{"id":29117,"date":"2026-02-09T12:46:16","date_gmt":"2026-02-09T09:46:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=29117"},"modified":"2026-02-09T12:46:19","modified_gmt":"2026-02-09T09:46:19","slug":"adevarul-e-ca-mamele-singure-nu-stiu-sa-creasca-baieti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/adevarul-e-ca-mamele-singure-nu-stiu-sa-creasca-baieti\/","title":{"rendered":"Adev\u0103rul e c\u0103 mamele singure nu \u0219tiu s\u0103 creasc\u0103 b\u0103ie\u021bi"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ieri seara, a intrat \u00een vorb\u0103 cu mine un antifeminist. Spre deosebire de al\u021bi antifemini\u0219ti, care recurg la retorica \u201dtoate sunte\u021bi pr0aste \u0219i c00rve\u201d \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i iau block instant, antifeministul de ieri mi s-a pl\u00e2ns de maic\u0103-sa. C\u0103 l-a crescut singur\u0103, \u0219i a fost excesiv de autoritar\u0103 \u0219i de abuziv\u0103. O discu\u021bie f\u0103r\u0103 injurii \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 atacuri? OK, bag\u0103. \u0218i a zis, iar eu am citit ce a zis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aici, remarc\u0103m \u0219i ceea ce am remarcat \u00een cazul propriei mele mame: da, a fost excesiv de autoritar\u0103 \u0219i de abuziv\u0103, dar ea m\u0103car A FOST ACOLO. Taic\u0103-tu, exact ca taic\u0103-miu, a dat de greul condi\u021biei de p\u0103rinte \u0219i a u\u0219chit-o s\u0103 copil\u0103reasc\u0103 din nou. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0102sta e, am constatat recent la terapie, unul din motivele pentru care nu vreau copii. Spaima neasumat\u0103 c\u0103 voi nimeri pe unul ca taic\u0103-miu, s\u0103 m\u0103 lase cu povara integral\u0103 pe cap. OK, fair point, I take it. \u0218i da, e un motiv solid \u0219i valid. E frustrant s\u0103 fii fraiera care \u00ee\u0219i ordoneaz\u0103 via\u021ba \u00een jurul copiilor, \u00een timp ce gigel pune palma-n cur \u0219i e din nou adolescent \u00eent\u00e2rziat, \u0219i uneori se zg\u00e2rce\u0219te \u0219i la plata aloca\u021biei. Un lucru pe care \u0219tiu sigur c\u0103 nu-l vreau e destinul de mam\u0103 singur\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Motivele mele incon\u0219tiente sunt la fel de rezonabile \u0219i de ra\u021bionale ca acelea asumate, iubesc asta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prin urmare, nu feminismul e de vin\u0103 pentru copil\u0103riile noastre ratate \u0219i mamele noastre r\u0103nite care \u00ee\u0219i urlau frustr\u0103rile la noi, ci pieile pwlii de ta\u021bi incapabili s\u0103 fie ta\u021bi. Chit c\u0103 – nu e frumos din partea mea – la maturitate am comunicat mult mai bine cu taic\u0103-miu, dec\u00e2t cu maic\u0103-mea. E \u0219i firesc. Taic\u0103-miu a gol\u0103nit c\u00e2t a vrut, nu a acumulat frustr\u0103ri, nu \u0219i-a refuzat berica de sear\u0103 c\u0103 avea copilul nevoie de caiete dictando \u0219i bloc de desen, el nu avea dec\u00e2t scuze de cerut. E extrem de u\u0219or s\u0103 redevenim prieteni c\u00e2nd tu ai doar scuze de cerut. Mai greu c\u00e2nd tu ai ranchiun\u0103 pe mine c\u0103 am fost povara care \u021bi-a tufut tinere\u021bea. \u0218i la final, am tupeul s\u0103 vreau o via\u021b\u0103 de sine st\u0103t\u0103toare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unde i-am dat dreptate antifeministului este un punct: mamele singure nu \u0219tiu s\u0103 creasc\u0103 b\u0103ie\u021bi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Excep\u021biile merit\u0103 tot respectul. Dar, din c\u00e2te am observat, erorile se duc, majoritar, \u00een trei direc\u021bii: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) Mama sugativ\u0103<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

E genul de mam\u0103 care \u00ee\u0219i concentreaz\u0103 pe fiu toat\u0103 afec\u021biunea de dup\u0103 dispari\u021bia tat\u0103lui. Lugu-lugu toat\u0103 ziua, mic dejun la pat, eu sunt prietena ta cea mai bun\u0103, love-love-love, mama ta trebuie s\u0103 \u0219tie totul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rezultatul? B\u0103ie\u021bii respectivi r\u0103m\u00e2n toat\u0103 via\u021ba \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie amoroas\u0103 platonic\u0103 cu mamele lor. Nu pot avea vie\u021bi adulte de sine st\u0103t\u0103toare, c\u0103 one man showul M\u0103mica ruleaz\u0103 24 \/ 7, cam ca Truman Show. Adeseori \u00eei g\u0103se\u0219ti la 40 de ani locuind tot acas\u0103, servi\u021bi pe tav\u0103 de m\u0103mica \u0219i pl\u00e2ng\u00e2ndu-se c\u0103 femeile din ziua de azi sunt toate pr0aste \u0219i c00rve, c\u0103 niciuna nu e dispus\u0103 s\u0103 fie slug\u0103 moca la schimb cu zero efort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

b) Mama Hitler <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

E genul de mam\u0103 care conduce prin intimidare. \u00cen ochii min\u021bii vede nonstop filme \u00een care tu te prostituezi anal \u0219i prizezi cocain\u0103, \u0219i atunci, instituie asupra ta un control violent, cu palme peste bot \u0219i urlete din nimic. \u0218i nu to\u021bi au puterea interioar\u0103 pe care am avut-o eu, s\u0103 plec naibii din acest aranjament \u00eengrozitor la 18 ani. Mul\u021bi, \u00een special b\u0103ie\u021bi, r\u0103m\u00e2n bloca\u021bi \u00een copil\u0103ria lor abuzat\u0103, ca Norman Bates \u00een Psycho<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

c) Mama cool. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

E genul de mam\u0103 care nu vrea s\u0103 fie ca celelalte mame nebune \u0219i isterice. \u0218i atunci, \u00eenchide ochii c\u00e2nd fi-su trage pe nas acas\u0103, sau \u00ee\u0219i aduce ga\u0219ca de dependen\u021bi de jocuri de noroc, \u0219i nu \u00ee\u0219i revine nici c\u00e2nd ajunge pe drumuri, c\u0103 fi-su a v\u00e2ndut casa fie s\u0103 cumpere droguri, fie s\u0103 bage la p\u0103c\u0103nele. Genul de m\u0103mic\u0103 iubitoare care, atunci c\u00e2nd fi-su \u0219i al\u021bi \u0219ase h\u0103ndr\u0103l\u0103i abuzeaz\u0103 \u00een grup o elev\u0103 la Vaslui, se duce la poli\u021bie s\u0103 declare c\u0103 feti\u021ba respectiv\u0103 e \u201dc00rv\u0103\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Realitatea e c\u0103 unul dintre pu\u021binele medicamente la bull$h!tul unui adolescent e autoritatea unui tat\u0103. Care-i spune calm: Fiule, e\u0219ti un idiot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aceste cuvinte \u0219i tonul calm pe care sunt rostite lovesc ad\u00e2nc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Problema e c\u0103 \u0219i ta\u021bii de acest tip sunt at\u00e2t de rari, \u00eenc\u00e2t, dac\u0103 toate mamele singure s-ar fi ab\u021binut de la reproducere, r\u0103m\u00e2nea Rom\u00e2nia nepopulat\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar am o veste bun\u0103, pe care i-am spus-o \u0219i antifeministului: boss, de la 18 ani \u00een sus, e\u0219ti legal pe c**ul t\u0103u. Dac\u0103 vrei o via\u021b\u0103 nou\u0103, po\u021bi \u00eencepe s\u0103 lucrezi la ea chiar azi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu mai pierde timp \u00eenvinuind-o pe m\u0103-ta \u0219i feminismul. Ia tot acest timp, investe\u0219te-l \u00een tine, caut\u0103 un job mai bun, o misiune cu sens, f\u0103 bani, adun\u0103-te, \u0219i vezi un psiholog. Tr\u0103ie\u0219te. \u0218i c\u00e2nd tr\u0103ie\u0219ti, brusc m\u0103-ta \u0219i feminismul \u00eenceteaz\u0103 s\u0103 mai fie problemele cov\u00e2r\u0219itoare ale vie\u021bii tale. Dimpotriv\u0103: c\u00e2nd tr\u0103ie\u0219ti, cape\u021bi un vibe de om responsabil, cu toate \u021biglele pe cas\u0103, care e mai atractiv pentru femei dec\u00e2t zece mii de declara\u021bii de dragoste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ce\u021bi place s\u0103 cite\u0219ti aceste articole? Po\u021bi ajuta \u00een mod direct la scrierea lor. Iat\u0103 cum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da follow pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi pe TikTok<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ieri seara, a intrat \u00een vorb\u0103 cu mine un antifeminist. Spre deosebire de al\u021bi antifemini\u0219ti, care recurg la retorica \u201dtoate sunte\u021bi pr0aste \u0219i c00rve\u201d...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14804,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/mom-e1524466320351.jpg?fit=519%2C343&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29117"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29117\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29122,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29117\/revisions\/29122"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14804"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}