{"id":2854,"date":"2010-11-06T17:38:23","date_gmt":"2010-11-06T14:38:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=2854"},"modified":"2010-11-06T17:38:23","modified_gmt":"2010-11-06T14:38:23","slug":"la-cererea-publicului-the-end","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/la-cererea-publicului-the-end\/","title":{"rendered":"La cererea publicului – the end"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hyde Park <\/strong><\/p>\n

O colaborare cu Dinu Laz\u0103r<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Lamenta\u0163ia unui personaj literar<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2014Credea\u0163i c\u0103 a\u0163i v\u0103zut totul
\n\u00cen materie de prostie omeneasc\u0103?<\/p>\n

Ei bine, nu!
\nUite-m\u0103!<\/p>\n

\u2014Tu fiind un exponent? \u00eentreb\u0103 cineva.
\n\u2014Poate. Dar mai cu seam\u0103, un produs nefericit al acesteia, domnii mei.<\/p>\n

Privi\u0163i-mi m\u00eeinile pline de s\u00eenge.
\nAcum am curmat \u00eentr-un mod s\u00eengeros via\u0163a celui care mi-a dat via\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u2014\u0162i-ai ucis tat\u0103l, criminalule!
\n\u2014Nu.<\/p>\n

Doar autorul.
\nVede\u0163i dumneavoastr\u0103, eu sunt doar un biet personaj literar.
\nAl c\u0103rui autor a plasat \u00eentr-o zi o reclam\u0103 pe Internet.
\n\u201eV\u00eend personaje \u00een urm\u0103toarea mea carte, o sut\u0103 de euro bucata.\u201c
\nNici m\u0103car nu a avut bunul sim\u0163 s\u0103 m\u0103 v\u00eend\u0103 pe lire sterline!<\/p>\n

\u015ei pe mine m-a cump\u0103rat \u00eent\u00eei un prieten al s\u0103u,
\nUnul care \u2013 scuzat\u0103 fie-mi franche\u0163ea,
\nVreau doar s\u0103 ofer o imagine clar\u0103 asupra lucrurilor \u2013
\nSe masturba de diminea\u0163a p\u00een\u0103 seara,
\nDar vroia s\u0103 par\u0103 taur comunal.<\/p>\n

\u015ei chiar \u00een clipa \u00een care nu mai puteam dormi nop\u0163ile
\nDin cauza epuiz\u0103rii generale
\n Dup\u0103 at\u00e2tea eforturi fizice \u2013
\nPentru c\u0103 aparen\u0163a de taur comunal oblig\u0103, s\u0103 \u015fti\u0163i –<\/p>\n

Amicul a renun\u0163at la afacere,
\n\u015ei a refuzat s\u0103 pl\u0103teasc\u0103.
\n\u015ei iat\u0103-m\u0103, dup\u0103 at\u00e2ta suferin\u0163\u0103,
\nPe punctul de a fi eliminat pe motive de neplat\u0103.<\/p>\n

Apoi, a fost contactat de un irlandez gras \u015fi be\u0163iv
\nCu o burt\u0103 ca un butoi de bere
\n– Care credea, naivul, c\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi vinde mai bine berea
\nDac\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi cump\u0103r\u0103 un loc \u00een romanul t\u00een\u0103rului nostru.<\/p>\n

\u015ei m-am pomenit for\u0163at s\u0103 \u00eenghit zilnic
\nLitri \u00eentregi de bere
\nP\u00een\u0103 c\u00eend burta mea a devenit ea \u00eens\u0103\u015fi
\nUn butoi fictiv
\nDar nu mai pu\u0163in dureros.<\/p>\n

Chiar \u00een clipa \u00een care m\u0103 preg\u0103team s\u0103 explodez
\nIrlandezul a dat faliment
\nIar eu, din nou, m-am pomenit pe buza inexisten\u0163ei.<\/p>\n

Apoi, m-a cump\u0103rat Dirty Harry
\nCare avea un club BDSM
\n\u015ei visa la o sclav\u0103 delicat\u0103, supus\u0103, cu pielea de m\u0103tase
\nPe care s-o poat\u0103 biciui \u015fi umili \u00een voie.<\/p>\n

\u015ei iat\u0103-m\u0103 dup\u0103 o opera\u0163ie de schimbare de sex,
\nAbandonat\u0103 \u00een bra\u0163ele unor demen\u0163i,
\nCare inventau zi de zi cele mai \u00eensp\u0103im\u00eent\u0103toare chinuri
\n\u015ei m\u0103 supuneau celor mai atroce torturi
\nG\u0103sindu-\u015fi pl\u0103cerea \u00een fiecare \u0163ip\u0103t pe care nu mi-l puteam re\u0163ine
\n\u00cen fiecare lacrim\u0103 pe care nu o puteam strivi
\nSau \u00eendesa \u00eenapoi…<\/p>\n

Dar pe Dirty Harry l-au prins cei de la Fisc
\nCu ni\u015fte impozite nepl\u0103tite
\n\u015ei a ajuns la \u00eenchisoare.<\/p>\n

\u015ei iat\u0103-m\u0103 din nou \u00een pragul nefiin\u0163ei.<\/p>\n

Iar c\u00eend a sunat din nou telefonul
\n\u015ei la cap\u0103tul cel\u0103lalt al firului se afla un fan al lui Courtney Love
\nCare era dispus s\u0103 pl\u0103teasc\u0103 doar pentru ca diva lui s\u0103 apar\u0103 \u00een carte<\/p>\n

M-am \u00eengrozit at\u00eet de tare de perspectiva de a deveni Courtney Love
\nC\u0103 am luat un bici din recuzita BDSM anterioar\u0103
\nCu care mi-am b\u0103tut autorul p\u00een\u0103 c\u00eend acesta nu s-a mai putut mi\u015fca.<\/p>\n

Apoi i-am turnat pe g\u00eet un butoi de bere irlandez\u0103
\n\u015ei… nu pot s\u0103 v\u0103 spun ce \u2013
\nAvem copii \u00een public.<\/p>\n

\u015ei \u00een cele din urm\u0103, l-am \u00eempu\u015fcat
\nCu arma lui Kurt Cobain.<\/p>\n

Alt sinuciga\u015f, nu? f\u0103cu personajul cu ochiul spre mul\u0163ime
\nApoi se destr\u0103m\u0103 \u00een aer. <\/p>\n

Mai mult<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hyde Park O colaborare cu Dinu Laz\u0103r Lamenta\u0163ia unui personaj literar \u2014Credea\u0163i c\u0103 a\u0163i v\u0103zut totul \u00cen materie de prostie omeneasc\u0103? Ei bine, nu!...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2854"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2854\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}