Dar, pentru c\u0103 vreau s\u0103 m\u0103 vindec de aceast\u0103 rela\u021bie profund disfunc\u021bional\u0103, voi face un exerci\u021biu recomandat de terapeut: \u00een inten\u021bia de a face pace cu ea \u00een sufletul meu, \u00eei voi enumera calit\u0103\u021bile. Nu pe cele pe care le-a exersat asupra mea – ok, hai \u0219i pe acelea: dac\u0103 o descoperea Putin la timp, ar fi fost team leader \u00een Sankt Petersburg, la ferma de trolli. Ci pe cele pe care le avea, independent de rela\u021bia noastr\u0103 reciproc \u00eengrozitoare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A fost o femeie foarte inteligent\u0103. Inteligent\u0103, cult\u0103, citit\u0103. Lectura era pasiunea ei. Acas\u0103, am o bibliotec\u0103 c\u00e2t un perete \u00eentreg, mo\u0219tenit\u0103 de la ea. Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 citesc de mic copil pentru c\u0103 eram \u00eenconjurat\u0103 de c\u0103r\u021bi \u0219i pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 refugiam \u00een universuri imaginare de brutalitatea universului real. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A fost o femeie frumoas\u0103. Eu sem\u0103n mai degrab\u0103 cu taic\u0103-miu, sunt frumoas\u0103 cu mult, mult ajutor din partea cosmeticii, dar mama chiar era frumoas\u0103. Chit c\u0103 s-a neglijat \u0219i la 40 de ani pierduse deja mare parte din aceast\u0103 calitate. Din nou, asta m-a motivat s\u0103 fac tot posibilul s\u0103-mi conserv \u0219i s\u0103-mi \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021besc aspectul fizic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A fost ambi\u021bioas\u0103. A urcat destul de mult \u00een ierarhia \u00centreprinderii de Subansamble Auto din Sf. Gheorghe. Ce o bloca, desigur, era condi\u021bia de femeie \u00eentr-o Rom\u00e2nie misogin\u0103 \u0219i discriminatorie. \u0218i \u00ee\u0219i aducea acas\u0103 frustr\u0103rile \u0219i le r\u0103zbuna pe \u021bapul isp\u0103\u0219itor. Care eram eu. Asta m-a \u0219i f\u0103cut s\u0103 nu vreau s\u0103 am copii. \u00cemi ies bube numai la g\u00e2ndul c\u0103 a\u0219 putea perpetua o astfel de traum\u0103. Dar da, la munc\u0103 a avut autoritate \u0219i salariu bun – p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een momentul \u00een care Subansamble Auto a \u00eenceput s\u0103 disponibilizeze personal, \u0219i de la un punct \u00eencolo, \u00een c\u0103dere liber\u0103, au disponibilizat-o \u0219i pe ea. \u0218i probabil c\u0103 asta a fost o tragedie la fel de mare precum divor\u021bul, pentru c\u0103 n-a mai g\u0103sit joburi la fel de p*zdoase ulterior. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pe mine, experien\u021bele astea m-au \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 nu m\u0103 investesc prea mult \u00een rela\u021bii care nu merit\u0103 – \u0219i din cum se purta taic\u0103-miu cu ea, mie la 4 ani \u00eemi era clar c\u0103 nu merit\u0103. \u00cemi ziceam c\u0103 eu m-a\u0219 desp\u0103r\u021bi de unul ca \u0103sta m\u00e2ine. Insist: aveam 4 ani. \u0218i s\u0103 nu m\u0103 investesc prea mult \u00een joburi care nu merit\u0103. \u00cemi e at\u00e2t de u\u0219or s\u0103 plec pentru c\u0103 am avut un exemplu \u00een copil\u0103rie care s\u0103-mi arate c\u00e2t de mult pierzi crampon\u00e2ndu-te de ceea ce nu merit\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Practic, cele mai valoroase lec\u021bii de via\u021b\u0103 le-am primit tot de la maic\u0103-mea, chiar dac\u0103 sub form\u0103 de \u201da\u0219a nu\u201d. Dac\u0103 nu asistam la rela\u021bia ei cu taic\u0103-miu, poate azi at\u00e2rnam \u0219i eu de un gicu indiferent, cer\u0219indu-i iubirea inexistent\u0103. Dac\u0103 nu asistam la cum deriva autoritate strict din rahatul \u0103la de job, \u00eemi f\u0103ceam \u0219i eu titlu de fal\u0103 din func\u021bia cutare \u00een businessul cutare. A\u0219a, tot ce afi\u0219ez public e Lorena Lupu, influencerul. Pot veni \u0219i pleca \u00een orice companie privat\u0103 – Lorena Lupu, influencerul e ceva creat de mine \u0219i nu-mi poate lua nimeni. Dac\u0103 nu asistam la blocajul ei \u00een trecut, c\u00e2nd mi se v\u0103ic\u0103rea tot de comportamentul lui taic\u0103-miu din timpul c\u0103s\u0103torie, de\u0219i trecuser\u0103 25 de ani de la divor\u021b – poate m\u0103 blocam \u0219i eu \u00een regretul vreunui p*l\u0103r\u0103u. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\u0219a, m-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 \u021bin aten\u021bia concentrat\u0103 pe prezent. C\u0103 dac\u0103 nu, uite cum \u00ee\u021bi irose\u0219ti via\u021ba v\u0103ic\u0103rindu-te. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218i m-a mai \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat un lucru, tot prin puterea exemplului personal: dac\u0103 nu ai urm\u0103 de m\u0103micie \u00een tine, e perfect \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 nu faci copii. \u00cen loc s\u0103 aduci pe lume fiin\u021be care nu au cerut s\u0103 se nasc\u0103, s\u0103 le pedepse\u0219ti nonstop c\u0103 exist\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 te pl\u00e2ngi \u00een st\u00e2nga \u0219i \u00een dreapta c\u00e2t e de greu s\u0103 fii mam\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218i lipsa ei de sprijin m-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 m\u0103 descurc. C\u00e2nd nu ai plas\u0103 de siguran\u021b\u0103, nu ai timp de ezit\u0103ri \u0219i de stai s\u0103 vedem. Sari \u0219i aterizezi \u00een picioare, sau mori. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cum se vede, am aterizat \u00een picioare. Poate c\u0103 nu \u00eenv\u0103\u021bam asta, dac\u0103 aveam al\u0103turi pe cineva mai grijuliu \u0219i mai iubitor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Realitatea e c\u0103 nep\u0103sarea ei m-a ajutat s\u0103-mi formez calit\u0103\u021bile de care sunt cea mai m\u00e2ndr\u0103. \u0218i da, \u00een virtutea acestei revela\u021bii, pot \u00eencepe s\u0103 fac pace cu toate amintirile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mul\u021bumesc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
***<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ce\u021bi place s\u0103 cite\u0219ti aceste articole? Po\u021bi ajuta \u00een mod direct la scrierea lor. Iat\u0103 cum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da follow pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Mama s-a n\u0103scut \u00een ziua de dup\u0103 Ceau\u0219escu. Pe c\u00e2nd eram copii, eu \u0219i fratele meu aveam c\u00e2teva glume legate de asta. E primul...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":24463,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/flowers.jpg?fit=640%2C427&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29070","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29070"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29070\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29075,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29070\/revisions\/29075"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24463"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29070"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29070"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29070"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/paypal-.jpg?w=700&ssl=1\")
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