{"id":3060,"date":"2010-12-18T02:33:15","date_gmt":"2010-12-17T23:33:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=3060"},"modified":"2010-12-18T02:33:15","modified_gmt":"2010-12-17T23:33:15","slug":"stai-ler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/stai-ler\/","title":{"rendered":"Stai ler!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p lang=\"ro-RO\"><strong>Salut, sunt Ostap Bender \u0219i am fost abuzat de mic.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Io de c\u00e2nd m-am n\u0103scut \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een ziua de azi am fost futut. \u00cen urechi.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Prima dat\u0103 m-a avut o t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 educatoare care c\u00e2nta la chitar\u0103 c\u00e2nd eram la gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103. C\u00e2ntecele pentru copii, cu iepura\u0219i cocona\u0219i \u0219i alte popon\u0103rii. Ba mai mult, ne zicea s\u0103 d\u0103m din fundule\u021b pe muzica ei de c\u0103cat. Cum pu\u021ba mea, m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam io atunci, s\u0103 dau io din fundule\u021b dac\u0103-s b\u0103iat?<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Atunci a fost momentul c\u00e2nd am inceput sa ur\u0103sc omul care umbl\u0103 singur cu o chitar\u0103.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Fere\u0219te-te de omul singur cu chitar\u0103!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">A urmat perioada de tabere sau alte reuniuni de copii \u00een care nu am fost sl\u0103bit de omul cu chitar\u0103 nici m\u0103car o clip\u0103. Ba un student, ba o domni\u015foar\u0103 b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103, ba un simplu t\u00e2n\u0103r f\u0103r\u0103 serviciu dar cu ochelari au \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi violenteze urechile \u015fi s\u0103-mi decoloreze visele frumoase de copil. Deja se trecuse la c\u00e2ntece cu haiduci \u015fi alte popon\u0103rii cu andri popa care trece r\u00e2ul la bustul gol \u015fi \u00eentreab\u0103 unde-s pistoalele \u015fi unde-s pumnalele.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Fere\u0219te-te de omul singur cu chitar\u0103!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Mai t\u00e2rziu au venit folki\u015ftii. \u00centotdeauna \u00eempreun\u0103 dar \u00eentotdeauna singuri. Mi-au masacrat urechile, deja ferfeni\u0163\u0103, cu melodii de dragoste gen  nebun de alb, asear\u0103 am ucis o vrabie, am tras cu pra\u015ftia \u00een ea \u015fi alte popon\u0103rii cu preten\u0163ii de metafore \u015fi c\u0103cat.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Fere\u0219te-te de omul singur cu chitar\u0103!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Urechile mele greu \u00eencercate au ajuns la cea mai mare suferin\u0163\u0103 c\u00e2nd, \u00een studen\u0163ie, pe langa folki\u015ftii care \u00eenc\u0103 le violau n\u0103praznic, au fost nevoite s\u0103 asculte a\u015fa zisele melodii studen\u0163e\u015fti. C\u00e2ntate de omul singur cu o chitar\u0103 \u00een spate, bine\u00een\u0163eles. Nu le mai amintesc, da&#8217; \u00ees melodiile alea presupus pline de haz pe care le c\u00e2nt\u0103 M\u0103rgineanu \u0103la ca \u015fi cum le-ar fi compus el.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Sau Phoenix. Omul singur cu chitara te simte c\u00e2nd e\u015fti f\u0103r\u0103 de sc\u0103pare \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i c\u00e2nt\u0103 Phoenix. Nu-\u0163i c\u00e2nt\u0103 Pink Floyd, nu-\u0163i c\u00e2nt\u0103 Dire Straits, nu-\u0163i c\u00e2nt\u0103 nici m\u0103car Eric Clapton, el \u00ee\u0163i c\u00e2nt\u0103 Phoenix. Asemeni crocodilului care te trage sub mal \u00eenainte s\u0103 te termine, el te umile\u015fte \u00eenainte demonstr\u00e2ndu-\u0163i c\u00e2t e\u015fti de mic.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Fere\u0219te-te de omul singur cu chitar\u0103!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">C\u00e2nd omul singur cu chitara \u00een spate vede ca e\u015fti imun la toate \u00eencerc\u0103rile lui de a te viola medieval, \u015faizecist sau phoenix style \u00een urechi, trece la arma secret\u0103. Colindele. Cu c\u00e2t\u0103 ur\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i sfredele\u015fte timpanele \u015fi cu ce pervers\u0103 r\u0103bdare de chinez b\u0103tr\u00e2n maestru al pic\u0103turii \u00ee\u0163i toac\u0103 nervii &#8211; nici cel mai odios tor\u0163ionar din Panama n-ar reu\u015fi s\u0103-l egaleze.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">C\u00e2t\u0103 dorin\u0163\u0103 de moarte \u00een cuvintele c\u00e2ntate odios ca \u00een filmele cu Freddy Krugger: \u201d\u015fi-au v\u00e2nat un iepuraaaa\u015f, dom dom s\u0103-n\u0103l\u0163\u0103m\u201d sau \u201dflorileee-s daaalbe\u201d!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">Atunci c\u00e2nd mergi la un concert cu prietenul t\u0103u, drag\u0103 poponarule, sau cu prietena ta, drag\u0103 fat\u0103 nefutut\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 prietene, ca numa de-\u0103\u015ftia ca voi merg la concerte folk sau de colinde, feri\u0163i-v\u0103 de omul singur cu chitara!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">E un sfat prietenesc, din inim\u0103. Io am facut otit\u0103 de la el.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">P.S. : titlul e inspirat dintr-o discu\u0163ie avut\u0103 mai devreme cu Lorena despre noul stil de futut care se nume\u015fte \u201eLer\u201d.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">lorena lupu : stai lin!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">ostap bender: stai ler!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">lorena lupu : stai ler e o noua pozitie sexuala? \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">ostap bender : tre sa canti colinzi in timp ce el te penetreaza cu un cozonac<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">ostap bender : sau caltabos<\/p>\n<p lang=\"ro-RO\">ostap bender : depinde<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Salut, sunt Ostap Bender \u0219i am fost abuzat de mic. Io de c\u00e2nd m-am n\u0103scut \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een ziua de azi am fost futut.&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3060"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3060\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}