{"id":2912,"date":"2010-11-16T14:16:58","date_gmt":"2010-11-16T11:16:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=2912"},"modified":"2010-11-16T14:16:58","modified_gmt":"2010-11-16T11:16:58","slug":"menage-a-trois","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/menage-a-trois\/","title":{"rendered":"Menage a trois"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ne extindem, dragi tovar\u0103\u015fi. E pl\u0103cerea mea s\u0103 vi-l introduc pe cel de-al treilea glume\u0163 care v\u0103 va \u00eentre\u0163ine pe acest blog, z\u0103 big and mighty aritsch. Care arat\u0103 a\u015fa:<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.freakingnews.com\/pictures\/49500\/Hedgehog-Ride-49647.jpg?resize=514%2C459\" class=\"alignnone\" width=\"514\" height=\"459\" \/><\/p>\n<p>\u015ei iat\u0103 ce p\u0103reri are despre lume, via\u0163\u0103 \u015fi m\u0103m\u0103lig\u0103:<\/p>\n<p>Sec\u0163ia vesel\u0103: Drag\u0103 aritsch, de unde te-am adunat pentru blogul nostru?<br \/>\nAritsch: Ne-am cunoscut \u00een zorii social mediei, c\u00e2nd ne hiperventilam la auzul acelora\u015fi triluri antifolk.<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia vesel\u0103: Ha?<br \/>\nAritsch: Nu m\u0103 \u00eentrebai de unde ne cunoa\u015ftem?<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia vesel\u0103: Ba da, dar exprimarea ta ambigu\u0103 m\u0103 face s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleg c\u0103 sau eu sau tu eram foarte be\u0163i pe atunci.<br \/>\nAritsch: Bun\u0103 ziua, sunt de pe internet!<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia vesel\u0103: A, bun, a\u015fa e mai clar. C\u00e2t bei \u00eentr-o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 normal\u0103?<br \/>\nAritsch: Nu prea am s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni normale, dar c\u00e2nd mai p\u0103\u0163esc le sp\u0103l cu 2-3 (baxuri de, n. r.) beri, ca s\u0103 treac\u0103.<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia vesel\u0103: Ok. C\u00e2t este de important\u0103 muzica clasic\u0103 pentru tine?<br \/>\nAritsch: Este motivul pentru care m\u0103 trezesc diminea\u0163a. \u015ei rog vecinul s-o dea mai \u00eencet<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: Serios? Vecinul t\u0103u d\u0103 Mozart la tot cartierul?<br \/>\nAritsch: Da, iar de la \u0103la de deasupra ascult Handel \u00een fiecare diminea\u0163\u0103.<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: Oh, ce via\u0163\u0103. S\u0103 fii f\u0103cut\u0103 sandvi\u015f \u00eentre Mozart \u015fi Handel. Unii au pur \u015fi simplu noroc \u00een via\u0163\u0103! E adev\u0103rat c\u0103 ai avut o poveste de dragoste cu Colin Farrell, dup\u0103 cum au scris tabloidele?<br \/>\nAritsch: mai degrab\u0103 o epigram\u0103, \u015ftii cum e cu be\u0163ivii \u0103\u015ftia&#8230;<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: O epigram\u0103? Ce este aceea?<br \/>\nAritsch: Este scurt\u0103, o termini din 4 r\u0103sufl\u0103ri, iar finalul este o glum\u0103.<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: Deci nu se deosebeste cu nimic de sexul oral. C\u00e2n\u0163i la vreun instrument de suflat?<br \/>\nAritsch: M-am chinuit c\u00e2\u0163iva ani din tinere\u0163e \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u0163 muzicu\u0163\u0103. N-am reu\u015fit mai mult de c\u00e2teva mugete anemice, \u00een schimb c\u00e2\u015ftig deta\u015fat orice concurs de m\u00e2ncat porumb &#8211; vitez\u0103.<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: \u00ce\u0163i place m\u0103m\u0103liga?<br \/>\nAritsch: \u00cemi place c\u0103 e singura m\u00e2ncare din lume pe care cineva s-a g\u00e2ndit vreodat\u0103 s-o taie cu a\u0163a. Oare \u015fi a\u0163a se poate t\u0103ia cu m\u0103m\u0103lig\u0103?<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: Da, am un prieten croitor care a cump\u0103rat recent un nou set de m\u0103m\u0103ligi pentru a-\u015fi ajusta a\u0163a. Ce sporturi practici?<br \/>\nAritsch: S\u0103ritul gardului ca s\u0103-mi adun pisicile din gr\u0103din\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd cad ca blegele de la geam.<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: Aoleu! Dar ce consum\u0103 pisicile tale?<br \/>\nAritsch: Timp, bani, aten\u0163ie, iubire, vlag\u0103 \u015fi uneori dorin\u0163a mea de a tr\u0103i.<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: Ce nehalite, frate! \u015ei ce dau la schimb?<br \/>\nAritsch: La schimb se asigur\u0103 c\u0103 nu adorm niciodat\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 guler de pisici, c\u0103 nu m\u0103 trezesc niciodat\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 pisici pe fa\u0163\u0103, c\u0103 nu am niciodat\u0103 pielea intact\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103 \u00een orice rela\u0163ie a\u015f avea exist\u0103 doza necesar\u0103 de gelozie \u015fi &#8220;da&#8217; cu mine de ce nu e\u015fti a\u015fa afectuoas\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103??!&#8221;<br \/>\nSec\u0163ia Vesel\u0103: Oh, well, oamenii \u0103\u015ftia care nu pricep c\u0103 nu au nici o \u015fans\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163a unei pisici catifelate. S\u0103 \u00eencheiem \u00een registrul grav: Ce planuri de viitor ai?<br \/>\nAritsch: Un aritsch adev\u0103rat \u00ee\u015fi \u0163ine planurile ascunse. C\u0103cat, nu le mai g\u0103sesc.<\/p>\n<p>Ladies and gentlemen, meet &amp; greet the one and only aritsch. Va posta c\u00e2t de cur\u00e2nd, acum are pu\u0163in\u0103 treab\u0103, \u00ee\u015fi \u00eempodobe\u015fte \u0163epii cu cristale Jvarovschi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ne extindem, dragi tovar\u0103\u015fi. E pl\u0103cerea mea s\u0103 vi-l introduc pe cel de-al treilea glume\u0163 care v\u0103 va \u00eentre\u0163ine pe acest blog, z\u0103 big&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2912","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2912","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2912"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2912\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}