{"id":28696,"date":"2025-10-24T13:03:22","date_gmt":"2025-10-24T10:03:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=28696"},"modified":"2025-10-24T13:06:15","modified_gmt":"2025-10-24T10:06:15","slug":"programul-electoral-al-ancai-alexandrescu-pentru-primaria-bucuresti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/programul-electoral-al-ancai-alexandrescu-pentru-primaria-bucuresti\/","title":{"rendered":"Programul electoral al Anc\u0103i Alexandrescu pentru prim\u0103ria Bucure\u015fti"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Disclaimer: Acest text e o satir\u0103 \u015fi nu reflect\u0103 adev\u0103rul situa\u0163iei. E scris exclusiv pentru r\u00e2sete \u015fi r\u00e2\u015fi carpatini. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Toate \u015fcolile \u00ee\u015fi vor \u00eencepe programul de predare cu interpretarea \u00een cor a melodiei \u201eNoi suntem rom\u00e2ni\u201d. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pentru ca livratorii de pizza nepalezi s\u0103 nu uite cine d\u0103 cu pumnul \u00een mas\u0103 – \u0219i periodic \u00een cet\u0103\u021bean – aici. Sau renun\u021bi la numele Akash \u0219i te redenume\u0219ti Aura\u0219, sau te \u00eentorci la tine \u00een Ciuciunghezia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Slujba de la biseric\u0103 devine obligatorie pentru toat\u0103 lumea. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Da, \u0219i evident prin biseric\u0103 \u00een\u021belegem ortodoxie feroce. Restul bisericilor, moscheilor \u0219i sinagogilor din Bucure\u0219ti trec automat \u00een patrimoniul BOR \u0219i se sfin\u021besc conform standardelor. Fiecare biseric\u0103 prime\u0219te un app numit Condica Credin\u021bei, unde confirmi cu amprenta c\u0103 ai participat la slujb\u0103, la \u00eenceput \u0219i la final (s\u0103 nu-\u021bi vin\u0103 ideea s\u0103 o iei la s\u0103n\u0103toasa dup\u0103 ce te-ai legitimat de diminea\u021b\u0103). La trei absen\u021be, \u00ee\u021bi retragem buletinul de Bucure\u0219ti \u0219i \u00eel \u00eenlocuim cu unul din Aduna\u021bii Cop\u0103ceni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Siteurile pentru adul\u021bi, banate pe tot Bucure\u0219tiul.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cet\u0103\u021beanul trebuie s\u0103 renun\u021be s\u0103 mai consume imagini murdare. Dac\u0103 simte neap\u0103rat s\u0103 dea o m\u00e2n\u0103 de ajutor propriului organism, are la dispozi\u021bie icoana prim\u0103ri\u021bei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Autobuzele obligatoriu decorate cu \u0219tergare cu motive populare. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nimic nu \u00ee\u021bi asigur\u0103 o c\u0103l\u0103torie pl\u0103cut\u0103 ca sentimentul apropierii de glie, patrie \u0219i neam. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. De Cr\u0103ciun \u0219i Revelion, ora\u0219ul s\u0103 fie decorat cu coceni de porumb, m\u0103\u0219ti de capr\u0103, urs, mo\u0219 \u0219i bab\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Noi nu punem globuri occidentale decadente \u0219i progresiste, noi \u021binem de tradi\u021bie ca iepurele de morcov. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Uniforma obligatorie \u00een institu\u021biile de stat e costumul popular. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sau reprezin\u021bi Rom\u00e2nia cu ce are ea mai sacru \u0219i mai original, sau lucrezi la privat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Toate statuile din Bucure\u0219ti primesc obligatoriu cu\u0219m\u0103 \u00een cap. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Indiferent ce personalitate ai fi, \u00een primul r\u00e2nd e\u0219ti fiul \u021b\u0103rii care te-a n\u0103scut \u0219i \u021bi-a dat \u021b\u00e2\u021b\u0103 rom\u00e2neasc\u0103 neao\u0219\u0103. \u0218i pentru c\u0103 toate astea at\u00e2rn\u0103 deasupra capului t\u0103u ca sabia lui Damocles, li s-a zis cu\u0219m\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Se \u00eenchid toate spitalele. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Conform spuselor pre\u0219edintelui nostru ales C\u0103lin Georgescu, medicina nu exist\u0103, to\u021bi \u0219tim mai bine ce avem dec\u00e2t medicul. Se vor \u00eenlocui spitalele cu izvoare de aer de munte, special furnizat de pe Transf\u0103g\u0103\u0219an, care \u00een capital\u0103 va fi redenumit Heterof\u0103g\u0103r\u0103\u0219an, c\u0103 nu ne f*tem \u00een c*r b\u0103rbat cu b\u0103rbat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Se \u00eenlocuiesc autostradele cu uli\u021be. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nimic nu e mai autentic rom\u00e2nesc ca o strad\u0103 de pietri\u0219 \u0219i nisip. Asfaltul e inven\u021bia satanei \u0219i trebuie \u00eenl\u0103turat cu orice pre\u021b. \u00cen plus, e \u0219i foarte p\u0103gubos \u0219i se crap\u0103 des. A\u021bi v\u0103zut voi uli\u021be cu gropi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Realitatea obligatorie peste tot. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Orice sediu, fie el de firm\u0103 sau institu\u021bie, va trebui dotat cu plasm\u0103 pe perete, care s\u0103 difuzeze exclusiv Realitatea TV, singura televiziune a poporului. Dac\u0103 se constat\u0103 absen\u021ba sau se mut\u0103 pe un post satanist cum ar fi ptiu, ucig\u0103-l toaca, Digi24, se retrage instant autoriza\u021bia de func\u021bionare \u0219i se aduce pop\u0103 s\u0103 sfin\u021beasc\u0103 locul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vota\u021bi Anca Alexandrescu, pentru un Bucure\u0219ti mai rom\u00e2n ca niciodat\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 \u021bi-a pl\u0103cut articolul, arat\u0103-\u021bi sus\u021binerea cu o dona\u021bie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da follow pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Disclaimer: Acest text e o satir\u0103 \u015fi nu reflect\u0103 adev\u0103rul situa\u0163iei. E scris exclusiv pentru r\u00e2sete \u015fi r\u00e2\u015fi carpatini. 1. Toate \u015fcolile \u00ee\u015fi vor...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":28697,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/Cine-este-Anca-Alexandrescu.-Biografia-prezentatoarei-TV-cariera-familie-copii-1024x683-1.jpg?fit=1024%2C683&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28696"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28696\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28699,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28696\/revisions\/28699"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28697"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}