\u00cen postarea anterioar\u0103, aritsch – care e o diafan\u0103 f\u0103ptur\u0103 blond\u0103, cu f\u0103\u0163uc\u0103 de Macaulay Culkin \u00een seria “Homolon” (a\u015fa \u00eei zic b\u0103etzii din fa\u0163a blocului meu), v\u0103 explica faptul c\u0103 nu e un ghiocel, dar, datorit\u0103 look-ului, to\u0163i o trateaz\u0103 ca pe unul.<\/p>\n
Eu v\u0103 voi prezenta reversul medaliei. Care e cel pu\u0163in la fel de frustrant.<\/p>\n
Mi-au crescut s\u00e2nii \u00eenc\u0103 de la 10 ani. Iar la 10 ani, oric\u00e2t ar purta la sutien, o feti\u0163\u0103 e o feti\u0163\u0103 – sau, m\u0103 rog, \u00een 89′ a\u015fa era, nu aveam pornografie gratuit\u0103 pe Internet iar violurile din “R\u0103scoala” de Liviu Rebreanu sau cel din “Germinalul” lui Zola m\u0103 oripilaser\u0103 (le citisem devreme, special pentru c\u0103 mi le interzisese mama, iar eu nu am fost niciodat\u0103 omul care s\u0103-\u0163i ierte o tentativ\u0103 de a-i impune sau de a-i interzice ceva. Adaug\u0103 unui astfel de copil o mam\u0103 care s\u0103 adore s\u0103-\u015fi exercite autoritatea cu argumentul forte: “Asta-i casa mea \u015fi faci ce zic eu!” \u015fi ai deja premisele unui perpetuu r\u0103zboi de familie. Dar, m\u0103 rog, s\u0103 trecem peste asta.)<\/p>\n
OK, ideea e c\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 ar\u0103t a pizd\u0103 de pe la 10 ani. C\u00e2nd \u00een mintea mea nu exista nimic sexual. De aceea, toate “provoc\u0103rile” masculine mi se p\u0103reau penibile \u015fi iritante. Bun, adev\u0103rul e c\u0103 60% dintre b\u0103rba\u0163i nici nu cunosc arta de a provoca inteligent. \u015ei aici nu m\u0103 refer doar la s\u0103m\u00e2n\u0163ari, a c\u0103ror condi\u0163ie le scuz\u0103 mijloacele, m\u0103 refer inclusiv la arti\u015fti \u015fi intelectuali pe care un penis erect \u00eei transform\u0103 \u00een retarzi penibili. Acum, faptul c\u0103 ei devin retarzi penibili mi se pare amuzant. Pe atunci, mi se p\u0103rea ceva murder-worthy.<\/p>\n
I-am ur\u00e2t pe b\u0103ie\u0163eii care m-au tras de codi\u0163e, i-am ur\u00e2t pe golanii din fa\u0163a blocului care f\u0103ceau concurs de mameleal\u0103, i-am ur\u00e2t pe golanii de prin cafenele care \u00eencercau s\u0103 o ard\u0103 superior cu mine, p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eei f\u0103ceam KO din dou\u0103 fraze, apoi prindeau brusc ur\u0103. Nu m-a interesat niciodat\u0103 genul \u0103sta de r\u0103zboi al sexelor, de aceea am c\u0103utat s\u0103 \u00eel evit c\u00e2t pot, dar niciodat\u0103 nu am reu\u015fit. La 20 de ani \u00eemi doream cu ardoare s\u0103 fiu de 45, s\u0103 m\u0103 lase odat\u0103 pulimea \u00een pace.<\/p>\n
A\u015fa am ajuns s\u0103 ies cu prima fat\u0103. Mai bun\u0103 la capitolul intui\u0163ie, m-a “mirosit” \u015fi a sim\u0163it c\u0103 nu aveam nevoie de futai la icre (de \u0103la aveam deja parte din toate direc\u0163iile) ci de protec\u0163ie. It was a “sure win”. De aceea primul meu roman vorbe\u015fte despre o femeie – pentru c\u0103 femeile m-au ajutat s\u0103 descop\u0103r latura pl\u0103cut\u0103 a sexului. Intimitatea, tandre\u0163ea, senzualitatea. Dac\u0103 nu ar fi fost primele 4-5 femei din via\u0163a mea, cred c\u0103 a\u015f fi fost virgin\u0103 \u015fi acum. Nu din lesbianism, ci din pur\u0103 nevoie de spa\u0163iu.<\/p>\n
De aceea, drag\u0103 aritsch pogonitsch, bucur\u0103-te c\u0103 e\u015fti fata care inspir\u0103 protec\u0163ie, nu cea care inspir\u0103 t\u0103v\u0103leal\u0103 chiar atunci c\u00e2nd nu-\u015fi dore\u015fte asta. E infinit mai na\u015fpa. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00cen postarea anterioar\u0103, aritsch – care e o diafan\u0103 f\u0103ptur\u0103 blond\u0103, cu f\u0103\u0163uc\u0103 de Macaulay Culkin \u00een seria “Homolon” (a\u015fa \u00eei zic b\u0103etzii din...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2924","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2924"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2924\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}