FACUT CU FONDU D\u0102 RULMENT B\u0102I FURTI\u015eAGULE UN VECIN JEGM\u0102NIT. H\u0103-h\u0103-h\u0103, r\u00e2d io fericit, ce frumoas\u0103-i via\u0163a asta. Oamenii \u0103\u015ftia simpatici. Ce frumoas\u0103-i strada asta, a\u015fa bolov\u0103noas\u0103 \u015fi pr\u0103p\u0103stioas\u0103, cum ai l\u0103sat-o tu, drag\u0103 Doamne, \u015fi prim\u0103ria noastr\u0103 scump\u0103, care are alte construc\u0163ii p\u0103 cap, \u015fi gurile astea d\u0103 canal care fac \u00abAAA\u00bb d\u0103 parc\u0103 ar avea ro\u015fu \u00een g\u00e2t, da\u2019 prea mult nu poa\u2019 s\u0103 \u00eenghit\u0103, c\u0103 la fiecare ploaie mai ac\u0103t\u0103rii se revars\u0103 \u015fi ne transform\u0103 \u00een sinistra\u0163i – m\u0103 \u00eentreb, c\u00e2nd o \u00eencepe starurile d\u0103 la tevelizor s\u0103 dea \u015fouri d\u0103 binefacere \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eempart\u0103 conserve cu pateu \u015fi sticle d\u0103 \u00abMinunea Izvoarelor\u00bb la noi p\u0103 strad\u0103 ? O s\u0103 apar\u0103 alte lozinci \u015fi afi\u015fe cu fomei frumoase zic\u00e2nd poporului: “SALVA\u0162I SINISTRA\u0162II DE P\u0102 BOLOVANI!” (\u015ei \u00abBOLOVANI\u00bb t\u0103iat cu ro\u015fu\u2019 d\u0103 organu\u2019 d\u0103 sector, \u015fi scris : \u00abSERGENT ION APU\u015eTII, CARE ESTE\u00bb.)
\n\tDa\u2019 iar bat c\u00e2mpii. Ideea e, m\u0103 tat\u0103, c\u0103-s fericit d\u0103 nu-mi mai \u00eencap \u00een piele. Io, robu\u2019 t\u0103u Gic\u0103 Cioc\u0103l\u0103u, \u0103sta care m\u0103 vezi, care niciodat\u0103 n-am crezut \u00een basmele cu oameni s\u0103raci, da\u2019 cinsti\u0163i p\u0103 bune \u015fi amoreza\u0163i lulele, care tr\u0103iau ferici\u0163i \u00eempreun\u0103 \u00eentr-un apartament jerpelit (sau bordei, \u00een varianta d\u0103 la \u0163ar\u0103), f\u0103r\u0103 gresie, faian\u0163\u0103, termopane, teveu cu plasm\u0103 \u015fi conectare la internet f\u0103r\u0103 fir, da\u2019 erau ferici\u0163i pur \u015fi simplu\u2026 nu numai c\u00eend \u015fi-o tr\u0103geau p\u00e2n\u0103 la epuizare, de\u015fi, acu’, \u00eentre noi fie vorba, nici trebu\u015foara asta nu-i rea \u2013 da\u2019\u2026 erau ferici\u0163i s\u0103 fac\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103 tot soiu\u2019 d\u0103 treburi: s\u0103 cure\u0163e cartofi, s\u0103 joace \u00abpopa-prostu\u2019\u00bb, s\u0103 schimbe siguran\u0163e \u015fi nesiguran\u0163e, sau\u2026 S\u0103 tac\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 respire acela\u015fi aer, \u015fi s\u0103 se bucure c\u0103 e unu\u2019 \u015fi acela\u015fi aer, \u015fi c\u0103 tac \u00eempreun\u0103. <\/p>\n

Mai mult<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

B\u0103t\u0103u\u015fu’ de c\u00e2mpi T\u0103iculi\u0163\u0103 drag, Tu, care le \u015ftii p\u0103 toate v\u0103zutele \u015fi nev\u0103zutele, spre deosebire d\u0103 umilu\u2019 robu\u2019 t\u0103u, Gic\u0103 Cioc\u0103l\u0103u, care nu...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2849"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2849\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}